ItsJustKai: I'm not sorry ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 🔝🔝

Anyways, this has SpideyPool and Stony. A lot of people requested these two ships and I love these two ships so freaking much.

@apjofan76 said that I can use her one shot for this book. So, thanks, apjofan76.

Also, Deadpool is seventeen in this, civil war never happened, Tony was cautious of bucky at first but then they got along slowly.

Peter Parker has never had the best luck in his life, hence the phrase Parker luck kept following him around. But, after all his been through, what with his parents death, uncle Ben's death, becoming Spiderman (which is a whole can of worm all on it's own) and recently the death of May Parker, he thought he'd get a little bit of a break. If Parker luck was a physical entity, Peter imagined it laughing out loud at his thought and planning his demise with a well placed thought of NOPE!

After aunt May's death, which was due to cancer (screw that disease and everything it stands for) Peter was, as any normal child of 16 would be, lost, he didn't know where he'll go, what he'd eat, his thoughts were practically in a loop of "ohmygodpleasedon'tsendmetoafosterhome."

Turns out he did not have to worry about that because apparently May was a strong woman who knew when her timd was up, and had talked to Tony -and by extension Steve- about taking the boy in.

Living in the avengers compound was great, he got his own lab, a father to geek out with, heck he could call Captain America pops, not to mention the rest of the Avengers told (demanded of) him to call them aunt or uncle, he was practically living any 16 year old's dream.

But of course no one could actually know that he got adopted by Iron-man and Captain America, at least not yet, until Pepper handled the press.

No one is to say anything about spiderman. No matter how alike Peter and Tony could be, there is no way that he'd be able to pull off a
"I Am Spiderman"™ his dad said he could if he wanted to, but ultimately, it was up to him. And him being him, telling anyone that he is Spiderman is a big No No.

It all starts when, He returned to his school after two days of excused day off, which is to say, he got so badly injured fighting doc oc, his fathers made up an excuse for him to stay home and got Natasha to call them and use her super spy skills to make the school believe that he had the flu for exactly two days.

He was of course fine in day one but he was not allowed to go to school or patrol for at least two days to make sure he " didn't keep giving his old mans repeated heart attacks, do you hear me young man?" He struck a hard bargain with Tony to let Deadpool in the tower. And due to him being "injured" even got both Tony and Wade to play nice.

And he is healed completely, he has super healing thank you very much, but super healing does absolutely nothing to prevent the overdrive of senses always out to get him. He hopes that he would be able to have a mostly quiet day.

Remember how he mentioned Parker luck laughing at his face in the beginning? Yeah, it's doing exactly that right now. Peter can feel something is about to go wrong (which he can but you know what he means)

"Class, has your parents alerted you that they have been sent an email the day before yesterday for the upcoming field trip? Apparently all of them accepted so you are all going to the field trip today."

Peter jerked, email? His dads didn't tell him about getting anything. He raised his hand and Mr. Warren cut him off, "Yes Mr. Parker all of you includes you too"

Peter lowered his hand just as Cindy asked, "So.... Where is this field trip? Cause my parents didn't tell me anything."

Mr. Warren had a smirk on his face. "Well, those of you who don't know would get a nice surprise wouldn't they?" The man said good naturedly and the class grumbled about secretive parents.

Peter looked towards Ned, who looked like he was barely holding on his tirade about going on an adventure. His best friend looked too excited about the trip for him to tell him he had a bad feeling about this. They loaded on the bus, even though Mr. Warren told them, where they were going, they could have walked also. Peter thanked Mr. Warren's common sense for having the fore sight of actually taking the bus instead of letting the kids walk. As they were going to their destination, Peter took in the familiar roads of New York. Ned excitedly chattering next to him. Wait.... That building? And that one? And...... Actually, the roads are becoming a bit too familiar for his liking.

Peter looked towards Ned, "Hey Ned, doesn't the route look familiar?" He asked his best friend as he took a breath from talking.

"Familiar? How?"

"It is see?" Peter pointed to the window next to him and Ned looked out, frowned, and then contemplated, "DUDE! You don't think we're going...... There are we!" Ned whispered seeming to be much more excited at the note than Peter would have liked him to be.

"I don't know man, I hope not." Peter nervously chewed his lips and looked out the window as his worst fears came to life.

When the group got down from the bus Peter Was actively panicking, with Ned trying to provide comfort (which didn't help nearly as much as it should have helped) as the rest of the class looked on at awe at the Avengers Tower. Even MJ looked awed, for a moment then she caught herself, and went back to ignoring everyone by looking at her book.

