Author's note
~~~~~~

Hey dearies 🥰
If you're reading this chapter right now, I want to send to you, a big thank you and a beautifully sealed letter of "I love you".
Thanks for giving this book a chance.💓

Guess what?
Lots of goodies, awaits you..
One of them is that, we're gonna be having two prologue's.

Amazing right?

And yes...I truly love you 🌺
Giving this book support, would mean a lot to me🤗🏵
Please kindly vote at the end of this chapter ☺
Be sure to also; comment and share💮✨
Thanks in advance 💙

Gosh!
I'm blabbing right?

*shyly*
I'm sowie🥺

******
~

Prologue a°~

🌼🏵💮🖤✍
•°•°~~~
"So, I never really knew you, God I really tried to. Blindsided, Addicted.
Felt we could really do this,
But really, I was Foolish.
Hindsight it's obvious.

Talking with my lawyer,
She said " where'd you find this guy?"
I said "Young people fall in love, with the wrong people sometimes."

Some mistakes get made, that's alright, that's okay.
You could think that you're in love,
When you're really just in pain,
In the end it's better for me,
That's the moral of the story babe."

Ashe- Moral of the story.⚜🎶💐💝

•°•°•°•°•°✍🖤

Let's dive in now, shall we?😚
Enjoy!!🥂

🌼💮🌸🌺🖤✍
****

•"Love that lost in time,
Love that bleeds,
There is no heal for that love, ••••
There is only shove,
The way I feel for you,
Is the same that you did for me,
Now, left with no desire,
Nothing to come after,
And nothing prior."•

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~✍
Endi
*********

Closing my eyes, I felt pleased, after what seemed like a long time, as I laid down on my bed, taking satisfaction in the softness it lent. The way it caressed my skin. I loved. The way it wasn't harsh. I appreciated. The way it didn't bruise. I cherished.

But, still, I couldn't help but wonder.
Why- why?
Why life couldn't be this soft to, us all?
Why was life, so; hard, tough, cruel and yet dangerous?
A thousand questions flooded through my mind but, all I wanted to phrase, them, in was a subtle "Why?"

Just "Why?"

I smiled weirdly knowing my beautiful questions had exquisitely unknown answers. Or so I thought.

Opening my eyes, I rolled, laying on my stomach. Heads on pillow. Eyes wondering around. I looked around my room in a funny yet questioning manner. Everything was still the same.

The images I hung around the nooks of the world I created In my room, They were all written in Spanish. I smiled.They all led to one beautiful road.

Then my eyes caught one in particular. It read ; Yo voluntad siempre amor vos.( I will always love you )

Remembering the meaning, I fretted. I wish he was able to keep to those words- which looked like they were pretty precious to me.

I wish he'd always love me. Just the way he had onetime confessed.

He can't. My subconsciousness uttered. I frowned. That was indeed a true fact.

Why, would I still wish for him to always love me?

He loved someone else now and I clearly new that. In fact, he loved her dearly. I'm sure he wouldn't mind dying for her.

Still, wishing for him to always love me was just a; false dream, more like a pure waste off time.

I softly snorted, with slight frustration.

Knowing he would probably get married to her at the end of it all, made me feel good and bad.

Bad in the sense that. I wished it was me.

Good in the sense that. I loved him. Sincerely, from the depth of my heart, I genuinely loved him. I still do. And because of the way I feel towards him, In my heart, his happiness was a priority. A top one. Whether or not; the choice he made was in my favour.. Whether it made me happy or sad, eitherways...his happiness still came first. Always will.

It was the least I could do. He had always cared for me, showed me love and made me understand that my happiness was a top priority to him. He cared for me to a fault. Or so I reasoned.

I wiped a betrayal tear that rolled down my cheeks.

I couldn't help it. Only the memory of his words; brought the rains of pain cascading down the window pane of my unexplainable emotions. He was; my Elysian, my peace. The solace in which I seeked. But I guess he never...really knew. I thought I had established that fact with him, but, I guess I was wrong after all. All wrong.

Then I looked over to another one, dangling on the wall.

Drawn on it was image of a guy who looked at a girl, as though, she was his only means of survival. They seemed to be in love.Or so people thought. He looked into her own orbs, as if, she was a diamond of some sort.

I couldn't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy. I just wished for the same.With him.

Tearing my gaze away, I looked at my ceiling, like it was the most fascinating stuff, I've ever seen.

Seriously...

Everything -They all held a memory. Over the time, my room had become a hiding place.My hiding place.

It wasn't the best place, because the demons always surfaced but at least it was better than being among the people who acted like they loved me but really didn't.

