Chapter one • Astronomy

***
Tammy wasn't like every other girl in a cliché romance novel.

She was different in ways I didn't even know people could be. Letting people walk all over her wasn't a new thing she has done; She sometimes made it look like she deserves to be treated that way. People really didn't care about how she felt; All they knew was that she let them do it.

She let her father's uncle molest her at the age of eight and let her oldest male cousin rape her till she fainted.

All these trauma didn't affect her personality though, not one bit. That's what made people treat her like shit.

They believed she enjoyed it since she didn't seem to need to go to therapy like every other traumatized kid out there.

But what they didn't know was that Tammy had to fight for her life with herself every single day before she stepped out of her room.

She would always look back at the rope sitting pretty at the corner in her room and have bad thoughts- bad bad thoughts.

Tammy needed an escape from reality; She was on the verge of breaking with anyone noticing.

She wasn't like others who self harmed or starved themselves or inflicted any form of suffering to themselves.

She enjoyed the mental suffering because she believed she deserved it.

Why?

Because when she was four, she let her baby brother drown in a pool. Some believed it wasn't her fault; While some pointed fingers at her and called her a murderer.

And she would always wonder if they even took a second to think of how the reality that she killed her own baby brother with her own hands haunted her.

So of course she enjoyed the pain; She enjoyed the suffering believing it was her punishment for taking away the only one who could've loved her to death.

But she didn't know someone else did love her to death.

She didn't know someone could be so desperate to belong to her world.

She didn't know that someone could be as twisted and sick in the head to love somebody like her.

That someone so unfortunately happened to be me.

I snap out of my thoughts noticing that my father is snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Yes dad?"

"I've legit being calling you for two mins now.. I didn't know you were cooped up in your room thinking about what not." He eyes me.

That's my dad.

He left my mom and I when I was just five and came back when I was eleven. I think that was the period that I and Tammy bonded the most. We both had holes in our lives. I needed a father while she needed love.

"Sorry dad, I was just stressed that's all." I say taking off my shirt to lay on the bed.

"I bought some takeout pasta and pepperoni pizza, want some?"

My dad and I only ever bonded over food for the past six years. I guess this is his way of trying to bond with me because there isn't any other significant thing we both liked.

"I'm coming." I say jumping into bed, leaving him to stare at me before getting out and shutting my door.

I laugh before getting up and getting another shirt from my closet.

There's no way I'm going to the kitchen now; I really don't want to hear anything about how an Aston Martin DB11 is the sexiest car he's ever laid his eyes on.

I open my windows and jump off before walking over to Tammy's house.

I knock on her front door before her middle aged Mexican mother, Tania, opens the door for me.

"Mikey.." She looks surprised to me.

I would be to if I were her. Ever since I told Tammy how I felt about her, we haven't talked because we got into a huge argument and I'm sure she hates me now.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Princeton." I say with a soft smile.

I think of myself as a handsome boy even though I don't get many compliments on my looks. I think it's because of how much I scowl at people but oh boy does my face light up whenever I see Tammy.

"Tammy's on the roof." She says and turns to leave to the kitchen, obviously already tired of my presence.

I softly rush upstairs to the roof so she doesn't know I'm here. There's light coming from the top of the stairs meaning that the door to the roof is open.

As soon as I get there, I see her. I see her looking down at the cars as they drive by with her chocolate brown hair flying around in the wind. She has an Evelyn Hugo book by her side with the necklace I gave her two years ago for her birthday around her neck.

I stand watching her look closely at something till I realize that she's staring at my window.

"Tammy."

She shakes obviously frightened before standing up to look at me angrily. She picks up her book and smacks my head with it.

"What'd you do that for? Huh?" She says aggressively while continuing to smack me as I cover myself with my hands laughing. "Something must be very wrong with you Michael; If you catch me off guard again, I will cut off the heads of all your childhood animals and roast them in front of your tied up body on your birthday." She says with a smile on her face that reaches her eyes.

It's been a long time since I saw that smile.

She suddenly realizes how close we are and back off. Her smile changes into a scowl.

"Well, what are you doing here?" She says dragging out the 'you'.

The atmosphere changes and there's no longer laughter from each of us. I take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about what I said Tammy-," I begin to go into a full on rant. "-I'm really sorry, trust me, I am. I don't know what came over and I'm sorry if I potentially destroyed our friendship because I've been thinking about this for weeks now-"I take a deep breath. "I understand if you want to stop talking to me forever and ever but I want to let you know that I can forget about what I said only if you forget about it too because I don't want such a silly slip-up to ruin our friendship, you get me? You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me ever since I found myself on this floating blob we live in at seven-thirty am in the morning on August 12, 2004.. anyways, I just want to let you know how sorry I am and if you want us to forget about this friendship, I'll gladly do it for you.. not gladly but I'll gladly do it if it's what'll make you happy because I think-"

I'm interrupted by a punch on my shoulder. "Just shut up already.." She rolls her eyes with an uneasy glint in her eyes. "-you're making me want to prefer when you weren't around to blab all the time." She shrugs with a smile leaving me stunned.

My heart did cartwheels.

I'm so glad things can be okay between us. Now I can stop making up fake scenarios in my head about how she'll fucking kill me when-

"I'm willing to forget you ever said that because I also don't want to lose you Mikey." She says with a smug smile, obviously trying to mock my vulnerability.

"But I swear if you say shit like that to me again, I will send all your embarrassing text messages from when you went on tinder to your parents."

We both laugh as I go to sit beside her on top of the roof.

"I'm okay with the cutting off of all the heads of my babies but please.. I want the memory of those messages to follow us to the grave, you hear me?". She bursts out laughing while I stare at her.

"I can't promise anything, Mikey." She says after a long calm silence.

_________

hey y'all, this is the first book I'm writing after my very long break lol. I hope I can even have enough motivation to finish this book because I really like the idea of it.

I don't have a set schedule for posting so ill just be posting randomly :)

i hope you enjoyed this chapter, please vote if you did and i'll really appreciate constructive criticism because I haven't been writing for a while, might've gotten a little rusty yk

also should I make this a short story or long story? let me know! :)

anyways bye.. till we meet again ;) <3