TWENTY-REVEN

Malsa – Sunday, December 13, 1964

I am fifteen years old today, and it is the worse day in my life. Only five kids attended my birthday party. There are forty-five youth my age in the church and community. I heard some adults say that I was not better than a piece of trash, and they would not let their teenagers play with me. Often, I would hear some of the kids snicker and make fun of me.

I went to my room, pulled the covers over my head and wept. My Momma and my Daddy to be came to my room and put their arms around me. Both said that I was one of the most amazing girls in the world, affirming that my accomplishments far exceeded most adults.

I appreciate what my parents are saying, but it was like a kick in the gut from everyone else. The only time as bad as this was when I was kidnapped and raped.

I suppose I should be happy. The women at work had a birthday party for me. Recently I was voted to be the Junior Vice President (JVP).

Our previous JVP was getting married and moving to the United States. We are a workers co-op. As a result, any changes require the employees to approve it. I did not seek the position, nor want the job. I was happy with what I was doing. I had been a recluse before my adopted Mom chose me to be her daughter.

She does not make me go to church giving me the option to go to another church or not to go at all. Doing either would be running away from my problem. I am not a quitter. She loves the church, but I do not want to go where I am not welcomed.

Mom has taught me the little things in

life makes a tremendous difference. Smelling the flowers is one of the most important. It is richer than having a big bank account. Watching the grandeur of the mountains and the majesty of the stars is free, but gives you peace and serenity. The smile of a child is splendor. Faithfulness of a dog brings enjoyment beyond reason.

One day Seebhabe, Bobby III and Leanna were playing with the dog. My curiosity arose about the dog's name. They apprised me that his name was Dog or Maa (หมา) in Thai, but usually the canine was called by his English name. Thus, everyone called him Dog.

Dog was usually poked, punched, pushed, pried, prodded and pulled. None of these were provoked with malice, malevolence, miserliness, mischievousness or meanness. Right now, Dog had a rope tied to his collar. The other end was attached to a little blue wagon. Dog tugged the conveyance with pride and love while all three rode, laughed and had fun.

My mom has a tendency toward anger. She has never displayed fury with Seebhabe or me. On the other hand, she has been outraged at the slightest provocation. Especially where her fiancé, Bobby, is involved. The poor guy does not know when she will blast him next. He loves her in spite of her temper.

When she displays her rage, Momma loses control. It causes her to become a different person. The instability creates confusion and produces unreasonable expectations. What the disorder yields is an insane reaction to her ability to regulate the way she feels.

She is mad at some of the people in the church because of the way they have treated me. She said she was going to straighten them out. The way they treated her family was unprovoked and cruel.

I pleaded with her to keep her calm when speaking to the church. That means smile, be truthful and do not demonstrate your nasty side. She looked intently at me for a moment, grinned, and quizzed, "How did you become filled with common sense?" "You taught me Mom, and set the example."

She relaxed, looked at herself in the mirror and beamed. Her ability to conquer the world was part of her agenda. She was ready for action and her confidence level was at its highest point!

Both of us went to church. At the end of the service she raised her hand, and asked the pastor for permission to share some personal thoughts with the congregation. Then she flashed him a big grin. He invited her to the pulpit to use the mike.

"Recently my daughter reminded me that the Thai way was Jesus' way. You see, I was outraged. This prompted me to want to fight with several people. My daughter told me to settle down and speak pleasantly. That has affected me to attempt to do it God's way."

Momma continued, "Let me tell you about a little girl almost fourteen years old. Two kidnappers were attempting to abduct her, when her grandfather intervened. The abductors killed him before her eyes. They locked her up in a little room where she had shackles around her ankles and cuffs about her wrists. They ripped off her clothes and beat her almost to death.

Then they shot her full of drugs. They laid her motionless body on a bed elevated by a show stage. About thirty men took turns raping her while the rest of them watched and cheered. She had no choice. The beatings and raping continued daily until a rescue team led by my cousin John freed her. Her name is Malsa, my daughter." Almost all the congregation gasped while they were crying.

Momma went on, "When I met Malsa she was a total recluse. She had no friends, no family and she kept to herself. I began bringing her to this church. She started to bloom because a few people in the church hugged her and told her that they loved her. She believed that and thought this was the best place in the world" My mother was screaming. Not an angry voice, but in a preaching tone.

My Mom shouted, "I believe God healed her." All but a few women said, "AMEN! Her innocence was stolen from her." Momma lingered on every word as she spoke, "I supposed Jesus saves little girls like Malsa, and makes all things new. The Bible has told me this, because Jesus loves Malsa." Those in attendance bellowed, "Amen, Praise God, and Hallelujah."

My Mother added quietly, "There are some here that have made caustic and ugly remarks purposely within our hearing. Others have told their children not to go to my beautiful little girl's birthday party, because she is nasty.

I do not understand why they would do that. I believe the devil was talking. I informed her that if she wanted to go to another church I would go with her. I also divulged that if she stayed home from church, I would support her. I did not say this to get sympathy. The Bible tells us the truth will set us free."

Mae Sua stood, and said, "I am amazed that you have had to suffer that here. If you two decide to leave, I will go with you." Rakha, Ling Noy, Nang Chom and fifty others claimed they would leave with Mom and me. The pastor declared he would go with us.

One woman about forty stood up and shared, "I want to apologize to Malsa and her family, asking God for forgiveness for being so cruel and inconsiderate. I beg you not to leave the church." Three women silently exited the rear of the sanctuary.

I was proud of my Mom. She kept her cool. She gained the respect of the church. The three women that slipped out the back have not ever returned. Hopefully, redemption will come through honesty and repentance.

Through Mom's love I began to feel good about myself again. I realize that I was not the only one hurting at the Garment Factory. I wanted to share that love with others. When one sews kindness and love, she will reap the same. What I have learned from my mother is not to be overbearing or a know-it-all, but to use gentle loving care with patience.

I am glad Momma picked me to be her daughter. I have the best and smartest little brother in the world. At four, he can read and write English and Thai. When he reads a preschooler's book, he does it with passion, emphasizing each word and adding drama for effect.

Mom's fiancé, or my soon to be dad, is kind and gentle. You would not expect that from the toughest fighter in the free world. His little boy and girl have already embraced me as part of their family. Even Dog has received me into the family when he stood on his hind legs, put a paw on each of my shoulders and licked my face.

Along with that, Rufus and Martha have told me to call them grandpa and grandma. I have gone from no family to the greatest family a girl can have. I am truly blessed.

Learning the give and take of family life has been difficult, but the rewards have far over-shadowed the loneliness I experienced previously. Within me is one grateful girl. Joy overflows in my life.

I understand there is much to learn, but with my family it will be a pleasure. What is learnt at home, through my mother applies in the work place. Anything that is appreciated comes from my ability to think and act with unselfishness, sharing and understanding. Not that you would find me to be the best example of any of these, but at least it has caused me to try. Perhaps with an interval of time, I will be a better person.

The girl that was in me no longer exists. A new me has erupted. That creates a want to do my finest work.

Any wisdom that touches me comes by watching others. When success is observed, I learn what to do. As soon as failure is witnessed from my point of understanding, it permits me to consider the things not to be put into service.

My new father is Bobby Olander. He has taught by example that it takes directed and focused work to achieve the highest level in any field in life. Also, it takes intelligence to know if you are on the correct path.