CHAPTER 25
STAY ALIVE

JOHANNA was raving as the whole team traveled back to the Training Center. She absolutely could not believe District Twelve dropped a baby bomb. Haymitch had never even hinted at it during a meeting with the other mentors, leaving Johanna to assume that it wasn't planned, that Peeta made it up all on his own. "Clever bastard," she said as they entered their living quarters.

"It won't cancel the Games, though," Phoenix added, glancing at his two Victors, who hesitated warily near the elevator. "Try as they may, the Capitol will not relent so easily."

And he was right. They were informed an hour later that the Games were still on.

Bex hardly slept for the rest of the night. She tossed and turned within the sheets, anxiety welling up in her chest. It felt like heartburn. Her heart thudded against her ribcage, throbbing with every pulse. Bex tried to calm herself by breathing deeply. When that didn't work, she tried counting sheep again. And when that also didn't work, she decided to just lie there, listening to her own heartbeat, watching the moon reflect it's glow onto her ceiling.

Tomorrow, she wouldn't be able to run from her responsibilities anymore. She had to protect Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay, for a rebellion she hardly knew anything about. She had to pretend like she wasn't dying inside. She had to convince everyone that she was in love with Finnick Odair. That certainly wasn't the hardest part of her plan – especially when she remembered the way he held her in her living room – but that Finnick was gone now and she had to learn to love the persona the Capitol loved. The persona she despised.

What would happen once they entered the arena? Would she have to kill him? Bex shivered at the thought, and the District Seven wedding song repeated in her head all over again.

Bex looked over at the clock. Three AM. There was absolutely no point of staying in this bed if she weren't going to sleep. She slid to the edge of the mattress and shoved on her fluffy slippers. After grabbing her silk robe hanging on the door, Bex padded into the hallway connecting all their rooms. She walked across to Nico's room, cracking it open the slightest bit, and saw his back facing her. He looked like he was snoring, but she didn't know for sure. It was probably best not to disturb him, no matter how much she wanted to. She closed the door and continued down the hall.

Something clattered on the floor up ahead.

Bex's breath hitched. She cautiously walked forward, hiding in the shadows of the hallway, as she approached the foyer of their living quarters. Her steps were lighter than air.

It was nothing to worry about. Just a simple Avox – no, it was Angelo.

A silver platter had slipped from his grip, colliding with the ground. He had been cleaning the dining table. Bex watched him in the cover of darkness, wiping the sleep away from her eyes. He used to smile so much, but none of that lightness was left in him. Still, his dimples weren't hard to spot. Except this time, Bex felt nothing when she noticed them, and she hated herself for it.

She hated herself for never giving Angelo a chance before it was too late. She hated that the butterflies that once infiltrated her stomach whenever he was around have disappeared completely. But most of all, Bex hated herself that she got him into this. He was here because of her.

As he reached over to pluck the dirty glasses from the table, Bex stepped out into the foyer, wringing her hands out. He didn't notice her and continued with his duties. And then, her brash voice filled the room, "Angelo ..."

His head snapped up immediately. He almost dropped the silver platter all over again, but she ran over and caught it before it met the floor. Straightening her back, she handed it back to him, a soft smile on her lips, one he didn't return. He turned back to the table and continued his work. Did he expect her to just go away? She couldn't; her feet were frozen, planted in place.

"Angelo," she called, looking to her shaking hands, "what happened?"

She realized that her words might be insensitive after they came out of her mouth. But she asked on instinct. She had to know.

Angelo halted his movements, steadying himself on the table.

"They arrested you, didn't they? All the Peacekeepers?" She continued. "Snow found you and came for you."

He faced her, but still didn't look into her eyes. He motioned to his mouth.

Bex understood, "The Peacekeepers cut your tongue." If Snow couldn't have hers, he took Angelo's instead, knowing it would hurt twice as much.

"What about your mom?" She asked further. "What happened to her?"

Angelo didn't move. No indication of a response. Dead. His mother was dead.

Bex held his face in her tiny hands, and their eyes finally met. His hazel eyes had once been so lively and vivid, and now they were just as dead as his mom. His jaw clenched, wanting to back away, but Bex held him firmly. She didn't realize a tear had slipped down her cheek until she felt it on her chin, dripping on Angelo's dress shirt.

"Angelo ..." She shook her head, trailing off. Angelo's whole body tensed, as if he was struggling with someone within himself. Bex wondered if the Capitol tried programming him to ignore her, to be repulsed by her. But she was going to make him stay here, whether he liked it or not.

"Angelo, I'm so sorry," she whispered, thumbs brushing over his sunken-in cheekbones. "This is all my fault. They hurt you to hurt me. I disobeyed the Capitol. I back-talked Snow, but they took it all out on you, because you were important to me. I know you can never forgive me, but ..." Sobs racked her entire body, leaving her to tremble. Bex sniffled loudly. "But I'm sorry. I couldn't be anymore sorry."

