CHAPTER 10
A LITTLE HOPE

BEX woke up only a few hours later to find her makeup stained on the pillow.

She groaned at the sight of it, but knew there was nothing she could do. Turning the pillowcase over, she looked to the other end of the bed and watched Finnick snore away, muscular arms wrapped around the pillow beneath his head. He looked a lot more peaceful in his sleep, but Bex had no doubt that nightmares raged on in his mind. They all suffered that kind of fate.

Bex ran a hand through the mess of tangles atop her head. She needed to get out of here now if she didn't want anyone finding her. It was her only option. She carefully stood from the bed and grabbed her heels on the floor before pausing at the doorway. Looking over her shoulder, she wondered when they'd meet again, so she could thank him. Without Finnick, she might've endured that party for a few more hours and went home with Atlas' drunken mess.

Tiptoeing had never been a skill she excelled at, but she tried harder than ever before as she sauntered through Finnick's hotel room. The clock in the hotel room's makeshift kitchen flashed two thirty-one AM. She spotted some of his team sleeping in the living area, slumped against the comfy couch cushions. Bex had never really seen Finnick with his team at Capitol functions, so she almost didn't recognize them on arrival. But the Capitol-style makeup said it all, and she carefully strode around them to get to the door.

The lock clicked in place behind her and released a sigh of relief. It was when she was taking the elevator and realized she left her fake lashes behind that her anxiety tried to creep up again. But she knew Finnick was smart. He'd know a way to cover her. At least, she hoped.

They were friends now, weren't they? She enjoyed talking to the real Finnick, not the character he played up for Snow and his disciples. Friends cover for each other.

As soon as she was back in her own hotel room, she found Phoenix snoring away on the couch. He waited for her to come back. Bex smiled and set her purse on the dining table before padding over to the small living area. She grabbed a faux fur blanket on the arm of the sofa and placed it over him. He wrapped an arm around it as she left for the bathroom, not suspecting a thing.

Bex almost cringed at herself when she walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It looked like her makeup had been dragged down her face, smudged to the edge of her jaw. She carefully washed it all off, taking the most time with the glitter cemented on her lids, and began to work on her hair. It took almost fifteen minutes to get out of the high ponytail and untangled. Despite how loudly her bed was calling, she still hauled her naked body into a much-needed shower.

The water was scorching hot, but nothing had felt better in that moment. It rained down on her and melted that nasty chill set deep in her bones. She washed away all that remained of the Flower Girl until she was Bex Nassar again. Not Bex Nassar: the Victor. Not Bex Nassar: the Escort. Just Bex Nassar from District Seven, daughter of Rebekah and Keaton Sr.

We should all be able to find real love someday.

Finnick's voice was a cool mist floating into the walls of her mind, seeping deep within her subconscious. She sighed and stared at her hands. The nail polish Iliana's team had painted on her tiny nubs shined in different lighting. Right now, it was dark purple. But Bex saw beneath it. She saw the blood still lingering beneath the glitter and the pretty nail polish. She was a killer that they dressed up like a doll.

We've been robbed of it for too long, Finnick had said. But who could ever love a killer? Who could ever look past the fact that she murdered people – innocent children – to survive in this cruel world that never gave her peace? Who could hold her at night even when she screamed because of the nightmares that haunted her brain? Bex Nassar wouldn't be someone's burden, but she was so, so lonely sometimes. She didn't expect anyone to learn to love her.

Maybe a fellow killer could, but she didn't want to think about that.

And it certainly wasn't the time to. After scrubbing her skin of all the body glitter and washing her hair, Bex turned off the shower and stepped out. She wouldn't be surprised if her own body was radiating smoke from how hot the water was. She blow-dried her hair on the lowest setting to not wake up Phoenix, until it was fell across her back in shiny waves. The pajamas she slid on were made of violet silk and warm to the touch.

Next stop, dreamland. She only hoped nightmares wouldn't come with it.

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It was false hope to believe that, but at the very least, she hadn't woke up screaming that night. Well, for the little hours she slept. Bex was pretty sure it was only a total of five hours. Around eight AM, Phoenix barged into her room, sweaty, shaking her awake. Bex batted him away at first and hugged her pillow tighter, but then Phoenix used his "serious voice," and her eyes instantly snapped open.

"It's eight, Phoenix," she groaned, lifting her head from the pillow. "I had a long night."

"Please, you think I don't know that? I heard the shower going at three AM." He stood up straighter and looked down at her. Bex sat up a little more. "This is important."

Her brow furrowed. "What is? I thought I was leaving for the train after noon."

"You will, but ..." He looked to the doorway, where Iliana anxiously stood. Bex's face twisted even more.

"I'm not here to dress you," the stylist promised. "Just here for emotional support."

Bex's stare flickered back to Phoenix, who was bouncing on the back of his heels. He finally replied, "President Snow is on the phone. He wants to speak with you."

Her lips parted. She dragged her tongue over them, but everything still felt dry. Even her throat. Bex glanced to Iliana, and then back to Phoenix. Raking a hand through her hair, she knew what her choice had to be.

It was that she didn't have one.

She pulled her hair into a messy ponytail and slid on a fluffy robe. Iliana slowly exited the room and went to sit at the dining table, where a fresh cup of tea waited for her. Phoenix walked out of the bedroom with her, hand on her back, and Bex was pretty sure that was the only thing propelling her forward. Her whole body felt frozen, but her feet were moving. Phoenix led her to the living area, and the hotel phone sat idly next to the sofa. The whole walk felt like ages, but it was only a few seconds before Bex sank into the comfy cushions.

Knowing that the President waited on that other end ... something about this was even more nerve-wracking than seeing him in person. She couldn't precisely know how to respond to him without seeing his face, monitoring his expression. No, this was even worse than talking to Snow face-to-face. Her anxiety rippled through her body like a wave, and she found her hand hovering over the phone handle with hesitation.

