CHAPTER 19
COURAGE AND SACRIFICE

DRAGGING herself out of the bed the next morning was harder than she imagined.

Bex tossed the sheets off to the side. She didn't remember getting under the covers at all during the night, but somehow that happened. She was still in her clothes from yesterday too. A huff resonated from her lips as she padded over to the large window, yanking the curtains to the side. The sunlight hit her immediately and she squinted before looking down, just below her balcony. A group of Capitol citizens gathered together outside the Training Center. They all held up signs indicating which Victors they were rooting for. Bex's upper lip curled in disgust before shutting the curtains.

The TV in the main living area was almost blasting at full volume. Bex walked out of her bedroom and was instantly welcomed by Caesar's annoying laughter, along with his friend, Claudius Templesmith. Nico sat in front of the television with a bored expression. She looked at the projection with an arched brow before turning to her team. Some were already sat at the dining table. Johanna motioned for the blue-haired Avox to pour her more black coffee as her eyes met Bex's. With a scowl, she said, "Guess I was wrong about see you later. Where have you been?"

"Sleeping," Bex muttered, rubbing at her eyes. She slowly padded over to the spot across from Phoenix at the table. He sipped at a cup of tea gingerly. "I thought it was obvious."

"It was," Johanna quipped, stuffing a piece of French toast with purple syrup in her mouth. "Nico and I have been working together on our own."

Phoenix rolled his eyes as Nico turned off the TV and sat down at the other head of the table. The Capitol escort picked apart a berry tart and muttered, "With my help, as well."

"Details, details," she replied.

"The tributes are really strong this year, Bex. I remember some of them from Games even before mine." Nico explained when Bex looked over at him. She cut into her own plate of pancakes and plopped a piece in her mouth. "But I guess that's a given," he said while sipping his coffee, "they're all Victors."

Johanna's glare was pinned on Bex again. "If you feel well enough, Bex, maybe we can finally discuss allies together?"

Bex ripped through another slice of her pancakes and muttered, "Why not."

But Johanna already began to talk over her: "I'm sure you both saw Caesar's broadcast last night. It only ran about five times because that guy can't get enough of seeing himself."

Nico and Bex nodded at the same time, but the female tribute decided to not mention that she didn't watch the whole thing. Johanna was already in a horrid mood this morning. She didn't want to make it worse, though it was tempting.

"Who are you two thinking about?" Johanna implored. "Of course, we still have a long way to go. We'll make official statements for allies after the three training days. But do you guys have any thoughts on first impressions?"

Nico opened his mouth, but he was interrupted by Bex. Whatever he was about to say would be the exact opposite of Bex's point. She loved Nico, she did, but he hadn't experienced the Games in years. Bex was a bit more recent, and Johanna even more so. Bex's own confidence assured her that she had better judgment.

"Beetee from District Three is incredibly smart," Bex began, "and I believe that we need that on our side. Brains can go a long way in the Games, not just killing. Three is overlooked even though it's surrounded by Career Districts, because it doesn't normally produce physically fit tributes. Combining our strength with his brains would be a wise move, and something people wouldn't see coming."

Johanna's expression pinched. "He's kind of ... old though."

Bex frowned. "Are you serious?"

"I'm just saying. But I'll make a note of it." Johanna plucked her favorite tablet from the table and typed it in her current list. She looked up from the bright screen. "Anyone else?"

Again, Nico opened his mouth, but Bex beat him to it: "There's also the newcomers, Katniss and Peeta. They're Capitol favorites, just like the rest of us. People love them because they provide romance and drama. Having them on our side could provide us some good sponsors."

Johanna cocked her head to the side with a smirk, her voice sarcastically sweet as she asked, "Are they loved almost as much as the Flower Girl?" She tapped another bullet point into her tablet.

Bex's eyes formed into slits, but she continued to cut into her breakfast.

While her mouth was chewing, Nico finally took his shot to suggest someone. "Hey – uh – I have an idea. What about Finnick Odair, the guy from Four? His female tribute would be an easy kill and having him on our side would be great."

Bex blinked and shared a look with Johanna. Their eyes softened before Bex looked away, deciding not to comment.

She felt bad for doubting him. Nico knew the Games just as well as she did, but he wasn't cunning or ruthless anymore. He didn't have to be. While Bex was off selling herself in the Capitol after the Games, Nico continued to stay in his home, closed off from society. She didn't know how he was going to survive this, but she needed to help him. And believing he was helpful was a good place to start.

His idea was good. So good that it had her heart pumping wildly. Bex didn't know what she was going to do once she saw him.

Ignoring was probably her best option to save both their asses.

Johanna cleared her throat, disrupting Bex's thought process. "I think we should definitely consider that."

