"I'm telling you Fred," said Marv, "I heard good things about this place. But honestly, it's kinda a dump don't you think?"

The hostess looked up from her stand near the door and a few other patrons glanced their way. Fred's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He'd heard about the restaurant's reputation and was excited he would get to try it on the company's dime, even if it meant spending time with his boss Marv.

"It's cozy," said Fred meekly. He hoped he'd spoken loud enough for the staff to hear.

"The food better come with a hummer because the decor blows!" Marv snorted with laughter at his own joke and pounded on the table. Fred tried to shrink out of sight in his chair. "And the portions had better be big, because I'm starvin' Marvin!" He slapped his belly and laughed again. 

A waitress appeared at the table. "May I take your order?"

"Yeah, what's the special today?" asked Marv.

The waitress shifted uncomfortably and looked around. "I'm sorry, sir," she said. "We don't have a special today."

"What!" bellowed Marv. "But you have a sign outside that says 'Daily Special.' And all of the reviewers of this rather pathetic looking joint recommend ordering it."

"Excuse me," said the waitress and she hurried into the back.

A moment later, the owner, an older dignified woman appeared carrying a small tray with drinks. "Hello gentleman," she said, smiling curtly. "I'm sorry we have no special for you today. Please accept these cocktails on the house."

Marv didn't hesitate but grabbed the elegant little glass with several ornate garnishes and a straw and sucked about half of it down at once. It did little, however, to cool his temper. "I don't believe you," he shouted. "Baldy over there at the next table just ordered the special. I heard him!"

The gentleman at the next table stiffened his spine but didn't turn around.

"I don't think the special would be to your liking, sir," insisted the owner. "I think you would prefer the steak. I can offer you a discount." Her voice dropped an octave, "Half off."

Marv's eyes narrowed and he puffed up his chest. "I DEMAND TODAY'S SPECIAL!" he screamed. Everyone in the restaurant stopped eating. It was deathly silent. Not even a fork dared scrape against a plate.

The owner smiled graciously and bowed. "Of course, sir. As you wish. And you sir?" She turned to Fred.

"I'll have the steak," he said. Fred stared at the ice cubes floating in his cocktail for what seemed like an eternity. He considered excusing himself to go to the restroom and leaving out the back door, but he couldn't stand the idea of everyone watching him. And he was afraid if he left Marv by himself things could get worse. 

Thankfully their meal came quickly. Fred's steak looked and smelled delicious. But when they placed a small, rather limp hamburger in front of Marv, Fred's heart sank. 

"Send the owner back out," Marv snarled at the waitress.

The owner returned arms crossed.

"Is this really the special?" he asked, picking up the burger and dropping it on the plate with a thud. 

"Yes, sir," replied the owner. "If you do not want it I'm happy to bring you anything else on the menu." 

"No," said Marv emphatically. "I want it!"

Fred and Marv ate in silence. Fred ordered a second cocktail because the tension was killing him. The drinks and the beef were both excellent however.  Feeling satiated, Fred relaxed a bit.

Marv on the other hand looked agitated and fidgeted in his seat. Soon he was scratching himself like mad. Then, to Fred's horror, large boils erupted over Marv's skin and he started frothing at the mouth. Fred flagged the waitress. 

"Miss, I'm afraid my boss is having an allergic reaction." 

The man at the next table leaned over. Fred noticed he was no longer bald but sported a long mane of hair. "No," he said, "it's not an allergic reaction. The special brings out the diner's inner beauty. It wasn't a good selection on his part."