Dedicated to @captivatingeyes because I miss you bae <3

"I can't believe you're going on a date with Jax 'Deadbeat' Deneris!" Braydon squeals as she pushes me through the department store. "Oh, what would you wear? Definitely something that shows a little bit of skin. No, scratch that—a lot of skin so he'd be drooling over you so bad—"

"Okay Bray, you need to chill," I say but she's already tugging me towards the clothes section. Oh sweet Jesus. So much sparkle and color. It's like a unicorn barfed in here. "First off, it's not a date—"

"Yes, it is!" She says, turning to Trevor, who's trailing behind us. He has his hands shoved into his pockets and he looks very uninterested in everything here. Something tells me that he somehow got dragged into this by his girlfriend. "T, when a guy asks you out, it's a date right?"

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugs. "But didn't Sienna say that it's only a date if she's interested in him—"

"But she is!" She exclaims, then cuts her gaze towards me. "You are interested in him. For fuck's sake, you train with him. You get to see his chocolate bars whenever you want! What is there not to like?"

I stare at her weirdly. "Chocolate bars?"

"You know, his..." She gestures to her abdomen. "Abs."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, jeez."

"Don't roll your eyes at me, bitch," Braydon glares at me. "You know you like them."

She's right. I do.

She heads over to one of the racks, gasps at something and snatches it off to show me. "How about this?"

It's a sleeveless, hot pink flare dress that probably looks too expensive for me to afford. I'm not on speaking terms with my parents and well, it's their American Express that I have to use to pay for this dress and I don't need another reason for them to come find me and yell at me because I overspent.

I shake my head. "I don't like it."

Braydon narrows her eyes at me, then stares at the dress again. "Really? It's gorgeous!"

"Maybe you should try it on, then," I say, folding my arms across my chest.

"No, we're here for you. Besides, I got way too many dresses already. My closet is stuffed," Braydon says, inspecting the selection of clothing on another rack. She slides the hangers aside and scrunches her nose, looking through the dresses. "You need something sexy. That's what Jax said right?"

"He said I need something pretty."

"Oh boo. Same thing."

"It's totally not!" I say.

Although that night when he asked me out, he did text me again, asking me to wear something sexy. But I wasn't going to tell Braydon that.

"I don't need something sexy." I roll my eyes. "I don't have anything to even show off! Honestly, Bray, can we just go, this is a waste of time—"

"No," Braydon shakes her head. "You need this. And who says you don't have anything to show off? You're a knockout! When T first saw you, he drooled when he saw you. I know. I was there."

Trevor sigh. "Babe, you said you'd never tell her that—"

"Oh come on. Get over it. I just want to boost her confidence a little bit." She quickly grabs another dress off the rack and squeals, passing it to me. "Oh my god, Si, this is so you."

I groan. Oh god. I can't wear this. No way. "No. I'm not getting this. Put it back."

I shove the dress back to her but she refuses to take it from me. I bat my eyelashes and hang it back on the rack but a quick second later, Braydon snatches it off again and thrusts it at my face.

"Come on! It's perfect for you!" She bounces on the balls of her feet. "T, what do you think?"

Trevor cocks his head sideways and nods. "It's really nice."

Braydon turns to me and smiles, as if saying see? Even he thinks so too. I shake my head again. "It's too... revealing. I'll feel really exposed."

"You need to show off your body. It's absolutely gorgeous, Si. I'm sure when you put it on, you'll see what I see." She presses the dress and folds my hands over it, then pushes me to the dressing room. Trevor trails silently behind us. "You want him to drool over you, right?"

"No!" I protest, though I don't sound very convincing.

"Bullshit, you know you do!" Braydon yells. "Get in and try it on! If you don't, I'm getting you out of your clothes and putting it on you myself!"

I make another sound of protest but before I can even say anything, Braydon pushes me into one of the cubicles in the fitting room and shuts the door. I try to yank the door open but I know she's pulling at the other side of the door so I won't get out.

I look at the dress in my hands again and sigh. If it'll get Braydon to shut up, I'll put it on.

Five minutes later, I emerge out of the dressing room. Braydon is sitting on one of the lounge chairs outside and with a motioning finger, I tell her to follow me. When she sees me in the dress, her entire face lights up and she clasps her hands together.