"Well, well, well, looks like Parker's big lie about his internship is about to be busted." Flash called out getting a few snickers from his 'friends' and an eyeroll from Ned,

"Flash you do realize that no one but you actually cares about whether Peter's internship is real or not right?" Mj raised an eyebrow.

Flash sputtered and then decided he's content with glaring at Peter for now.

Peter, however was violently reminded that Flash was going in the tower, which means that if any of the avengers get news of him doing anything remotely wrong, they're gonna be there, which is bad news for Flash, and the person at the PR who thought they could withhold worrying about the news of Peter's adoption till next month.

When Mr. Warren was finally done with the headcount he lead the group towards the reception area a young neat blonde woman was sitting at the desk, typing away at her computer, Peter recognizes her as Emily.

" Hello, we're here for the tour from Midtown high?" He prompted as the young woman looked up from her computer with a marketing smile.

"Of course we will get our tour guide in a minute, please wait here."

Her tone was polite, fake and customer pleasing, as anyone would expect from a receptionist. A few minutes of Flash trying to get on his nerves later, a bubbly young woman made her way to the group, Peter doesn't really remember her name, but he saw her when he was passing the lower floors.

"Hello, Midtown High, my name is Sara and I'll be your tour guide today, before we begin I need to give you security pa...." She trails off as her eyes catches sight of Peter and bugs out, "Oh my god you're Peter Parker! I've seen you in the labs before! You're kind of a legend for all the other interns and some of the staff. Oh! But of course you knew that, why wouldn't you know that? You're a wizard with technology by the way"

During her rambling, Peter kept getting more and more red.

"Wait, stop please, Sara, I'm not really that special, and besides, there's a tour?" Peter cut her off pointing at his gobsmacked peers bar Ned and MJ, and she seemed to come to her senses and began distributing passes to everyone mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'Peter Parker knows my name'

"What the fuck was that about Parker?!? How much did you pay her to pretend to know you?"

"I paid her nothing Flash, besides, it's..... Kinda embarrassing being being recognized" not that he believed that he won't be recognized when they got inside the tower, but that was the problem of Peter Stark-Rogers ten minutes into the future.

Flash just scoffed and pushed pass him to grab his pass.

When Peter, MJ and Ned were the last three without security passes Sara gave them an apologetic glance, "Sorry, guys but I guess they didn't print passes out for you, you still have your own passes right?"

The boys nodded and stood behind the line to scan the passes.

"Eugene Thompson, visitor" FRIDAY's bored voice rang through a speaker.

The rest of the line went smoothly... Until it got to Ned that is, "Hello, Ned, I did not expect you here so early" FRIDAY's voice turned from bored to interested.

"I'm on a field trip milady FRIDAY ." Ned said. MJ scanned her pass and got a quiet greet from FRIDAY as well.

Then, Peter scanned his own pass, "Hello Peter, are you on the Field trip as well?"

"Yeah, FRI, listen, could you do me a favour and not tell anyone I'm here?" Peter added the last part in a hushed tone to keep his classmates from listening.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Boss has already been informed, and I imagine it wouldn't take long for the rest to know either." FRIDAY replied in a low volume in a speaker closest to Peter so that only he could hear.

Peter groaned, "why does this happen to me?" He mumbled.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE PENIS?" Flash hollers.

Peter rolls his eyes. And makes his way towards the rest of the class. It doesn't even take ten minutes for people to start recognizing him, normally, Peter doesn't have work in the levels lower than 50. Heck, he barely walks in through the front doors! When he does go lower however, he's usually in a frenzy. So he can't be blamed if he doesn't recognize half of the people who are smiling at him right? His classmates notice that people are smiling at Peter though, and their whispers and mumbling does absolutely nothing to soothe his upcoming headache.

As Sara tried to heard the group towards the elevator they saw a man staring up at a vent opening and yelling at it. The group looked at the man incredulously. Peter knew who he was and exactly what was happening , well... Not exactly, but he thinks he knows the gist of it.

The man sees the group and catches Peter's eye, "Pete! Thank god you're here! Old birdbrain up there is spreading lies and slander."

Peter could feel everyone turn their eyes towards him, well, since they probably would gather enough crap on him anyway,

"What'd he do this time?" Peter asked curiously just as another man dropped from the vent and both approached him.

"Peter! My dude, My nerd, I was just telling Falcon here that I am the superior uncle." Clint grinned.

"And I was just telling him that obviously I am the superior one." Sam pointedly told him.

