CHAPTER THREE

Why don't you ask me
Why is it so hard to fall in love
Why don't you ask me
Why can I never ever ever try
Why don't you ask me
Why everything is going this way
Why don't you ask me
I guess we don't know
They say the one that you truly love hurts you the most
Now the one that I truly love hurt me the most
Now the one that you truly love is hurting you the most
I guess I'll never know
Why I got so cold
It's not your fault

×××××

Sitting in the veranda of my rented house, I stared at the red tulips planted in front of it. Looking at them always reminded me of my childhood and made me feel free. I had always craved freedom more than anything in this world perhaps because I had spent most of my life feeling trapped.

Evan made me feel free. I felt like I didn't have to be someone else with him. Even though I hid under the name Scarlett Stone, I felt more myself than ever with him. He made me embrace my true self, rather than run from it like I had been doing all these years. I had no problem in being a con girl before I met him. I thought the solution to all my problems was to forget who I really was and be someone else, but I didn't realize how suffocated I felt in such a life until he came in.

He allowed me to be me. He was like a key to my cage. He was my red tulip, the only one who could make me feel free.

Until he had me arrested.

I could never erase that night from my head. His betrayal was burnt inside my brain. Every second I spent in that cell, my love for Evan turned to hate which kept growing stronger.

He let me taste freedom, happiness and love before he robbed me off it completely.

I was there for one hour before Ella bailed me out.

It should've relieved me, but it didn't. If anything, it made my pain grow immensely. I couldn't stop thinking that if Ella hadn't gotten me out, I would be in there for God knows how long. It shattered me to think that Evan just left me there to rot. He didn't care enough to look back. He didn't care at all.

And so I decided to never ever look back either.

Until today.

I despised myself for being weak. I had ought to never let Evan Carter break me again, but just one look at him and I was breaking already.

I wiped my tears off and took a deep breath. I didn't have to do this to myself. I knew he was going to ask for another wedding planner. If he didn't, I would pull out of this wedding myself. I wasn't going to put myself through so much pain again.

I wouldn't let me break again.

$~~~$

I knocked on Gabrielle's office door before entering. Behind her huge black spectacles, her eyes left the laptop screen to meet mine and she offered me a warm smile.

"Flora, how's work going? I talked to Emily and she certainly has faith in you. Thanks for handling this." Gabrielle praised.

I frowned, wondering if I heard her correctly. I was very sure that Evan was going to ask Emily to dismiss me and ask for another wedding planner. I wouldn't even be surprised if he told my boss about my past, hoping to get me fired.

"Really?" I said dumbly. "I mean, when exactly did you talk to her?"

"This morning. An hour ago infact. I actually didn't speak to her directly. It was Mr Carter who told me that Emily was quite content with the discussion she had with you regarding the wedding." she spoke casually while making some notes from her laptop, having no idea the confusion her were going to leave me with.

"M-Mr Carter?"

"Yes. Emily's cousin. He told me you both met yesterday?" I nodded my head slowly, still unsure if all that really happened. "He is the only family she has plus he is a big businessman. You must've read about him in those economic newspapers, the boring kind. Anyway, it's important for him to be happy with the preparations. I'm sure you'll see to that."

I balled my hands into tight fists, unable to form any logical or good-hearted explanation behind Evan wanting me to plan his cousin's wedding. He was clearly up to something and had ulterior motives behind the generous words he said about me to Gabrielle. Hadn't he done enough? Wasn't one year sufficient for him to let it go?

It wasn't for you.

I wanted to ignore the voice inside my head, but even I knew that there hadn't been a single day since my arrest that had gone by without me thinking about Evan. Sometimes with anger, sometimes with pain and as much as I hated to admit, sometimes with longing. But that didn't mean I actually wanted to be near him. Not after everything.

"Flora? Flora!" I jumped slightly at Gabrielle's voice. "If you frown any harder, I'll start believing that I'm punishing you in some way by assigning you this client!" she laughed jokingly, not knowing that her words weren't far from truth. I almost let out a bitter chuckle at the irony.

She must've noticed my lack of amusement."What's wrong? You seem genuinely tensed. Is there any problem? Do you...have some issue with our client or...someone associated with them?"

"No, of course not! I'm just..a little tensed about this whole event. There is so much to organize, I should get back to work."

