Peter was so nervous for what Tony called TTT. It was Team Trauma Training and it was mandatory for the live-in Avengers. So they all gathered in the calm down room and wait in a circle criss cross applesauce. Peter was next to Tony and Bucky. He knew Tony had his traumas, and he knew his demons paled in comparison to Bucky's so he just thought it was anxiety and tried his best to ignore it. Wanda sat in the middle of the circle, playing with her magic at her fingers.

"Okay, we want to ease Wanda into this so we don't like knock her out or something. Why don't we start with the one with the least trauma." Steve said. He looked around the circle. Tony, Peter, Bucky, Sam, Nat, Steve, and Rhodey. PTSD/Depression, (what the team knows in other words loss of parents at a young age), Kidnapped and Brainwasied, Lost his best friend and PTSD, Kidnapped and tortured, Woke up in an entirely different era, and PTSD. "I think that's Pete." Tony said.

Tony knew more of the trauma Peter went through then the rest of the team, but he still didn't know most of it, and most definitely not the worst of it. Peter didn't want to seem weak against his trauma, so he just smiled. "Sure! I just don't exactly know how this works. What happens to me?"

Wanda sent a soft smile his way. "Don't worry Peter. This exercise will plunge all of us into visions of your memory from the perspective of a bystander but you won't be with us. You'll just sort of wait. You can go on your phone if you want." Peter smiled back at her and opened his phone to text Ned.

(*0*) The Visions

The group was stationed at the edge of a living room. It was messy with papers. There was three people on the worn brown couch. Two adults, presumably Peter's parents. A six year old was lying down on the lap of Mary, asleep. Natasha recognized them as Agents of Shield. Richard was running his hand through the young Peter's hair. Tony notes that this was something he did with Peter a lot also. A phone rang. Richard detangles his hand from Peter's hair and answered the phone.

"Agent Parker." He paused. "Yes." He glanced at Peter and hesitated. "Yes." He looked at the ground and stayed silent for a few minutes. "My brother, most likely. You don't have to worry about Peter, Fury. He's going to be fine. God, I can't believe of all people, my kid made you go soft." Richard let out a small laugh. "Yeah, Yeah. We'll meet Agent Barton in Budapest tomorrow." Natasha's eyes went wide. That was where Clint had found and recruited her. Fury had been so open to having her because she would be a good ally, and they had just lost two good agents. She gasped and took a step back. This was them. Peter's parents were the reason she was an Avenger at all.

"Okay, so we've got a mission tomorrow. We're going to meet Barton in Budapest tomorrow. He insisted on taking a regular flight rather then a SHIELD plane. I said we'd take a jet. Ben and his new wife are open so they'll be the babysitter." He sunk back into the couch and put his hand right back into Peter's curls. Peter moves to snuggle up to his father.

"I'm staying with Uncle Benny again tomorrow?" He asked, yawning. Mary smiled and kissed his cheek. "Yeah, hunny. You are. We'll be back soon. Don't worry." Peter smiled drowsily and blinked. He began to fall asleep and the vision faded to another.

Peter was sitting in a bar stool swinging his legs while he drank apple juice from a soppy cup. A brown haired woman lifted him and placed him on her hip. She had clear tear tracks running down her face. "Hey Petey. Your going to be staying with us for a little while longer. That's cool, right?" Peter smiled brightly at her and nodded. "Uncle Ben is going to make sure your parents-" her voice cracked "are okay with that. He'll be home soon." He smiled wider. The vision faded out.

Now, Peter was older. He was 14 on an Oscorp field trip. "And here's the radioactive spider exhibit. There are fifteen spiders. They were designed for SHIELD by Richard Parker before his death eight years ago. He left his research to his co-conspiriator John Osborn." Ned knocked Peter's shoulder, then Harry's. "They'd both be really proud of you guys." He said, making them smile. Peter put an arm around Gwen and kissed her cheek. "Isn't there supposed to be fifteen spiders?" Betty asked, pointing at the display that housed fourteen spiders with different patterns on them, all red and blue. The guide waved them off. "Someone probably took one out for testing." Peter and his friends continued their conversation and Peter felt an itch on his hand. He looked and saw a red and blue spider crawling off his hand. His vision went blurry and he stumbled. The spider jumped away and Peter blacked out. The vision shifted.

