The Avengers hid just out of sight, looking at the massive monster that took up most of the room in the small town. Helicopters were hovering from a safe distance, broadcasting the entire thing. 

"We're gonna need a distraction in order to surround it. It has an advantage right now." Steve said, peering around the corner cautiously. "Who's gonna do it?" 

Peter appeared out of nowhere, hands pushing Natasha and Bucky apart and popping up between them. 

"My time has come!" He declared, already in his Spider-Man suit and everything. 

"No. Absolutely not." Tony said, retracting his face plate. "How'd you even get here? I made sure specifically you were at home, and had Pepper watch you until the plane took off."

Peter chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. 

Flashback-

Peter clung to the bottom of the plane with his sticky hands and feet and super strength, panting both from tiredness of running after the jet and the absolutely terrifying feeling it was to be clinging to a plane. 

He knew it would take a long time to get there, and so slowly climbed to the top of the plane, where he wouldn't be upside down, and where gravity wouldn't be against him. 

"It, uh, doesn't matter," Peter replied, waving it off. "The point is, this monster is gonna destroy this town if we don't do something soon." 

Tony opened his mouth, about to tell Peter off, but Steve interupted him. 

"He's right Tony, we need a distraction now- and I doubt he'll get hurt, he has Spider senses and he can dodge things. He's a lot smaller and nimbler than the monster, and he can hold his own until we get there." 

Tony huffed. "If he gets hurt, it's on you, got it?" 

Steve nodded. 

Peter's face split into a grin from behind his mask and he straightened at the important task set for him. 

"Peter, make sure you distract it for at least five minutes. We'll add you to the comms." 

"Aye aye captain!" Peter replied, saluting him. "Oh this is gonna be fun!" 

With that, Peter jumped onto the wall and climbed up it, crawling around the corner on the wall in a spider-like manner. He got close to the monster then jumped off the wall, waving at it from the ground. 

"Hey! Stupid!" Peter yelled, picking up a pebble and pegging it at the thing. 

It stopped trying to swat helicopters and looked down. It seemed rather unperturbed to see Peter- so small compared to it! 

"Karen, play umbrella by Rihanna loud enough for the monster to hear it." 

"Of course Peter." 

The monster looked very confused as music began blasting through the town speakers, for it was obvious Karen had hacked into them. 

"What is he doing?" Steve murmured as everyone began silently getting into position. Natasha, meanwhile, thought it was a great idea- the music would both blur out the sound of their footsteps, and distract the monster. 

Peter began dancing to the music, using an umbrella he seemingly pulled out of knowhere. 

It certainly distracted the monster, not even bothering to try to attack him, for it's eyebrows were furrowed as it looked down at Peter like he was the weirdest thing it had ever seen. 

Tony, meanwhile, was having a heart attack, watching the live footage in his suit as they all got into position. It was strange seeing Peter doing a dance so flawlessly, with moves so... un-Peter, not as innocent as Tony remembered him. 

Everyone else was trying not to laugh. Clint was doing the worst job of it, his giggles stifled into tiny snorts pressed behind his hands. 

And those watching the news also saw it- Ned and MJ were laughing themselves hoarse, some were shocked, and some had already made memes about it. 

Eventually, the song came to an end, and the monster snapped out of it, grabbing lamp posts to throw at Peter. 

"Geez- I show you an entire dance routine and this is how you pay me? Rude." Peter said, catching it with ease and balancing it on the ground, balancing on the top like a jumping spider. 

"Time for operation... annoy." Peter mumbled, and he could hear the others immediate replies through the comms- 'no Peter don't you dare!' From Tony, and 'Please don't' from Wanda, Steve Natasha. Clint was still giggling like a school girl. 

"Karen play The Monster by Eminem and Rihanna." 

"Yes Peter." 

"Thanks... yah like this song big guy?" Peter yelled, once again gaining the attention of the monster as it fought to turn the music off somehow. "I have a joke- a man walks into a zoo, and the only animal in the zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu." 

The monster doesn't seem to get the joke, and Peter is rather upset as he ducks the things suddenly thrown at him. 

"Hey- dontcha get it? Sh*it- zoo? A shitzu is a type of dog!" Peter jumps out of the way just in time as a boulder comes out of knowhere. "Geez, Okay, I guess you have a different kind of sense of humour." 

Peter picks up the boulder and yeets it at the monster, hitting it in the eye.

"Ooh- Sorry mate, I was- god I have bad aim- you're supposed to catch it! That's the rules of catch yah know- it's literally in the name-" 

The boulder is flung back at him, and Peter catches it with ease, chucking it back and hitting him in the stomach. The monster stumbled backwards. 

"Okay, I have another joke for you. The lord said to John- Come fourth and you will recieve eternal life. But John came fifth, and won a toaster." 

Clint's loud giggles grew louder from the comms, and a few other people's stifled laughter was also heard. 

The monster wasn't impressed, evidently, for it attempted to grab Peter with it's hands. It turned out to be similar to trying to grab soap, for Peter easily dodged and ran up his arms, causing it to smack itself. 

"Woman only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor." Peter said, still coming up with jokes that really weren't that funny. 

"Okay, not that one either? You're a hard audience... oh I've got one! Two people were driving to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said- Disneyland left. They cried and drifted home." 

The monster growled and grabbed Peter's leg, only for his leg to immediately slip out of it's grip, Peter climbing up his massive face. 

"Okay okay! My friend and I always loved this joke- two atoms are walking along. One of them says- 'oh no, I think I lost an electron!' And the other says- 'are you sure?' And the first replies- 'yes I'm positive.'" 

This time, instead of Clint or Wanda's giggling, he hears several loud sighs, and the laughter of Bruce and Tony. 

"Okay, everyone's in position. Mission goodbye Monsters Inc is go." 

In seconds, Wanda and Vision came from behind the buildings behind the monster, swirling with magic. Clint stood up from the top of the building to the monster's left, and Tony appeared on it's right. Thor, Steve and Natasha came from the front, and Bruce turned into hulk, running from behind. 

Sam and Bucky flew in from diagonal, Sam holding Bucky in a careless manner, purposely scaring the cheese out of him. 

Peter jumps off the monster and onto the building, webbing it's hands up and covering it's eyes, and webbing it's feet together. It didn't do much- the monster could tear through it- though it did delay and distract it. 

Hulk smashed it's legs and made it fall and Wanda, Thor Vision used their powers to stop it from struggling. The others just continuously hit and shot at it until it died. 

It took quite a while, for it was rather tough, and it's skin was five times thicker than that of a rhinoceros.

They stopped once it appeared to be dead, panting slightly, muscles sore. 

"What do we do with it now?" Peter asked, handing Bruce some clothes as he began to shrink after Natasha's quiet words with him. 

"The authorities will do that. Shield'll pay for damage, and I'll donate money too."

Peter nodded, happily following everyone else to help the few people still trapped in the area. Most of them took photos with him and told him that his distraction techniques were hilarious- Peter was touched that they thought so. 

"So are we going home now?" Peter asked after Steve finished talking to the police about what had happened and such. 

"Yep," Tony said, clapping a hand on Peter's shoulder. "And you are going to explain how you snuck onto the plane, and where you learnt that dance, and why you thought it was a good idea to annoy the monster, thus putting yourself in danger." 

Peter's face paled beneath the mask. 

"Uh, on second thought-"

Tony's hand tightened on his shoulder, and Peter gulped. 

"You're not going anywhere Spider-Man."

Peter knew that was code for- you're so grounded. 

R.I.P Peter.