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The Irony of My Life || @Papillon_noir3 on Wattpad

ItsJustKai: Hey, there! What's uppppp? It's been awhile. Hope y'all had a safe halloween.

I made myself a person/character aesthetic thingy



Anyways, this one is by Papillon_noir3
Thanksssss!

"Now I am sure you all are ecstatic to know what the mystery field trip we are going to on Friday. We are going to............. Stark Industries!!" Ms. Laurence announced energetically to Peter's 4th Period Physics class.

The class erupted in cheers of excitement while Peter only felt dread coil in his stomach.

"Sucks to be you" Ned whispered at Peter, laughter glittering in his eyes.

"Psst Penis. Hey Penis!" Peter hear Flash whisper at him. He sighed and turned around.

"What??" Peter whisper-yelled at Flash

"Everyone's gonna know how fake your SI Internship is!" Flash told Peter triumphantly.

Peter and Ned rolled their eyes and shared a look of long-suffering. Peter sighed again. How on Earth was he supposed to keep it a secret that the Avengers are his family! He braids Natasha's hair and bakes cookies with Cap and Bucky!! He calls Pepper and Tony Mom and Dad, well they are after Tony adopted him but that's beside the point!

At least I have Ned.

He made it through the day, ignoring Flash for the most part. He was chatting with Ned while MJ stood there sketching.

" See ya tomorrow losers," MJ said as she left.

Peter turned around as he heard Happy beep. "See you tomorrow Ned!" He called as he stepped in the car. Ned waved and walked to the subway.

During the car ride, Happy noticed that the normally chirpy and bouncy teen was now subdued. "You good kid?" Happy asked.

Looking startled, Peter said, "Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm fine."

Happy said "Whatever you say kid." before rolling his eyes and the car ride passed in comfortable silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the evening passed by with no interruptions until dinner.

"So. About that field trip Peter..." Aunt Natasha said, smirking while waving a yellow trip slip.

Peter gulped. "Ha... Ab-bout that..." Peter nervously stuttered out.

Natasha smirked before handing the paper and a pen to Tony who signed it with a flourish and gave it to Peter. Peter was about to rip it up before Natasha glared at him, and boy was that scary. He nervously smiled before putting the paper in his backpack and saying, "Please, please don't embarrass me too much..."

Clint replied, "Of course not Petey."

Peter sunk down in his chair, dreading the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As his alarm went off, Peter groaned and sluggishly got ready for the day. He walked downstairs and saw that Steve was making pancakes and cheered. At least his day started out great.

He sat down and Steve placed a stack of pancakes in front of him. "Thanks, Steve."

"You're welcome Pete," replied Cap before turning back to the stove. Peter inhaled his pancakes before grabbing his jacket and backpack. He called out a hurried goodbye before leaving.

The Avengers all waved and replied with a chorus of goodbyes.

He was walking to school before cold fear washed over him. It was the day if the dreaded field trip. He arrived at school as the bus did. He walked inside, the teacher took attendance, and the 30 or so students boarded the school bus.

"Alright class, we will be going to Stark Industries one of the most technologically advanced paced and the most prestigious place in the world. You are here to represent Midtown High, so do not misbehave. I hope you guys are as excited as me!" Ms. Laurence announced as the bus started driving. The students chattered for the next 20 minutes while Peter's nervous smile betrayed his emotions. Flash took this as an invitation to mess with Peter, as the whole ride he was taunting and teasing Peter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the student's entered the building, they were told to sit and wait for an intern to come and give them the tour. They waited for a bit before a young woman in her 20s with long red hair came rushing past.

"Peter! I am so glad I found another intern!" Shouted the frazzled woman, whose name was Eloise.

"What? What's going on Eloise" Peter replied as his classmates looked on interested. Flash sputtered but stayed silent as he wanted to know what was going on. MJ just looked bored.

Eloise stated grimly, "I am absolutely crammed with work and so is Simon! I need someone to give a group of students a tour guide."

"Yeah... About that..." Peter started. Eloise looked at him expectantly, "I'm in that group." Peter finished, gesturing behind him. Eloise seemed to just then take in her surroundings before laughing and saying, "The irony!"

