Today, I thought about Kennedy and the day we burst into Harris Memorial because of Ellie's accident. I remembered how terrified Aiden was and how I had to keep myself together because he needed someone able to function by his side.

What I didn't think was that I'd be in the same situation, at the same hospital, struggling to breathe and paralyzed by fear, waiting for Harper, Alan, or Dec to tell me what the fuck happened to the love of my life.

"Jim."

Dec traversed the waiting area, holding two cups of coffee. They must've been from the green machine. My heart squeezed, and I looked at the ceiling before resting my gaze on his solemn face.

"What the fuck happened, Dec? She was okay when we talked. What. The. Fuck. Happened."

Dec glanced around the thankfully empty room and handed me the drink. I rested the cup on a plastic chair. I'd throw up if I tried to drink anything.

"She was taking long. I got worried and went into the business center. The elevators were out of order, so I took the stairs and saw her on the floor."

I rubbed a palm over my face. "What else?"

"She was unconscious. I called an ambulance and the cops and waited."

"The cops why?"

Dec ejected a tight-lipped huff. "It was weird, Jim. There was a tool cart there. Who the hell would leave something like that on the stair landing? Plus, the stairs looked slippery. I'll understand if you're mad. I should've shadowed her everywhere after what the PI told you."

My vision blurred. "I'm not mad at you. I'm thankful you were there. What did the cops say?"

"Nothing so far. They'll get in touch, but I told them about the black Sedan. Let's hope who you are speeds things up."

Who was I? A scared mess. Alan told me to wait, and that's what I'd been doing. But why the fuck didn't they let me see her? How bad was it?

The thud of someone's footsteps made me straighten my spine. Alan and Harper appeared in the doorway.

"Hope everything's okay," Dec whispered, resting a heavy hand on my shoulder. "I'll be here."

I walked up to Ava's father, who nodded at me and motioned to the narrow, brightly lit hallway. I followed him and his girlfriend to an office.

Once the door behind us closed, I leaned against it. "How is she?"

I didn't like the looks on their faces. It was like fucking pity. I didn't need pity because you only pitied those who lost something.

Harper twirled the engagement ring around her finger. "Asleep. We gave her something because she needed to rest. She has a concussion and a broken rib."

Pain titillated my every nerve. "And what about..."

The baby. Our son or daughter. Did Alan know? Fuck it. I didn't care if he did. To hell with the well-planned announcements. I needed to know the two of them were okay.

"I'm sorry, Jim," Harper whispered, glancing at Alan. "Nothing could be done."

It was as if someone ripped stripes from my heart. You didn't need to know someone to love them. And you didn't need to be of a certain age or have certain things to be excited about becoming a parent. We were fucking ready. Except now there was nobody who'd wear the tiny shoes, and I wanted to scream even though I didn't make a sound.

"She started bleeding when they brought her here," Harper went on. "I don't think the fall alone would've made Ava lose the baby, but she was bruised, so the impact must've been significant."

Dec's words popped up in my brain. The tool cart. Coincidence? Nothing was, and I was too oblivious. A fucking idiot.

"I want to see her," I said, wrapping my hand around the door handle. I wasn't asking for permission; just stating my intentions.

Alan buried his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. "Sure. Let's go."

Harper stayed behind, watching us leave with sadness etched into her expression.

For the first time, I didn't know what to tell my girl's father except to admit it was my fault. I was the one who played a show in front of thousands of strangers instead of being with her. I should've been by her side.

Several minutes of navigating narrow hallways later, Alan slowed next to what must've been Ava's room.

"Jim."

I lifted my eyes to his. "Yeah?"

"Ava knows. And she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. I'll stop by later."

Alan left, and I let myself in. The agony from before was nothing compared to seeing Ava curled in bed. A bruise covered her cheek, and my pulse ratcheted up just from imagining the ones under the hospital gown. I leaned down to kiss her and sat in a chair, watching her sleep.

I forbade myself to think about what could've been if someone's malice hadn't interfered with our happiness, but images would break through the cloud of guilt, making me close my eyes shut and grit my teeth while I wished for them to go away and stop torturing me.

"Jimmy."

Ava reached for my hand and squeezed my fingers with her cold ones. I brought them to my mouth and kissed each of them several times. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"No," she said in a hoarse whisper. "I'm the one who's sorry. It must've been the heels. I just," she drew in a quivering breath, "I was so clumsy, and-"

"Stop it. Please."

I stood and perched on her bed, smoothing my hand over her back. "Where does it hurt? How can I make it better?"

"Just stay with me."

Ava fell asleep, holding my hand. I didn't move from my spot by her bed until dawn, and when the sun rose, so did my determination to find out who dared to mess with her.

When Alan came to check on his daughter, I asked him to stay with her and said I'd return later.

Dec was waiting for me in the parking lot. This time, I accepted the coffee he gave me and downed it in a few gulps, ignoring the burn.

"I need to talk to the PI," I said. "And the police. And I need you to stay with Ava."

"Don't worry. Do what needs to be done."

He headed into Harris Memorial, and I got into my car. When I parked opposite the police station, Kirk was already there, pacing the sidewalk, a folder tucked under his arm.

"Good morning. What have you got?" I said, pressing the button to lock my Audi on the remote.

He pointed at the small park across the street. "Let's sit there."

My patience was nonexistent, but I didn't need witnesses or curious stares. We found a quiet spot and sat on a bench.

"I found more than I expected." Kirk tapped his index finger on the folder. "For starters, Tasha Rogers. A former fashion and lifestyle blogger, hasn't been active on social media in over a year."

I knew that, but the knowledge was useless.

"Her father used to own a chain of furniture stores."

The meaning of the sentence registered with my brain. "Used to?"

Kirk pulled several pages from the folder. "He went bankrupt. Several employees sued him because of not getting severance pay, and he isn't likely to win. Look."

I skimmed through the report the PI gave me. "So this means..."

"Wyatt Rogers was likely the solution to his brother's financial troubles. At least, he was the one covering their basic expenses. Which leads us to the motive of hatred since Wyatt is currently unemployed and suffering the consequences of being declared persona non grata of the music industry."

That would explain so much and so little at the same time. Because there was the black car and me being roofied. And Ava's fall. One person couldn't do all of that alone, no matter how evil she was.

"I'll keep digging," Kirk said. "The club where you got drugged is my next stop. But I'd show the police what I gave you."

I put the pages back in the folder. "Thank you. I will."

We parted ways. Barely fifteen minutes later, I was sitting in detective Navarro's office, waiting for him to return to the room.

When he did, I shook his outstretched hand.

"Nice to meet you, Jim. We were going to call you," he said, lowering into a chair behind his desk. "We have reasons to believe the fall was caused by the oil someone spilled on the stairs."

My gut twisted. "Someone? Who?"

"The surveillance cameras are out of order."

It seemed like a fucking joke. Except nothing really was, and I'd missed the obvious too many times to risk doing that again.

"There was an internet technician working at the office late," I said. "I doubt the company would send their employees to fix stuff at that hour. And I hired a PI to look into several suspicious events. This is what he gave me."

I didn't care that I was partly doing the police's job. All I had left was equal parts helplessness and rage.

And a person I loved to the point of insanity.

The one I adored and failed after promising all those months back that I'd take care of her and protect her if she agreed to be mine.

It was a tough one to write, but life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Unfortunately. Even though we all wish it was.