A cup of coffee was placed in front of Bex. Steam wafted into her nose. She lifted her hand to thank the Avox, but her eyes met the same ones from yesterday and she suddenly couldn't speak. Her mouth wobbled, but words failed her. The Avox stayed frozen for longer than usual, and Bex noticed the tiny dyed curl that stuck up in the back of their head, the familiar sharp cheekbones, and the dimples.

And then, she saw the gold reflected in their chocolate stare. That was when Bex knew.

This Avox was no stranger.

Bex stood from her chair, obtaining her team's attention. Their eyes slid to her, but she didn't notice them. Her stare couldn't leave the Avox's, and her mouth was suddenly opening. The name, Angelo, threatened to fall from her chapped lips as she reached out to grab his hand –

But he was already running away, back to his post in the kitchen.

Bex's throat went dry. She stopped the tears that gathered in her waterline and rubbed at her nose. When she quickly sat back in her seat, no one said a word. What could they exactly say? There was nothing to explain what might've just happened, and Bex tried to control the shaking of her body as memories of Angelo played over and over again in her head.

That was him. It had to be. Bex didn't have a doubt. But he wasn't the same Angelo. This one had no tongue, no life in his eyes. Angelo Clevver was practically dead.

Johanna looked from Bex and then to the kitchen, understand growing in her eyes. She didn't say a word, too afraid to speak the truth.

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Iliana arrived only an hour later, a shiny, new wig planted on her head. Bex was used to her bright hair, but this wig was more of a dull green color with hints of gold and yellow, reminding her of a mossy forest. She guessed it was to show her appreciation for District Seven, but her yellow and blue dress hardly reflected that notion. Regardless, Iliana was a welcome sight, a distraction from Bex's current predicament.

"It's time to take you both to the Remake Center!" Iliana exclaimed as she popped through the door. "Bex's visit shouldn't be too bad. Just a touching up. But it's been a while for you, Nico. Are you ready to fix that snaggle tooth?" She chuckled heartily. Nico didn't respond back.

Bex looked over her shoulder as she passed the threshold of her room. Angelo was nowhere to be seen. She wouldn't be surprised if he tried hiding from her now, and that was probably a good thing. Bex was rattled by the revelation, but she knew she couldn't speak to him about it in public. It was too dangerous and she didn't want a worse fate for him.

Snow did this to punish her. She resisted him, she didn't bow down to his every word once, and this was the result. He took someone she loved and ruined them. This was the third person to receive this fate at her hands. First her mom, then her dad, and now Angelo. Bex couldn't let there be a fourth victim.

She just wanted to do something to make things right, even though there was nothing that could undo what had been done. She couldn't give him back his tongue. She couldn't give him back his life. This was all her fault.

Bex sucked in her tears as she laid on the cold steel table in the Remake Center. She forgot how freezing this place was, or the yelps of pain that erupted in the air from their poking and prodding. Nico hissed from his spot just a few feet from her. Three Capitol elite members surrounded her, grazing her skin with gloved fingers, and looking for imperfections. One of them wiped away a tear that slid down her cheek.

"Don't worry. There will be no pain," he said. "Only a few things need to be fixed before showtime."

He didn't know that she wasn't crying because of pain, but his voice was still soothing. Bex relaxed against the cold steel as they began to work.

The small team did very little. They scrubbed her skin for at least thirty minutes, getting off every last bit of grime. Bex thought she did a pretty good job of doing this herself in the shower, but it was clearly not enough. Her skin needed to glow. The team also polished her teeth to perfection and made sure they were whiter than paper. Bex's teeth had been straightened and whiten during her first Games. Her first visit to the Remake Center took hours because of her teeth. She never received proper dentistry in Seven due to the cost, but the Remake Center made her look like she had been going her whole life.

"Done," the man had said, ripping off his latex gloves. His team smiled with delight as Bex bared her teeth for them. "Good as new."

Bex wanted to exclaim that she had looked fine before, but these people were not her enemy. Like her, they were part of a system. And Iliana appeared at her side before she could say something stupid.

She followed her stylist down the hall, heading for the dressing rooms on the second floor of the Remake Center. When she looked over her shoulder, Bex noticed Nico heading in the opposite direction with Iliana's assistants. She exhaled softly and allowed Iliana to lead the way with her excessively-high heels. The stylist held open a door for her that had her name printed on it in bold, golden letters.

Iliana dressed her in ... somewhat of a mess of a dress. Her stylist had been creating and presenting some pretty spectacular outfits lately, but Bex realized that she had to go back to her old ways for the Tribute Parade. The ridiculousness always came out for it. In fact, it wasn't until last year, when Cinna had become a stylist, that District Twelve didn't have their tributes dressed in actual coal.