"You look incredible, Si," she says in awe.

I turn to the full length mirror and assess myself. I hate to admit it but she's right. I do look pretty damn good in it. It's a simple, off the shoulder, black body-hugging dress that shows off all of my curves. The hem stops a few inches above my knees but it's not too low for me to worry about anyone looking at my panties if I were to bend over. There's a very nice complimenting slit on the left side that shows a little bit of skin, which gives me the 'sexy' element I was looking for.

Damn, Jax is gonna be speechless when he sees me in this dress.

Oh, dammit. The hell with trying to deny this anymore.

I totally want to impress him.

"If you put your hair up like this," Braydon says as she gathers my wavy hair and bunches it at the top, allowing some strands of hair to fall past the sides of my face, "and with a little bit of makeup..."

I shake my head. "No. No makeup."

"Yes. Makeup." Braydon's reflection glares at me through the mirror. "I'm gonna doll you up so good you're gonna look like a god damn bombshell."

I swear she's been planning this ever since we met. Beth's more into the whole hair and makeup thing, which is why Braydon and her get along really well, but I think she's been waiting for me to go on a date for a long time now so she'll have something to bond over with me too.

Little does she know this is just a one time thing.

"T!" Braydon yells. "Come here! Look at Sienna!"

Trevor pops into the dressing room and a huge smile breaks across his face when he scans me from head to toe. "Nice. You look hot."

"Thanks," I say, my hands sliding across the tiny folds of fabric. If Beth saw me in this, she'd laugh. I've never been in something this...sexy before.

Oh god, Beth.

What will she think about this? Should I even tell her that I'm going out with Jax? Shit, if I do, she'll be devastated.

"You're frowning," Braydon says. "You don't like the dress?"

"No, I do, I just..." I heave out a sigh. "Beth. I haven't told her yet."

Trevor blows out a breath. "Shit."

"Yeah," I say, looking down. "She's going to freak when she finds out that I'm going on a date with him."

I just realized what I admitted and horror spills on my face. Braydon and Trevor both look at each other, smugness lining their faces.

"I thought you said it wasn't a date," Braydon smirks.

     I mentally slap myself for letting myself slip. I open my mouth to say something, anything to debunk my previous words, but come up with nothing.

"Oh, shut it, the both of you!" I snap instead and their laughs echo the hallway as I storm back into the cubicle.

* * *

It's not a date.

    I figured that if it wasn't, I wouldn't be hurting Beth at all. Maybe Jax and I could just hang out. As friends. I can do that. I have guy friends. Well, I have a guy friend. Trevor's been my friend since I was fourteen years old and that's never going to change. I can totally be friends with Jax if I want to.

    Except for the fact that a part of me doesn't want to.

    It's difficult to convince myself of that when I'm sitting on the front porch in the beautiful black dress that I bought, pursing my cherry lipstick stained lips and clicking my heels against the wooden patio.

    Fuck me.

    It took me a lot of effort to get Braydon off my back on the night of our not-date. She insisted she'd come over twelve hours prior to do my hair and makeup but I told her no. If I let her give me a makeover, I'd be caked in layers and layers of makeup. I wouldn't even look like myself anymore. And I didn't want that.

    There was no hiding from Jax. From the moment he met me, he saw right through me. And as much as that scares me, he's probably the only person that I've ever met that could do that. Suddenly, I didn't feel alone anymore.

    "You're not coming," I said again to Braydon, sighing against my phone.

    "You're being really mean right now," she huffed back.

    I made a face. "No, I'm not!"

    "Yes, you are."

    "I'm sorry. You just need to respect my decision here, Bray." I sighed. "Besides, I need you to do something else for me."

    "Name it and I'll do it."

    "I need you to take Beth out tonight."

    She laughed. "You afraid she's gonna find out about your date?"

    It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a date.

    "Yes."

    "Fine," she said. "T and I will take her out to dinner. Have fun at your date, alright? Make sure you bring condoms too! You'll never know... maybe you're going to get really lucky tonight... oh and make sure you tell me exactly how huge his dick is-"

    I hung up on her.

    Braydon did uphold her promise and took Beth out before I got ready for the not-date. I hope she's having fun with her and Trevor. Other than school, she's been hanging around the house a lot and it puts her in a really awkward position with our parents.

