Jaxon inhaled the fresh ocean air. He truly loved to sail. The deck was his land and the sky above his ever-changing form of art. He has lost many hours sailing. But today, as the sun beat down and the gentle breeze cooled his skin, it wasn't the boat he manned that held his attention or soothed his thoughts. It was the small woman currently walking towards him, with a drink in her hand offering his parched throat a reprieve.

"Thanks." He took the glass and drank heartily.

They had been out on the water for over an hour but remained relatively close to the harbour. Not wanting to sail too far out to sea under the warning of weather changes scheduled for the afternoon.

Rayne looked up into the sky. "It's so beautiful."

"It is." but Jaxson heeded no attention to what the skies offered. 

Rayne sighed as her gaze pulled from the view towards Jaxon. "Thank you for letting me join you, Jaxon. It's so relaxing, peaceful. I can almost forget myself."

He adored the way she spoke his name, his full name. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he answered honestly.

The way he looked at her quickened her heartbeat, lighting a pit of fire inside her gut. She wondered if there was anyone special in his life but feared to ask. It was after all none of her business. 

Blinking the thought away, she returned her attention to the boat. "Is there anything else you would like to show me today?  I've learned how to raise the sails, the difference between front and back, sorry—bow and stern.  Oh, and how to avoid sea-sickness." Grinning at the last reference. Truthfully, Jaxon had given her a pill prior to their arrival.

"No, I think we can safely say your first lesson is complete." He grinned back. "You should relax, sunbathe." As soon as the words left his mouth, blood ran south.  For her to sunbathe would require her to remove clothing, revealing more of her smooth skin for his eyes to feast upon.  He swallowed slowly.

"That would be wonderful.  I'll get the towels from beneath the deck."  She looked over the boat for a suitable spot.  "Will there be okay?" She pointed to space on the front deck.

"Yes, anywhere will be fine." He released his held breath.  If she was at the front, then he could admire from afar without her noticing him staring. That was surely a sound plan... until.

"Will you join me—relax with me? You said you had nothing more to do whilst we're anchored here."

Damn, he had no reason not to, they had anchored, therefore nothing to keep him from relaxing.  "Sounds great." His voice tight, as the man downstairs twitched, requiring adjusting for the umpteenth time today.   Keep your hands to yourself.  She belongs to Nate —and only Nate.

Barely enough time for him to calm his improper thoughts, Rayne appeared before him.  He swallowed as his eyes travelled the vision in a dusky pink bikini. If he thought he could hide his erection now—well, he was sadly mistaken. Innocently standing before him, he devoured her creamy skin. Breasts barely covered, hidden under the thinnest of material which only aided to draw his attention to her erect nipples.   How much torture could one man endure? 

Apparently, the torture was nowhere near finished as eyes fed on the smooth indent of her waist leading him to the full curve of her hips—she was oasis just waiting for exploration, by his hands, his mouth, his dick.   

Fuck!

He quickly looked down when he realized he had been staring for much longer than appropriate.

"Everything okay, Jaxon?" she asked and came and stood next to him. He made the mistake of glancing her way to meet the valley of her breasts.  Fuck.  He repeated the mantra—she belonged to Nate. 

"I'm good, all good here." His tone a pitch higher, his dick throbbed.

"Great, I'll lay the towels out.  Join me when you're ready." 

She walked away as his eyes betrayed him again, zeroing on her beautiful ass swaying, those tender butt cheeks ripe for biting.  Fuck, fuck!   He inhaled three calming breaths.  Although the man downstairs clearly hadn't received the message that he wasn't needed.   She belongs to Nate.  He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, heaving a sigh as he made his way across the deck to join her. 

Sitting a little further away than necessary, he watched her scrunch her hair together and bunched it into a messy part ponytail, part bun. 

"Can you put some on my back please Jaxon?"

Jaxon looked bewildered for a moment.  As if fighting with himself.  Silence.

Rayne turned, wondering if he'd heard her. "I don't want to burn."  Holding up the cream.  "Jaxon?"

"What, yeah, sorry—sure." 

Rayne giggled, stretching to hand him the cream. "Come closer."  Smiling, she handed him the cream before twisting so her back was within reach.

Jaxon sucked in a breath.  He could do this.  Applying cream was normal, simple—right?

Spreading the cream handsomely on his enormous hands. He inhaled a large breath.

Under his firm hands she stiffened before breathing out, and relaxing under his touch.  "You may undo the straps if they're in the way."

What, no! Undoing the straps was the last thing he intended.  Was she trying to kill him? "No, we should be good." He swallowed a strangled groan.

