CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
❝ making a mistake ❞

(I'm crying right now bitches,
so be prepared to cry with me)

     HIS WORLD WAS supposed to have stopped the day he met her— the second his chocolate eyes found her golden ones. Gravity should have shifted, everything was supposed to have frozen in time, only letting up in the solitary moment that he realized what it had meant. She was supposed to have been his imprint; at least that's what he had wished. And then it had come to this, the moment when he was left questioning if it ever really did happen, or if he was only convincing himself that it did.

Maybe it was the wind that day— or the beautiful sun that rested just beyond the horizon, and blushed the clouds with pastel colors of pink and orange that made everything else seem so vibrant. Or maybe it was her beach-wave hair that fell past her shoulders, and rested against her chest. Maybe it was her naturally flushed cheeks, or the freckles that dotted her button nose, or her longing heart that he could hear so clearly due to his heightened senses. Or maybe it was the fact that he was in love with the idea of love.

And while Paul stares into the eyes of a panicking Hayden, who's hands are shaking and breathing is ragged, he notices something he didn't before. He noticed that she wasn't upset about the fact that he had kept a secret from her— she was scared that it would mean she'd have to break Paul's heart. She wasn't being selfish, coming all the way here to scold him about lying; she came here with the intentions of being selfless, in a way to persuade the russet-skinned boy that he wasn't in love with her. To persuade him that he had no romantic feelings for her at all. Because if he did, she would've had to let him know where her heart lies— in the same place that it had since the moment she first laid eyes on him.

Her heart was with Emmett Cullen.

So as he lets out a deep sigh, he tries to make sense of it all— the tingles that erupted throughout his veins when she touched him, or the overwhelming feelings that were brought when she was near him. He tried to understand how he could've mistaken something for the best day of his life; but then he found that he had wanted it to be.

Paul Lahote had wanted someone for so long— to have what Emily and Sam have together, a person to love every day and who will love them unconditionally in return. He had attached himself to a feeling, and denied anything that dared to ruin it. So when Hayden had told him of Emmett, and his heart had broken, it wasn't because Hayden was his imprint and she was falling in love with someone else. It was because he had somehow told himself that she was supposed to be his, as the only person that seemed to understand him.

But how could he do it? How could he mistake something so grave, and tell everyone about it when it wasn't true?

His heart had known all along that he wasn't meant to be with Hayden Marris. But as he was wandering the wooded area next to La Push that fateful night, he had be desperate for something different. He had been desperate for her, the one he was supposed to be with— although he hadn't found her yet. And it just so happened that Hayden, out of all the people in the world, was on the beach that night with her head in the clouds. And she had listened to him like no one ever had before.

Now that he was facing her in this light, his warm hands found hers, and he releases a small sigh. "Maybe I was mistaken . . . " he trails off, watching her expression change to confusion. "I— you are supposed to be with Emmett, Hayden. And I was wrong about everything between us. I just didn't realize it until now."

It hurt him to say it, to admit out loud that he had been wrong and Hayden Marris was a dream that he was never meant to have. It would've shattered him if it weren't for the light smile that began to make its way onto her lips. "You really mean that?"

"Of course I do," his voice is kind, unlike the many times he had gotten angry with the people around him. And that was another thing— Hayden had always managed to bring out the best in him, and show that he wasn't truly as bad as his rage sometimes deemed him to be.

"But what about the imprint?" Her smile drops into a frown. "If I'm your soulmate, I can't just leave you for someone else. That would be—"

"I guess I made my life into a version of a fairytale," Paul tells her. "I shoved away all of my problems, and assumed you'd be the solution. But it was wrong of me— selfish of me to ever ask something like that of you. I have someone waiting for me somewhere, and someday I'll find her. And then I'll have my fairytale."

"Oh Paul, you have no idea how amazing you are," the girl chuckles, placing her smooth hand against his jaw. "You're everything a girl could ever ask for, and I wish for you to be happy."

He lays his hand over her own, holding it there. Maybe if he held it there, she'd stay with him forever. His problems would be gone because she always knew how to fix them, and they would happily live out there own little piece of forever. But Hayden's forever was destined to be with someone else; someone who had yet to know that she was undeniably in love with him. And Paul, now that he was finally letting go, was ready to fix her problems.

"I know you're in love with him," he murmurs, his voice almost breaking, "because anyone with eyes can see it. I hear the way you talk about him, and I want you to be happy too. Despite all of the crazy things I just told you, I think you should go to him and tell him how you feel."

He didn't dare say his name, afraid that his eyes might sting if he did. He was giving her up now, and damn it hurt. It ripped at his chest and made his throat burn.

"But you have a feud with the Cullens, why would you tell me something like that?" The brunette asks, her thumb now rubbing soothing circles on the apples of his cheeks.

"I want to see that gorgeous smile on that cute little face of yours every day," he pauses, trying to control the tremble of his bottom lip. "So if that means I have to give you up to do it, I'd do it every single time."

Hayden's smile broke out then, brightening the room like he had always loved. It was the first feature he had ever noticed, and was by far his favorite. It meant that she was happy, and no other sight in the world, to Paul, could come close to beating it.

"Thank you, Paul, for everything. I'll call you after I get home from Emmett's." Hayden leans forward, pressing a lingering kiss on his warm forehead.

It stayed there, even after she was gone. But he couldn't help but press his hand to the cold spot that remained on his cheek where her hand was once placed. And as his quiet tears escaped, he could remember the moment she had stood up, moving out of his embrace and letting her soft touch leave his face.

He wanted to change his mind, to go back to the second that he had told himself 'she is the one you've been searching for'. He wanted to tell his past self to not allow his heart to fall in too deep, because now he was facing the cold, bitter consequences of his decisions. But he loved her— so much, in fact, that he'd do anything to guarantee that she'd find that same love.

Paul Lahote loved Hayden Marris.

He loved her so much that he let her go.

---

Hayden wasn't sure what she was going to do or say, all she knew was that she was outside Emmett Cullen's front door, and wanted him to take his time with opening it. She loved him; it took Paul Lahote to finally decide she should tell the boy— or the vampire, rather. The new information racked her brain, along with tugs of denial and false pretenses. Things like that were made for fairytale books, not for reality.

But here she was, outside of a house full of vampires— here was her reality check.

She taps her foot on the pavement, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. She really should've put more thought into this, but what could she have possibly planned? How to come right out and tell him that she's in love with him, hoping that he wouldn't find it creepy? And there was also the possibility that Emmett wouldn't feel the same way.

Sure, they had kissed once before, but maybe he had just considered it a in-the-heat-of-the-moment ordeal, and had shrugged it off as if it were nothing. But at the same time, on many occasions he had tried to bring it up. Hayden was just scared of what it might mean. Because what were they? She didn't know.

But she did know that she didn't want to feel the heartbreak that would surely come to her if her feelings weren't mutual.

The door opened, revealing Emmett with a grin on his lips. "I didn't expect for you to come over, Hayden— but what a wonderful surprise."

"I need to tell you something," she blurts, shoving his comments aside. "And it'll probably sound crazy— definitely not as crazy as what I heard about you today, though, so you should be expecting some serious questions about that whole ordeal—"

Hayden was out of breath when Emmett interrupted her with a chuckle. "Slow down, sweetheart, no need to rush. What do you need to tell me?"

"Okay," she breathes, her eyes finding his. "I'm in love with you, and I have been since the second I laid eyes on you. Oh, and why the hell didn't you tell me that you're a vam—"

The Marris girl was cut off when he grabbed her by the waist and pressed his soft lips onto hers.

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