Everything inside me was screaming to tell her that I didn't want to organize Emily's wedding, but I couldn't. Maybe it was because I didn't want to disappoint her or maybe because I didn't want to be a coward and back out and give Evan the satisfaction, I don't know. Either way, I could feel my resolve go down the drain quicker than I could blink.

"If there is any problem, you know you can tell me without hesitation."

"There isn't." I said firmly. "Don't worry. I've got this."

And as I left her office, I wished that the lie I told her would somehow become the truth.

$~~~$

It had been two weeks since I last saw Evan. Since then, I had been spending all my time with Emily planning the wedding, yet I never crossed paths with him. At first I couldn't help but wonder whether he was avoiding me, but later I concluded that he was a busy person and simply had no reason to be around right now. I anyway didn't know how close he and Emily were. Maybe he wouldn't even be present at all of the events. Who knows?

"They don't call it the city of love for no reason." Alan, one of the photographers that we had booked for the wedding, grinned. "There is plenty there apart from the Eiffel Tower, of course. We'll do the photoshoot at Tuileries Gardens, Bir-Hakeim Bridge and any other place you have in mind. We showed you our work before, why be doubtful now?"

"I've never even heard of half the places in this list." Emily pointed at the list that contained names of places and details regarding the photoshoot at different spots. "It's supposed to feel like Paris and it doesn't. We got plenty of bridges here too, why go to Paris for that?"

I could hear the frustration in her voice which wasn't very uncommon for brides, especially when the big day was getting nearer. Their journeys usually began with a lot of excitement, then overwhelming amount of stress and tension and eventually cold feet in some cases. At times it was exhausting listening to these ladies complain about things they were once happy with, but it was understandable considering how most of them dreamt of their wedding day since childhood and wanted it to be absolutely perfect. Nevertheless, reassuring them was a part of my job.

"Emily, why don't we take a break? Get some lunch and then come back?"

"Paris won't change till the time we do that." she muttered under her breath. "But sure, let's. I am really hungry."

We ended up at a cafe right around the corner. I scanned through the menu, my eyes settling on a ham burger and milkshake meal. Then I glanced at Emily and sighed inwardly, deciding on a salad. It would be cruel if I ate fast food in front of her, considering she was on a diet until the wedding.

"Thanks."

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of what she was thanking me for. "Um, I'm just doing my job."

"No, not for that." she chuckled. "For trying to calm me down without actually implying that I was being a panicking pain in the ass. I don't know why I'm questioning every decision I've made so far."

"It's fine. I can only imagine the stress you're in right now." I said truthfully. Yes, she was certainly being a pain in the ass, but I understood.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" she blurted.

I raised my eyebrows. "No. Why?"

"Even if you're single right now, you must've imagined getting married one day. I don't want you to think of me as a spoilt brat who can only complain. It's just that this is the most important day of my life." she said with a sigh.

Her words surprised me. Yes, it was true that I always took her for a rich, spoilt brat who couldn't be satisfied with anything. After all there are people who would kill to even visit Paris and she was getting a week long wedding there and yet she managed to be all whiny.

Emily was a bit spoilt, but her words made me reconsider my opinion of her. She seemed genuinely apologetic of her behavior even if she didn't have to be.

"You know, I'm considering having a little party this weekend to cool off a bit." Emily said excited. "It'll be fun, what say?"

I sighed inwardly. "We still have a couple of important things on our hand. Let's discuss those first. We are keeping the RSVP cutoff at three weeks, but you must've personally confirmed the presence of close family and friends already, right? We need an approximate count of that."

"Yes, I mean, I don't really have any family apart from Evan, but I have quite a lot of close friends, apart from my bridesmaids of course."

My curiosity got the best of me and even though I knew I shouldn't, I still asked, "You don't have any aunts? I mean, out of all the weddings I've organised, they are the hardest to please!" I faked a laugh. In reality, I just wanted to know about Evan's mother, that is, Emily's aunt. I didn't have any reason as to why I wanted to know, especially as everything between us was over, but I couldn't help myself. I remembered he told me he didn't know where his mother was. It always made me wonder if he had cut her out of his life for some reason or...

Emily had a bitter expression on her face as she confirmed what I always suspected. "My only aunt is dead. She ODed on drugs seven years ago."

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