Peter was sitting in a bathroom, clutching his knees to his chest and rocking. "No. No. No. No.  No. No. No stop." He was crying. There was a knock on the door and he whimpered. "You good in there Pete?" Ben said, his voice soft and barely audible. Peter whimpered again. "Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine Ben. I have a really big headache though so could you and May keep it down? Thanks." Peter sprawled out on the floor. Wanda looked tired, but the team figured that was the last of the trauma. Surely, this bubbly, happy kid couldn't have much more trauma than that.

bOy WeRe ThEy WrOnG (if yk yk)

The vision changed to Peter in an alleyway with Ben. They both had their hands up and a robber was in front of them with a gun. "Give me more now!" The man said, holding a watch and a wad of cash. "We don't have anymore!" Ben said. A gun went off and suddenly Peter was cradling Ben in his arms. Blood was pouring out of Bens arm.

"BEN!" Peter screamed as he cradled him. Peter wailed openly as he could hear Bens heartbeat grow fainter. "Peter. Peter." Thy grasped each other's hands. Ben looked wistful and calm. Peter looked grief stricken and in shock. "Peter. With great power, comes great responsibility. Please. Live your life happily. Don't waste your life in memory of mine." Ben's eyes went glassy and Peter wailed loudly again.

The vision changed. Peter was at the top of a building with the girl from his Oscorp trip, Gwen. She was in the arms of the boy from that trip, Harry but he didn't look well. "You did this to yourself, Peter. I truly am sorry Gwen." He dropped her. Peter let out a cry and began to punch Harry. He threw Harry a web bomb and Hart began to fall within a layer of webbing that would keep him from death on landing. Peter ran down and tried to swing to be faster. He finally thwipped a web at Gwen, but it caught her just a moment too late. Peter landed on the ground next to his girlfriend, her heartbeat flat. He wailed over her.

The vision shifted again to Peter fighting Vision and getting dropped in a lake. Then Tony yelling at him. Then the ferry. Then Tony yelling at him. Then Tony taking the suit. Then him and Toomes in the car. Then the building scene. Then the plane scene. Then the vision shifted to Peter on patrol.

He was swinging down the street when a siren cut through the peace. He swung in that direction and saw an apartment building in rubble and flames. Specifically his apartment building in rubble and flames. Peter ran in and got everyone out. "Is everyone okay?" He called. He did a head count and realized one person was missing. "May." He whispered. Peter ran back in and was barely able to lift a piece of rubble off her in time for her to see him. "Peter. Hey. I love you." She whispered to him. Her eyes glazed over and her heartbeat went out. He cried out in agony and pulled her close to him. He pulled her corpse from the building, weeping under the mask. When the EMTs had her, he immediately swung away and perched on a nearby building. "Karen, Call Tony." "Calling Tony."

"Hey kid! You coming over tonight?" Tony's voice was full of cheer. "Uh, Yeah. Tony, May. May. May is gone. It was an apartment fire. I was there. I didn't save her in time. It's my fault." He began chanting the last line like a mantra until Tony cut through his chants. "No it isn't. You couldn't have done anything but your best. So come over to the tower and I'll handle the CPS people. You're staying with me from now on."

They were then sent into a montage of Peter failing to save people or messing up with something and Someone yelling at him. Then suddenly, half way through a vision, they were all in the calm down room, bawling their eyes out. Wanda was sprawled out on the floor unconscious. It was too much for her first time.

Peter was texting his friend, smiling. "Oh! Hey guys. How was my mem- oh my God, Wanda!" He ran to her and checked her pulse. He let out a sigh of relief. Her began to lift her and bring her over to a small section of the room for post-change Bruce. It was a comfortable chair and waters. Peter took a cloth and poured some cold water on it. He put it on her head and then came back over to the group. "So, how was my memories?" Everyone began to dogpile a hug on him.

"How do you deal with it?" Tony asked, still crying. "I didn't even know most of it. Some of it's my fault. The building, if you had your real suit Karen could've called me. I could've helped you."

Peter's smile fell a little. "Nope! I won't hear it. You wouldn't let me blame myself for Mays death where I at least had a valid reason to view it the way I was and you don't. I will not let you do that. It's not you, it's Toomes."

Peter smiled and then sat back down, cross legged on the floor. "Okay, so I've decided that we aren't doing this thin anymore. Sit down. We are going old school. No magic: let's talk about our feelings. Sit down." Everyone sat down around him.

"Okay, Tony. You start."