Sighing softly, I slowly stood up, shivering a little, as, my small sized feet, came in contact with the cold floor of my room. Stepping few feets away from my study table, I peeked in search of my phone. But I didn't see it, walking nigher, I lifted up my books, expecting it to be there.To my surprise it wasn't there.

Then where was it? I wondered.

Standing still, I looked up to the ceiling, with my index finger on my chin, I tried, recollecting where I kept it.

........

Then it clicked in!

I had forgotten it at our home library, when I angrily stormed out during an argument leaving my elder sister bewildered.

Hurrying, I made my way out of the door, Trying to turn the doorknob. I stumbled, almost falling on my face. Regaining my composure, I hissed muttering few profanities like; sh*t, F*ck. Nothing much, right?

The messages- My eyes widened.

I didn't swipe-Damn! Oh, no..

I needed to get my phone and I had to do it now!

With that I raced to the library.

•••••••••🌺🖤✍

In no time, I was back in my room and luckily for me, no one had gotten there before me, though I was feeling unsure because If anyone saw those messages, my life would be ruined and......................................................
Boom!!!.. then I would be doomed!

Pushing the thoughts down, I swallowed the imaginations of what could have happened if someone had saw it.

"What if someone actually did?" My subconsciousness voiced. Making me roll my eyes.

It wasn't surprising, we never really agreed on anything. I repeat ANYTHING.

With uncertainty still flooding in my stomach, I silently muttered "Oh, Lord help me."

Fidgeting, I placed my hands on the necklace my late grandmother had gifted to me. It was the first gift I received from her, well not literally. She always did shower me with lots of gifts when I was more little. But this necklace had been special for she had gifted it to me, when she was at the hospital.At the point of death.

Not to mention, it was also the last gift I ever received from her. One of the major reasons I cherished it, with all my heart and guarded it, with all my life.

Plugging my earphones in my ears. I did what I was best at. Listening to music.

°•I just wanna dive in the water with you, Maybe we can see the bottom.
It's so easy to fight for each other. I just hope. We can catch one another.
Oh na na, Just be careful na na.
Love is simple na na
Promise me no promises." Cheat codes ft. Demi Lovato - no promises.

"Promise me no promises." I murmured, trying to know how that simple yet, complex phrase, sounded. As my weak voice managed to slice through the icy and raw silence that had now become so thick like a sarape blanket- imported straight from Mexico.One that had always draped over my room.Ever since it happened.

"Promise me no promises." I said again. Wishing I had told him so.

I got no reaction. It gave me a little relieve. Maybe not totally but at least it felt good to know the inner demons were asleep.

"Love is simple na na." I said in a not so, sing like voice. Instead, it rolled out on my tongue, in a harsh manner, it held along with it, a tray filled with large plates, that carried in them, Shattered emotions. For, when I said it I knew, it was a wrong statement. A very wrong one. If there was anything that was simple, it definitely couldn't be love. love wasn't in any way simple.

Love has never been simple, it wouldn't be and would never be.

If love was simple my soul wouldn't be so broken.

°•Escaping nights without you, with shadows on the wall. My mind is running wild. Trying hard not to fall.°•
Enrique Igelesias- Why not me.

My mind is running wild. Trying hard not to fall.

Upon hearing these words,I choked, suddenly feeling suffocated, needing air,with a;vast urge to breathe, To live again.

My mind was indeed running wild but I wasn't trying hard not to fall. I had fallen a thousand times. Right now, I was also falling.

°•When you told me that you love me.
Was I a fool to believe in you?
When you told me I was special
Was I dumb for trusting you?°•
-Unkown

I couldn't hold it anymore. I sobbed.
I didn't need a result to know I was a fool to believe, his words.
His words. They had been; so sweet, alluring, sensational and on top it all Manipulative.
The words in which he used to make me even after breaking me.

Helen Rowland was so right, when, she had said "Falling in love, consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense"

It was indeed true.
When you fall in love, your sense stops working.
Then everything becomes an imagination.

I looked around. All I could see was grey.

Then, I began to wonder.

Sometimes I just wonder,
Why did this ever start?
You took a route not so wise,
Do you know how I suffice?
Without you, it's very tough,
Everything looks babe and rough,
I love you and you knew that,
But,it didn't affect you at all,
The space in my heart is big,
You made it look so very small without your love!

Because..

You were the one I loved,
The one with all my might,
You left me in vain,
Gave me tears and so much pain,
The one I gave my heart,
Went so apart,
I don't believe in love,
I don't know what you will say,
I just know that it is all in a mess,
In a big dismay,
Love has no meaning now..

Standing up, I sat up on my bed. Bending over, I placed my hands on the handle of the bed attached drawer. Not gaining access the way I wanted. I groaned in slight frustration.

