A/N I know most people will skip past this, but I just wanted to apologise for not updating yesterday. It was my sister's birthday, and we had a lot of family things, plus I needed to make the cake and ice it and all that. We're the sort of family who don't have enough candles and have to use an 'upside down six' as a nine. I'll be finishing this book soon, I'm sorry, but I'm running low on ideas and going on holiday in a few days time (leaving the country for the first time- yay!) we almost had to cancel it cos my brother stacked it on his bike and fractured his elbow in one arm and his finger in the other, but we can go now so it's all good. :) Happy Reading. 

Oh also- those who requested a part 2 to the bedtime chapter or whatever, I'm gonna do that tomorrow, don't worry. It should be the last chapter other than another A/N chapter (basically me asking about what I need to improve about my writing and such)

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Peter gasped, looking around the massive area with many kitchens and cameras that zoomed around. There was an entire room filled with different foods, and hundreds of kitchen appliances he had never even heard of- what even was an instant butter batter anyway? 

"We're gonna be on in ten minutes! Spider-Man, where's your apron?" The producer asked, many people trying to keep the Avengers in check and explain exactly what they were supposed to be doing (certainly not trying to convince Thor that Peter can lay eggs and laid some in his bed). 

"Uhhhh- apron?" Peter asked, looking around. He wore his Spider-Man suit for identities sake, and the other avengers wore theirs so people would recognise them better for the television show they were cameoing in for one episode. As you might have guessed, it was a cooking show. 

The producer waved at a person who immediately ran over with a white apron, the Masterchef logo in the corner, and Spider-Man sewn into the side neatly. They pulled it over Peter's head, then tied it at the back for him. 

Peter stumbled around, having no clue at what was supposed to be going on. 

"Alright, positions everybody! Hurry up!" 

With that, everything was go. 

This is how the episode ended up going:

The camera began on Gordon Ramsay, walking into the kitchen, the spotlight upon him. 

"Welcome back to Masterchef, today, we have some guests cooking for us in the competition. They're mighty, they're mainly from earth, or at least we think they are- I'm looking at you Spider-Man- Yep, you guessed it, it's the Earth's Mightiest heroes! Please welcome- The Avengers!" 

The camera expanded to show everyone, waving at the camera. 

"Here at the front we have Ironman, Tony Stark, Billionaire, Philanthropist, genius- man are you arrogant- this is seriously what you wanted as your intro?" Gordon looked at Tony with a raised eyebrow. 

"What can I say, you wanted a description you got one." 

Gordon stared at him with a hard expression for a few seconds. "F*ck you." 

He continued walking, and gestured his hand to Peter, on Tony's right, to the camera's left. 

"Next to the idiot is idiot junior- Spider-man. Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man who has probably saved your ungrateful arses at least once." 

Peter choked. "I didn't right that down!" 

"Yeah well f*ck you too." 

Gordon moved on, introducing everyone in a commedic fashion. Sam was one of the only ones to say f*ck you back, though Natasha gave him a very scary looking smile, and Clint told him that he'd stick one of his arrows where the sun don't shine. Thor laughed loudly and clapped him on the shoulder, and Wanda just rolled her eyes playfully. 

"Over here we have Vision- Hey, where's the robot?" Gordon asked, frowning as he found not to be there. 

Someone said something from behind the camera, not picked up completely by the camera. 

Gordon walked out of view, murmuring something to the producer, unaware the camera had followed them off set. 

Suddenly there was a high pitched scream and Vision ran out, screaming, as one of the camera men ran after him holding a picture of Gordon's face. 

The camera cut, and suddenly Vision was sitting on a chair in a different room, the camera focused on his face. 

"I suffer from Gordonphobia, it's, uh, rather serious, as Dr Banner says, but I'm doing my best to overcome it by, uh, having cooking lessons and getting better at cooking so that, uh, he doesn't call me an idiot sandwhich again." 

"Does it make your day to day life hard?" The person behind the camera asked, as though interviewing him. 

A tear slipped down Vision's face, and he sniffed, wiping it away with one hand. 

"Yeah," He croaked, swallowing. "It- it's really, hard, you know? I can't even look at his face without- without feeling the urge to scream. And I hear it, I hear it everytime I see him- 'idiot sandwich' or 'effing disgusting' or 'oh my god I'm going to vomit.' That's- that's what nightmares are made of, that is." 

The camera cut back to the competition, and Gordon was back in the middle, camera trained on him. Vision looked like he had swallowed a frog as he stared into an endless void nearby. 

