Fuck. Shit. Hell no. Damnit.

WHY

The singular piece of paper in his hand stated in bold print, " FIELD TRIP TO AVENGERS TOWER TOMORROW!"
AKA, where peter lived, ate, slept, and trained.
His own house.
His dad would most likely laugh his head off at Pyotr's situation.

Ned, on the other hand, was ecstatic. He looked like he had just been named #1 science geek. He was vibrating in his chair.

"DUDE! We're going to the Avengers Tower!" Ned almost shrieked. "Where the Avengers live!"

Peter gave him an exasperated look, wanting to scream I live there! But Tony said it was confidential. So therefore, Peter (Who's real name was Pyotr, by the way.) was forced to hide the fact that 1. he lived in Avengers tower, and 2. his father was an ex-HYDRA assasin.

Peter let his head clunk against the desk. A groan slipped out of his mouth. MJ smirked down on him. He was 99.99% sure she new something she wasn't supposed to. At least Shuri would be coming to the tower tonight. He hadn't seen her in forever. She was fun to geek out with. Last time they had created fully-functioning lightsabers.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of school, Peter picked up his bag and headed towards the door. Before he could escape, Flash appeared at the door. He put his arms out to clumsily block the doorway.

"Hey, Penis, you excited for the trip? They're gonna make me an intern the second I walk in. You're gonna be thrown out, I'm predicting. Ya'know, waste of space and that."

Peter just gave Flash a blank look. If he really wanted to, he could kill Flah with his little toe. Sadly, he couldn't do that. Pushing forcefully past him, he speedwalked down the hall, ignoring the calls of Penis, where are you going? and I'm not done with you.

Sliding down the outside stairs, Peter headed to his car, a dark silver Audi R8. Peter and his dad had tried to get something less out-there. But this was Tony. He was a Stark. His middle name was practically out-there.

Turning on the ignition, he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

********

Pulling into the private garage, Peter parked his car, before moving into the elevator, to floor 96. He exited the elevator to see Clint and Sam engaging in a mario cart battle, and his папа and мама on another couch, watching the two grown men bicker over a video game.

Shucking his backpack by the door, he slunk over to his parents. He got to the edge of the couch, before turning around and flopping down on both their laps. The two ex-assasins just smiled at his antics. Natasha pushed a hand though his ever-growing mess of hair. He would have to cut it soon. Before anyone could say anything, he waved the devil-paper in their faces. Clint snatched it out of his hands and promptly fell on the floor laughing.

"You- you've got a field trip to your owN HOME!" He cackled. Peter swatted a hand at him.

This was gonna go terribly.

**********

To say Peter was masking his internal panic was 100% true. The rest of the team had heard about his field trip. They had only said they wouldn't embarrass him because his parents were the scariest people on the team.

So there he was, sitting on an uncomfortably-sticky plastic bus seat, on the way to a field trip at his own house. Flash was sitting right behind him, so his spidey-sense was going haywire. When they pulled up to the Tower, Flash pushed him back into his seat to get out first. If he really wanted to, Flash could be dead. Peter reminded himself.

Gettiing off the bus and into the tower, Peter spied his favorite receptionist, Esme. She saw him and gave him an oh, you fucked up smirk. Peter discreetly flipped her off. It just caused her to snort and hide a smile behind her computer. An intern walked out of the normal elevator, holding a tablet. Peter knew him very well from working with him over the years, and they were good friends. His name was Aslan, and he was from Kazakhstan. He was also gay, and many of the interns and Peter had a running plot to get him together with another intern, Harry.

Alsan saw him and immediatley had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. Peter was unamused. Aslan composed himself and stepped forward, making his prescence known.

"Hey everyone! I'm your tour guide, Aslan. Please come over here to get your visitor's badge."

Flash pushed everyone out of the way, puffing up his chest and striding forwards. When he reached Aslan, however, Aslan ignored him and passed a badge to the girl behind him. Flash's face became a unique shade of puce, mixed with bright red. Aslan just finished passing out badges, Flash being the last one to get it. Peter just pulled out his personal badge. Alsan directed them to the scanners.

