CHAPTER NINE

I still want you to stay

××××××

I woke up to strong, cosy arms wrapped around my waist. I melted into the embrace, a delightful smile spreading on my face. It had been a long time since I woke up to something other than a cold, empty bed and a tired, broken heart, all wrapped in an everlasting loneliness. But that morning, I felt warm. The kind I never thought I would be able to feel again.

My eyes shifted to Evan and my stomach dropped. His long eyelashes dipped in the sunlight coming from the windows, his toned chest partly visible from underneath the sheets, his full swollen lips slightly parted and his large biceps around my body had me thinking that if angels existed, this is what they would look like.

A part of me wanted to wake him up with a kiss and another one wanted to slap him.

I slowly freed myself from him and picked up my clothes. Was it wrong to forget your past for one night to make yourself feel something in the present? Nothing had changed between me and Evan, if anything, things were bound to be worse now that we slept together, but I didn't completely regret it. Some things are so wrong, but feel so right, you can't help but let them happen even if your brain is screaming at you to stop.

Maybe this could be your final goodbye.

A pang of hurt hit me on the thought. Last night we tasted like hatred and love, two emotions we felt deeply for each other. Last night, we threw rationality out of the window, but now it was back. And along with it, it brought back all the questions that had been haunting me for a year, questions about why things happened the way they did. And that brought the realization that it was best to leave because we couldn't last for more than a night, not after everything.

I glanced back once, bit my lip, then forced myself to turn back around and leave.

$~*~*~$

Evan woke up to an empty bed. There was no sign of Flora, she was gone. If it wasn't for her lingering scent and the vivid memories of her touch that Evan could still feel on his body, he would've doubted if last night even happened.

He ran his hands through his messy, morning hair in distress, biting his lip when an image of Flora from last night flashed in his mind. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

He was so angry with her last night. In fact he had been so angry with her since a really long time. But what pissed him off the most was that despite all of it, he couldn't help but feel something towards her. The frustration of wanting each other while wanting to do nothing with each other made them both reckless and impulsive and they did the one thing that was bound to complicate things further.

Evan didn't know what he was expecting out of Flora staying, but he was still pissed at her for running away in the morning. He wondered if she regretted last night. He knew he didn't. There was no reason, no explanation for their actions, but then again, there never is when it comes to them.

But he was determined to get some answers this time. She could leave  before he woke up and she could pretend like nothing happened, but she couldn't escape Evan forever. Because he had no intentions of letting her, not this time.

$~*~*~$

Flora spent the entire morning drowning herself in work, which was only partly an excuse to avoid the consequences of the previous night since the guests were supposed to be arriving that day. She had to arrange taxis to pick them up from the airport, allocate rooms and make sure everyone was settled and comfortable. Throw in an overexcited uncle determined to get drunk the moment he is off the plane and bridesmaid more focused on shopping in the city rather than spending time with the bride herself, Flora pretty much had her plate full. They were kicking off the wedding week with a welcome cocktail party in the evening so preparations for that were going full fledged as well.

She was practically gleeful about dealing with all these people, no matter how annoying they could be, because it meant that she could avoid Evan and the thought of him easily for atleast the first half of the day. But despite her best attempts, the memories from last night were reluctant as ever to leave her mind and her body.

She could still feel his lips on her.

But she determined to leave the night, and Evan along with it, behind her. It was just a one night thing after all.

$~*~*~$

At the cocktail party thrown for the guests welcome, I sat on the bar stool cross legged, sipping mimosas, when I felt a presence beside me. I didn't have to turn my head to know it was him, so instead I kept my attention focused on stirring my drink. He sat on the stool next to mine and ordered a gin martini for himself while I tried not to get distracted by his delicious cologne.

"Good job—" he began slyly, tracing the back of his hand on my neck lightly, causing a delicious chill to run down my spine. "—on covering all those hickeys."

My jaw tightened, but my cheeks turned red from something other than anger. "What do you want?" I tilted my head and glanced at him in annoyance, ignoring the butterflies dancing in my stomach the moment our eyes met.

"Dance with me."

My breath got caught up in my throat. Focus. Focus.

"What?" I scoffed, raising my eyebrows at him.

"Great party you've organised." he commented. "C'mon," getting up from his seat, he extended his hand towards me. "We owe it at least this much."