"Well. I still need you to give the tour so bye!" Eloise said before shoving a box into Peter's hand before scurrying off.

"Well, that was unexpected. " Abraham, one of Peter's classmates said.

Angered, Flash yelled, "How much did you pay her Penis??"

"Well, I dunno what he could have paid her with since a minute ago you were teasing him about how poor he was. " MJ retorted, still not looking up from her book.

"Well. We have a tour to get to and I am sorry about the confusion, but I am now your tour guide." Peter said calmly, settling into the tour guide position.

"I will be handing you a Level 1 badge. It is white. They will expire once you leave the building. Keep them where security can see them at all times." said Peter as he gave out badges.

"What do the different levels mean? Your badge is red." Macy another of Peter's classmates inquired.

"The different colors are the different levels. Level one, basic guests, is white. Level two, more important guests and janitors, is black. Level 3 is secretaries and low-level interns, it is purple as an insult to Hawkeye. Level 4 is blue and reserved to lower level engineers and scientists. Level 5 is green and is for high-level Interns. Level 6 is Yellow and is for high up scientists, engineers, programmers and people who work directly under Pepper Potts. Level 7 is for the Avengers, it is orange. Level 8 is red and it is reserved for Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, and like 3 classified people."

"How do you have a level 8 access Penis??" Flash shouted. Peter ignored him.

"Now, that was a lot of information, but I need to check in so I can take you all through security and start the tour." Peter finished before going to the check-in point for staff members.

Flash fumed while the other classmates whispered and chattered amongst themselves in disbelief. A few tried to approach Ned and MJ for answers but were quickly shut down.

When Peter returned, everyone went silent. "Now," Peter began, "please go through security one by one."

Everyone did as instructed, waiting on the other side with Peter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They started their tour and Peter's passion for the place soon became clear. As he wrapped up the historical part of the tour, he lead them to an R&D lab where 2 scientists, Dr. Emma Bauer and Dr. Hayden Schultz gave a presentation.

During the presentation, Peter felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked behind him. It was Bruce!

"Hello Peter! what are you doing here?" The mild mannered scientist asked, a smile working it's way onto his face.

"I'm on the field trip. How much sleep have you gotten recently?" Peter replied, taking in the bags under Bruce's eyes and the sleepy look on his face. Neither one noticed, but the class had stilled, taking in the friendly scene before them. "Uhh. Like 5 hours about 2 days ago..." Bruce said, wincing.

"Go to sleep. Now. Or I will lock you out of your lab, you know I have the ability to do that." Peter ordered kindly. Bruce smiled and left as the rest of the class stared in shock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The class left the R&D lab and Peter announced looking annoyed, "We are now going to watch some of the avengers... train."

The class cheered and followed Peter into the elevator. Unfortunately the elevator was already occupied. With the Black Widow. The looked around at the teens with obvious distaste on her face before seeing Peter. Her face lit up with obvious joy from seeing him. "Hello Мой маленький паук (My little spider) what are you doing here? Oh, and Wanda wants you to learn how to do a waterfall braid for the gala in a week."

Peter looked pained before answering, "Of course Ms. Romanov."

"What have I said about what you can and cannot call me?" Natasha said, glaring at him.

Peter flushed before replying, "I can only call you...Nat, Aunt Nat, Тетя Наташа (Aunt Natasha) or... Mama Spider."

The class snorted. Flash yelled out, "Hey! I cant believe you know how to braid hair. What a girly thing to do. And whats up with the stupid names?"

Natasha slowly turned to Flash and said, "Если ты повредишь ему или снова скажешь что-нибудь подобное, я разорву тебя. (If you hurt him or say something like that again, I will rip your throat out.)" Flash was completely lost on what she said but just the tone of her voice scared the shit out of him. And when Peter said, "Aunt Nat! You can't kill minors!!" He became even more frightened. But when she stepped out of the elevator he regained his cool.

"Change of plans! We will be eating in the cafeteria intstead, so you can get in line, scan your badge and you will get free food. Today's menu is... Grilled chicken, cornbread, and assorted fruit."

