CHAPTER 17
POISON PARADISE

BEX begged the group of Peacekeepers that surrounded her to let her say goodbye to her brother. They replied in silence and urged her to move forward. The train waited for them patiently, but Bex kept her eyes up over the heads of the Peacekeepers, hoping to see Keaton one last time. She didn't. He wasn't coming for her, nor was he able to, and Bex was forced onto the train with only the memory of her brother's embrace.

Nico ran a hand through his hair and sat down on the couch, but his back was rigid. He was quiet, lacing his hands together, and resting them in front of his mouth. Bex didn't say anything, too afraid to ask if he was even okay, and stared at the cart of scones on the dining table. She debated on picking one up. It was time to savor everything, take nothing for granted. These might just be her last days to enjoy the little things in life, like perfectly-crafted pastries from the Capitol.

But Bex kept her hands firmly at her sides, looking over her shoulder when she heard someone's boots stomp up the steps of the train.

Johanna's face was sunken in, the natural blush drained from her dark skin. She looked like she ran a mile. Sweat coated her hairline, dripping down her cheeks, and she was breathing heavily as she approached the two Victors. They were her new tributes, and Johanna now had to play the role of mentor. Her teeth chattered at the thought.

"Guys," she shook her head, "I –"

"Whatever you're going to say," Nico exhaled, "forget it. What's done is done, Johanna. Hope you enjoy mentoring us."

Johanna's brow crinkled. "Can you at least have a little more empathy over this situation?"

"Why should I have empathy when I'm walking to my death?" He raised a single brow, waiting for an answer. Johanna was silent. "That's what I thought. I've seen death before ­– we all have. And we know it's ugly. I'm not ready to face it again."

"Stop it. Both of you," Bex cut in. "The last thing we need is more fighting."

Johanna turned to Bex, dark eyes drinking her in. She grasped Bex's forearm tightly. "You should've let me go, Bex. Why did you do that? Why would you go back in again?"

Bex swallowed hard. She could only utter the word, "Because." Everything else felt too hard to say. She felt like something was lodged in her throat, preventing her from speaking another word.

But the question still remained. Why had she done it? Bex didn't quite know herself. In the heat of the moment, humans can do such vile and surprising things. At the very least, her volunteering would be a statement. She was only the third person from District Seven in all history to have volunteered. That had to count for something. And maybe – if she were lucky – volunteering would show her silent loyalty to Snow. He wanted loyalty that badly, so this was it. Loud and clear.

Keaton would be safe, as long as she showed her devotion to him and the Capitol. This was a good starting point.

Bex turned back to Johanna and slipped her arm out of the younger girl's grip, clapping it on her shoulder. "If there's anyone who should survive this, it should be the youngest."

"You of all people know that nobody really survives this." Johanna's frown deepened. "They just endure."

The train entrance slammed shut as another person entered and they began their journey across the tracks. The trees were already becoming a blur as they sped towards the Capitol. Bex turned her head to Phoenix entering the train cart. He was quiet and brooding, grabbing the first bottle of white wine that sat in a large ice bucket before him. Snatching the first wine flute in front of him, Phoenix poured himself a drink to the very top of the glass. He downed the whole flute, then poured himself another. The three Victors watched with morbid curiosity.

Finally, Phoenix sauntered over to the couch and plopped himself next to Nico with his second glass. Nico looked over at their escort with a glare, but Phoenix ignored him as he sat back against the cushions and rubbed at his forehead.

Johanna was the first person to speak: "What? Do you have nothing to say about this?!"

"Nothing good to say," Phoenix quipped. Bex noticed his voice crack as soon as his mouth opened.

Phoenix took another large gulp of his wine before setting the flute on the table next to him. He took his head in his head, rubbing at his eyes and throbbing temples, before he began to muffle his own sobs. Bex had always seen Phoenix as a beacon of hope. Whenever things had gone awry, he was always there to show her the light or help her rationalize. He was more than just an escort; he was a great friend. But now, seeing him like this ... it was the hardest thing she ever had to witness. She never thought she'd see him cry.