Phoenix pursed his lips and stepped back to sit with Iliana, leaving Bex completely alone.

She took in a shallow breath and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded so small in the speaker.

"Miss Nassar," Snow bellowed, "good morning."

"Good morning to you too, President Snow."

"I hope I didn't wake you."

Bex picked at a knotted curl from her ponytail. "No, you called at just the right time. How can I help you?"

"I first wanted to thank you for joining us last night," he said, and she could practically hear the sneer in his voice. "Atlas looked very happy to see you, as did I. I noticed that you also spoke to our new Head Gamemaker, Plutarch. What did you think of him?"

She spoke through gritted teeth, "I think he will definitely make the Games interesting this year. You ..." She licked at the edges of her lips. "You made a wise decision."

Snow chuckled. "I think so too." He paused then, taking a moment to sigh very dramatically. "Well, I must admit, I call with grim news."

She was on edge then. Her skin raised in tiny bumps. A shiver ran from the top of her spine, all the way to her toes. Bex gripped the arm of the chair, but kept her voice even as she replied, "Oh? What news?"

He saw you leave with Finnick last night. He's furious. He told you to stay away and you didn't listen. He could take away Keaton. Or one of the Victors, maybe. He could take away Nico or Johanna –

The President sighed again, and Bex could've sworn she felt it on the back of her neck. "Can I ask you a question first?" He didn't give her a second to respond. "How is your relationship with my friend, Atlas?"

"Well," she bit her bottom lip, trying to think of the most favorable answer. "Atlas is ... He's very sweet to me. He's funny and we have a lot of fun. I'm glad that you put in such a good word for him. I enjoy his company a lot –"

"It seems he would say the same," the President hummed. "Hmm ... interesting."

Bex didn't respond. She wasn't sure if her lips could even move at the moment.

"This is very heartbreaking for me to do," he began, "but I believe you should break things off with my dear friend."

She rubbed at her eyes. For once, this was something she and the President could agree on. But why exactly was he selling out his friend like this? Bex was under the assumption that Snow wanted her to spend more time with Atlas because they were good friends.

"Why?" She asked, more harshly than she would've wanted.

But Snow didn't seem to notice. "I think he's getting too fond of you, if I'm being honest. And you do know the rules of our contract just as well as I do. There is no time for dating your ... admirers. Not in this business. Not in the Capitol."

Bex swallowed hard. She turned her head to look at her team sitting at the dining table, their worried stares pinned on her back.

"You must pay attention to your other admirers, right?"

"Correct," she said, rather quickly.

"Good to hear that you agree."

Before she could stop herself, Bex blurted, "Can I just ask you a question?"

It was bold of her. Almost too bold. But the President didn't answer, silently urging her to continue.

"This seems ... very out of the blue, President Snow," she spoke slowly, carefully. Each word was a test of her own power over him, the strength and confidence of a Victor. "Why would you want me to hurt one of your closest friends?"

He laughed. It was enough to make her skin crawl. "Heartbreak, my dear, helps people grow. It helps them get stronger." He smiled through the phone. "It makes them hope for a better tomorrow."

"You want me to break Atlas' heart so he can hope for someone better to come along?"

Another chuckle, but Bex didn't care this time. He was very clearly insulting her and she didn't want to hear it – not from him, the man who took so much from her. "You'll learn, Miss Nassar, that hope is important. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. In this case, just some of it will help Atlas carry on, so he can continue to be my close friend."

So that's why he wanted her to break Atlas. He was getting too bold, too unaware of her guidelines. Atlas thought that because he was close with the President, he could have whatever he wanted, but clearly not. Snow wanted his friend back and wanted one of his best Victors to follow the rules.

Bex's lips lifted in a smile, even though the President couldn't see it. "I'll do it, Mr. President. Thank you for your guidance."

That afternoon, Bex sat in the lobby of the Starmorning hotel in a mint green dress that complimented her smooth skin tone, a cup of honeysuckle tea in her hand. Atlas sat across from her, trying to hide the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. It didn't matter how many times she complimented him and thanked him for their time together, he still cried. Atlas was at a loss for words.

She offered him a final hug goodbye before leaving the hotel. But Atlas's face became red. His eyes no longer sparkled; they were full of rage. He shoved past her embrace and waved a finger in her face. "All you Victors do is use people," he spat in her direction. "You're awful. You used me. To get what – I don't know. But you used me. Probably to get you into parties or close to the President. You make me sick."

"Excuse me, but I can get into anything all on my own." Her tone was brutal, full of fiery wrath. This was dangerous for her to do. This would get back to Snow. But she didn't care.

If she was lucky, he might like her for it. He was always unpredictable.

Bex held her chin high. "You're just pissed because a woman broke up with you first. You don't like being defied by the opposite sex." She chuckled mockingly, and Atlas' eyes narrowed. "But I guess it doesn't matter. There was never supposed to be a relationship in the first place. So go off and run your mouth to President Snow about me, but how about you also ask him who decided I end things with you in the first place?"

Her team watched by the doors with bated breath. Bex slowly approached Atlas and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You can do nothing to me."

One last huff from him before he exited the hotel. He never spoke to the President about their scuffle, too afraid of the truth from his friend. That was the last time Bex had ever seen Atlas Pacuri.

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A/N: this chapter was vvvvvv fillery ugh 😩 but more drama will be on the way soon!! everything in this chapter was needed to show snow's influence on the victors in his agreement and to end atlas and bex's storyline.

so I also made a dumb meme for this fic and I hope you guys enjoy it. finnick and bex have been doing a lot of yearning and I literally cannot get this scene out of my head whenever I write their scenes together so enjoy 😋