"Hmmm, you have nice hands, firm yet gentle." A breathy sigh escaped her.

How wrong his was to think this would be easy. The small needy sigh from her full lips went straight to his cock.  Focus.    But his mind had other plans, greedily wandering her skin, aiding in his own torture... But oh my, how good her skin felt—like hot silk beneath his hands.  As Rayne leaned her head forward, his hand travelled up her slim neck.  A stark image of him holding her there whilst he fucked her hard from behind danced wickedly through his thoughts.  Fuck—could he get any harder? 

The torture had to end as he set about finishing his task, thinking about anything that other than the small women plundering his thoughts and stoking his desires.

Rayne turned around, shifting herself so she was now up on her knees in front of him.  "What about you?" she enquired innocently.

"What?" Once again, eye level with those heavenly breasts. Fuck!

"You—don't you want any cream applying?"

Throat dry, he stuttered. "Y-yeah." Obviously, she was thinking of his well being.

She waited, but he didn't move.  "You need to undress Jaxon?" she prompted.

Just the t-shirt.  It was difficult enough hiding his erection in shorts.  Perhaps he should take a swim?  But that would mean removing his shorts.  He would wait.

Jaxon reached behind his neck, yanking his t-shirt over his his to find her eyes wandering over his torso.  He observed her mouth slightly part, knowing facially him and Nate looked very much alike—but body wise.  Jaxon was heavily muscled with his torso decorated with tattoos.  He wondered if she found his body art repulsive.  From the look on her face, he wasn't sure.

Oh my.  He was a work of art.  Where Nathan had a swimmer's body, lean but still muscley, Jaxon was bigger...much bigger.   She had never seen a more toned or sculpted body in her entire life.  Surveying his many tattoos, she pondered their meaning.  They were beautiful.  "May I?" She pointed at his tattoo that he'd acquired when in New Zealand. 

He wasn't sure what she meant, cocking a brow.

Rayne smiled. "Sorry, touch it, I meant.  I've seen nothing like it."  So beautiful was its design, the flowing intricate detail that swept across his left peck, up across his shoulder, trailing just below his elbow. Hypnotised, not waiting for his response she Gently traced her finger across his peck, up towards his shoulder. "It's beautiful, Jaxon."

Jaxon shivered under her touch, watching her focus solely on him, her tongue peeking out to lick her bottom lip. "It's a Maori design." His voice tight as he desperately willed downstairs to take a vacation.

Raye felt him flinch beneath her finger, pulling away.  "Sorry. Did I hurt you?"

Jaxon shook his head. "What, no. I like you touching me." The words fell from his lips before his mind caught up.

Rayne dropped her hand. The closeness between them was suddenly thick, tense.  Sure, the air surrounding them had evaporated.  Lifting her confused eyes, she caught his warm whisky eyes.  A flash of something she recognized from Nathan—lust, pure and simple, devouring her whole.  Attempting to look away, they fell to his lips, full... kissable.  

Sucking in a breath, she almost fell backwards to catch herself, twisting around as she faced the ocean view.  Her heart beating madly, she brought her legs around and dangled them over the side of the boat.  The space now between them allowed her to breathe deeply.

The distance lasted only a second before Jaxon moved and sat next to her. 

"Everything okay, Rayne?"

Closing her eyes, she inhaled the warm sea air.  She was being silly. Seeing things, feeling things that obviously weren't there.  Act Normal.  "Yes, I'm good."  One... two... three... four... five... six.  Breathe. 

Twisting her head, so the sun was directly behind him, she shielded her eyes. "I'm having the best day.  Thank you, Jaxon.  It's honestly been one of best experiences ever and you're a brilliant teacher, so patient with me."   She returned her eyes to the ocean.

The swell of pride from her words stunned him.  She wouldn't see him smile or his eyes wander over her body.  But surely it wasn't bad if the view distracted her. So was he—a very different, more appealing view. 

As she parted her thighs slightly, she shifted her hands to either side, sliding them backwards, allowing her to rest on them, leaning back. 

Jaxon zeroed in on the strange bruising to the top of her thighs.  Words blurted out.  "What's happened there?" He pointed to her upper thigh.  "The bruises?" It was such a strange location to acquire injuries.

Raye sat up straight. Her hand shifted covering her bruised skin, the memory of her pinching herself, deflating her happy bubble.  "It's nothing." Shame engulfed her, twisting its claws, sinking deep.

The change was quick, like a dark cloud swallowing the sun. Godsdamnit!  He wanted to kick himself.  "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, Rayne. I'm too pushy for my own good."

"I did it to myself." Rayne couldn't fathom why the words left her mouth; she had never told this to anyone apart from Dr De-Luca.