But Iliana's dress was pretty. She'd give her that sentiment. The dress' corset was made of a shimmer fabric that almost resembled bark: brown with hints of silver and gold flecked across the top. The corset was low-cut, enough to make her chest to appear two-times its size. The skirt was green and looked like moss, and was layered with a sparkly green netting fabric, which was also placed underneath her corset. The brown boots on her feet had the same silver and gold specks on the leather. Iliana also added small pieces of fake moss along her collarbone and bare arms, and Bex wasn't sure if she could see small flowers growing from it or if her own eyes were deceiving her.

Her hair flowed down her back in delicate ringlets, but the top of her head was wrapped in a crown of braids, small leaves and flowers woven into it. As Bex fidgeted in Iliana's salon chair, her stylist began to get to work on her makeup. She feathered her brows out, unfurling them to the edges. Bex thought she looked like a bird when she caught a glance in the mirror. Iliana then added a sparkly, yellow shadow to the corner of her eyes, while the rest of the lid was covered in both matte and shimmering greens and blacks. Somehow, the vivid colors didn't overpower the outfit, but Bex guessed the dress did a fine job of that on its own.

"Last but not least," Iliana cooed, spinning her chair around for Bex to face the mirror. The stylist brought her hands out from behind her back and placed an iridescent bark tiara in the middle of her braids. She clapped and smiled at her work.

Bex met her eyes in the mirror. "It's beautiful, Iliana," she said, and she wasn't lying. While the whole getup was a tad ridiculous, Iliana always made it work somehow. The crown resting on the top of her head was stunning, a perfect way to top off the outfit.

She stood from the chair, wobbling a bit as her boots hit the floor. The heels were atrocious and she didn't have time to break them in. Iliana looked her up and down, admiring her work, until she caught a glint of something on Bex's hand. The tribute tried pulling away at first, but Iliana lifted her fingers, studying the ring. The emerald in the middle of the band gleamed. Iliana's brows shot up.

"You can't have this on," she said, despite her own surprise. Iliana began to slip the ring off, but Bex quickly snatched her hand away, brows knitting together.

"No," Bex snapped. She placed that hand behind her back. "It's my good luck charm."

Iliana placed her hands on her hips, raising an intimidating brow. Bex didn't budge and fiddled with the ring behind her. She wouldn't let her take this away.

"Well, alright," Iliana sighed, giving up the fight. Her heels clicked towards the door and she held it open with her hip, jerking with her chin for Bex to head out. "It's time to leave. I'll meet you at the Parade Center."

Bex's heels delayed her running, but she hustled forward. A car with a large 7 painted on the side waited for her outside the Training Center. She needed the driver's help to get inside. It took almost five minutes, but they were off as soon as she was safely settled in the back. The driver headed for the heart of the city where the parade was taking place. The Parade Center was a large, stone awning built a mile before the Capitol's Justice Building, just for the purpose of the Games. The structure was so old that Bex was surprised it hadn't collapsed already.

There were several lines of traffic leading up to the Parade Center, but Bex managed to make it just five minutes short of starting. Chariots were already waiting inside the awning, decked out with each District's symbols and industry themes, all being led by large Clydesdale horses. Bex found Nico already waiting in the chariot when she arrived. He raised his arms, silently asking where she'd been, but Bex waved him off and stepped up on the chariot. It was decorated with moss, bark, and white roses, both real and made of paper.

Nico was dressed similarly to her. He wore a dress shirt in dark forest green with patches of moss crawling up his arms. His boots looked the same as hers. He also sported a matching vest and pant set made from the same bark fabric as Bex's corset. No crown sat on his head, but unlike Bex, he wore a single white rose growing from a patch of moss on his vest pocket.

"You look great, Bex. But I imagine this wood fabric is just as uncomfortable for you as it is for me." Nico knocked a fist against his vest, and to her surprise, a harsh knock resonated. Bex hadn't noticed how lifelike the fabric was, due to the corset synching her in so tightly.

She tapped the corset with her fist. "Damn, you're right."

The horses were getting restless. They had three minutes until showtime. The crowd was already as loud as can be. Bex debated on asking someone for earplugs, but that would mean not hearing whatever lackluster speech President Snow was going to give, and they couldn't have that.

Her eyes swept over the Parade Center, studying each of the Victors with precision. Cashmere and Gloss waited at the front of the line, adorning outfits that looked like they were made from pure crystal. Brutus and Enobaria were dressed like galactic warriors, while Beetee and Wiress' outfits were fashioned with gears and an iridescent fabric that could practically blind someone in the light. Behind them, Mags stood on the chariot alone, gray and silver hair pinned up around her head, dressed in a glittering blue tunic with gold fishing net wrapped around it. Finnick was nowhere to be found. Bex swallowed hard.

