As a young child I was social. So social I'm pretty sure I looked retarded, mainly because I went up to anyone and everyone and sliding up next to them acting like my shit doesn't stink and said the cringe worthiest thing ever 'hi I'm Susan. Wanna be friends' I'm pretty sure I made them uncomfortable because they all said yes. But by making friends this way, I didn't make any friends at all, not really. None of them cared to know me, or wanted to talk to me. I was their friend when it was beneficial. It didn't hurt my feelings at the time, because I didn't know about it. I thought I was the top shit with all the friends I made, when I was really the laughing stock. The realization didn't sink in until later, so I guess I was being retarded.
When I reached 3rd grade I forced my eyes to open. This happened when I was bullied, not the first time I was, but the first time I cared. It wasn't bad, I mean, it is a 3rd grade girl... but the bitch got her mother who volunteered at the school to shit on my parade. This girl had the biggest stick up her ass, I'm pretty sure she had to go to the ER to get it removed. She made me cry like a baby, and I had no control over it. That's because I'm a wimp and a pacifist, two things that lures assholes towards you.
Then I went with my dad. This place was fucked, you see I'm white, as white as paper, no I'm not, I'm a little tan, so I'm as white as sand. And everyone was African American, it's not a bad thing, I had no problem with it, but I was the only white person, this caused problems, I was constantly bullied and harassed. I was treated like dog shit, no one wants you there, or to pick you up, but they have to. I cried a lot internally and I started crying softly at night again. I was the only person to pick me up. I had to be the doctor and the patient, and it was hard, I wanted to call quits and just break down. But I liked having dignity so I picked myself up anyway. I started self hate and bullied myself, I didn't need the older kids anymore. It seems I did the dirty work for them. You see, when you make yourself cry, you know your pathetic. There is no way out of that. I felt so stupid at the time, I was in third grade and a retard, I couldn't read, I couldn't tell time, I couldn't tie my shoes, I couldn't eat on my own. I was a baby still, I was neglected, and I felt I was only neglected because I'm a burden.
That was then the sad feelings came back. When my urges to end it crawled into my brain like a spider, those damn things. And everything became unbearable when I reached 4th grade.

A/N
There will be a part two, but it won't focus on friends as much. Also as you saw in this chapter, there will be more cursing, and more depressive moments
So get ready for that I guess.