CHAPTER FOUR

Tell me there's a river I can swim that will bring you back to me
'Cause I don't know how to love someone else
I don't know how to forget your face
No, love
God, I miss you every single day and now you're so far away

So far away

It's breakin' me, losin' you
We were far from perfect
But we were worth it
Too many fights, and we cried
But never said we're sorry
Stop sayin' you love me

×××××

I frowned at the earring that slipped from my hand and broke into two pieces. I was being extra clumsy that day. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I kept telling myself it was just a party, but I knew it was definitely going to be so much more complicated than that especially if he showed up. Even if he didn't, the anxiety that was already building inside of me in anticipation was enough to make me question why I was doing this anyway.

Perhaps it was because I had made a commitment to my work and a promise to Emily which I wanted fulfill or maybe I was just testing myself like an idiot, either way I had agreed to attend Emily's party that she was throwing to 'cool off' before we left for Paris.

The party planning was all on her, she simply wanted me to be a guest. She had gone off about how the place where the party was being held was so amazing and fun that I would be begging her to join our company as an event planner. I was still deciding whether I liked her or not.

I didn't know who was coming and who wasn't, but I was hoping that Evan would be too busy to attend.

"You have to get used to this, Flora." I thought to myself. "You can't be on the edge 24/7. You have to learn to be in his presence without letting it bother you in any way. It's just a couple of weeks."

Taking another deep breath, I left my house with a newfound determination, hoping for it to last.

$~~~$

The cab dropped me off at the address Emily had messaged me. As I got out, I couldn't help but feel that the place seemed oddly familiar. I read the address again and realized that the party was at the basement of the building where the cab had dropped me.

It was only when I reached the basement did I realize that why it looked so familiar. The place had changed. The stairway to the basement was lit with fancy neon lights and some decorations, unlike before which gave it a completely different look and made it hard for me to register where I was before. Even the club had expanded and looked different even though I couldn't pinpoint what had changed.

It was a nightmare.

I was at the same jazz club that Evan brought me to last year when we came to Italy on a business trip.

I turned around to leave as fast as I could, but Emily's voice calling out my name had me closing my eyes in distraught, knowing that there was no getting out of this now.

I slowly turned around to face her.

"You made it." she grinned.

I nodded my head, offering her a small smile.

"I know you're all about work, but you can loosen up for one night!" she laughed. I shifted on my feet uncomfortably. "Get drunk, dance your ass off, have fun! I mean, that's what I'll be doing!"

She swayed on her feet and launched a deep kiss on her fiance before disappearing in the crowd with him, dancing. She was certainly drunk already, dancing and having fun. I sighed.

I hadn't spotted Evan yet, maybe he wasn't even there. I decided to hit the bar, down a couple of drinks and leave in not more than fifteen minutes. Emily probably wouldn't even notice and even if she did, I doubted she would be upset. I could always make up some dumb excuse about having a headache or some important work anyway.

Just as I settled on the bar stool and ordered myself a drink, a familiar voice disrupted my peace.

"Scarlett Stone, long time." she started. I didn't have look up to recognize who the annoying voice belonged to."I hear that you're a wedding planner now. How's that going after being fired from Carter Cooperation?"

My jaw clenched and I slowly looked up to make eye contact with Sarah. I had no idea what the bitch was doing there, but I had a feeling I didn't want to find out.

"Sarah." I spat out her name with utmost venom. "Just when I thought this party was lacking a bitch, you show up."

"Call me whatever you want." she snarled. "Atleast I'm not a conniving little bimbo like you. You just can't leave Me Carter alone, can you?"

"Look, I appreciate you trying, but I have no interest in participating in this highschool drama that you've clearly made up in your mind." I said casually, taking a sip of my drink. "It's better you take your delusional self somewhere else. I'm trying to enjoy my drink."

"Oh, you enjoy your drink, alright." she hissed. "That's all you got anyways." She wasn't looking at me anymore as the words left her mouth. I followed her line of vision and my breath got caught up in my throat. Evan, looking ridiculously handsome, was walking straight towards us. A mixture of anticipation and nervousness hit me.

He stopped before us, his eyes meeting mine before shifting to Sarah. Without a word, he offered her his hand which she took gladly.

I rolled my eyes, not caring if he noticed. I turned around and took a sip of my drink, trying to act nonchalant about his presence. Trying not to show him how angry I felt. Trying to forget the day he brought me to this place and we danced together like nothing else mattered. Trying not to think about everything he made me feel that night.

Because that night was over. That night was a dream, but today was a reality, standing right in front of me, taunting me, laughing at me, making fun of every moment I had spent thinking I was special.

As I watched Evan dance with Sarah, I couldn't help but feel like he was mocking me in some way. I couldn't help but hate him even more.

I ordered another drink.

It had been almost twenty minutes of me just sitting at that stool, gulping drink after drink slowly, but I had no energy to get up from my place and leave. It was like I was frozen in my spot, just me and my thoughts.

I think I was on my fourth drink when I felt a presence beside me. I didn't have to look up to know who it was. I simply ignored him. I was waiting for him to either say something or simply leave, but instead he reached out and pulled my glass from my hand before I could register what was happening.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Why do you drink so recklessly when you know you can't handle it." Evan said simply.