    I huff out a breath and clutch my phone in my hands, checking if there's any text messages from Jax. It's still early but I overestimated how much time it took for me to get ready.

    I breathe a sigh of relief when I see a black Lamborghini pull over in front of my house. The driver's door opens and Jax comes out of it. He's wearing a white button down shirt, a few buttons on top left unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up to show off his biceps and black trousers. His golden hair is gelled back, giving me a direct view of his face.

    When he sees me, he smirks, leaning against the front part of the car, as if beckoning me to come over. "Come on, princess."

    I rise from the chair and walk down the steps to meet him. His eyes never leave me as he drinks me in, his eyes roaming up and down my body, his gaze lingering longer at my chest area, my hips and my legs.

    "You look beautiful, Sienna," he purrs when he walks over to the other side to let me in the car.

    "You're not so bad yourself," I say, sliding into the front seat. A minute later, Jax gets in, taking his place in front of the wheel. He looks at me again and grins, staring at me again.

    "You're staring," I say.

    "I know."

    A pause.

    "Stop it."

    "Impossible. You look too fucking delicious."

    A pause. Every compliment he gives me makes my heart soar. I don't know if it's evident or not. Hopefully it's the latter because I certainly don't want to boost his already inflated ego. So instead, I change the subject. "Where are we going?"

    "Somewhere you're all too familiar with. But with a twist." He winks.

    And then he turns on the ignition and without another word, speeds off.

* * *

    The faded Universal Fighter's Gym sign grins smugly back at me as we pull over on the side of the road. I get out of the car without assistance and raise my eyebrows at Jax.

    "You want to work out?" I ask him, baffled. "I mean, you could have told me before I got all dressed up and shit-"

    "Relax, princess. We're not working out. At least not tonight." He comes over from the side and slides an arm around my waist, ushering me inside. He pushes open the doors. The gym is dark, with a only a couple of dim lights blinking from the ceiling. It's free of occupants, even Julian, with the exception of us.

    "I told Julian to clear out the place for tonight," he says, dangling the keys in front me. "He trusted me to lock up."

    I stare at him weirdly. "You're not going to fuck me in the bathroom like you did with those other girls, are you?"

    He shakes his head, chuckling. "No, not today at least. We're going downstairs tonight."

    He takes my hand and ushers me down the stairs. His hands feel rough against mine, his knuckles bruised and red as always.

It should frighten me that these hands have injured many people here and fractured and split bones, but I don't care about any of that.

I see a fighter—a fighter strong and powerful enough to survive anything that comes at his way. A fighter that doesn't give up, that always wins and never falters.

    When we reach the foot of the stairs, we push through another set of doors and enter the warehouse. It's a difference atmosphere than I anticipated—with no bookies shouting for bets, no girls screaming at the fighters to take them there and then, no people stomping and cheering madly at every movement made upon that huge ring that presents itself in the middle of it all.

    The ring is different too. Where fighters stand facing each other, fists flying, bones cracking, there's none of that today. The floor is laid with a red picnic cloth and plates of different food are scattered neatly in the middle—the smell of them tickling my nostrils as we approach it. The lights are dim, and the only source of brightness come from the scented candles placed in the centre of the picnic blanket.

    "Wow," I breathe as Jax tugs me forward. He helps me into the ring, the grin never disappearing from his face. I take off my shoes and sit with both of my legs lying on my side. Jax takes his place opposite from me, sitting cross-legged. "This is incredible."

    "I contemplated on bringing you to a restaurant but then I figured I gotta step up my game if I want you to admit that you like me. So, I did something a little bit more romantic." He gestures to the picnic, then holds my gaze, smirking. "Impressed?"

    "A little."

    A lot, actually, but I wasn't going to say that out loud.

    "You made all of these?" I ask, my mouth watering at the sight of all the dishes.

    Some of them are finger-food, others not—jacket potatoes with cheddar-chive filling, fried prawns, escargot, muscles, and wings served with barbecue sauce. As for drinks, a bottle of red wine sits itself inside an ice bucket, waiting for it's cork to be popped and poured unto our wine glasses.

    "Fuck no." He shakes his head. "I had a lot of help."

    "I knew it," I say. "Knew you couldn't pull this off by yourself."