Phoenix's sobs racked his entire body, causing him to shake as the tears made their way down his cheeks. Bex wondered how long he'd been holding this in. It seemed like a while. Nico's scowl had softened, and he scooted over on the couch to sit closer to Phoenix. He laid a comforting hand on the escort's shoulder.

Bex wanted to comfort Phoenix, but she had her own misery to deal with at the moment. The sun was high in the sky and she had never been more tired. Her eyes burned from looking at it for too long. Her throat hurt to even speak. So she did the best thing she could: she walked over to Phoenix, placed a hand on his arm, and squeezed. She sent him a soft smile and turned to walk away.

Phoenix caught her hand before she could get too far.

Bex looked down at his grip, and then to his tear-streaked face. He tried to wipe away the evidence, but the tears were drying on his skin, etched into his expression. Phoenix shook his head and muttered, "I'm sorry, Bex." He looked around the room, eyeing each and every one of them. "I'm sorry to all of you."

Nico nodded his head in thanks. Johanna crossed her arms and looked away.

Bex clasped his hand tightly as sleep called to her, causing her eyelids to sting. She exhaled softly, "It's alright, Phoenix."

She retreated to her sleeping quarters without looking back.

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Bex chose the last room available on their train and didn't set foot outside of it for the rest of the day. In fact, she slept for a total of nineteen hours – not quite the same amount of time as when she slept for three days straight, but still somewhat of a record.

Despite her circumstances, she had her first full sleep in a long while. The Capitol train provided them with all the clothes they needed, including the comfiest pajama sets she had ever worn. Bex felt bad having to take off her mother's blouse and replace it with something made by the people who took her, but their pajamas were too good to resist. She went out like a light after sliding on a pair of blue silk pajamas and curling herself into the comforter on her bed. It almost felt as good as Finnick's bed in his penthouse suite.

Her mind wandered to thoughts of him during the night. How he was, what was his stance in all of this, but Bex shoved those questions away so she could go back to a peaceful sleep. Thinking about him for too much longer caused anxiety to creep into her stomach, making her want to throw up.

If he was involved in this Quarter Quell too ... she shuddered at the thought and pushed it to the back of her mind. Finnick could handle himself on his own. Bex needed to worry about protecting herself now, not other people.

Sunlight streamed through her windows sometime past eight in the morning. It warmed her face and caused her eyes to snap open. Bex huffed, running a hand through her greasy hair, and looked out into the sun. She didn't know why, but something about the light gave her a sense of hope, and she held onto it in her mind. Hope was a very hard thing to come by these days. She didn't dare let herself slip back into misery, even with her impending death.

She took a quick shower, allowing the excessively hot water to help clear her conscience. Bex wasn't sure what she was exactly clearing – the worry, the bad thoughts – but something in her mind felt so heavy. Maybe she simply needed a reminder that she was still present in her own body. The long sleep helped to calm her, but Bex needed the rush of steam and hot water on her face just to remind herself that she was here, that she was alive, just for a little while longer. Now wasn't the time to be numb. She needed to live.

Bex slipped her mother's ring on her finger when she stepped out of the shower. She would've certainly wanted her to live.

After wrapping a robe around herself, Bex retreated into the dining cart with a fresh pair of wool slippers and wet hair tumbling down her back. Everyone was already sat at the table, dressed and ready to go as they neared the Capitol. Phoenix was flipping through a Capitol magazine while Johanna sipped on a cup of black coffee. She was eyeing Nico with disgust, who was currently stuffing his face with as much toast and jam he could eat.

Phoenix closed his magazine as soon as Bex slid into a seat at the table. She poured herself a cup of coffee and muttered, "Looks like everyone got an early start this morning."

"How did you even sleep for so long?" Johanna scoffed, setting down her cup. "I could hardly keep my eyes closed."

Phoenix flung his magazine on another chair. Bex began to butter a toasted blueberry scone as he said, "None of that matters. Now that everyone's here, we can get down to business."

Bex was surprised at his attitude this morning. He seemed a lot more upbeat and prepared, a complete contrast to the sobbing mess she experienced when they boarded the train yesterday. They all needed to be ready now. Time for crying was over. They needed to be alert at all times. After all, they would be walking into a room of trained killers.