"And now what they're going to cook- dun dun dun!" The camera panned onto a table with a dome lid. One of the other judges lifted the lid, revealing a vanilla cake with beautiful decorations that were extravagant and complicated. Unlike the other times the Avengers were competeing against one another for their horrifying cooking skills, this time, they had to recreate someone else's masterpiece. 

"A soft, fluffy vanilla cake, with smooth Italian meringue buttercream icing and five piped swirl on the top, as well as a band of sprinkles along the bottom and the top, with a couple in between." 

The camera changed to Spider-Man, sitting in the same seat as Vision had earlier. 

"He's describing the cake, and honestly the only thing I was thinking about was how much I wanted to eat it." 

It changed again, and this time Tony was sitting in the chair, leaning back with an arrogant grin. 

"It sounded hard, but I've got this in the bag. I'm not that bad of a cook, I'm better than Vis at least." 

The camera changed again, and this time it was on Vision once again. 

"He's describing the cake and immediately I know I'm going to die. I don't- I don't know how to do these sorts of things." 

The camera came back on the contestants, all standing nervously. 

"You have three hours. Your time starts- now!" 

Immediately, Peter uses a web to fling himself into the room of food, tripping over his feet slightly as he looks at all the ingredients. They aren't given a recipe, so they have to figure it out on their own. 

Wanda, Sam, Bucky and Steve also run, and Natasha trips Clint as she passes. Vision is slightly confused as to why everyone's going so fast, and Tony's leisurely walking in, glancing at random products and dumping them into his basket. He ends up with three bags of flour, one bag of flour, a stick of butter, whipped cream, and a bunch of strawberries. 

Peter's the first out, turning on the oven and spraying his cake pans. He gets out a glass bowl and begins with the ingredients- two eggs, an estimated amount of butter, an estimated amount of plain flour, a teaspoon of baking powder, two cups of sugar, and a teaspoon of vanilla essence, as well as the other ingredients required for the cake. 

The camera cuts again, and Spider-Man is sitting in the interview chair again. 

"My tactic is estimating the amounts of most of the ingredients, because I know the rough ratios, and people don't tend to notice if you don't use exactly one and three quarters of a cup of flour. I wanted to get it finished as fast as possible, so that they can cook and cool in time, and I can decorate it." 

The camera went back to the competition, this time focused on Tony, who glances around to check nobody is watching, then empties a bottle of vodka into his cake batter. He smirks when nobody notices, putting random items into his batter and mixing it. 

Natasha and Clint, meanwhile, are having a bit of a rivalry. 

"Your cake batter is going to fail!" Clint yells at Natasha, mixing his as fast as he can, not noticing the batter sloshing over the edge. It's a very watery mixture. 

Natasha isn't even making a vanilla cake, she's adding different flavours instead, as well as several chocolate chips. There's even cocoa added at one point. 

Natasha rolls her eyes. "You keep telling yourself that Barton. You don't even know the difference between cows milk or goats milk." 

Clint pales and he puts the bowl down, lunging for the empty milk carton on the counter. He groans when he realises it says, quite clearly; goats milk. 

Bucky is doing relatively well, aggressively pouring his lumpy batter into the different pans. "If I fill them up a lot, then I won't have to do as many layers..." he muttered, shoving them into the ovens with such might a little bit of the cake mix fell to the bottom of the oven. 

Steve is doing the best so far, his perfect batter gently placed into the preheated oven. 

"Buck, your oven isn't on." Steve reminds him cheerfully, clearing his workspace. 

Bucky's eyes widen and he quickly turns it on, copying Steve and clearing his workspace. 

Thor is being treated by the medic. "-and that is why I always carry a spare sock with me." Thor boomed cheerfully, pulling his finger away as the medic finished bandaiding his cut. It was rather strange, seeing as baking a cake didn't require slamming an axe through a strange animal the size of a giraffe with six eyes and green blood. 

It was at this point Gordon Ramsay showed up, popping into the frame beside Thor. 

"What are you doing big guy?" 

"I am making the vanilla cake you require." Thor told him, throwing chunks of juicy, green meat into the mixture.

"Vanilla cake doesn't have alien meat in it." 

"Well mine does, doesn't it moron?" 

"Do you know the meaning of moron or are you just f*cking with me?" Gordon asked. 

"Hmm?" Thor asked, after a long pause. He's still putting the animal into the batter, as well as a couple of pieces of roughly chopped carrot. 