    "I'm good at a lot of things, princess, but cooking? Not really a skill of mine."

    "That's right. Beating the shit out of people is."

    "You know me so well," he murmurs, taking the bottle of wine out from the bucket and popping the cork.

    "You don't do this for just any girl, do you?" I ask him as he pours the wine into my glass. His eyes meet mine briefly and a spike of fear grows in the embers of his. I don't know why my question scared him. He looks down, clearing his throat and continues to pour into his own glass.

    "No," he says.

    "I must be so special," I fake gush.

    I actually do feel special though. Knowing that I'm different from the tens and hundreds of women he's ever been with. I'm assuming there's a lot of them considering how women respond to him when they see him in this ring. I admit, I was one of them.

    "You are," Jax says, eyes gleaming. "I can't believe you've held out on me for so long. No girl has never done that to me before. They're always more than eager to get with me. But you..." he chuckles. "You're a tough nut to crack. But I'm all for the chase. It makes things much more fun."

    "Ah, so you like me because I'm the only girl who's never responded to any your advances."

    "You've responded to this one so I'm guessing I did something right." A sly grin forms on his face as he pops a fried prawn into his mouth.

    "But this isn't a date," I say.

    "Oh, come on, princess. You know damn well it is. I don't know who you're trying to fool here." Jax says. "You're really stubborn, you know that? You don't like to admit to things, even if the truth is staring right at your face."

    "I know that," I say. "I'd like to think that it's a good trait of mine."

    He chuckles deeply. "It's definitely a trait. Good? I don't think so."

    "Oh, don't give me that." I roll my eyes. "You're not a saint either."

    "I know. I'm far from being a saint. And I like that about myself," he murmurs. "And I accept it. Wholeheartedly. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not criticizing you for being stubborn. I like that you are. Hell, stubborn Sienna is sexy as fuck." He groans. "But you have to learn to embrace your flaws. It's already part of you. Show it off. The world deserves a little wicked. And you, princess—" He takes a sip of his wine, his eyes holding mine. "—will damn us all."

    I can't keep the smile from forming on my face. "Nobody has ever said that to me before."

    My whole life I've been taught to suppress my dark thoughts and emotions, and instead, put on a mask and pretend to be good. Pretend to be okay. Even though my demons are clawing restlessly inside of me, desperately wanting to be heard.

    And here's someone who instead of telling me to hide from the world—

    He wants me to take it.

    And he's been teaching me how to do it ever since the first time I met him. He pushes me, challenges me like no one else does, and he makes me strong. He wants me to take back control of my own life, to embrace the anger and madness inside of me and to wear it like an armor so no one can ever hurt me anymore.

    Why do I keep pushing him away when it's clear that he's the only person right now that actually cares about my well-being and sanity?

    Why do I keep denying my feelings for him when it's clear that I want him, all of him—the devilish gleam in his eyes, the tendrils of darkness swirling around his body, the power and strength that he owns and loves, and the madness of his words and lips that whisper pretty truths to me.

    I like him. I like Jax Deneris.

    "—so what are you going to do about it?"

    I shove my thoughts aside and fall back into reality. Jax is looking at me, his eyebrows furrowed. "Huh?" I ask.

    He chuckles. "I asked about your parents. I know you're in a fucked up situation right now. What are you going to do about it?"

    I take a sip of my wine and sigh. God, my parents are the last thing I ever want to discuss right now. But if Jax is curious, I'll humor him. "I don't know, really. There's nothing I can do. I'm still trying to process the fact that they're getting divorced. It still hasn't set it yet."

"Yeah," Jax says. "It took me a while to accept my parents' divorce too." Wait, what? I did not know that. When Jax sees the shocked expression that masks my face, he shrugs. "It was a long time ago. I'm over it now. But back then, it hit me hard."

"So, who do you live with now?'

"My mom and my stepfather," he says quietly. I want to ask him more about his family but he looks very uncomfortable, as if he doesn't want to touch that topic right now. So I guess I should back off. Noticing the silence, he clears his throat and says, "But fuck it. The point is, shit happens. And we have to deal. You have to deal with it too."