From afar he would've looked like a gentleman who was politely asking me for a dance, but only I could see the challenge in his eyes and the mischief in his smirk. He was mocking me, his stare daring me to take his hand and dance with him after everything that had happened between us–last night and before.

I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that I was bothered by his presence, even if it wasn't far from the truth.

With equal amount of fire in my eyes, I took his hand. He put his hands on my waist, pulling me closer to himself, making my heartbeat quickened. It was strange how every single touch still made me lose my mind.

"So you claim to have left your stealing days behind. " he taunted as we began slow dancing to the music. "But you clearly still excel in running away."

"What did I run away from?"

"Well, you know, from the truth, from the consequences of not telling the truth and, of course, from me."

"You talk as if you've not lied about shit before. As if your lies haven't had some really terrible consequences." I fired back. "And as for running away from you, I did no such thing. I just had a lot of work this morning and honestly, no reason to stay."

"I didn't say anything about this morning." he smiled at me mockingly. Fuck.  "But I guess you do accept that you've been avoiding me all day, then?

I gritted my teeth in annoyance. I wanted to slap that smug look off this face.

"No, I wasn't."

"Really?" he said smugly.

"Even if I was, so what? I mean, you didn't expect me to stay, right?" I asked rudely. "We just had sex. Hate sex. That's all."

I looked at him up and down, then bit my lip sarcastically. "Oh wait, I didn't hurt your ego by leaving you all alone in the morning, did I?"

He looked me straight in the eye. "Not going to lie, Scarlett Stone would surely have, but not you, Flora. Not you."

"Too bad she doesn't exist." I retorted, hiding the hurt I felt. "Too bad the person I wouldn't have left in the morning, the person I thought you were, doesn't exist either."

His jaw tightened in anger, but I could tell my words got to him. I just wanted to hurt him so bad, but I was only hurting myself by trying to do so. It made me mad how the thought of him hating me still made my heart ache.

The song changed as if on cue and we continued to move silently, in the the middle of strained atmosphere that surrounded us.

Girl, I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Passed the infatuation phase

Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
Seems like we argue everyday

The tension between us was high, but we both refused to step away. We were adamant, determined to get the other one surrender, even though we both knew there was no winning in this game.

I know I misbehaved and you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow

We were too close to each other, yet so far away, the feeling was almost suffocating. Our eyes refused to leave each other's, burning with fire, the hatred in them carefully concealing the vulnerabilities inside.

And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work but I think maybe we should take it slow.

My emotions were a complete mess, they had always been, and I couldn't bear it anymore. Evan twirled me around once as the song hit the chorus, then pulled me back to him. He then dipped me down once and I was instantly reminded of the time we danced together for the first time. So much had happened since then. We had danced so many dances together. As strangers, as friends, lovers, as enemies.

This ain't a movie love
No fairytale conclusion y'all
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

I hang up, you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances we take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy I still want you to stay

I could feel my throat tighten. It was tough being near him. Too damn tough. I just couldn't do it anymore. I tried to back away from him, but he only tightened his grip around my waist.

"Let me go, Evan." I whispered.

"You can't run away every time." his eyes bored into mine. They were heavy with emotion, but I couldn't quite tell what it was. I just couldn't tell what was going on in his mind and it frustrated me till no ends.

Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know maybe you and I

My heart was beating wildly against my chest. I tried not to focus on the music, on Evan's hands, his cologne and most importantly his eyes, but I couldn't.

"Evan, let me go, please I–" he cut me off by closing the distance between us, dipping his head down so his lips were in front of my ear, his cheek touching mine. A chill ran down my spine.

He whispered, "We need to speak. Properly."

"I don't—"

"Not this time. I'm not giving you an option."

His tone wasn't harsh, but it rung with determination and finality and I knew I had no choice. So I just rested my head against his chest, waiting for the song to get over, preparing myself to spill the emotions I had been holding in for a year.

_____

I wanted this chapter to be longer, but I don't want to make you guys wait any more.

I tried to write this chapter a little differently. I introduced 3rd person pov so let me know if you enjoyed it and want to see more of it. Also, did you like reading through those lyrics? It's from the song Ordinary People by John Legend btw, if anyone is wondering.

If you have any song suggestions that would go well with this story, inline comment right here.

Faith