Gordon sighed. "Thor, you're supposed to be making a vanilla cake, and vanilla cake doesn't have meat or carrot in it." 

Thor frowned. "You didn't give me a recipe, therefore, I can change it how I like. It does have the vanilla in it." 

Gordon glanced down and noticed a dried vanilla bean sticking out. 

He sighed. "Alright fine, it better taste good." 

"It will!" Thor confirmed, beaming. 

The camera then went to Vision, who was currently copying Wanda (a great cook) with the ratios of flour (which was really actually icing sugar) and other ingredients. 

Bruce was the last for the camera to go to, though only for a few seconds since he was going pretty well. 

After yet another commercial break, the camera skipped to the time to pull the cakes out of the ovens. 

Peter was among the first, smiling as the skewer inserted in the middle came out clean. He put them on the stove to cool, and continued making the icing. 

The footage cut again to Spider-Man sitting in the chair, again. 

"I'm on time, doing great, but... I didn't know how to make the fancy icing, so I just made normal icing- icing sugar, a bit of softened butter and some water. Mix it together, and it makes nice but thick icing that's easily spreadable. It's probably a lot quicker than the other one."

After that there's a few clips of other people pulling their perfect cakes, such as Natasha, Bruce, Bucky, Steve or Wanda, until it got to the drama of the video. Clint pulled out his cake, only to find it wasn't ready yet. 

Swearing under his breath, Clint put them back in, anxiously rubbing his arm and glancing at the clock. Everyone else has already pulled out their cakes, Thor's burnt on the edges and Vision's very dry looking, Bucky's the last to come out before his as he had filled his cake a bit more than he was supposed to. 

It took another ten minutes before Clint's cakes were ready, and he immediately took them out of the pan- wincing as they completely fell apart, sticking to the bottom and sides of the pan, and got the pre prepared icing. 

Everyone else was already icing theirs, having placed them in the giant freezer to make them cool faster. Peter's had stuck to the bottom a bit, but the same had happened to most of them except for Bucky, Natasha and Steve. The others hadn't put baking paper on the bottom. 

This time Clint is in the chair, looking into the camera with a dead expression. "I go to get my cake out of the oven and- it's not ready. I'm starting to panic a whole ten minutes later when I finally take it out and it's finally ready. Everyone else is far ahead, so I don't have enough time to cool it. I have to win. I can't lose my fifty dollars Nat betted me." 

Sam swore quite a bit as the icing melted a little on his, for he hadn't cooled his for long enough. 

Thor wasn't put off by anything, not noticing that the meat in his cake was no where near cooked for long enough. 

A short time lapse later, the judges are counting down, Peter panting as he leans back, a lopsided cake in front of him, the icing put on with a knife instead of a bench scraper the chef used to smooth it out. 

Tony has a white cake with a few spots missing his liquidy icing, which dripped onto the counter. The sprinkles are mixed into the icing, the colour missing due to that, and not in the places it was supposed to be. There aren't any swirls like there's supposed to be, because his icing was more of a glaze. 

Clint's cake is missing both the swirls and the sprinkles, and he had put the icing on with his hands. There's a blob of white icing by his eyebrow, and he licked his fingers, eyes looking directly into the camera with his resting b*tch face. 

Natasha has a perfect chocolate cake with white Italian meringue buttercream icing, iced perfectly to hide the chocolate cake, the outside looking exactly like the demonstrated cake. 

Wanda's is pretty good, though the gap between the two cakes is evident and the top isn't straight, instead curved like a small dome. 

Visions icing is made with flour, so it's more like a dough messily stretched over the cake, that is green because he mistook the food colouring for vanilla essence and didn't have time to re-make the icing. The swirls looked like poos since he made them by hand, and the sprinkles are pressed into the dough. 

Sam's looks similar to Wanda's, but very chunky since he had to reassemble the bottoms of both cakes with icing. 

Steve's is almost perfect, and Bucky's has a hole on the middle where he got frustrated and punched it. At least he knew it tasted good though, nibbling it off his hand. 

Thor's looked like it had been through hell and back. The chunks of alien meat were very evident, as well as a couple peas, making the cake very lumpy. There was only icing on the top of the cake, sticky and messy, with cake crumbs mixed in. There is a pile of sprinkles on the top, falling off the sides by the sheer amount, and the swirls are really just blackened molding chocolate made into the shape of the piped swirls. 

The chair is back again, with Wanda. 

"Finally, the clock stops. I'm proud of what I made, but I'm not sure it'll be the winner." 

Next for the chair is Sam. 