And just like, his eyes softened. His body wasn't as rigid. Some part of him was still in there, and she somehow triggered it. After a moment, Angelo slowly lifted his hand and rubbed away a single tear from her cheek.

He twitched. Bex's hands slipped to his cheek, and Angelo hesitantly reached inside his ear and pulled out a tiny, black chip. As he held it up to the light, Bex could see it clearer. It was a mic. The Capitol was always listening, even in their living quarters.

She swallowed hard, but before she could take it from his hands, Angelo placed it on the dining table and rammed his fist onto it. The mic crumbled into several pieces, sparks erupting at the impact.

Silence echoed between them, before they finally turned back to each other. Bex placed her hands on his shoulders. She searched his eyes, looking for any semblance of who he used to be inside them. Only a ghost stared back.

"I'm going to end them all," she promised, her voice a mere whisper. "Anyone who gets in my way, they're dead. Tributes, the Capitol, even Snow. I can't rest until he gets what's coming for him. What happened to you will not go down in vain. He is going to pay for every last tongue he cut, and every last life he took."

Angelo nodded.

Her grip went tight as she added, "I promise you that."

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Bex was shaken awake by Iliana as the first rays of sun peeked through her curtains. She groaned, but got up willingly. After being tired for so long, Bex got used to the feeling. It wasn't a struggle to stand from the cloud-like mattress, rubbing away the small amount of sleep from her eyes.

They didn't speak as Iliana dressed her in this year's tribute uniform. It was a lightweight wet suit. Long sleeves hooked around her index fingers and the pants came up to her knees. She was also given a pair of liquid-resistant boots that covered the rest of her legs. Her hair was swept up into a high ponytail. Iliana slid a brown leather jacket over her shoulders and turned Bex around. Smoothing out the creases in the leather, she murmured, "For the ride over. To keep you warm."

As they made their way down the elevator to, heading for the lobby, Bex looked down at her hand. Her mother's wedding ring was still snug on her finger. Iliana hadn't asked her to take it off.

They were silent the whole ride down, even as they walked out of the Training Center, where a large hovercraft was waiting for them. Nico and Phoenix lingered by the walkway, allowing Iliana and Bex to enter the hovercraft first. Bex felt nauseous as she walked up the ramp, meeting Nico's eyes. Bags resided under them, a matching set to her own. He hadn't slept last night either.

When the four took their seats inside the hovercraft, two masked Peacekeepers came out from the front, holding long syringes. Bex didn't miss the sight of them, or the feeling of the tracker sliding underneath her skin, resting underneath a thin layer of flesh. She held out her arm and winced as the needle pierced her skin. It was over in a matter of seconds, but the sensation of the tracker remained ever-present. She could see a small light emit from underneath.

It didn't take long to get to the arena, what with the hovercraft's impressive speed. Once they landed on a large cement field, Bex walked off the hovercraft and took in the sight of a dark building in front of them, unfamiliar to her. She had no idea where they were or where they were headed. After watching the Games for so long and knowing each piece of it, she almost forgot how much these tributes were left in the dark.

The team walked through a set of double doors and met in the middle of a steel-covered room. Nico and Bex looked at each other and swallowed hard. Iliana and Phoenix, on the other hand, shared a tight hug, whispering compliments in each other's ears. Like, "You did great this year," and, "I'm proud of our team." After they separated, Iliana reached out and took Nico's hand.

"You're coming with me," she said, whisking him off in one direction. Both ends of the rooms were marked by hallways that looked very similar to tunnels.

As they walked away, panic seemed to shoot through Bex's body. Phoenix put a hand on her shoulder and began to lead her in the opposite tunnel. She felt safer in Phoenix's presence, but that didn't mean her fingers didn't stop twitching. She looked over her shoulder and met Nico's eyes before allowing the shadows to envelop her.

The hallway was long and empty. Bex could hear water dripping every so often. Enough to irritate her. Phoenix stopped at a room with her District number painted on the front and allowed her to walk in first. As she strode deeper inside the room, Bex was graced with the familiar tube that brought her up to the arena. The first time she got inside of it, she had been trembling so much that she hardly even moved off the pedestal. Not even Phoenix's advice could calm down her nerves. She hoped there wouldn't be a repeat of that.

When she turned, Phoenix was right in front of her, helping her shrug off her jacket. He slung it across his arm and tugged at her sleeves, which Bex now noticed could be detached. "Iliana said this suit is incredibly light for a reason. No thermal lining. The arena must be tropics or a desert –"

"Sixty seconds to launch," an automated voice belted from the speakers.

