" Are you gonna say that you were pregnant with his baby or not?" Sanjay said and my world stopped at that moment. She was pregnant? What the fuck?"

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~~~~~ past continuation ~~~~~

I am so confused right now. She was pregnant with my child and I didn't even know. All I see is red, hurt, depressed, lost. How could she do that to me? She very well knows about me.

" What are you crazy? Definitely, no. He would kill me if he gets to know that I aborted his child. He had all those ideas to have a family with me. I'm not into it and even if I get married to him I won't be there with his family. They all talk about everyone living together in the same house. And you know Mrithun wants to start his own business. He has an empire waiting for him but he doesn't want it. What a fool? I thought I would settle with the money he inherited but he is stubborn." Dharani said to Sanjay. 

I don't why I'm still standing here and waiting here. Something says to wait and not to react just yet.

" Hmm...but you went for him. Leaving me. You are always mine. Mine to be savoured but he got in between us. Dump him soon and we shall get going baby." Sanjay said.

" Soon...I will soon be yours. Till then, kiss me." She said.

"Did you love him? He always says he is in love with you. Are you?" He moans and I'm disgusted here controlling myself. What she says next states my action.

" I was attracted to him. Yes, physically but not emotionally. You know me I would never get emotional. He always says that even when we are intimate. I accepted his pleasure but not his emotions. I couldn't handle it anymore and you came along. I will break up with him once the finals are over. I need to concentrate on passing otherwise my dad will block my credit card." She said.

She added, " I already spent 25000 thousand rupees for aborting. I don't know what to say to my parents if they get to know."

That's it.  I clapped my hands and got in front of them. The position they were in make me puke.

I moved closer to them and I couldn't stop myself. I slapped her hard on her cheeks. Which left a mark.

" Are you crazy...? hitting women you bastard," Sanjay said and raised his arm to hit me. But I caught it and hold him by his throat.

" Shut the fuck up. I am not yet done with her. You better be quiet until I'm finished with her and don't tempt me. Trust me, you fucker. It won't end any better for what I'm planning on for you"  I spat on him and threw him on the floor. He was choking and gasping for air.

I turned towards the girl who thought the love of my life and she broken into pieces.
I slapped her again.

" How could you do that? Are you even a woman? How could one kill her own child? My child you bitch!" I yelled at her.

" Baby... I'm not going to answer you. It's my body and I can do whatever the fuck I want." She snapped at me and this got me.

I hit Sanjay on his jaw and his nose. He started to bleed.

" What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are hitting him?" She yelled at me?

I grabbed her by her throat and said, " Don't shout. You don't have any rights to yell at me. I don't how stupid I am to trust you, worse  love you." I released her from my hold.

" I'm disgusted to even touch you. I'm disgusted that I fell in love with you. I'm stupid that I gave everything to you. I'm crazy that I fought and defended you from all the people who loved and cared for me. I'm fucking fool that I separated from reality and lived in a stupid lie with you. You very well know how much I love my family but I threw them away for you. I lost my best friends, my siblings. It's been months since I talked with them. I did everything for you. I tried to mend our relationship but it's clear that you were not up for it. You could have said that you only needed pleasure. So that I would have fucked you and not loved you. You don't deserve the fucking shit I gave you! If I had known this before I wouldn't have entered into this filthy disgusting whole you had dug." I yelled at her and all the pent-up frustrated and punched Sanjay who is on the floor.

I don't feel a bit guilty. I was breathing so hard.

" I would have saved myself for the person who deserved it. My first kiss, my first love, my virginity, and all my fucking first I had with you. Shared with you." I was at the peak of anger and I didn't notice my friends were standing there looking at the scene in front of them.

I don't know when they came but not one made the move to stop me. I don't even deserve to call them their friends.

" Why did you abort my child? What the fuck did that small living thing did to you? Was it his or her mistake it got into you? What did the baby do? That it died before seeing the face of the earth? You killed my child. You are murder. Don't even say that it was my fault you got pregnant. You were the one who said it was not a problem. You knew and you carried on. And now I lost my baby because of you. How many months you have been?" I asked her with venom laced in my voice.

She was so stunned by my action. I snapped her out and questioned her again.

" Six....six weeks pregnant. I... I found it last week" she shuttered her words.

"Fucking last week? And you haven't said that to me. The whole week you carried my baby but decided not to tell me and proceeded for abortion. Wow..... fucking great." I yelled at her.

She cringed at it.

" When did you kill my child? Say it!" I shouted at her.

" Yesterday morning." She said and that's it I slapped her hard again. But I was held back by Kamal and Shafar and some other guys.

