Nathan stepped over the threshold and halted.  Not paying attention, Jaxon almost toppled into the back of him. 

"Wow, heads up next time Nate."

"Sorry, I was just thinking if I should make a phone call first."  Nathan pondered on calling Dr De-Luca.  Rayne struggled with change, that much he understood. Perhaps it would be wise to seek his advice first. 

No.  Find her and see how the land lay.

It puzzled Jaxon.  Not sure of the logic behind Nate making a phone before checking up on Rayne.  Irritation, like pins pricked his thoughts.  "I'm sure your phone call can wait Nate.  See if Rayne's okay first." His tone clipped.

"What?" Nathan turned to face him.  "No, the phone call, it's about Rayne and her—" He stopped himself, unsure how much information to depart to his brother.  Although it surprised him, their mothers hadn't said more.  He truly seemed clueless.  "Make yourself at home. Kitchens' through there. This shouldn't take long."

Nathan headed to the first floor.  Diverting left towards their bedroom. The door was open, but she wasn't there and everything looked in order. "Rayne?"  Was that a sniffle he heard?  

The on-suite. 

Walking over to the door of their on-suite, he cursed when he noticed he hadn't removed his shoes.  Shit!  Kicking them off before softly knocking on the door.  "Rayne, sweetheart.  It's me, Nathan.  May I come in?"

Rayne caught the tap of the door.  Heart racing; a hard lump formed in her stomach.  He would take one look at her and know she was dirty.  A Whore.

He tapped again.  "Rayne, I'm aware my brother turning up unannounced has thrown your routine. But sweetheart, it's okay."

Her routine!  She had completely forgotten about her routine.  Distracted by what she had experienced downstairs—what she'd felt.

"Please let me in Rayne.  I just want to talk to you, hold you.  I can promise it will make you feel better. And if that doesn't work.  I can call Dr De-Luca; I'm sure he will help fix this."

He waited.

Rayne pushed herself up from the floor.  Time for honesty, it would be wrong to lie.  As her mother said.  She was dirty.  He needed to know how dirty she was.  How she would never be good enough for him.  She didn't deserve such a good man.  Slowly she turned the handle and opened the door. The lump in her stomach expanded.

"Sweetheart."  Nathan's heart melted at the sad look that sat upon her beautiful face.  Her eyes puffy from crying, face as grey as ash.  He observed her shuffle from foot to foot, one fist clenched tightly, the other hand rubbing her denim shorts relentlessly.  It drew his attention to the purply blue marks to the top of her thigh, wondering how she could have acquired such injuries. He would question as soon as he knew she was okay.

Quickly assessing the rest of her, he couldn't help but think she looked a picture of cuteness in those shorts and vest.  Any other time he would have teased her out of those shorts and ate her right where she stood.  Now was not that time.  But he made a mental note to ask her to wear that same outfit—too sexy for doing chores.  He stepped closer, drawing her into an embrace.  Kissing the top of her head.  "Rayne, sweetheart.  What happened?"

It was an auto-reaction to stiffen.  Hating the very idea that she would cause Nathan pain.  And no doubt he would hate her, ask her to leave.  She deserved nothing less.  One... two...three...four...five...six.

Nathan inhaled the sweet smell of her hair, running his hand up and down her spine, soothing, hoping she would relax.  The exact opposite occurred. Rayne stiffened, almost rigidly before pushing herself away from him.  "Shall I call Dr De-Luca?"  He panicked, Rayne had never fought against his touch.

Rayne shook her head.  Fresh tears fell.  Dirty. Dirty. Whore.  Pulling further away from him, she wrapped her arms around herself tightly for comfort.

He didn't like this, not one bit. How could he offer comfort if not by his words or touch?  What should he do for the best?

Standing awkwardly, she couldn't put it off any longer.  Twisting her head, Rayne saw the box sat on the bedside table.  Walking towards it, she ran her finger across the smooth exterior, opening it.  The beauty of the ring still elicited a flutter in her stomach. Sighing, undeserving of the beautiful ring that had been hers for a short time.  She didn't deserve Nathan.  Closing the lid, she turned and walked towards him.  Strangely, she didn't count out the steps, focusing on the feel of the plush cream carpet beneath her feet.  "Here, I need to return this."  Holding it palm out, it was too painful to look into those green eyes she adored.

The fuse lit, Nathan's heart exploded.  What in gods' names was she doing?  "Rayne." His tone was sharper than intended.  Her head remained down.  "Look at me, Rayne." His command made her jump, compelling her head up.