"Now, there are multiple levels of badges. It goes from white 1, being the lowest, to Gold 10. I'm not going to explain most of them, but the Lowest levels, White 1-4, are fore tours and press, and the Highest levels, Gold 9-10 are for the avengers. Tony Stark, however, has the only existing Platinum badge, due to him owning all of SI. Please walk through the scanner and swipe your card."

Everyone went through, a monotone voice said their name and badge rank. When it was Peter's turn, he swallowed, stepped forwards, and scanned his badge. The monotone voice dissapeared. FRIDAY's voice came through.

Pyotr Romanov Barnes, Gold 10, Resident, Underoos, Маленький паук. Welcome home Pyotr, I hope you enjoy your field trip. The team has been notified of your entrance.

Peter just walked through the scanner emotionlessley. He was about to join the group when FRIDAY spoke up again.

Peter, Boss would like you to know that he wants to donate Spid-E to a community college, quoting him 'F-ing Kingsbourough, 'cuz he put anti-freeze in my coffee'.

Peter just turned to the ceiling before smirking. "FRI, tell him to remeber what they said last night."

Boss has said he will no longer send Spid-E to Kingsbourough Community College.

Peter nodded. "Good." Turning back to his class, he noticed their awed faces. Ignoring them, he turned to Aslan. "Please continue"

Alsan herded them into the elevator. "This way please." He brought them to floor 85, the Avengers meuseum. Everyone rushed to see their favorite heroes. Peter lingered behind. Flash immediatley crowded into his space.

"How'd ya do it, Penis? How much did you pay, huh?"

Peter had had enough. He stood right in Flash's face, straightening to his full height of 6 feet.

"Знаешь, я могу убить тебя более чем двадцатью способами с твоим шнурком. Я бы даже не моргнул." (You know, I could kill you in over twenty ways with your shoelace. I wouldn't even blink.)

Flash blinked confusedly. "What did you just say?"

Peter smiled scarily. Nothing you need to know, He thought.

A loud clanking could be heard in the vents above them. Every member of the class looked a little scared, until Hawkeye dropped out of the biggest vent. Landing somewhat gracefull on the ground. He smirked directly at Peter before continuing to greet everyone. Peter wasn't amused. After Hawkeye had finished his rounds, he spotted Peter. Peter looked him dead in the eye, and sliced his thumb against his throat. Clint ignored the death threat and exclaimed loudly "There's Pete!" Peter glared at him.

"What do you want?" He snapped. His class looked appalled at the fact that he was talking back to an Avenger. Ned was sweating bullets. Clint wasn't phased. This happened every once and awhile.

"All I wanna do is say hi to one of my nephhh- nice friends here!" Clint whined.

Peter crossed his arms and scarlily grinned at him, looking like a psycopath murderer rather than a teen. "Îți amintești ce a spus tata aseară?" (Do you remember what dad said last night?)

Clint gulped. He began to sweat a little, and turned nervously to the class. "U-u-m, I'll, I'll, be going now!" He turned and fled. The class turned to Peter. Before anything could really, happen, Aslan butted in.

"O-Okay then! Let's continue on to the cafe. We'll be having lunch there!"

Peter followed his class, however, a text stopped him. He pulled out his phone to read it.

Come upstairs. Your мама made shakshouka.

Peter pocketed his phone, and slipped into the nearest elevator. He swiped his card, and FRIDAY took him up to floor 95. He came to see the entire team sitting in the formal dining room for when senators, government leaders, millitary officials, or out-of-town visitors came. There weren't any dignitaries there, so Peter just shrugged it off and sat in his usual chair. His мама placed a plate of steaming shakshouka in front of him, with an egg and feta cheese on top. She took her place on his right, with his папа on his left. Tony gestured to all of them to dig in. Peter noticed four empty chairs. He just ate his food instead of thinking into it too deeply. When he was halfway done, the elevator dinged, and out came T'Challa, Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia. Shuri jumped on him and stole his plate. Peter just sighed and gave her the I'm watching you look.

This was gonna be greaaaaaat.