I scoffed, turned around and ordered myself another drink. From the corner of my eye I could see Evan with his jaw tightened in annoyance.

"Look," he started, gritting his teeth, trying to contain his anger as he spoke. "You don't want to cause a scene here. You need to stop drinking. You've had enough."

"And you need to stop stalking me. It's none of your concern what I do and what I don't. Besides, I'm not even drunk." I snapped. It was true. I had ordered a drink with a low alcohol content. I knew I could just tell him that, but I didn't want to. It was because I didn't need to explain myself to him.

Or maybe you just want to make him angry. You just want to fight with him.

"If you don't stop, you will be." he said lowly with a cold warning in his eyes.

"I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice." I argued. The tension between us was higher than ever. We both knew I was referring to the night I got too drunk at a party and Evan took me to his house where we almost had sex.

He gritted his teeth again, looking angrier than ever. "I'm saying this the last time, Flora. It's late. I don't want you getting drunk and leaving this party alone a-"

I cut him off with a laugh. A cruel, mocking laugh. "Who said I'll be leaving this party alone?"

He raised his eyebrows in question, but I just smirked at him. "You keep the drink. I'll find my buzz somewhere else."

The next thing I knew, I was already on the dance floor, dancing with strangers. I had noticed a guy glance at me a few times while I was at the bar, but I wasn't one bit interested. Until now. Until I knew Evan had his eyes on me. I danced my way to him, my hands automatically going on his shoulders.

"Hey!" I smiled charmingly. "I noticed you were having a hard time keeping your eyes off me."

He chuckled lightly. "And I'm noticing you're having a hard time keeping your hands off me."

"Well, do you mind?" I asked with a flirtatious smile.

"Never said I did." he grinned.

He didn't seem like a pervert because he kept his hands still on my waist. If anything, he seemed slightly nervous. As if he was genuinely interested.

On instinct I slowly began to distance myself from him. I didn't realize we had been leaning towards each other. I didn't care about him. I was just trying to irritate Evan. I would be fine dancing with someone who was just trying to get in my pants even though I had no intentions of letting them. But seeing the slightest bit of genuine interest from someone, even a stranger, scared me.

Was I so wounded that I could never stop distancing myself from even a fraction of possibility of happiness because I was afraid of getting hurt?

Did Evan take away the possibility for me to feel something; anything for another person with him when he went away?

But why did I care? I had never believed in the idea of love anyway.

"Is everything fine?" the stranger asked. "You look a little tensed."

"It's because I want to kiss you." I said on impulse. I just wanted to feel something. I just wanted to show Evan that I could fall in love with someone who wasn't him. That I could move on as easily as he sent me to jail right after proposing to me. As easily as he danced with Sarah here of all places right in front of me.

He seemed surprised, but didn't move away when I started leaning back into him. Our lips were just about to touch when a slight push on my shoulder stopped me. I gritted my teeth.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we have something urgent to discuss, Flora." Evan said. "If you would excuse us, please." The guy looked surprised yet again and before he could utter a word, Evan was already dragging me away from him.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is that these are my sister's guests and you flirting with them just to prove a point is not okay." he said lowly in his deep voice. I huffed in annoyance.

"You're coming with me." I opened my my to protest, but he cut me off. "Without uttering a word. Now."

As much as I wanted to slap him, I let him lead me up the basement stairs and out in the cold night without uttering a word like he told me to. It was true that I didn't want to cause a scene at Emily's party.

"Let go now!" I yanked my hand free from his grip. "You can go back to your goddamn party. I'm leaving."

"Wait, how are you going back?" he asked. "I've already called you a cab from a private service. It'll be safe."

I looked at him carefully to see if he was joking. I let out a sarcastic chuckle. I turned around and started walking away from him.

"Flor–"

"Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone, Evan?" I practically shouted, turning to face him. "I don't have to tell you shit. You're not my boss anymore. You're not my anything anymore."

He stared back into my eyes and I'm sure he could see the emotions in them. The frustration, the hurt and the tiredness, I let it all show. I was drained. The way he looked at me, so cautiously, it almost made me feel like he cared. Like nothing wrong had ever happened between us. Like I was still Scarlett and Flora Edwards didn't exist.

It angered me even.

"It's because you're upset and—"

"Oh, and you're what? Worried?" My voice broke at the end of the sentence, but my expression remained cold as ever. "Don't pretend to care, Evan. I know you don't."

"I've cared too much in the past, Flora. And look what happened." he said softly. "You can't blame me for not wanting to care anymore."

My breath got caught up in my throat.

A cab drove and stopped beside us on the empty street. The window rolled down. "For Mr Carter?" the driver asked.

Our staring match was still on.

I swallowed my pride and got into the cab wordless. I couldn't bare to stand there in front of Evan anymore. My emotions were too high.

As the cab began to move, my tears did too, falling freely from my eyes.

______

Q- How do you feel about Evan?

PS:  I know it's frustrating to wait, but I'm trying to write good & long chapters. It takes time. Please try to be patient.

Faith