"Talk to me, Rayne.  I know Jaxon turning up today will have thrown you.  Upset your routine.  But I hope you're not thinking what I think you are?"

More tears fell.  "I-m—" she stumbled, her breathing staggered.

He watched her chest heave and fall, waiting patiently, wanting her to trust him, talk to him. 

Rayne calmed her breathing, standing straighter.  "I'm dirty, Nathan.  My mother was right all along.  I don't deserve you.  You deserve someone so much better than me—someone who isn't sick, dirty. Who isn't a—" whore.

What?  He observed her pouty lips move but couldn't understand what he was hearing. She may as well be speaking Spanish.   Shaking his head.  He tried to piece together her ramblings.  She thought she was dirty—how could she think such a thought?

Motherfucker!  Rayne had talked little about her mother.  But he was aware she'd treated Rayne cruelly, and the temptation to track her down and throttle her was never far from his thoughts.  "Rayne." He took half a step closer. 

Rayne stepped back.

This had to stop.  Stay Calm. "Your mother knows nothing about you.  About us.  You are not dirty.  And you must not think such thoughts.  You are my fiancée and as long as there is a sun in the sky, mark my words Rayne Winters, I'm never letting you go."

Her bottom lip trembled. Continuing. "I will make sure no one ever turns up unannounced again.  This is a problem I can fix.  Rest assured—no one will upset you again."  He took the box from her hand and walked towards the table, returning the box before trudging back to her.

Rayne's heart thumped erratically, as she swiped away tears. He still thought it was about her routine... her chores?  She had to tell him, tell him her dirty truth.  How sick she really was.  "This is not about my chores, Nathan." Delivering the words swiftly, without hesitation or lacking conviction.

One...two...three...four...five...six.

It confused Nathan.  Holding out his hands, pleading. "Then what is it?  Talk to me. Let me fix it, Rayne."

The words rushed out.  "I answered the door to your brother!"  Her eyes widened. "He held my hand."  She hoped he would understand.  "And it just happened!"

Inching closer, aching to touch her, his heart beating from his chest. "What happened Rayne?"

She cupped her cheeks; her face burning beneath them.  "He touched me Nathan!"

Nathan's eyes widened. "What? Jaxon touched you?" His stomach knotted. Had his brother hurt her? He stared at the marks of her leg. Hands now clenched into fists, the very thought of someone—anyone hurting his Rayne-drop.  "He hurt you!? Jaxon—"

Rayne shook her head.  "No, no, of course not.  You don't understand." She held out her hand for him to see. "My hand in his, he held it.  And I—"  Bringing her hand quickly down to her side, she rubbed it frantically against the fabric of her shorts.   "It was the same feeling when you first touched me...I felt something."

He breathed a sigh of relief; Jaxon hadn't hurt her.  Despite that, he wasn't sure where she was heading. "What are you trying to tell me, Rayne?"

"I was attracted to him, Nathan—your brother!" she exhaled exhausted; her head flopped forward as if just finishing a marathon.  Not wanting to see the look of horror or disgust on his face, she clamped her eyes shut as more tears escaped.

Relief swept through him like a brushfire.  He stepped towards her, lifting her chin.  "Hey, hey.  Look at me."  Swiping away her tears.  "It's okay, Rayne.  I'm not mad with you."

She pushed back, away from his touch, bumping into the wall behind her.  "No, it's not alright.  Don't make excuses for me, Nathan.  I'm sick. How can I be attracted to your brother when I have you?" Hiding her face with her hands, she spoke in a low tone.  "Please don't look at me...there is something seriously wrong with me."

"Hey, hey, hey."  Flush against the wall, no escape, Nathan boxed her in with his own body. Removing her small hands, clasping them tightly. Watery eyes stared back. "Sweetheart, this isn't a bad thing." 

She was surprised.  He wasn't upset—how could he not be upset?  Studying his face, no look of horror or disgust was present.  "You don't think I'm dirty?"  A whore?

He drew a long breath. "No, sweetheart.  Any other man, yes, I'd be upset—fuming.  But not Jaxon—It's not a bad thing to be attracted to Jaxon.  Everyone says we look like twins."  He smiled, running his thumb across her damp cheeks, offering his reassurance.

Bewilderment and relief swam in her grey eyes.  "Yes, I agree you are similar, but I can see a distinction. There are lots of differences."

"Come sit," he took her hand and led her to the edge of the bed.  Sitting, he pulled her on his lap, kissing her shoulder. 

"You're not angry with me...want me to leave?" Still wary of his reassurances.

