Dante

"I'm hungry." Micheal says as if I just needed to know.

I switch the channel in irritation. "You're always fucking hungry. Go make a sandwich or something. Or better yet, get the hell out."

Mike has been camped out in my house for a week now. He claimed he was doing this 'for me', saying he didn't want me to go out and do something stupid. Which I wasn't going to do.

Right now, all I wanted to do was smoke a bunch of weed and eat a bean and cheese burrito as I watched Me Before You. But I couldn't do that since I was trying to quit smoking because of Diana and Mike wouldn't leave me alone for more than an hour.

"Yeah, but it's so far." He groans

Lazy motherfucker.

I get up and walk to the kitchen. "I'm only making this so you can get the hell off my couch."

Plus, I was actually hungry myself. I hadn't cooked a lot since the wedding. Infact, I hadn't cooked anything since the wedding. I only cooked when I was happy and the last time I was happy was when I was with Diana the day before the wedding.

I decided to make soup. Taking the tomatoes and the cutting board, I grab a knife and begin cutting. On the second chop, I accidentally cut myself.

"Fuck." I mumble, wiping the blood that was starting to appear.

"You alright bro?" Mike asks, still facing the television.

"Yeah, I'm good."

I didn't like blood in the kitchen. It messed up my whole process. Diana always made me wear these itchy blue gloves when I was cooking because she was all about safety first. It annoyed me because I hadn't hurt myself in a while, so I didn't understand why I was now. The only time I wasn't hurting myself was when I'm with Diana.

I pause and stare at the knife with a smile.

When I'm with Diana! That's it, you fucking idiot!

That's what I needed! I've been looking for something to convince me these feelings weren't fake and this was it.

I drop the knife and hurriedly rush to Mike. "I gotta go. You can handle yourself, yeah?"

Mike raises his head up in concern. "You good? What's going on?"

"Yeah, I gotta go, like now. I fucked up badly. You can stay here, right?"

"Yeah, what going on t-"

"Thanks man!" I reply, grabbing my keys and rushing to my car. Soon I am on the road. Going faster than I should be, I glance behind me now and then to make sure I am going the right way.

In less than ten minutes, I reach her house. After locking the car, I jog up to the door.

"Dante?" she says opening the door, with a confused expression.

I step inside and sit on her couch as my head feels as though it is on a rollercoaster or something.

"You're Diana's best friend, right?"

She stands in front of me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and I can tell she has just woken up.

"Yes. And I shouldn't be talking to you. It's girl code." she replies, folding her arms.

"This is important. I need your help Lilah."

"Lily! My name's Lily!"

Shit, I need to remember that.

I rub my knuckles and my hands sweat. "Right, sorry. Lily, does Diana actually, you know?"

"Actually what?"

"You know, the L word. "

"Lactose?" She responds and sits on the couch across from me.

"Dammit, Lily, don't make me say it."

She smiles, "Love?"

"Yeah, does she actually?"

She couldn't, possibly. No way.

"Does she actually love you?"

"Yeah."

"Why yes, of course! I've never seen her face light up the way it does when she talks about you. She's actually sharing her feelings with me now!" She says cheerfully.

I am dumbfounded by her response. "But how? How could she possibly love me? I don't get it."

"There's tons of things to love about everyone!"

I see why they were best friends. They were complete opposites. It was as if I was talking to a unicorn in the flesh or something. She was just so damn cheerful.

I lean closer, "Look uh I think I... you know… Diana."

Her smile only grows wider. "You what?"

"I L word her. Like a lot." My eyes grow wide, "Lily I fucking L word her!" I shout and stand up, realizing what I have just said.

Holy fucking shit.

"I L word her, Lily! Oh my fucking god I L word her!"

She stands up with me, "Well, why didn't you tell her!"

"Because I didn't understand. I couldn't understand why she could love me and I was scared alright!" I wipe the sweat from my head at this. "This shit is scary, Lily. Caring about people, listening, feelings, emotions, all of that. It's fucking terrifying."

But I L word her. So it doesn't matter. I'll deal with it happily.

I smile softly, "But Diana is worth it."

"Well then, what are you still doing here?"

"You're right. Come on, Lily. We gotta go." I stride to the door, expecting Lily to follow behind me.

"Oh, okay. Let me just grab a few things." She replies instead.

She goes to another room and I stand at the door waiting for her. Taking a glance around, I see nearly everything is bright. Bright orange couches. Light blue tables and chairs. Even the stand she had the living room television on was red.

Minutes later, I hear her scream and run in the direction she went. When I reach her room, I open the door and nearly puke at the side. A man's dick stares right at me.

I should have minded my own business.

I cover my eyes with my arm and face the other way, "Goddamn I didn't know you got down like that Lily!" I swallow the vomit that is trying to escape.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She squeals. I hear her tell the guy to put his clothes on. He says he'll see her after work and when I hear him coming to the entrance, I move away as far as possible. Once he is completely gone, I move back inside her room.

