I thought that surrounding
myself with friends would
help my mind ring
hope, courage, love; it should,

but it doesn't.

It is as if my heart
had ice that never melts;
I thought hugs would thaw it into shards;
I'll be free, and warmth will help,

but it doesn't.

I make jokes to cover
the chorus of voices in my head,
along with hollow laughter
as my heart bleeds.

Though I smile,
though I laugh,
though I love,
It's one way of yelling: "help!"