Peter sighed, "I told you guys before, all of you guys are the same level of great."

"But..."

"No buts, you're all great and I can't choose one to be better than the other." Peter said sternly, the three of them ignoring Peter's classmates and a snickering Ned.

#######

After sending them away, Peter pointedly ignored the stares his peers kept giving him. Even though a yelling Flash is hard to ignore.

"Who the fuck was that penis? Where did you get two avenger look a likes? How did you even manage to bring them inside the building?"

So on and forth, Peter was thanking uncle Bruce in his head for those self control yoga classes. But even then his patience was nearing it's limits. Which is when a red and black clad man decides to join the party.

"PETYPIE!!!!" Was Peter's only warning barring his spider sense before he was tackled by a very enthusiastic Deadpool.

"Hey, Wade, mind letting me walk?" Peter managed to say even though he didn't look particularly bothered by being smushed against the merc -if his grin was anything to go by-

"nope! You're home early though, are you sick again?! Does it hurt? Don't lie to me babyboy." The mercenary rambled.

Peter shook his head, "I'm fine Wade, I'm on a field trip... Here." He reassured.

Wade gave looked towards their audience, and then gave Peter a critical once over to determine that he was in fact not dying. He seemed to be having a conversation with the boxes.

"Fine, but as long as you're here, I'm coming with." Peter sighed but agreed, he may be perfectly fine, but any excuse to spend time with his boyfriend is a good excuse in his book.

"YOU'RE DEADPOOL!" One of Peter's classmates yelled as they got their voice back.

"What gave it away? the red and black or the katanas?" Peter mused wryly.

And then his eyes lit up. "Wade! These are my friends Ned And MJ." Peter introduced.

MJ looked up at Deadpool with narrowed eyes, and Ned poked him to make sure he is real.

"You love Peter then?" MJ asked Wade replied "with all my heart" and Peter groaned,

"MJ please don't."

Wade had this talk with his fathers, and the family, the whole family.

"Listen man, I don't care that you can't die, but if Peter gets hurt under your watch, I will make you dead" MJ threatened.

"Hey if baby boy ends up hurt, I'm hurting myself very much anyway, you can help."

"Wade no!"

"YOU'RE DATING PENIS PARKER?" Flash gasped, and , oh boy this is gonna be bad.

"What'd you just call him?" Wade says in a low voice.

"Wade, calm down, remember your no kill streak? It's been six months, don't break it."

Peter tried to calm his boyfriend down and sent a warning glare towards Flash to keep. His. Mouth. Shut.

"I can't unalive him?"

"No Wade."

"Not even a little bit?"

"No Wade come on, we're on a tour"

Peter sent a pleading look at Sara who took the hint and began hearing them all towards lab 53. Lab 53 is an R&D lab not that important, though, Wade can't enter that lab either, (lifetime ban on lab equipment) Peter walks in behind everyone, slightly uninterested, only to be staring at the Princess of Wakanda and Bruce banner talking. It was Shuri who noticed them first.

"Why are children in the lab?" She questioned.

"We're having a tour from midtown high your highness." Sara supplied helpfully.

"Midtown high?" Bruce questioned,

"Peter's school?" His eyes scanned the crowd and lit up when he caught sight of Peter.

"Pete! You didn't say you had a tour here." Bruce wondered.

"I didn't know either, turns out they sent an email to my parents, who didn't even tell me I had a field trip." Peter was not pouting goddamnit.

Flash raised a hand and Bruce pointed at him indicating him to ask his question.

"Dr. Banner, Parker actually has an internship here?" He asked a perplexed looking Bruce.

"What are you talking about? Peter's....." He couldn't finish whatever he was about to say as Peter cut him off.

"Yes, I am Flash, we're in the building! You saw what happened until now, I'm dating Wade for crying out loud, why is it that hard to believe?"

"And where is your menace of a boyfriend?" Shuri asked deciding she didn't like Flash an doesn't really care about what he has to say.

"He's outside, he decided to crash the tour." Peter said,

"Good, you two are meeting me in a training room after this, I finished making them, and I need to test it out."

"THE LIGHTSABERS?!?!" Ned squealed from next to him.

"They're finished?" Peter said in awe.

"Actually, gather Ned and Wade, you're coming with me right now."

"You can't steal him, he's with his class Shuri." Bruce said placatingly.

"That's so sad, FRIDAY play despacito."

The song started playing over the speakers inside the lab.

"He's my friend, I'm a princess, I can do whatever I want." Peter couldn't withhold a snort at that.