    "I know I do. But I guess... I didn't expect for this to happen to my family," I say. "My parents were perfect for each other. Sure, they bickered a lot, but I thought that was normal. I didn't expect..." I take a deep breath, trying to recollect my emotions. "I didn't expect them to give up. This fast. And it doesn't stop there. Because my mom can't stand to even be in the same room as my dad, she's leaving the country. And I know damn well she's not going to come back."

    "That blows. I'm sorry," he says. "But if it makes you feel any better, mine are worse. If your parents are bitches, mine are the devil incarnates. Maybe that explains why I turned out like this." He gestures to himself. "It's hard having to give them credit for creating a monster."

    "You make it sound like it's a good thing."

    "That's because it is." The wicked gleam in his eyes, the one that I find myself liking more and more each day, shines. "I like being one of the monsters. Being good is fucking overrated."

    I laugh. "Only you would think so."

    "How about you?" He asks, leaning closer. He grins slyly, strands of blonde hair falling over his eyes in a sexy manner. "What do you think?"

    "I think..." I whisper. "That good people are just bad people who haven't been caught yet."

    He leans back, satisfied with my answer. "True that."

    "Is it why you do what you do?" I gesture to the ring. "To prove people that you can be bad?"

    He shrugs. "Yes. And the fact that I fucking love doing what I do. I, like you, have a lot of pent up anger. And I find it very... therapeutic to release it by beating the living fuck out of someone until they become a bloody pulp."

    I should find it fucked up, but it does make sense. In a very twisted way.

    "Doesn't it get tiring? Doing it night after night?"

    "Never." He offers me another grin. "Look, getting in that ring is just as exhilarating as getting out of it. Every time I emerge out of that hallway..." He points to the opening behind me and I look over my shoulder. "I feed on the audience's cheers and screams. It makes my heart pump faster, makes my energy level skyrocket. There's something very euphoric about having them chant your name, over and over, like you're some kind of god." He stares off into the distance like he's imagining himself, draped in his robe in all of his gore and glory, a dangerous smirk dancing off the edge of his lips as he greets his crowd, fists pumping into the air while he runs. "It's highly addictive. That mix with the adrenaline and anticipation makes it all worthwhile."

    I offer him a smile. "I wish I had that."

    "You can." He stands up abruptly and offers a hand. "Come on. You'll like it."

    I stare at him, confused. "What?"

    "I'll show you what I mean." Reluctantly, I take his hand and stand up, joining him. He helps me out of the ring and walks me over to the hallway. I immediately know where this is going and shake my head.

    "Oh no. I'm not doing this."

    "Why the fuck not?"

    "Because it's stupid!"

    "I'm insulted, princess. I do this twice a month."

    "No, I mean—" I shake my head and try to find the right words to convey my train of thought. "I'm not a real fighter."

    "Bullshit," he says sharply. "A fighter isn't defined by the number of punches he can throw or how hard he can hit. The second you fought back against your parents, you're a fighter. The second your fist hit that punching bag, you're a fighter. And the second you get back up after getting pushed down, you're a fucking fighter. And because of that, you deserve this damn walk."

    Regardless of what Jax said, I stay put. My feet are frozen to the ground. This is absolutely ridiculous. I don't know why he's even making me do this.

    He notices my hesitation, but doesn't get mad. Instead, he offers me a sneaky smile and runs towards the ring, then shouts, "LADIESSSSS AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT TO YOUUUUU, THE ONE, THE ONLY SIENNA 'THE HURRICANE' LANEEEEEEE!"

    Oh my god.

    He immediately switches to the audience, mimicking their screams and hollers. "AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH!" he shouts. "WOOOOOOOO!" He stops and nods at me, beckoning me to come out of the shadows. "Come on, princess! GET OUT OF THERE!"

    "I'm not going to do it!" I shout at him.

    "What?" He says, squinting at me. "What? Did WE JUST SAY THAT SHE'S TAPPING OUT? BOOOOO! BOOOOOO! COWARD!"

    "Jax. Stop it!" I give him a warning glare. "I'm not doing it!"

    "BOOOOOOOO!" He yells even louder and I groan. "COWARD!!!"

    Oh for fuck's sake—

    Groaning, I step out of the shadows, hitting my fists together like how Jax usually does when he emerges and lift one arm into the air. Jax grins, pleased that he finally got me to give into his ridiculous game. "SHE'S GETTING BACK IN THE RING, PEOPLE!" He yells.

