"It's always good to see you so early, Diana."
"I know, Jacob. I am a ray of sunshine."
The nurse was puncturing my vein. "So how was it with William?"
"She didn't go. I tried to talk to him in a calm motion but she didn't take it well. I haven't heard from him since yesterday afternoon.'
"Diana, I know you love him. But you also have to try to enjoy life without him. I know that until now he has always been your point of reference, but with or without cancer, sooner or later, we are all going to die. And you can't waste time trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved." Jacob's words silenced me for the entire two hours of therapy. He was right. I couldn't go on like this. I couldn't try to convince him every time. At this point, I was starting to question even his love for me.
"I'm done for today. Here, I'll leave you my phone number in case you need to talk to someone.' Jacob, he gave me a note.
"Do you go around with your phone number written on a note?" I asked him, laughing.
"You never know. Anyway Diana, really think about the words I said to you earlier. Think about how you want to live your life."
"You're right, Jacob. Thank you". A small tear rolled down my face.
"Can I give you a hug?" she asked me.
"Certain". It was a friendly hug, but he squeezed me a little too tightly. Even though I had only known Jacob for a short time, she had helped me with everything. She had always supported me in everything. She didn't make me feel the burden of having cancer. She made me feel, normal. We joked and laughed out loud like we've known each other forever. He had told me about his parents' divorce, when he had sex for the first time, when as a child he liked to eat sand on the beach. I had never, in all my life, known a person in such a profound way. I was happy to have him as a travel companion in this experimental therapy.
After saying goodbye, I called Mary to help me get to the car.
«I see you thoughtful. It's still about Will, isn't it?' She nodded, looking out the window. Christmas was getting closer and closer, but I didn't feel the spirit. There was tension in my family because of therapy, things weren't going well with William and his addiction just made me feel guilty. All my life I've kept people away from me so they don't suffer. Still, he changed my mind. He made me see life in a different way. Perhaps, it was better if I never met him.
"Mary?" I looked at her.
"Yes?".
"Have you ever fallen in love with someone?"
"Sure, Diana. Sooner or later, it happens to everyone. Loves come and go."
"Why aren't you married?"
"Simply because I still haven't found the man I want to spend the rest of my days with." She too, he made me think. William was my first love, but was he the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?