"Peteeeeeer! Tell you teacher you want to come with me!"

"How about after the tour? It'll be an hour at most, and don't you have stuff to so with uncle Bruce?" He could tell everyone was gaping at him.

Well, whatever, they can make their own assumptions, so long as they don't figure out who Spiderman is he's good.

Shuri pouted but relented, "OK, but don't take more than an hour, lightsabers waits for no man"

"I swear." Peter said and turned back to his class and three amused looking Ned, MJ, and Sara.

"Alright, since no one will probably pay attention to anything in this room anyway, how about we move to the next section, which is...."

She was cut off by another frazzled looking intern walking towards them, "Sara, you're working with Seamus in lab 32 right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We need you to go there, he can't come in today, apparently, he fell and broke his hand." Sara mumbled something like, 'that boy, I swear' before shaking her head, "but I have a tour to lead here."

The other intern looked even more frazzled. And then she noticed Peter.

"Oh, Peter thank god you're here, listen, I'm gonna have to borrow Sara for a while, could you lead the tour? thanks!"

And just as soon as she came, she left pushing Sara out the door cartoon style. MJ snorted and brought them all back to reality,

"good luck leading the tour loser." She said in true MJ fashion that made everyone jerk their head towards Peter the boy sighed, this is gonna be a looong day.

#########

"So, then I told her that she can't use her fucking powers in training, and in the next round of combat she shot me, which, hurts like a bitch, but at least she didn't use her powers......" Deadpool rambled on all their way to the next destination, which Friday provided was a lower level avengers gym.

Peter didn't do much talking during his time in 'leading' the tour, but he figured everything said in these touts are public knowledge anyway so why bother? Besides, his peers seem to be much more entranced to see Wade talking about the new avengers recruits training he has been giving. Even -Peter glanced at Mr. Warren his chaperone seemed sucked in the story.

They reached the gym and Peter could hear people inside. He frowned, this gym is strictly for avengers or higher level S.H.I.E.L.D personel. But no one actually practices here because they prefer sparring. And this one is not meant for that. He owns the doors, and...... Wow, Peter has never been more unimpressed while seeing the avengers workout before.

Natasha was doing yoga, and attempting to teach Wanda to do the same (Wanda, who hates Yoga) Bucky was lifting weights with his metal arm (weights that are waaaay less then his limit of carrying things.) Vision was calmly floating. Rhodey was apparently punching a punching bag (which is exercising, something he usually wouldn't do without Steve's coaxing)

"Really guys?" Peter questioned.

Because what else did you do when your aunt and uncles and older sister figure decides to embarrass you.

"Pete!" Rhody exclaimed as though they weren't waiting for them to get there.

Wade snorts.

"Hello children of Midtown high" Natasha welcomed, and nobody seemed to be offended, but then again it is entirely possible that they were too starstruck to actually hear what she told them.

"What are you guys doing here?" Peter decided to ask.

"We're training." Bucky shrugged nonchalantly.

"Training?"

"Yes"

"Here?"

"Yeah, jeez kid you've been hanging out with widow too much, what's with the interrogating?"

"You came to a level one access gym -one that none of you ever use- to practice, today, all of a sudden?"

"I know we're surprised too!" Wanda exclaimed with false cheer.

Peter raised an eyebrow and Wade was cackling in the background.

"Riiiiiiight. Well, say something inspirational for my class and we'll be leaving you to your training."

"Come on Peter, where's the fun in that? Besides, inspirational is tall blond and patriotic's job." Rhody piped in.

Peter sighed, "Guys, come on, can we not do this right now? I kinda have to lead the tour now that Sara had to be pulled away, and it's getting kinda overwhelming."

Never let it be said that Peter Parker had ineffective puppy eyes.

"You do seem to be starting to have one of your sensory overload migraines,perhaps it would be benefactory to wear your glasses and earplugs?" Vision suggested.

"Oh, I....kinda don't have them on me?" Peter replied.

"Wade, get them." Natasha doesn't even miss a beat.

"The top drawer in the table in your room babyboy?" Wade whispers to him and Peter simply nodded.

The avengers that are present didn't make much fanfare of it after that. As soon as Wade came back the class was excused to be bearded towards the food court. The glasses and year plugs did marvels for his headache. He kissed Wades mask covered cheeks.

And if he heard one of his classmates mumble "holy shit he looks hot in glasses" just before he plugged his ears, well... He chose to graciously ignore that comment.