    He cheers again, mimicking the crowd, but this time I no longer hear his voice. Instead, I hear thousands and thousands of people fill the stands, yelling and screaming my name, chanting it over and over again as I start a slow sprint around the ring, tapping people's fists and high-fiving others as I go.

    Looks of adoration meet mine, both girls and boys alike. The first female fighter to have ever joined the underground circuit. Their cheers grow louder, every clap syncing with the fast-beating of my heart.

    Lights stream down over me, highlighting the red silky sleeves of my robe. I give out a chuckle, the excitement and suspense bubbling within the depths of me as I get closer and closer to the ring, knowing that my opponent will be there waiting for me. Waiting to be smashed in the head by me.

    Someone extends a hand down towards me from the ring and I take it. The man pulls me up and next thing I climb into the ring, stumbling a little. His arms go around me, circling my waist and I press my hands against his hard chest, my face slowly tilting up to meet his eyes.

The world folds itself in and falls away. I no longer hear anything. The cheers and screams fade away from my mind. The robe is no longer draped over my body. Instead, I fall back into reality, with Jax's arms around me, our faces merely inches apart.

    I'm breathing hard and so is he. He chuckles, tugging a stray piece of hair away from my face and behind my ear.

"I told you you'll like it." A cocky I-told-you-so-grin stares back at me.

    "Yeah I did," I say, a small laugh bubbling out of me. "I understand why you love it so much."

    "And you know what made it better?" He asks me and I shake my head, not knowing the answer. "When I saw you standing over there last month." He points to the VIP corner, where Braydon, Beth and I had been not too long ago, watching Jax fight. "I knew you were special, princess. Knew it the first time our eyes met. And you know what I wanted to do then? I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the ring, hold your face in my hands and kiss the living fuck out of you."

    "You probably said that to a bunch of other girls."

    He shrugs. "Surprisingly enough, no. You're the first one."

    "Then maybe it was probably the adrenaline talking."

    "Maybe," he murmurs. "Maybe not."

    He's staring at me intensely now, ravishing me with his eyes. Oh god, I can't seem to look away. Every inch of him is mesmerizing. I can't believe he just admitted that he wanted to kiss me the first time he saw me. He didn't even know me then but the second our gazes locked, he knew exactly what he wanted and that was me.

    And he never stopped wanting me since.

    I've been trying to fight my feelings for Jax for so long now but then I finally realized that maybe ... I shouldn't. I haven't felt this way for anyone ever and if I turn him down, if I turn this beautiful thing down, I might never get another chance again.

    Screw Beth. I want to be selfish. I want to be bad. I want him so much that my heart is about to combust and my head is about to explode and if I don't tell him any of this soon, I'll disintegrate into dust.

    "Why didn't you?" I ask.

    He looks confused. "Why didn't I what?"

    "Why didn't you jump out of the ring, hold my face in your hands and kiss the living fuck out of me?"

    "Because you look like the kind of girl who would kick me in the balls for doing something as reckless as that."

    "That's true. You were a stranger to me then." I shrug. "But... you're not anymore."

    His lips tug into a small smile. "I'm not."

    "And you're here now."

    "I am."

    "And I'm not really in the mood to kick you in the balls tonight."

    "Really?"

    "Really."

    "Princess..." he drawls. "Are you asking me to kiss you?"

    Slowly, I nod.

    "Kiss me, Jax," I whisper. "Please."

    The grin that I always love creeps on his face as he slides a hand around my cheek and tighten his arms on my waist. "Fuck, princess. I thought you'd never ask."

    And with one sweeping move, he presses his lips against mine.

* * *

A/N: And then there's me watching them kissing and being like

Hahaha. Anyways, just in case ya'll didn't know, PERFECT ADDICTION JUST REACHED 40 MILLION FUCKING READS!!

Thank you guys for making this happen. It's such a huge milestone for me and I can't thank you enough. It's been a year since I've finished Perfect Addiction and the amount of support I still get is very overwhelming. I love you guys so much. <3

Anyways, how are we feeling on #JIENNA? Did you like the date? I surely enjoyed writing it.

Stay tuned for more soon! I can't wait for you guys to see the direction I'm taking with this couple.

In the meantime, keep calm and love Jax!

Love, Claudia.