"We have a few hours before we enter the Capitol," Phoenix explained. "Everything will be different because this is a Quarter Quell." He played with his watch until a tiny holographic image burst from the surface.

Nico picked up one of the scones from the tray in front of Bex. He examined it for a minute with his lip curled up. "I can't imagine much difference. They're still serving these nasty things on the train."

Bex smacked his hand away from the tray. Johanna rolled her eyes.

"Anyways," Phoenix continued on, presenting a blueprint of a new building from his watch, "the Capitol will spare no expense. This will be the new Training Center." He pressed a button on his watch and a new image appeared. This time, it showed a bedroom that rivaled the décor of the penthouse suite at the Starmorning hotel. "And this is an example of the new tribute living quarters." Phoenix swallowed hard and shut off his watch, eyes flickering between the two tributes. "And also a special arena."

Bex arched a brow. "How special?"

"Probably unlike anything we've ever seen. Every Quarter Quell has been weird." Johanna slid over a tablet that sat beside her placemat. "I've been reading up on them. The last one – the fiftieth Games – had a twist where they had twice the amount of tributes from each District. Two boys and two girls. Forty-eight tributes."

Nico replied, "Now that was a long Game. I remember watching them as a kid, before I was picked."

"Almost eight days," Johanna added, scrolling through a page on her tablet. "Gamemakers described the arena as 'the most breathtaking place imaginable.' It was mostly this beautiful meadow that stretched on for miles with a forest in the distance on one side and a snowy mountain on the other, but that turned out to be a fucking volcano. Everything in the arena was poisonous – the water, the food, plants, even the mutts. The only safe water and food came from the rain and inside the Cornucopia. No wonder they called it the Poison Paradise."

Bex swallowed hard and stayed silent.

Phoenix's eyes flickered to her face. Sensing her growing concern, he took a large sip of his tea and pointed towards the tributes. "You two should probably get yourselves dressed right after breakfast. We don't want to be late for anything once we arrive." He then glanced at Johanna, who was continuously scrolling on her device. "You should definitely be changing too."

Johanna looked down at her gray t-shirt and brown cargo pants before scowling in Phoenix's direction. "Fuck off."

Bex tried to hide her smile with the lapel of her robe, but Johanna still saw it. They ate in silence. Phoenix continued to flip through his magazine and Johanna read up on more Quarter Quell history. Bex wasn't exactly sure she was ready to be a mentor in a Quarter Quell, but she wouldn't dare allow her in this arena if it was going to be as bad as years past. Johanna was too young to experience it again. Some might say that Bex was too young as well, but sacrifices had to be made. She had to trust in Johanna's skills and her own.

After finishing off another scone, Bex retreated back to her room to get dressed. She tore through the clothes provided on the train, but couldn't find anything she really liked. Considering they would just be departing the train and going right into the Training Center, she assumed her outfit didn't need to be too fancy. She picked up the pants she wore yesterday from the floor and pulled them on. Then, she took out a dark red blouse from the closet and buttoned it on. She left her hair natural as it dried from her recent shower, but still tugged a comb through the tangles.

Bex played with the wedding ring on her finger and sighed. For good luck, Keaton had said while placing it in her palm. Little did he know how much she'd need that now. Or maybe he did.

A flash of red caught her eye in the large window in front of her. Bex stood up and walked over to the glass, wondering what it could've been. Cement walls surrounded them as they traveled through a tunnel. The lights flickered while the train sped by, and Bex finally noticed the red again.

It was from a symbol painted on the tunnel walls. Every few feet, the symbol repeated, accompanied by the words, THE ODDS ARE NEVER IN OUR FAVOR! She heard the man's voice from the Reaping in her head again, haunting her. Bex swallowed hard as the mockingjay symbol became more clear before her very eyes.

The symbol of rebellion. The symbol of hope.

The people of Panem had more hope than President Snow could ever imagine.

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A/N: sorry for the fillery chapter! there might be one or two more of those before we really get into the pre-games festivities. however, a pretty big reveal might be coming up real soon. I'm so excited to get into the quarter quell, even tho it's sad 🥴