Bex sucked in a deep breath. She chewed on her bottom lip so hard that she tasted blood. Noticing her shaking, Phoenix put his hands on her shoulders. "Bex, are you –"

"What if I can't do this?" She asked, voice trembling. She tucked a few stray hairs out of her eyes. "I have ... so much riding on this. My brother needs to be safe. My District is crumbling. So many people are expecting things of me –"

She was so close to spilling all her secrets. So close to revealing the truth to Phoenix, but his mouth was opening before she could continue.

Soon he would know. The rebellion was coming with their own Head Gamemaker at the head of it. Snow wouldn't know what was coming for him. Bex didn't have any attachments to the people of the Capitol, but her team ... they were different, and she silently hoped they could be saved.

Perhaps, she was attached to some Capitol people after all.

"You'll do the best you can, and Johanna and I ... we'll do the best we can for you," Phoenix replied, silencing her thoughts.

Bex nodded. Her mouth felt like it had been glued together.

Phoenix's grip on her shoulder went tight for a short second, and he released a shuddering exhale, "I don't know what will happen with Nico. I believe in you both, I truly do. But you're going to try your damnedest. I know that. You're a survivor. You always have been." Phoenix then grasped her hands and lifted them. His thumbs smoothed over her knuckles as the thirty-second warning echoed around the room. He noticed the ring still sitting securely on her left hand, ran a finger over the emerald, and then smiled up at her. "I've known that since the day I met you."

Her eyes stung. Tears gathered in the corners, but she wiped them away before they could fall. "Thank you," she muttered, squeezing his hands.

Phoenix bowed his head, and Bex was suddenly eyeing the white roses embroidered on the lapels of his green suit. She licked her lips.

He noticed her staring. Phoenix pursed his lips, whispering before he could stop himself. "You should know ..." Their eyes met again, and Bex froze in place. Phoenix leaned into her ear. He should not be saying the next words that were going to come out of his mouth, but they only had seconds left. And he needed to. Now was the only time.

"I don't know when we will meet again, but you have to know ..." His voice was barely above a whisper, "The white roses weren't just to connect you to Snow, or to present you as the Flower Girl. Iliana was intentional. They were always a promise to the public. A promise of revenge."

Bex blinked twice, not knowing what to make of this information. She didn't expect Phoenix to tell her this in their last moments together, and she certainly didn't expect Iliana to be against the place she seemed to love most. None of it made sense, but maybe it was something she should've seen all along.

Reaching out, Bex hugged him tightly. The embrace didn't last long, because she finally noticed the clock ticking down. There were fourteen seconds left. Her breath hitched, coming out uneven, as she quickly leaned back from Phoenix. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he said, "Stay alive, Flower Girl."

"Ten seconds to launch."

Bex slid out of his hold and faced the glass tube. Her brows knitted together, and she took one step inside. The tube closed around her, blue light sliding down from the top to scan her whole body. Bex's bottom lip quivered and she turned to face Phoenix again, nails digging into her palms.

"Five seconds to launch."

Phoenix pressed his hand on the glass, and Bex didn't hesitate to do the same. His voice was muffled as he said, "Use your petals for armor."

She felt like the tube was closing in on her. All she wanted was to be let out, but not in the way the Capitol planned.

The tube began to ascend, and Bex's hyperventilating became worse. Her hand slipped away from Phoenix's. He watched her with a mixture of worry and pride.

Up, up, and up. Darkness surrounded her on all sides, but then she was shrouded in light. Pale, never-ending light, like the kind you see when you die. Except, she wasn't dead. She was far from it. The pedestal halted in place, introducing her to this year's arena. Her eyes adjusted to the light and she looked around, breathing erratically.

Bex almost stumbled off her pedestal when she noticed the water surrounding her on all sides, sectioned off into slices by lines of rock, leading towards the large Cornucopia in the middle. She looked back, realizing that the ocean was bordered by a beach, and even further, an expansive jungle. Bile rose in her throat when she peered back down at the choppy water.

She couldn't swim.

"Let the seventy-fifth Hunger Games begin. May the odds be ever in your favor."

A holographic timer emerged from the center of the Cornucopia. Bex's dread only got worse as the seconds ticked on.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

She scanned the tributes. Nico was three pedestals down on her right.

Seven.

Six.

On her left, Enobaria went into a fighting stance and bared her teeth. On her right, Woof looked around in fear, losing focus.

Five.

Four.

Bex's heart hammered in her chest when she noticed Finnick on the other end of the arena, right beside Mags.

Three.

Turning to the Cornucopia, she spotted three axes, all ranging in different sizes, leaning against a trident. She could only guess that was intentional.

Two.

She needed to figure this out. She couldn't swim. She'd have to run across the rubble. Oh, gods, she wished she could just fucking swim.

One.

Her heart stopped just as the cannon fired.

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A/N: WOOP WOOP we finally got bex and angelo's convo and we're finally at the arena!! so much is gonna go down here and I'm AMPEDDDDD to show y'all. I just finished prewriting act ii last week and I'm starting on act iii this week. it's gonna be 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