"Peter, can you take the trash out please?" Tony called as Peter walked past him with his bag on his shoulder, having just gotten home from school. He was reading an article about himself on the internet, wondering how on earth people had gotten the idea that he and cap were together. 

"Yes dad," Peter sighed, dumping his bag by the door. 

"Put your bag in your room." 

"Yes dad." Peter grumbled, picking up the bag by one of the straps and dragging it into the hallway and into his bedroom. 

A few minutes passed, and Tony began to wonder what exactly Peter was doing when he told him to take the trash out. 

A loud, piercing scream made him jump in his seat, looking around wildly. 

It took him a second to realise it was Clint screaming, and looked at Natasha, who was sitting on the couch opposite him, watching Game of Thrones, wrapped in her favourite knit blanket that Bucky had made. 

Catching his eye, Natasha turned to look at him. "What? I didn't do anything this time, I swear."

"Are you sure? No explosives that you forgot about? Or booby traps that shoot out daggers, or poisons that paralyse you-"

"Nothing! It's not me this time! Maybe Bucky threw his arm at him again." 

Tony hummed in agreement, deciding to ignore Clint's frantic screams and yelps for help. 

Two minutes later, Peter appeared in the doorway of the hallway, dragging someone by the ankles. 

Clint was on the ground, clawing the floor and yelling. 

"Peter put me down! Put me down I swear to god-" he yelled, clawing the ground as Peter easily dragged him by the ankles towards the elevator. 

"Peter what are you doing?" Tony asked, smiling amusedly, watching with eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion. 

Peter turned and looked at him with a wide grin. 

"You told me to take the trash out." 

The room went silent, everyone taking in exactly what had just happened. 

"You little sh!t!" Clint shrieked, scrambling to get out of Peter's grip. 

Peter let him go, smiling widely. Natasha was smiling proudly, as though it had been her idea, and Bucky was having trouble breathing as he cracked up laughing in the kitchen, where he had been drinking milk. 

His once clean shirt was now wet with milk down the front, and milk dripped down his face from his nose and mouth. 

Tony took a deep breath, about to scold Peter, but ended up cracking up laughing as well, pinching his nose. 

Steve walked into the room with Wanda and Thor, all holding so many shopping bags that their arms were no longer visible. Well, except for Wanda, who was making them float around her, annoying Thor who couldn't see due to a shopping bag in his face. 

"What's going on?" He asked, frowning in confusion. 

Natasha quickly explained, and Steve gave Peter his Eyebrows Of DisapointmentTM. 

Wanda meanwhile, smiled, and Thor seemed to be deep in thought. 

"I believe that is what you call a burnt." Thor said, seemingly proud of himself. 

***

Clint pressed his lips together, trying not to snigger outloud as he awaited Peter to walk into his bedroom, a bucket of paint in his hands. 

Poor Peter was on his way to his bedroom after a particularly good day at school- Flash hadn't been there to glare at him all day and pelt him with paper balls, and MJ had leant him a really good book. Ned had invited him to his birthday party, and he'd gotten his chemistry test back- 100%, a great accomplishment. 

He turned the doorknob of his door and felt a wave of spider sense wash over him, which he ignored- it was probably just telling him he was going to trip on his dirty washing again or something. 

He was instead met by the cold, liquidy sensation of red paint being thrown over you. 

Peter gasped, closing his eyes, and wiped the paint from his face with his hands, looking up to see Clint grinning evilly at him. 

"Clint! What the heck!" Peter gasped, not liking his joke at all. 

Clint's self-satisfied grin dropped slightly- Peter always called him uncle Clint, so when he didn't, it was always a bad sign. 

"It was payback for when you called me trash and tried to drag me out-"

"That was a week ago!"

"Yeah but this took a lot of planning, and I wanted to make sure you didn't expect it-"

"That's not cool Clint! I did nothing like this! I'm- I'm gonna do the thing!" Peter interrupted loudly, still wiping red paint from his face. 