His eyes widened, shocked by her openness.  "Why?"

Panicked, Nathan learning of her dirty secret was by far more terrifying than the weight of any shame she burdened. "Please don't tell Nathan, Jaxon.  He can't find out, I'm not ready—" 

"Hey, hey." He shook his head, reaching for her hand, threading their fingers together.  "I won't tell Nathan anything, unless you asked me. Okay? You can trust me, Rayne." He watched her bite her bottom lip, now sure of it a nervous trait rather than a flirty gesture.

Taking comfort from his hand, she trusted him.  Was it wrong to feel this comfortable with someone other than Nathan—and was it even worse they were brothers? She continued. "I struggle with change, especially if it interrupts my routine. I need something to distract me.  Counting helps... mostly.  But sometimes it's not enough to help with what's going on up here." She pointed to her head as she waited for a reaction from her words. 

A strange freeing sensation shunted across her shoulders, as if her unseen burden had been magically erased. She saw no disgust, no pity, only warmth and acceptance from his brown eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she once again turned her attention to the soothing ocean.  "When I cant control a situation, and I have nothing but unwanted thoughts and feelings. And no matter what I do, they seem to grow arms and legs, burrowing deeper, until I cant think or even breathe." She paused, tracing the bruises with her fingers. "Then I turn to the only thing I know will help—pain." Sneaking a side glance, his expression hadn't changed. "Pain helps distract me, refocuses me."

Jaxon's chest constricted considering the possibility this was his fault.  "Are they—those from yesterday?"

She nodded her head but didn't look at him. "Ah-hu."

"Was I to blame? Turning up out the blue?" That he could have caused her pain tore at his insides.  He wanted to protect her, never to cause her harm. His hand tightened into a fist before he forced himself to calm down.  She needed him to listen, understand best he could—not his frustration and anger at himself.

Rayne turned to face him.  His brow etched with concern.  She didn't want him to feel any blame for her actions. "No, no. Honestly—This isn't your fault, Jaxon.  This goes way back to before me and Nathan started our relationship.  It began—" she halted, knowing that those memories that she hid so well, were not welcome here, today.

Her hesitation drove his protective instincts into top gear.  "You don't have to tell me if it's too upsetting, Rayne."

She didn't know why, but the urge to confess became overwhelming.  Her gut told her she could trust Jaxon.  "My family hurt me in ways that I can't go into today.  And to escape the guilt and shame.  I hurt myself... small things at first." She heaved a staggered breath.

Jaxon without thinking shuffled closer, gently stroking his knuckle down her cheek. "It's okay, Rayne. I'm here." 

Rayne shivered, leaning into his touch.  She continued. "Pinching, biting—scratching until I bled. Just small things.  But then one day I cut myself." She lifted her arm to show the underside, normally undetectable at a simple glance.

Jaxon could see faint white lines, her pain clearly marked on her smooth skin.  His own heart beat wildly.  But remained quiet. His inner turmoil was a different story—he wanted to hurt those who had hurt her... Family, ha, how dare they be gifted such a title. Families loved and supported one another, not drove one to hurt themselves.

"Lucky for me, one day everything changed."

"And you stopped... hurting yourself?"

"The cutting stopped.  And with Dr De-Luca's help, I have reduced this."  She rubbed her hand over her bruises.  But sometimes it helps.  Pain... I can't explain it." Finally, she turned and looked at him head on.  "Whenever I hurt myself, I feel ashamed, dirty."  He surprised her. Reaching for her hand, lifting it to his mouth, planting six small kisses on her palm and wrist. 

His reaction to her declaration stirred something deep inside her.  A closeness she had only ever allowed herself with one other person—Nathan.

Keeping hold of her hand, they settled into a comfortable silence.  Something had changed between them.  A connection neither understood but felt all the same.

Rayne finally broke the silence. "I've never told anyone apart from Dr De-Luca. I don't know what made me tell you." Hoping he understood the implication, the weight behind in her words.

The revelation tightened his chest.  She had trusted him enough to share something she hadn't shared outside her therapy.  Honoured and troubled feelings fought for dominance.  Not sure of how to help—If he could help her. "Never be ashamed, Rayne.  We all cope in our own way.  No one has the right to judge.  And believe me when I say, Nathan would only want to help.  He wouldn't be angry." Knowing this to be true.  "Nate loves you. That much is very clear to see."

Rayne smiled.  "I love him too."

The ugly head of envy surged within him.  Once again, his brother held captive the heart of a woman he was drawn to.  A little voice in his head peaked through the strangeness.

But Nathan wasn't here...