Seating on the floor, I opened it wildly. Flinging out the papers, I came across.They weren't the one's I needed . I wanted to read them now.. I felt a strong urge to..

Why the heck were they ,now?

Maybe they were stacked in the second drawer.

Making moves to stand up, my eyes suddenly sighted the edge of a black book.

It's it, isn't it?

I contemplated, wondering if I should check the other drawer

Just check it already! I thought, having a small argument, within myself.

Bending over, I picked the book, pulling it by the edge.

And...

Tadan!!

It was the book. I smiled victoriously, holding it high like it a trophy.

Seating up on my bed with my back resting on my soft pillow.

What? Not everyone has a sof pillow na

Opening the book I read part of the innumerable poems , I had written for him.But never had the chance to read it to him.

Yeah, I'm a hidden poet.
He had unleashed that part of me.

Alot of parts my inner voice reminded.

I rolled my eyes.

Must she always have to interfere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My love for you was so pure,
My love for you was so true,
I loved you so much.
No point in taking blame,
What is in all the name.
If you did not understand me,
The way I did,
Why didn't you believe in my love
The passion in my eyes.
Now, I got the lesson,
Of being so wise,
Of being in love with you.

Standing near the ocean,
Looking helpless at the waves,
Remembering the time spent with you,
When everything felt so new.
Love was the only reason of life,
Love was the reason, I survived,
Then why that love turned to pain,
And left so me silent tears in vain.
Is love so painful in life,
Then there is no point in all that strive.
Feeling unpleasant on being alive.

Love is forever in time,
When you were all mine,
We could not stand the test of love,
Reasoning, I could not find, I loved you with all my might.
But then everything went off sight.
Why did this happen to me?
Why this I had to see?
Love and pain is for company.
Not sure would be able to love again,
Not sure will be able to trust.

I miss him My heart whispered.

Still remember the days spent with you,
Still remember the silent night,
When love was so bright,
Oh,why did you leave me and go?
Why did you hide?
Left me with emotions of blue,
Sadness everywhere,
Miss you with silent tears.

Let's go back to him My subconsciousness suggested, sobering up.

I so loved you from the start,
You had a special place in my heart,
But,things are not the same today,
I really don't intend to say that.
You don't love me the way you used to,
There is a feeling of desire but blue,
Please give me back your time...
Please let me call you mine.............

Just call him and tell him, you still love him. My heart proposed.

I silently sobbed.

It wasn't that easy to tell him, I still love him. He doesn't even wanna talk to me..he doesn't wanna have any connection with me.

The pain which I got to love you,
Has no resort in life,
The tears that I cried for you,
That feeling of being blue,
You did not have a clue.
That I so loved you,
But you went away without feeling me,
Without you, there is nothing left to see.

My bleeding heart, my witty subconsciousness and me....we all missed him.

Reading it, I sighed, wiping away the tears but failed miserably, as they gushed out the more like a flowing river.

I miss him..I still want him.

I felt hurt..broken and sad. Not majorly because he left me, but because he never gave me the chance to explain what really happened. To tell him how I really felt.

I knew, even after everything it'd be stupid of me to still want him but knowing it would be stupid of me, didn't diminish the fact that I still wanted him..badly. I craved for him so much for a moment I thought my clothes would be on fire, for I was burning with desire for him to hold me in his arms, kiss my lips softly with care and tenderness, for him to be my shoulder to cry on-

My breath hitched as I remembered when he said to me; Baby, I wanna be your man.

With that a tear dropped...

🌺🌺🌺🌺🖤🖤✍✍✍

Hey lovies😚

This chapter is dedicated to maramartha I love her so much🙈😅🤭
Though, I feel bad cause I'm one of her ghost readers, that's not on purpose though. I vote! But whenever I wanna comment, something comes up and I end up forget.

But one day one day sha, I'd fill her comment section and vote till I run out of votes😚💓

It's a promise 💮

You should all check out her books 📖
They are amaaaaaaazzzzzziiiiiiingggg 🌹💓
Especially the #weekend series.

You had better read it before it turns a paid story😏
Yeah, it's that amazing 😍🥰

Thanks for reading this chapter!

What do you think about this chapter?

I apologise for the grammatical and typographical errors🤍

Please voice your thoughts in the comments section 🥺

And also pretty pleaseeeeee vote ✅
It would mean a lot to me☺

I love you all!

Except our second prologue soon💃💃💃

Who's happy about that?

Meeeeee💓💃💃

By now, you must have noticed I talk too much 😂😂

No vex , my people 💃😂
Na una love dey scatter my head oo💓

Lol

Nnguanu byebye ☺️

Odabooooo😂😂

Let's meet in the comments section ❣️

P:s The poems aren't mine.. credit to the owners🌼