Clint's eyes widened and his face paled. 

"No! Not the thing! Please not the thing! I'll do anything, I swear!" But even as he said that, he knew it was a hopeless cause, for Peter's eyes had begun to water. 

Tears began streaming down Peters face, and he started wailing loudly, alerting the other avengers of Baby Spider protocol. 

Within seconds, Natasha, Steve, Tony and Bucky were in the room, wondering what was happening. 

"What happened детский паук? (baby spider)" Natasha asked, eyes holding concern that she saved only for Peter. 

"Clint- hiccup- Clint put paint on me!" Peter wailed, pointing a finger at Clint childishly. 

"Aw, come here детский паук, we'll get you cleaned up." Natasha said, pulling out a packet of baby wipes and starting to wipe up his face. 

Peter sniffed and stayed still as she wiped everything up, the other three sending spine chilling glares at Clint. 

"You don't honestly think he's actually crying, do you?" Clint said, gesturing to Peter, who turned and gave him the wateriest, most salty, hateful look Clint had ever seen. His face was already tear stained and childlike, and Clint had to remind himself that he was faking it- he wasn't really crying, it was all pretend-

More tears slid down Peter's face, nose sniffing and his brown eyes so much like a puppy dog- so cute, filled with tears, wide and innocent, and he was upset with him- 

It's fake, Clint reminded himself. It's fake. Don't fall for it, don't fall for it, don't fall for it-

His eyes were so distracting, and the tears were so real, and Peter rubbed his eyes with closed fists-

It's a trAP. IT'S A TRAP. DON'T FALL FOR IT CLINT. DON'T FALL FOR IT-

Steve wrapped a protective arm around Peter, rubbing his back as Peter hugged him back, still crying. Natasha had pulled out her daggers, and Bucky was flexing his metal arm while Tony fired up his repulsers. 

"Come on Peter, you can use the communal shower, we can get that paint off you and have pizza for dinner. Do you want to watch Star Wars afterwards?" 

"Yes please." Peter said croakily as the pair walked away, Steve discretely making sure Peter didn't see Natasha, Bucky and Tony getting ready for a murder. 

"Guys- guys let's talk about this- gUYS!" 

***

As Clint walked around later on, he would have thought the pair were even now- Natasha, Tony, Bucky and Steve later that day had killed him, and he had dumped paint on Peter. 

So when Peter approached him while he was doing target practice, he was immediately both worried and suspicious. 

Peter instead, grinned at him. 

"Do you wanna go prank Sam?" Peter asked, grinning. 

A smile slid onto Clint's house, and he lowered his bow and arrow. 

"Hell yeah." 

***

Sam twitched in annoyance, trying very hard to ignore Clint and Peter as they pelted him with pieces of bread. 

"Falcon!" Peter yelled. 

"You're no good Falcon!" Clint yelled. 

"You're just, like, your father!" 

Peter chucked an entire loaf of bread at Sam's head instead of the small bits like before. 

"Stop!" Sam yelled, snapping. 

Clint and Peter just grinned at him 'innocently'. 

"Is there a problem Mr Pigeon?" Peter asked, smiling like he hadn't just chucked a loaf of bread at his head. 

"Ughhhhhh!" Sam screamed, storming out of the room. 

Bucky watched him leave as he ate fruit loops without milk. "Good job, I've been trying to annoy him into leaving for ages, never managed to do it." He said, looking visibly satisfied. 

Peter and Clint just looked at each other, a silent connection going through their minds. 

"Where's your walking stick?" 

"Are you retired yet?" 

"What was it like to live among the dinosaurs?"

"Did you see the Egyptian pyramids being built?"

"Did you carve things into stone when you first learnt to write?"

"Was it ancient runes?"

"Did you live in a cave?"

"Did you hunt for food?"

"STOP." 

A/N Rest In Peace Stan Lee, you will forever be remembered.