###########

Reaching the food court, Peter left the Class to their own devices and telling them that they had to leave in half and hour or so. He was very ready for the day to be over. Peter grabbed Ned and MJ, (he didn't have to look to know that Wade would be following) and chose a table. So of course, most of his class had to choose that table as well. He even saw Flash sulking at the corner furthest from him.

He ate quietly, and ignored his classmates stares. He was glad For Wade though, he warned his classmates not to overwhelm Peter, his class and Mr. Warren seemed plenty intimidated by his boyfriend. Peter knew without Wade there, he would be swarmed by questioning peers, and of course a seething Flash. (Peter decided the best part of the day was seeing the life leaving Flash's eyes when he met Wade). He knew that wouldn't stay though, Peter'd probably have to answer a gazilion questions when he got back to school the next day. He grimaced at the thought.

Just as he thought he was out of the woods, two arguing voices coming towards them made Peter want to groan, why them? Why now? He almost made it out without spilling his secrets!

"You don't understand, I need them!"

"Well, that's tragic because you can't keep those!"

"Oh, are you gonna stop me?"

"You bet I am."

"You and what tea army?"

"For heavens sake!"

"Fuck you I'm Tony Stark-Rogers, I do what I want."

Peter's class mates watched the exchange with wide eyes. It was a bit hard to believe the power couple of all power couples fought so vehemently.... Unless you lived with them, then you'd know that they fought for every tiny single little thing, most of the time just for the sake of fighting.

Steve looked up from Tony's face and immediately his eyes landed on Peter. The boy sighed.

"Peter! help me with this!" He called out and walked himself and Tony towards the table Peter was in.

"What'd you do this time?" Peter asked his mentor turned father who sputtered.

"Why is it your first conclusion that I -the brilliant mind that I am- did something wrong?"

Peter looked at Steve, "What'd he do this time?"

"Mr. I'm-rich-and-I-do-what-I-want over here, decided that it would be a splendid idea to install a coffee machine at every room in the pent house, the common room, the workshop and who knows where else!"

Peter shot Tony an incredulous look, "why would you do that?!?!"

"Coffee is life sustenance and I'm doing everyone a favour by making it easy to attain." Peter raised an eyebrow at that.

"Hawkeye drank his coffee from the kitchen coffee machine this morning, I think he's a little honey loops right now." Wade piped up from next to him.

Peter sighed and was about to open his mouth but apparently Flash decided he had lost the will to live.

"HOW THE FUCK DOES PENIS PARKER KNOW SO MANY AVENGERS?!?!"

Peter literally saw both of his father's faces darken, all he could do was watch an both IronMan and Captain America turned to Flash and glare at him. The boy in question gulped, Peter looked towards Wade for help but the other boy seemed to be enjoying the whole thing like one of his favourite dramas.

"And, why-" Tony's voice was deceptively calm "did you call him penis, when his name is clearly Peter?"

OK, then, it's time to give his fathers a speech about how it's illegal to kill teenagers.

"Woah, there, d- uh, Tony! Let's calm down and thi-..."

He never got to finish his speech, because Flash apparently thought Tony would stop Deadpool from killing him, ( he probably would, to kill him himself)

He also conveniently forgot that , Steve -I don't like bullies- Stark-Rogers was there, and what Flash said was most likely bullying.

"Well, I mean it's just Parker, he's worthless, why wouldn't I call him some kind of name?"

"Petypie, why can't I shove one of my katanas up his ass and-"

Wade was cut off by Steve, "Did you just call my son worthless?"

There was a reason why people get scared of Steve Rogers, and Peter was sure Flash was about to find out. The glare Flash was getting could possibly melt steel.

Peter could hear everyone squeak out a "SON?!?!"

Before Tony spoke up, "you know what kid? Could you get out of the building please? Just get out, we'll have a talk with your principal tomorrow, just get out of my building now."

Peter looked at Mr. Warren, the man seemed to want to protest, but, really, what do you say against Ironman and Captain America? Flash -who for once seemed to get survival instinct- bolted out of the door.

Tony turned towards the teacher, "uh, yo, teacher person over there, I'm just gonna take my son and go since your tour is over in a while, FRIDAY'll get you another tour guide if you need it."

That being said, Tony walked to Peter grabbed him, turned to Wade, "you get one point for the katana in the ass thing" and walked out the door with Steve and an extremely gleefull Wade in tow.

Everyone turned to Ned and MJ.

The latter scoffed and turned back to her book, and Ned raised an eyebrow, " you guys didn't believe us about the internship. Why the heck would we tell you people about the adoption?"