"You can open your eyes now." she says

I open them cautiously, making sure the coast is clear. I move my arm and glare at Lily. She laughs and walks past me. I follow behind.

"You look funny when you glare. Your forehead kind of like sinks in."

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting to see another man's penis when I walked in, Lily." I reply as we make it to the car.

She puts her bright yellow purse on the seat next to her. Lily buckles up before closing the door.

I start the car and she turns to me with a frown. "Put your seatbelt on sugar."

I follow her instructions. And when she sees it is fully on, she smiles.

"I forgot he was here." She says as I begin driving. She leans closer and giggles, "But I definitely didn't forget what we did last night."

I pretended to puke before speaking, "I didn't need to know that."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She blushes and giggles again. "It's just I've never done that before since last night. I feel like a new woman."

"Tmi, Lily."

"What's that?"

"What you just told me. Too much information. I don't need to know about you getting laid."

"Well then, what shall we talk about?"

"We could t-"

"I know! Nicknames!"

"Nicknames?" I ask, puzzled.

"Yes. Everyone needs a nickname," She rubs her chin, "Your nickname is… Bear!"

"Bear?"

"Yes. You're like a big bear. You look mean and scary on the outside, but on the inside you're a warm little sweetie pie."

I shake my head in disapproval. "No. No, you're not calling me bear."

"Why not?"

"Alright, what if I call you, Bug?"

She smiles, "Why?"

"Because you make me want to step on you."

Her smile falls, and she responds, "Well, that's not very unique."

I laugh as we get close to the tattoo shop, "Okay, what about ladybug. Because you make me want to step on you, but you're not as bad as a bug, so I won't."

She nods in approval. Stopping the car, Lily picks up her bag and we get out. Walking in the parlor, the tattoo artist makes me sit on the chair and ask what I want. I tell her a Koala and after wiping my arm she begins.

I wince at the pain and Lily kneels and holds her hand out. "Do you want me to hold your hand?"

What am I ten?

Despite the glare I give her as a response, she stands up and reaches in her purse. Then, after taking out a small teddy bear, she tells me it is for stress. I hesitate before accepting it. I squeeze on it tightly as the artist draws the Koala. When it is finally done I pay her and soon we are back in the car on the way to our next destination.

"Why did you get a koala?" asks Lily

"That space on my arm is empty. Why not fill it with something meaningful?"

She still only stares at me causational and I smile.

It was a good thing the Jewelry store was next to the tattoo parlor. We are there in no time. Lily starts to squeal as she closes the car door.

"It's because it's Diana's favorite animal, isn't it?"

I smile, "Mm-hmm." I reply, as we walk inside the jewelry store.

I am instantly met with lights shining. Most of it from the rings. Gold, silver, and every other kind of jewelry fills the shop.

A salesman asks me some questions and after answering, he leads us to an area with rings in my price range. I stare at them, confused, not having a clue of which one to get.

There were so many of them. How was I supposed to know which one Diana liked? I didn't even know I was proposing until about an hour ago.

But it didn't matter. I wanted to be engaged to Diana for real. We didn't have to get married next month, or next year. Hell not even in three years, I just wanted her to mine. For real this time. Because I L word her.

We look around for about thirty minutes. I pick up a silver one but Lily puts it back and shoves another in my face.

"This is the one! This is the one!"

I take a closer look at the price and shake my head furiously.

"Hell no! Do you see how much this costs?"

She moves it closer. "Just think of Diana. Isn't she worth it?"

"Eight thousand dollars is a hell of a lot of money for a ring though."

"Diana, Dante, Diana!"

"Eight thousand dollars, Lily! Eight thousand dollars!'

"You broke her heart, Bear. Think of this as your last chance." She takes the ring, holding it balled up in one hand and an empty hand balled up.

"Diana." she holds out one fist, representing Diana. "Money." She continues, holding out the other fist.

I look further at the ring and see it is actually real nice. It had a rose gold color, a tear-shaped diamond and to complete it, round diamonds and  marquise-shaped diamonds on each side.

"Diana." She says, holding the fist out again. "Mo-"

"Alright, goddamnit, give me the fucking ring, Lily." I grumble, taking the ring from her. Lily squeals again and begins jumping up and down.

~~~

It was three in the morning and I had just cleaned my backyard, removing anything that wasn't the flowers that had been growing.

The food was cooked to perfection. I made sure everything Diana liked was set out. Despite everything being ready, I was still nervous.

I turn to Lily who is hanging up the sign. "I think I should just ask in a normal way. I don't even know if she'll say yes." I scratch my head. "Should probably just take her to a restaurant or somewhere expensive." I mumble.

Lily gets down from the ladder and follows me back inside.

"No, no, no. Don't start. She's going to love it. Diana wants something meaningful and unique. A normal one isn't that. "

She steps back at everything and smiles widely, "Perfect." She says proudly.

I follow her actions. The flowers move lightly from the soft wind and I smile.

Perfect.

•••

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