Nathan's grin was as wide as the cat that ate all the cream as he surveyed her chest heave and fall, catching her breath.  His Rayne-drop had totally come undone in the moment of her orgasm and given herself over to him completely.  He found it both humbling and sexy in equal measures.

Rayne shakily pulled her legs together.  The loss of control was slightly unnerving as she swallowed, her tongue flicking out to wet her dry lips. Rational thought still not permitting her eyelids felt heavy.

"Let me sweetheart." Nathan stepped towards her to help her down from the counter.  Almost stumbling—her leaks were weak.  "Wow, steady.  I've got you beautiful—I won't let you fall."

She almost sighed as his strong arms protectively wrapped around her.  Blinking a few times, she lingered in his hold, his arms now tightly banded around her, offering her quiet, warmth and safety.  But that was about to change.

Kissing the top of her head, her posture straightened in his arms.  Understanding their moment had passed.  Time was of the essence, acutely aware he needed to act promptly and firmly.  He could virtually hear the motions of her mind churning. Moving his arms higher, he tightened his hold. "Rayne.  I need you to listen to me.  You are not to worry.  You are to go upstairs sweetheart, undress, shower, and I will clean up down here. Do you understand?" 

Alarm bells rang in her head.  "I—I can't Nathan.  I need to finish the bread. And look at the mess!" The dread in her voice was telling.  The pulse in her throat throbbed and her heartbeat thumped against his arm.

"Hey, hey, hey.  Listen to me Rayne.  This is not a problem. I need you to do as I've asked."  He kissed the top of her head.

"—But!"

Resting his head on the top of hers. His tone was firm but kind. "—No buts, beautiful, this is not a request."  Surprisingly, her posture softened, and she offered no dispute.  He continued. "The bread has been kneaded enough.  I will settle it in the bread pan you have sat ready and place in the pantry to rise overnight.  Then I will fix up down here and when you're finished, we can eat that amazing dinner that teased my tastebuds when I arrived home.  Yes?"

His confident instruction silenced her impulses. She nodded, not wanting to upset him with her distress.  He was right.  She needed to relax.  Only moments ago, she'd let herself go.  Gone to a place where she'd never been before. Peace had been within her grasp, and Nathan was to thank for that.  He was, as always, her anchor. "Thank you, Nathan."

He kissed the top of her head once more.  "Good, I can't tell you how happy you make me Rayne."

His words burrowed deep into her soul and her heart swelled beyond her chest cavity. "I love you, Nathan."

"I love you more, Rayne. More than I think you realise, sweetheart."

~ ~ ~

Almost two hours later, they had finished with dinner. Etta James serenaded them in the background as Rayne listened intently to his day. She loved hearing him chat so carefree, often reaching for her hand entwining their fingers.  He was more tactile in these moments and she treasured ever look, every touch he willingly offered.  And tonight, unexpectedly he was chatting enthusiastically and unguardedly about his childhood and the close relationship he shared with his brother, Jaxon. 

It surprised Rayne as he'd hardly spoken about Jaxon since they'd been together.  Although his affection for his brother was abundantly clear. As he spoke of their childhood pranks and driving their parents up the wall.  It was strangely accompanied by sorrow shimmering in his deep green eyes.  She wanted to ask what saddened him, but felt it wasn't her place... yet.

As Nathan paused to sip from his coffee cup.  An upsurge of something she didn't quite understand forced the words to leave her lips.  "When can I meet him... Jaxon?  I want to meet him."  And she did.  She was already in love with his mother or mothers and his father too.  They had welcomed her without question—wholeheartedly into the bosom of their family.  Rayne was sure this was how a family should be. Surrounded by love and acceptance.  Not like her very own family, cold and cruel in their affections.

Marcus, her brother's face splashed through her thoughts.  Her stomach rolled and quickly she banished the image.  Such things should not be dwelled upon.  Her mother and brother were part of her past.   Nathan and his family were part of her future.  

"I'm guessing he will be your best man—at our wedding."  Wedding—she hardly believed she would become Mrs Nathan Knight. Her eyes fell upon her stunning engagement ring, loving the way it sparkled under the ambient lighting of the softly burning candles.

