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Could've Been (IW SPOILERS)

Request: If it's no problem; can get numbers 35&58 with Peter Parker? Just a normal x reader is fine. I'm new to this so I apologise for any confusion. Thanks, love. ❤

A/N: This contains Infinity War spoilers so if you haven't seen the film, don't read! Italics are flashbacks.

Your rooftop. It's your favorite place.

Correction: Was your favorite place.

You met Peter on your rooftop. The two of you lived in the same apartment building but you'd moved in only a week before you met him. You found comfort on the roof. There was something about being able to look over that part of Queens, it was calming in a way. Just you and the city lights, sometimes you could see the stars but most nights you couldn't. It was just peaceful and you'd find yourself reading or just scrolling through social media. You loved it, really you did.

But what you didn't know was that Peter loved the roof just as much. It was a way for him to be home without actually being home and he had this thing with talking to the sky. It took only a week for the two of you to run into each other. You overheard him talking. You thought he was on the phone at first but the closer you got, the more you saw of him just laying with his hands behind his head.

You'd startled him but you were quick to laugh it off. You of all people understood and you two became friends immediately, meeting on the roof nearly every single night, some nights way later than you'd liked and it only took a few months for you to find out he was Spider-Man. He couldn't scare his aunt again and come home bloody so he asked you. You weren't too fond of the blood or him being hurt but you never questioned it, never went against helping. You just did. You met May and she worried about Peter, of course, once finding out his alter ego, you understood her worry. But, that didn't make a difference to you. He was still Peter Parker.

It wasn't long after that Peter found the small bit of courage in him to ask you out. It was a stuttered mess but you understood and he took you on a date to the movies and for a cheap dinner. It was one of the best days you'd ever had. But, through all of that, your best times were spent talking on your roof. Your roof, the roof you shared with the brown-haired boy with the red and blue secret, that's supposed to be your safe haven. 

And it's not anymore. It's a sick reminder of what could have been,

It's just you, alone. No one else. Not Peter, no one. That's how it was going to be from now on. Just you.

You paced around the roof as your hands balled up in fists, nails digging into your palms as your eyes burned. Your heart pounded against your ribs and all you could hear was the blood rushing through your ears, unsure if you were pissed off or fucking devastated.

You told him not to go. You told him it was dangerous. He promised he'd be okay. It was no big deal. If it were a big deal, Mr. Stark would be there. It wasn't supposed to be that bad and you begged him to stay for you. You begged him before Ned made a distraction and he hopped out of that damn bus window. You were supposed to be a school trip and he went to fucking space.

You let out a scream that quickly turned into a soul-crushing sob. You look at the sky and just started shouting.

"I broke my rules for you, Peter Parker! You promised it would be okay! You promised you'd be right back! You fucking promised me and now what? You're gone. You don't get to leave and not say goodbye! This isn't fair! You don't get a funeral! There's nothing left because there's fucking body! This isn't fair, Peter! I hate you so much." Your words were only coherent to you. If someone were to have overheard you, it would have just been mumbled sobs as your heart clenched and throat closed.

May broke the news to you.

You were at home, worried out of your mind. People just...disappeared. You were surrounded by a ton of people, just hiding out and waiting for the Avengers or anyone to come to the rescue but then...they just started disappearing. Turning to ash and they were just gone.

Once people were turning to ash, it was safe enough to come out of hiding but when you did, your parents and you seemed to be one of the only united families left. Kids were screaming in the streets for their parents. Parents were clutching ashes in their hands of their dead children. Whatever happened, it was unreal.

Nevertheless, you were sure Peter was okay because he's Spider-Man and Spider-Man can't die.

But he did.

May came over and her eyes were so bloodshot there wasn't a single speck of white left and you knew. You knew by the look on her face and she explained it to you the same way Tony explained it to her. They were close but not close enough. One minute he was there and the next, he was gone. May told you that Peter was brave in the time it took for him to go but you know Peter and May knows...knew Peter. Without a word, you both knew that was a lie. Peter was brave but the last thing Peter ever wanted was to die. He wanted to protect but not die. Tony was saying what he thought would help May.

It didn't.

When she left, you heard her sob outside of your door on her way back to her apartment. Your sobs followed right after. The thought of Peter just turning to ash and being lost in the wind. It wasn't supposed to go that way and now you're stuck standing on this rooftop, the spot you two shared, questioning what you're supposed to do now.

"You said," You start screaming at the sky again with a cascade of tears. "You said you saw a future with us and you made me believe it! You made me believe you, Peter Parker! You said you thought we could make it. How the hell are we supposed to make it if you're dead?" The last word leaves your mouth with a quivering lip as your knees give out and you kneel on the pavement of the roof. "You promised." Your words are whispered as you bury your head in your hands, remembering the afternoon before your school trip, the afternoon before Peter went off to fight a war he would never return home from.

~~~~~

Peter's arms are wrapped around you, holding you close while your head is on his chest. Peter's hand runs through your hair as a soft smile in on your lips, happy to be with him. He's perfect in every aspect of the word even his lame jokes are perfect. But, you're both young and just because someone seems perfect for you now, doesn't mean they'll be perfect for you in a year or two or even in a few months. Yet, you found yourself hoping that he would be. And you would be for him. You could be perfect together.

You pick your head up and look at him. His eyes are soft but holding a small touch of curiosity.

"Do you think about us?" You ask bluntly, adjusting so your forearm is against his chest, holding yourself up.

"L-like...what do you mean?" Peter furrows his brows as his hand is on your back, lightly rubbing circles.

"Ya know..." You feel heat rise to your face with embarrassment, slightly regretting the conversation. "Like...if we'll make it."

"Of course." Peter says without any hesitation.

"Really?" You quirk a brow.

"Yeah, yeah." Peter nods. "I, uh, I never felt the way I do for you. We can make it."

You sigh softly, looking down for a few seconds. You adored him so much your heart actually aches for him but there was doubt. You hoped that your doubt was just you afraid of getting your hopes up for some inevitable high school break up you'll be telling your friend about for years. The one people always tell. The one that fucks them up. That's what you were afraid of, always.

"Do you?" Peter asks.

"I-I don't know..." You say, stumbling for words.

Peter's face drops but only a little bit. "What? Don't you believe in soulmates?"

"You're so cheesy!" You giggle making Peter laugh.

"It's okay if you don't. I get it." Peter shakes his head but his smile remains.

"I do." You admit. "I just...ya know...we're young and I don't want to get hurt and that's kind of what tends to happen."

"I'd never hurt you." Peter says immediately.

"I know you wouldn't on purpose." Your eyes widen with your words. "You're just kind of the first boy that...ya know...I've really dated."

"I know." Peter nods. "You, uh, you said before you don't date."

"Yeah, but I'm dating you because I like you a lot....like more than anyone and I don't know. It's scary." You look away, now wanting the conversation to just come to a stop.

"I promise," Peter says. "I won't hurt you." Peter pulls you closer to him and pecks your nose.

"Better not, Parker." You smile softly, placing a gentle kiss on his lips before resuming your position on his chest, your attention on the movie you two had picked out.

Peter's voice comes to a soft whisper, his lips gracing the top of your head. "We'll make it. I promise."

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