"Sweetheart.  You're never allowed me to leave me... ever.  Understand this, Rayne.  You are my first thought when I wake and the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep."

The knot of tension in her stomach unravelled. "I'm sorry, Nathan."

"No.  Stop apologizing.  There is nothing to be sorry about.  I honestly don't mind you being attracted to Jax." He paused, unsure if he should explain a few things.  "I can't explain it well—yet.  But I'm not upset Rayne.  And it's not a bad thing.  We can't help who we are attracted to.  Remember what I said?"

She looked at him questioningly.

"There is to be no shame between us, Rayne."

Her heart swelled. "Nathan.  I'm so lucky that you love me."  She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.  "I love you so much, Nathan."

He smiled as her small body brought the warmth of the sun to his.  "I love you too, sweetheart.  Now can you do something for me?"

She pulled back, nodding.  "Yes.  Anything. Anything to make you happy."

"Good.  I want you to freshen up, change and come downstairs where I can properly introduce you to my brother."

Her face fell, the feelings of doubt returned.  Could she face him, lead herself in murky waters.  "Are you sure that's wise?"

"Ah ah, ah.  Didn't you just say, anything I wanted?"  He pulled her closer and kissed her nose."

She nodded.  "I did."  Feeling slightly pensive.  "Okay."

"Good girl. Now up, up, up."  She got up from his lap.  "Go on, freshen up." He playfully slapped her ass, to hear her yelp before that shy smile he loved so much adorned her lips.  "And I'll be downstairs with Jaxon.  And remember Rayne, I love you.  Never forget that."

~ ~

Nathan found Jaxon sat in the kitchen having helped himself to a coffee.

"Hey, is she—Rayne okay?" The strange feeling of protectiveness returned, compressing his chest. 

Nathan smiled; he could see that Rayne already influenced his brother.  "Yes, she'll be fine."

"Did you tell her I was sorry and that I had no intention of upsetting her?"

"She knows, believe me she knows."

Nathan pulled a cup from the cupboard and poured himself a coffee sitting opposite Jaxon.  "She'll be down as soon as she's freshened up and changed.  And I will introduce you both properly." He raised a questioning brow.

Jaxon rubbed his hand across the back of his neck.  "Yeah, about that."

Nathan leaned back in his chair.  "Yeah, want to tell me why you tipped up, when you knew I wouldn't be here?"

"I've been away so long and so many changes.  I just needed to see for myself.  See what your life is like now." Looking directly at Nate, he saw no signs of anger.  "The house looks great, man."

Nathan understood, nodding.  He too missed their closeness.  "Well, now your back.  I'd like for you to get to know Rayne, she's special to me Jaxon."

Jaxon could clearly see the affection his brother had for Rayne.  Unguarded and warm.  Nothing like he'd ever witnessed with Nicole.  "So, want to tell me more about Rayne and what happened?  I don't want to upset her again."

Nathan took a sip of coffee before placing the cup down on a coaster.  He smiled at how Rayne had him trained.  In her eyes to place a cup on the table directly was akin to an earthquake.  Shit! Seeing Jax hadn't used one, he grabbed a free coaster and placed it under Jax's cup. 

"What the hell man, when did you become domesticated?" laughed Jaxon.

Nathan grinned. "Best way to describe it. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD.  Rayne has routines, likes everything a certain way, perfect... in order.  Cups on coasters." He tapped his coaster.

"Isn't there something to fix that...like a pill or something?" enquired Jaxon.

Nathan had these same thoughts when they first met. "Yes, there are but each one she tried had side effects and Rayne wants to continue working through therapy, exposure therapy being one.  And..." he was unsure if he should say anything about her past.  "Rayne suffered at the hands of her family... abuse.  But she's not ready to open up fully—yet.  And I don't want to push her."

Anger coiled like a rattlesnake in Jaxon's gut.  How anyone could think of hurting Rayne was beyond him. It would be akin to kicking a kitten.  "Damn, she's young too."  Jaxon took a sip of his coffee. He had to ask. "Don't take this the wrong way, man.  But how old is she?"

Nathan couldn't hide his smirk. "She looks young, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, really young...like jailbait young."

Unoffended, Nathan shook his head. "She's actually twenty-five.  Soon to be twenty-six. Birthday is in a few weeks."

Phew, that was a relief.  Jaxon nodded; six years didn't sound too bad.  "Man, I thought you were cradle snatching when I first set eyes on her."

Nathan let out a hearty laugh.  "Gee, thanks, brother." Their laughter quietened.  "I'm glad you're here Jax."

"Me too." And he was.