Still holding the coffee cup to his lips.  He should have expected this.  Could he—should he delay their meeting? He would without a doubt have to introduce them before the wedding. A twinge of regret rolled around his stomach. It didn't sit well with his lasagne and dessert of heavenly chocolate dipped strawberry's.  Placing his cup down.  He reached for her hand, stroking over her knuckles.  "Soon sweetheart.  I'll arrange something soon.  I know he's going to love you, just like I do."  He hadn't meant to say the last part as he watched for any reaction from Rayne.  Seemingly his choice of words had neither affected nor surprised her, as she returned his smile.

About to say something else, his phone vibrated, pulling him from his thoughts.  Picking it up, he could see his father was calling.  "Sorry, sweetheart. I need to take this."

"Sure." Rayne nodded and smiled.  Rising from the table, she prepared to clear away the dishes in an orderly and timely fashion.

"Hey Dad—Hello?"  The call was lost, disconnected. Nathan lay his phone on the table and reached for his coffee.

His phone vibrated again as he answered via loudspeaker without looking, assured it would be his father.  "I lost you, where are you?"

"Well lucky for you, you found me.  Have you missed me... Sir? I've missed you."

Fuck!  Nathan would recognise that voice anywhere.  As if a ghosts' hand had run the length of his spine, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.  He lurched for his phone, removing it from the loudspeaker. "Give me a moment."

Rayne froze.  Without turning, she heard his chair scrape mercilessly on the teak wooden floor of their dining room.

"I'll take this in my study."  He left the dining area without further explanation.  Once safely inside his study, he addressed her directly.  "Dare I ask how you acquired this number, Nicole?"  His question was rhetorical, abrupt.

Nicole wasn't surprised by his reaction or tone but chose to ignore it.  "I wanted to apologize, Nathan."

"You already apologized, Nicole.  It requires no further explanation or conversation on the matter.  Therefore, I would appreciate it if you refrain from contacting me outside of business hours again."  Knowing the odds were not on his side, their paths would inevitably cross because of the close working relationship between their companies.

A sense of panic crossed Nicole's mind.  The moment was slipping from her fingers. It required swift action.  "Please, Nate.  I really miss you... miss us. It's devastating to Jax. I want to make this right between us. Jax has forgiven me and I am willing to do anything...beg even—"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "I have moved on Nicole. I suggest you do the same.  Goodnight." 

"Please Na—" she tried to implore.

Not willing to listen another second, he ended the call. Taking a few moments to compose himself, he returned to the dining room to find it already cleared. Only a string of smoke slithered from the cooling wick of the candles. Kitchen?

Rayne's fingers gripped the cloth tightly as she scrubbed the kitchen top. Her muscles as tight as a hangman's noose, her stomach in knots.  Attempting to occupy her mind on anything was difficult in itself. The seeds of doubt already sown. The words of the mystery woman's voice on the phone played on repeat. And the reaction it had spurred in Nathan as he'd rushed from the room to take the call in private. 

Who was she?  She missed him—Did he miss her? This unknown woman.

Sprouting roots, niggling doubt buried its way deeper into her thoughts.  She had given her heart to a man she knew very little about—other than what he chose to share.  But could she judge him by his secrets?   When she herself had told him hardly any of hers? Afraid he would think her damaged beyond repair or disgusting.

Once they see your darkness, daughter, like I see it.  Nobody will want you.  You're a dirty, dirty whore. You corrupt and hurt others. That's all you will ever be capable of.  The devil found a home in you my daughter. Mark my words, you're the devils whore and you will burn in hell.

Her mother's sour words pierced her heart.  Perhaps she wasn't good enough for Nathan—he deserved better than her.  She was dirty, damaged. She clenched her eyes tightly closed, fighting the swell of her restrained smothered emotions.  Cloth in one hand.  Without thinking. Her free hand lifted the edge of her clothing and ran her hand along her bare tummy, stopping at her waist she seized the skin between her fingers.  Just one sharp pinch to numb the thoughts.  Just one... 