She turned her head to look over the other tributes around her. Many were still struggling to hop up on their chariots. She caught Cecelia's eye, though, as she stood anxiously next to her tribute partner, Woof, who was one of the oldest Victors next to Mags. Bex's heart burned to see Cecelia there, all dressed in black with white wires curling along her shoulders. She always had a soft spot for her. Cecelia was a mother who loved her children, and she had to leave them time and time again for her business with the Capitol. But now, Bex wasn't sure if she'd see her family again.

Her stare moved to the left, and Bex couldn't stop herself from gawking at who was standing in front of Katniss Everdeen. Even from a far distance, she'd know him anywhere. Finnick Odair turned from Katniss and walked away with a smirk planted on his face, but it was his outfit – or lack thereof – that had Bex's mouth dropping.

He wore a gold fishing net – similar to the fabric on Mags – but the netting was wrapped around his muscled arms and strategically knotted at his groin. His favorite shark tooth necklace also hung off his neck. He was as close as you could get to naked, but not technically, solidifying his role as the Capitol's most desired sex symbol. The more they could see of Finnick, the better. They loved their Golden Boy.

And they loved Bex too, but she would never imagine Iliana dressing her like that. Her corset, however, wasn't doing her any favors with that argument.

Their eyes met as he got closer to her chariot. The smirk on his lips vanished and Bex's mouth sealed into a tight line. She wanted to say something; she knew she should. But she couldn't. And definitely, not now, in front of everyone. He was already passing by her chariot and walking away, the fishing net hiding just enough of his backside.

Bex bit onto her bottom lip and looked away from Finnick as he stood beside Mags on his chariot. He then turned to look at Bex over his shoulder, but she was too busy nodding towards her tribute partner to notice.

The infamous parade music began, and without warning, the horses moved forward. Bex held onto Nico's hand for balance. District One's chariot led them all out of the Parade Center and into the glistening sun of the Capitol. The crowds seemed to get bigger every year. Capitol citizens lined the streets, waving flags, holding up signs, cheering so loud that they could outmatch the music pounding in their ears. Musicians were placed in front of them every ten feet, banging on large drums with batons. Bex squinted as the sun pierced her eyes and roses flew in her direction.

The Justice Building got closer and closer up ahead, but the shouting didn't cease. Bex held onto Nico tighter and raised their hands, earning screams of approval from the audience. She looked around. They waved in her direction, raised their hands. They looked like they were losing their minds. "FLOWER GIRL!" They chanted along with the sound of the drums. Bex almost forgot how exhilarating this felt, as much as she hated to admit it.

Upon placing her hand on one side of the chariot, Bex noticed the flowers growing around her fingers. Both real and paper roses began to move and blossom down the sides of her chariot, tangling with each other, dazzling the crowd. Even more roses bloomed from the moss patches on her collarbones and arms. Bex almost didn't believe her eyes. Nico laughed at her surprise and continuing waving at the crowd.

The chariots approached the Justice Building and moved in a circle in front of President Snow's podium. Bex lifted her free hand at the right moment and caught a single white rose thrown her way. She viewed down at it and swallowed, but kept that hand in the air. These citizens would do anything for a sliver of attention from the Victors. She was a prize here, and she had to remember that always.

Bex met Snow's stare up above as her chariot passed. His lips curled into a sinister smile, but she didn't return the sentiment. Instead, she tilted her rose in his direction. It could be either seen as a challenging action or one of admiration. She'd let him decide.

The chariots finally halted in place before the podium. The first four Districts lined together in the front, while the remaining eight formed side-by-side in back of them. When Bex viewed to her right, she noticed Katniss and Peeta's outfits were on fire, which had become a famous addition to their stylist's clothing choices. Caesar Flickerman must be clapping for joy from wherever he was hosting.

President Snow waved to the crowd before bowing his head towards the tributes. The crowd and music came to an immediate hush.

"Welcome, welcome," he said into the mic. The rose on his lapel was as pure and delicate as the one in Bex's hand. "Victors, we welcome you. We salute your courage and your sacrifice during this very special Quarter Quell."

The crowd cheered. Snow's eyes scanned the tributes below, and his lips hinted at a smirk. Bex's grip on her rose went tense.

"We wish you a happy Hunger Games," he continued with a wink. "And may the odds be ever in your favor."

The Capitol clapped along with their President as the chariots turned around and headed back into the Parade Center. Confetti and flowers rained down on the tributes, but it all went unnoticed when Bex looked back at the white rose in her hand. Blood oozed from her palm. The thorns had pricked her after forming her hand into a fist. Bex wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't glanced down. The blood trickled onto her boot.

She hadn't felt a thing.

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A/N: and there's that big reveal!! I know it was kinda obvious, but it needed to be done for plot purposes :/// and YES, I did keep finnick's parade outfit from the books bc we were robbed of it in the movies. sue me for wanting to look disrespectfully at sam claflin 😤