Few guys took Sanjay away from the scene but no one dared to speak.

" You killed my child yesterday? And you are here in the library going to fuck him while we are still in a relationship? I feel disgusted that I was inside you. I feel sorry that I let my child form in your womb. He or she shouldn't deserve you as their mother. Even now I couldn't call you names. If I did, I will bring more shame to my parents. They would felt disgusted that they brought up a terrible son like me." I spat at her.

"Shuh...Machan comes on. Leave her! Let's get out of here." By now I was a crying mess. I looked to where Dharani was there. She was on the floor crying.

" Who the hell are you crying for? Huh? To prove yourself. Fuck you and I'm so done with you. Don't you ever show you face me?" I cursed her and I was dragged away from the library.

My friends hugged and comforted me. They were giving assurance but I can't. The way I'm feeling right now wants me to end my life.

They took me to the hostel where I was living. Kamal, Shafar, and Monish never left me alone. My exams are next month and I couldn't concentrate. My parents contacted me, I didn't attend.

And I avoided everyone around me. Campus hot news was my break up story and I must say it was trending. I was feeling depressed and got into deep shit.

I was not feeling good and I consumed alcohol and weed. Since the day I broke up with her. It's been a week I lost my child and everything.

I came to my room and while I was packing some clothes to get away, I came across drugs which Sanjay gave on his birthday.

I decided to quit my life. My dream crashed right in front of me. What else is there for me? I'm ashamed of the way I avoided my family. With that, I took the drugs and that's the last thing I remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~present~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked at her and she wiped my eyes. I didn't even know I was crying. Shristi took my hand and lifted it.

She stood up and she paid the bill. I protested but she gave me stern look 'to shut the fuck up'.

" Give me your car key, I will drive." She asked me and I gave her the keys. We got in and she droves to the Anna Nagar Tower Park which was nearby.

She parked the car and we got out.

" Come, Let's go there." I held my arms and we walked together. We were walking for a few minutes.

This park is one of my favourite places and my dad used to bring us here every chance he gets.

We were silent and were looking around the park. I stopped her and hugged her tightly and she reciprocated the same. She was comforting me.

" Come on, Let's sit over there," She said and pointed to the benches.

I nodded my head and looked around for anyone but it seems quiet. It's just 11:30 in the morning and people usually come here in the late afternoon, but you could see a couple here and there.

Once she sat down, I laid on her lap and took her hands to place them on my hair. She understood what I want and started to play with my hair.

We were in complete silence, I know she is not comfortable to be doing this in public but does it for me.

I don't what I did to deserve her. Like I said if I had known her before. Right now, she would have been my wife and mother to our children. I looked at her into her eyes. She smiles softly at me.

" Why are you looking at me like that?" She teased me and this made me smile a little.

" Why haven't I met you earlier? If I did, I wouldn't have gone through those pain." I said to her and couldn't form my words.

She looked from side to side and looked at me. She leaned down and kissed my forehead.

" You have me now. Everything happens for a reason. You came over those struggles. You had a hard time and I could understand it. I didn't know what you have gone through because I wasn't there. I could only say that I will be there for you and protect you. Take care of yourself and try to take away the pain. But you should be the one to allow me in to make you forget the past and create new memories. I will be there and I won't leave you." She said and I could help but hug her tightly and cry on her lap. She let me cry and saying soothing words to me.

" Cry your heart. We are here for you" she said and my heartfelt light.

" I will try my best for you. But I need your help with it, baby. I fucking need you." I said to her and she said one word that trapped me with her

"Always."

" So is that the way you are saying 'yes to this marriage'?" I asked and raised my eyebrows at her.

She blushed and said, "Yes, I'm saying 'Yes' for this marriage."

With that, I stood up and lifted her in the air and she giggled and asked me to put her down.

" Mrithun people are seeing, put me down! You are behaving as if you proposed to me." she said and looked at her.

Who said I am not a baby. With that, I put her down and moved closer to her. I turned her around and saw the chain I put on her. I removed the chain from her neck and got the ring out.

" This chain I brought it when I received my first profit. I brought my first car and went to a jewellery shop. There I bought some jewels for mom, sis, and Madhu. But this one here caught my attention. I don't know why I bought it then, something said to buy it. You said there is a reason for everything and this one here could be detached." I said to her and removed it and hold the ring out. Then I got down on one knee and her eyes widened. My heart was beating so fast that I'm doing this right now.

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Authors note

Well, I didn't expect that Mrithun will go down on one knee. What will be Shristi's saying?...is that a yes?

Stay tuned to my book for more updates.

Stay safe and be happy.

#loveyourself😎

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