Her eyes sprang open.  No! She released her skin. Clean—clean the mess.  One... two... three... four... five... six.

Nathan stood at the kitchen doorway, shifting on his feet, itching to touch her. His mind ran through the best way to move forward. Possible outcomes played out as Rayne busily cleaned.  She didn't acknowledge him. 

Honesty was needed.  Not wanting her to think this was anything to worry about.  "Rayne, I'm sorry I left to take the call in private. I don't know why I did that.  Her call caught me by surprise.  I apologize for how it could be perceived. It was thoughtless of me."

Rayne stilled. Four...five...six. She breathed out. "Who is she?"

Nathan sighed, walking towards the table, he pulled his chair out and sat down.  "Please, take a seat with me Rayne." He guested to the chair nearest to him.

Rooted to the spot, Rayne squeezed the cloth in her hand, biting her lip.  She wasn't finished yet.  Her breathing increased, unsure if it was her unfinished task or what he was about to tell her was adding to her anxiety.

Her posture spoke of her inner conflict.  The furrowing of her brow, the bite to her plump bottom lip.  He would not push any more boundaries today. The situation required a delicate approach.  "If you would rather continue your task, whilst I talk, that's fine Rayne." 

Rayne relaxed slightly; thankful he knew that she needed to finish her chore.  She silently counted, continuing to scrub the worktops as she waited for him to speak.

"Nicole and—" he paused.  Not wanting any secrets between them, worry tugged his mind, compelling him not to unveil the whole truth... tonight.  Full disclosure wasn't required, yet. "We were in a relationship for almost three years."  Pausing as she abruptly stilled. 

Her counting stopped and her hand paused. Three years? This woman had meant something to him and yet he had never once thought to mention her.

He waited until he was sure she didn't want to comment on his declaration. Continuing.  "That relationship ended not long before we met.  I haven't seen Nicole since, nor had any contact with her."  This was truthful.  "I don't know how she got my number or why she is contacting me now." He thought her excuse of needing to apologize was a flat out lie.  Nicole had never been apologetic, or remorseful of her actions.  Had his brother asked her to reach out to him?

The words tumbled from her mouth. "Did—did you love her?"

"No," he answered decisively. His gaze zeroed in on hers.  "It was never love Rayne.  I admit at the beginning I thought I could be in love with her.  But when I compare feelings.  The feelings I have for you.  I can clearly see there was never love between Nicole and I."  He couldn't say the same for this brother.

Relief relaxed her shoulders, satisfied with his answer.  But another question popped into her thoughts.  "Why did she call you sir?"  She thought it rather odd.

Fuck!  Nathan was unsure how to answer, deciding fifty percent disclosure was warranted.  "Rayne, there are still parts of me I haven't discussed with you... yet.  My relationship with Nicole was very different to the one I share with you.  I will one day share my past, but for now I ask for your trust and patience and in time you will know me inside and out."

Her mouth slightly parted, an ache deep in her chest. How to respond?  Why wouldn't he share it now?  What was he hiding?  Was this Nicole the reason he'd asked that they not announce their engagement to his family?

The distress and pain in her grey eyes hurt him more than he could imagine possible.  Wanting nothing more than to hold her tightly and reassure her his past was exactly that—the past. 

Understanding the importance of his next words, knowing they must hold weight and assurances. "You are my future, Rayne.  There will never be another.  I'm not hiding anything and I'm not trying to deceive you.  I'm just not sure how to explain it well enough."

His words seemed honest but more questions emerged, but not in her nature to push.  She would be patient, wait.  "Okay," she answered, returning to her task in hand.

He stood from his chair and walked towards her. She looked up as he was inches away and smiled hesitantly.  He cupped her cheek in his palm and she instinctively leaned into his touch.  "How about I get a movie ready and when you're finished here in the kitchen, we can relax?"

"That would be nice," absently replying as his warm lips captured hers.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A/N - I'm taking a break over Christmas.  Will start posting again weekly from the 6th January 2021.  For those that celebrate Christmas 🎄 I truly hope you have a wonderful time and those who don't - Happy Holidays!  🥳 Take care, Chrissy ❤️