"I've already lost it, but I'm really only here because Steve told me he would stop saying 'on your left' everytime he passes me when we run." 

After Sam is Steve. 

"I told Sam that if he comes I'll stop saying on your left everytime I pass him while running. He doesn't know I crossed my fingers, so he's going to be angry." 

After Steve is Peter again. He's beginning to think the author favours him or something.

"The baking is over and I'm really hungry." 

The camera changes again, and now it's zooming in on Peter crawling in the direction of the room of food. He comes back with a massive jar of lollies supposed to be used for decorating. He nibbles them as he stands back at his spot. 

The shot changes again, and now everyone is standing at their suddenly clean stations, with their cakes in front of them, hands behind their backs (except for Peter, mouth full of food, which he shares with Tony). 

The judges are standing dramatically at the front, with spotlights on them as the camera zooms in on them from a different angle. They sit down at their massive table, and Sam walks up wordlessly with his cake. 

They cut into it, and the camera zooms in on Sam's face- which looks like it doesn't care, watching them with a face that almost looks both dead and bored. 

The judges tell him it tastes pretty good, but the icing was very sweet. 

After Sam is Wanda, who looks slightly nervous until they tell her it tastes great, then it's Natasha. 

The judges eyebrows raise as they pull out a slice each, finding the inside to be brown. 

The take a bite each, then place down their forks and look at Natasha dramatically. 

"It's not f*cking vanilla cake." Gordon says. 

"Yes it is. It has vanilla extract in it, therefore it is vanilla cake." 

"It tastes like mint chocolate chip." One of the other judges says. 

"I know." 

Gordon sighs. 

Next is Peter, expression not seen due to his mask, though he bounces on the balls of his feet (some are unsure if that's due to the sugar rush he's currently having, or nerves). 

The judges decide it tastes good, then Bruce is up, then Steve. Their cakes are good. 

After them is Tony with his cake. 

"Enjoy my delicious vanilla cake." 

"This is disgusting." 

"My vanilla cake." 

"It doesn't even taste like vanilla. It tastes like alcohol." 

"Cake." 

"Is this even cake?" 

"Plate."

Clint walks up with his cake, and Gordon doesn't hide his grimace. 

"What happened?" Gordon asked, looking down at the mess. 

"I ran out of time." Clint replied, shrugging. 

"You ran out of dignity, that's what happened." Gordon said, slicing into the cake. 

They took one bite then dropped their forks. Gordon spit his into a napkin with a grimace. 

"That's disgusting." 

Clint scowled. "I put a lot of work into that-"

The camera cut abruptly, and Vision walked up with his cake. 

His hands shake as he brings it up, and he carefully places it down then moves away, petrified and refusing to look at his face. 

"Whoa, what the hell happened?" 

"I mistook the flour for icing sugar. And the food colouring for vanilla extract." 

"Food colouring is literally coloured, not to mention, everything is labeled. How did you mix them up?" Gordon asked incredulously. 

Vision shyly shrugged. 

Shaking his head, he cut into the cake and divied out slices, everyone taking a bite then immediately spitting it out. 

"What the f*ck?" Gordon exclaimed, gulping down water. "What the hell did you put in this?!"

The other judges look mildly sick. 

After Vision Bucky came, with the hole in his cake. 

"Did you get frustrated?" Gordon asked. 

Bucky didn't answer. 

"It's just a cake." 

Bucky grabbed a handful of cake and threw it at Gordon's face. 

Gordon closed his eyes as it slid down his face, the icing going on his suit. 

"Oh f*ck you." 

They tasted his cake, said it tasted fine, then finally, it was Thor. 

He looked very happy as they sliced into it, not noticing their dreaded looks, but his smile got turned upside down as they bit into it- slowly, for they weren't looking forward to it. 

He looked even more unhappy as some of the judges began vomiting, and Gordon began dry heaving, burping and covering his mouth, holding a glass of water. 

The shot changed again, and the judges were standing up, one holding their stomach and looking rather pale, and they stood dramatically once more. 

"And now, we will judge." 

After yet another pan of the camera, it was finally time to decide the winner. 

"In third place, is... Wanda Maximoff!" Everyone clapped and cheered and Wanda smiled brightly. 

"In second place... Steve Rogers!" Everyone cheered once again and Bucky hugged him. 

"And In first place is..." 

There was a drum roll. The camera focused on each remaining competitors faces. 

Gordon smiled and opened his mouth to say the winner and-

Your internet cut out. You never found out who it was.