It was Monday morning. I don't know why, but I should have gone to the hospital with my parents. Usually, checkups were done on Thursday afternoons at my house.
"Do you think it's something serious?" I asked looking out the window.
"Diana, let's not wrap our heads before we break it. Let's see what they have to say," my mother replied.
We were all a little worried. The doctors hadn't mentioned anything on the phone and usually talked to Mary about therapy and medications. She was the one who handled this sort of thing, but on her phone, the doctors said we would have to go talk to them without her.
About ten minutes later, we arrived at the hospital. We didn't know what could happen. When you have cancer, anything can happen.
My mom and I were trying hard to stay calm, but my dad was pacing the conference room, hands in his jeans pocket.
I have always had both good and bad memories in this room. Sometimes I was told that the cancer had gotten worse and that I needed more rounds of chemotherapy, and other times that the cancer hadn't changed.
After about twenty minutes of excruciating waiting, three doctors entered the room. Two, I already knew them. They have followed me ever since I found out I had cancer when I was four. I had never seen the third doctor. He was a man in his sixties or so, somewhat bearded.
"Good morning". The doctors said goodbye to my parents, but due to anxiety, I remained silent.
"We called you because we have some kind of proposition to make, but I'll let Dr. Richard do the talking. He will explain everything to you in detail.'
«Yes, well, a couple of months ago we started trying a new therapy on people with lung cancer. There was one case of a forty-year-old woman who, after just one month, had her cancer reduced by sixty percent. Now, however, I don't want to give you false hope either. In some people the drug has not worked; only brought bad symptoms. We know that Diana has now been under treatment for practically fifteen years and we would like to include her in our list to see if anything can be improved with this therapy, also given her young age ».
"I want do it!". I jumped up without even giving my parents a chance to speak.
"Diana, you also need to know that this therapy can lead to nausea and vomiting throughout the day, fatigue, constant chest pain and other symptoms."
"It does not matter. I've been carrying this monster here for fifteen years and if there's even the slightest chance that the therapy will work, I want to do it».
My parents exchanged a look.
"As a doctor, I must also inform you that there is a possibility that the cancer could get worse at any moment. If you approve this therapy, we will still do our best to make sure that doesn't happen."
I sat back in my chair and looked at my mother. "Mom, I've been waiting for years for a lung transplant that never comes. Let's try, please."
"Diana, you could be very sick."
"Dad?".
'We should ask Mary to check on you more often and if the symptoms are what Dr Richard indicated... I don't know, your mother is right.'
«There would also be four checks to be done every week here in the hospital, plus two at home. Diana, are you sure you want to do this?"
"Doctor, I have truly overcome every obstacle and as I said before, if there is even the slightest chance that this therapy will work, I want to do it".
"Messrs. Smith, if you agree too, these documents would have to be signed."
«It could be our only chance», I tried to convince my parents, who luckily finally gave up.
"All right. Let's try it», my father said, starting to sign the documents.
I've always been a down to earth girl. I've never had too many expectations or false hopes, but this time, it was different. I would also start praying to God every night if the need arose.
"Perfect. Tomorrow Diana will have to do the usual routine checks here in the hospital, then we will start with the new drugs and the new therapy".
"Thank you". My father and mother shook hands with the doctors who then walked out of the meeting room.
"Aren't you happy?" I asked my parents.
«Yes, we are, but what if Diana goes wrong? What if the cancer gets worse?" We were all confused and distressed. On the return journey, no one said a word. Perhaps, we were all thinking about what could have happened. Perhaps, we were imagining scenarios that could have happened in the future.