Alan wasn't at work.

The only thing a member of the hospital staff told me was that he took a day off, and I drove to his house, hoping he'd be there. Wasting time wasn't in my plans. Ava wouldn't sleep for much longer, and I wanted to be by her side when she woke up.

To my relief, Alan's car was in the driveway. I parked, got out of my Audi, and strolled to the porch, rehearsing what I'd say to him in my head.

Half of the questions I needed to ask vanished from my brain when Ava's father opened the door and acknowledged me with a barely-there nod. "Jim."

I took in the dark shadows under his eyes, his rumpled hair, and the scruff on his jaw. "I was hoping we could talk," I said.

"Sure. Come in."

Alan ambled to the kitchen, and once I crossed the threshold, my gaze landed on the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the table and a stack of what looked like photo albums.

"How's Ava?" Alan asked, lowering himself into a chair at the kitchen table.

"Asleep. Her friend Harper is with her. I was away and knew nothing, and I wanted to talk to you to understand what happened."

"Want some?" Alan raised his tumbler.

"I drove here, so I'll have some water if that's okay."

"In the fridge. Help yourself."

I grabbed a bottle and poured some water into a glass before sitting across from Alan.

"I'm glad you're here," he said, studying the amber liquid in his glass. "And I'm glad Ava has you."

I set my drink on the table. "Is her mother really alive?"

Alan downed his Jack in one gulp and nodded, rubbing his palms over his face. "Okay," he said, leaning back. "I'll tell you all the truth, and you'll decide what to do with it."

I said nothing, just made myself comfortable in my seat, and rested my elbows on the table, steepling my hands together.

"Marina and I met in college. We were both premed students full of ambition and big dreams. Things went well - we studied hard, partied harder, and everything was easy until our third year.

"I got her pregnant. I guess you know how it can be." Alan let out a sad chuckle, running his fingers over an album on top of the pile. "Feelings and lust and hormones, and suddenly what they teach you about unprotected sex is forgotten.

"The news threw me off guard, but I was happy. I wanted a family, and even though I was twenty and jobless, I knew we could make it work. My parents were great, and they'd help us. But, although I saw my future with Marina, she didn't.

"She said she wasn't sure I was the one. She thought we were too young, and having a kid didn't fit in her plans.

"I understood it was her body and her decision, but the child was mine too. After endless arguments, she agreed to carry on with the pregnancy, but as soon as Ava was born, she handed her to me and gave up her parental rights.

"I was a young fool who believed once she saw the precious baby we both made she'd want her, but it was just my wishful thinking. Legally, Marina didn't have to pay child support, but her family was loaded, and I received money for Ava I never touched. She said she'd continue paying until the girl turned twenty-one."

I didn't expect to hear any of it. And judging by the deep sigh Alan heaved, he knew.

"Marina never called Ava by her name. Didn't even want to hold her when she was born. I took over immediately and raised my daughter on my own. There are many kinds of lies. Some are ugly, some are shameless, and some are desperate.

"I lied out of desperation and fear. How do you tell your daughter she wasn't wanted? If I'd told her the truth, what would it have done to her self-esteem and sense of self-worth? She's always been so sensitive and full of dreams. The truth would wreck her. She'd go into her relationships expecting the worst because that's what happened to me.

"I did love Marina, Jim. It was that crazy, naïve love that you believe conquers all. And although my gut knows not all women are the same, my head has been stopping me from falling for someone. I don't want that for my daughter; that's why I chose to keep her in the dark. I thought once she turned twenty-one, I'd find a way to give the money to her because she deserves to have every cent for not having a mom who cared."

"Where's Marina now?"

Alan tilted his head back and looked at the kitchen ceiling, probably so I wouldn't see his face. "Spain. She's taking a sabbatical, giving conferences. She's one of the top cardiothoracic surgeons in the world, after all. Her dreams came true."

"You kept in touch."

Alan shook his head. "Not really, no. She texts once a month, asking if I received the money for the girl, but working in the same field makes it hard not to know what's going on, especially when her name pops up in magazines and publications. We saw each other at a conference a bit over a year ago but hardly talked."

As I watched Ava's dad, a part of me wished I knew nothing. Because although I lied to her once and promised not to do that ever again, I couldn't tell her what I had learned. Alan was right - it would crush her. She's been through so much I wasn't sure what implications knowing her story could have.

Alan slid an album across the tabletop. "Ava's first year."

Pictures of the cutest baby I'd seen in pink clothes filled the pages.

"Wasn't she beautiful?" Alan whispered.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "She is."

He got up, rounded the table, and squeezed my shoulder as he stood behind me. "Thank you for listening. Only Leo Jennings knows the whole story. It was good to let it all out."

"Ava's godfather?"

"Yeah. Why do you think he became a shrink? His best friend was his first patient and the most hopeless case."

Alan tapped his fingers on a picture of a young guy holding Ava. "That's him. Too bad he doesn't have kids of his own. He'd be an excellent father."

After looking at the rest of the photographs, I closed the book. "Alan, I... I don't think I can or want to tell Ava the truth."

"I told her things didn't work out, and Marina moved away," Alan said. "Which isn't really a lie, but... Ava's hurt and mad at me, and she wants to travel to Spain to meet her mother. I have a request, Jim."

The weight of the revelations pressed on my chest, making it hard for the air to get into my lungs. I couldn't fathom what those events did to Alan, but I was beginning to understand, and my heart hurt for both his daughter and him.

I gave him my full attention. "Sure."

"Be by her side. Give her love and support because the meeting isn't going to go well."

☆☆☆

When I entered my condo, the faint sounds of a TV show filled the apartment. Ava and Harper sat under a blanket on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between them and two wine glasses on the coffee table.

"Hey," I said from the doorway.

Ava launched herself off the couch and sprinted toward me. I wrapped her in my arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Missed me?"

"A lot." She beamed. "We took your wine. Hope you don't mind."

"It's yours, too." I kissed the tip of Ava's nose. "What were you watching?"

"Sex and the City, " Harper said from the couch. "It's our comfort show."

"You can keep watching it with your friend while I shower, cute little thing. Your sugar rockstar stinks."

"No," Harper said, folding the blanket. "You two sure want to be alone. I'll be going."

We said goodbye, and Ava accompanied her friend to the front door. When she reappeared in the living room, she hugged my waist and pressed her nose to my neck.

"You smell amazing, Jimmy. But we could shower together."

I would never say no to that, but I kept quiet, gauging Ava's mood. Before I could answer, she glanced up at me. "Jimmy?"

"Yeah."

"I want to travel to meet my mother. Will you go with me?"

Every fiber of my being wished Alan had been wrong, but that was unlikely. I took a deep breath and cupped Ava's cheeks in my palms. "Of course, baby. Anything you want."

Lies? There were plenty, but that I'd do anything for the girl I loved wasn't one.

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