The group of teens got in line and picked up their food. Several students noticed that Peter went to a different line and came back with spaghetti and garlic bread. They then heard a loud clap of thunder and saw 2 very noticeable people walk in the cafeteria. Peter jumped up and ran at them. "Uncle Thor! Uncle Loki!" Peter cried as he ran towards them. Thor picked up Peter and spun him around. " I have brought presents young Midguardian!"

"As have I." Loki said as he smirked good naturedly at the energetic pair. He yelped in surprised as Peter hugged him once Thor set him down. "There, there young one. I have missed you too. 6 months is far too long." Peter's smile was blinding. He walked back to his table, filling the pair in on what had happened since their last visit. The class was shocked.

After lunch, Peter said goodbye to Thor and Loki, promising the two a movie night sometime soon.

"Dude. You didn't tell me you knew Thor and Loki!!" Ned whisper-shouted.

"Relax. You can meet them like this week at movie night." Peter whispered frantically, trying to defuse the situation before anyone else heard. Luckily he was successful.

Peter then stated, looking pained, "We are now going to watch some of the avengers... train." Peter groaned. "It looks Like Captain America is training with the Winter Soldier."

"Hey Pete!" Clint yelled as he dropped from the vents. Peter stifled the urge to smack Clint and instead smiled. "Hello Katniss. I am giving a tour to my class so, could you train? I dunno. Do something really impressive."

The class stared in awe at their familiarity. Clint addressed the class, "You guys wanna see something cool before I give you over to ol' grandpa over there." The class cheered.

Clint went through the class doors protecting viewers from any projectile objects. They watched as Clint put a blindfold on, got his bow and arrow and stood in front of the targets. He then went down the line, hitting the bulls eye on each one. Che class clapped and cheered as he turned around and gave an unnecessary bow. He then called for Bucky and Steve.

"Hey class!" Steve said, smiling warmly as Bucky looked on with a blank face.

"So today we are going to blabla bla bla..." The lecture went on and on and Peter just stood there. The lecture was boring, but the majority (excluding MJ and Peter) of the class were absorbed into it.

Peter's phone dinged and he noticed that the class had to leave in 10 minutes. At a pause in Steve's speech he said, "Well thank you so much Steve and Buck, but we have to leave!"

"Bye Peter! Oh and do you want Thai or Chinese, you are the tie breaker." Bucky said quickly as the last of the kids filed out.

"Thai! See you tonight!" replied Peter.

"Bye!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The class was waiting in the lobby, waiting for the bus to arrive when Flash said, "May I go to the bathroom?"

"Sure." Replied the teacher, "But take Peter with you."

Flash smirked and Ned whispered a quick good luck as Peter and Flash left. They had not even left the corner before Flash punched Peter in the face. "How do you know the avengers Penis!?!?! I could've maybe forgave you for the obvious bribery involved with that Eleanor chick and maybe Hulk but who did ya have to fondle to get all of the avengers to act like they know you???"

"Are you just trying to show me up Penis????" Flash yelled in Peter's face, spittle lying everywhere. He was about to punch Peter again when his fist was caught and he felt himself being dragged by security.

Tony Stark was standing there in all of his 5'9'' glory, looking pissed as hell.

"What the hell is going on!!" He exclaimed, "Why the fuck were you beating up my kid???"

"I uh. I-i..." Flash uttered intelligently.

" Let me ask you again-what's his name-ah yes Eugene. Let me ask you again Eugene, why were you beating up my kid."

"H-he d-deserved it?" Flash squeaked out, obviously terrified.

Tony sighed. "Get the fuck out of my tower. I don't want to see you ever again. If you touch my kid again I will ruin your life."

"You c-can't do that!" Flash squeaked indignantly.

"Uh yeah I can. I'm Tony goddamn Stark I do what I want. Now get out."

Let's just say that Peter never saw hide nor hair of Flash ever again.

"Now kid. You and I are going to discuss what the hell that was with Pepper." Peter gulped "OK Dad." This was going to be a long night.

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