Summary:  "Well, I learned two things today. One, Disney wants to give clean, entertaining, bland, family-friendly material, and two, that the founder of Disney was a racist, sexist, closet Nazi. Who'da thunk?" Percy calls Disney out on its accuracy and ends up ruining his own childhood. Takes place after Blood of Olympus, before Trials of Apollo. One-shot. OOCness galore!

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Annabeth was concerned when she walked in on Percy staring blankly at the wall. Not that Percy didn't do that often, but still.

"Percy?" she asked gently. "Are you okay?"

"Wha...oh. Yeah, I'm fine. Just had a bit of an epiphany," Percy said.

"Epiphany...?" Annabeth asked.

"Yes."

"Okay...so, what is this great realization of yours?"

Percy stared at her before saying, totally serious, "Disney is stupid."

Annabeth blinked. "Huh?"

"I mean, come on, they didn't even do their research properly! It's a disgrace!"

"Percy," Annabeth said, "what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how wrong the movie 'Hercules' is. I mean, come on, it was like they weren't even trying!"

"And why were you thinking about this right now?"

"Because I wanted to write the story down for Lilly, the new Apollo camper. She's eight and has yet to see the movie. That's when I really thought about the actual plot of the movie."

"Okay...what's so bad about it?"

"First of all, the title. The movie is called 'Hercules', which is his roman representation, even though everything else obviously greek. I mean, come on! They've probably confused hundreds of little kids around the world and now they'll fail their greek mythology report!"

"True, but 'Heracles' doesn't exactly role off the tongue," Annabeth pointed out.

"What part does ease have in greek and roman mythology? Whatever. Anyway, then there's the fact that Hercules' mother is HERA. Like, no! No, his mother isn't Hera! The whole reason he was named Heracles was to try and appease her! The audience might have known this if his name was accurately put as HERACLES!"

"Percy, I think you're looking a little too much into this...Besides, they had to make the movie family friendly. I don't think a god cheating on his wife with a princess is family friendly."

"If they wanted something family friendly, why did they even THINK about greek and roman mythology?"

"To entertain kids."

"And give them faulty information!"

"It's not like it's the only time they've done that. The movie 'Pocahontas' wasn't exactly accurate, either."

"And I hold them responsible for that, too! For years, I thought that she had gotten her happily ever after! I was heartbroken in fourth grade history!

"Anyway, back to 'Hercules'. Then there's Meg. Is that even an ancient greek name?"

"I'm pretty sure Meg was short for Megara. You know, Heracles' first wife?"

"Yeah, I know her. I also know that he killed both her and their three kids after Hera, his 'mom'," cue air quotes, "cursed him with temporary insanity! He later went on to have another wife, Deianira, who accidentally kills him when she suspects that he's in love with someone else."

"Yeah, well, he didn't die."

"On the contrary, the Nekuia says that Odysseus saw Heracles' ghost in the underworld."

"That was probably just a mistake. Afterall, how could he have died when we met him in Italy? Remember that?"

"...oh yeah."

"I also just want to point out how weird that sentence was."

"Every other sentence we utter is weird."

"True, true."

"Anyway, I'm just overall dissatisfied with the company that's supposed to be the coolest thing on earth."

"I'm not surprised considering that the founder of Disney was a man that hated African Americans, denied girls the job to animate just because, and met with a Nazi propagandist. Not to mention his workers had some...ah, CHOICE words to call him."

"...really?"

"Yeah."

"Well," Percy sighed, putting down his paper, "you have officially destroyed my childhood."

"You were the one who dug too deep."

"I didn't even get to start on how they made Hades the antagonist! Why is he always considered the bad one? I mean, it's not that I like him, but come on! Cut the guy some slack! There are only two bad things that he's done in the myths: kidnapping Persephone, and cheating on his wife. And even then, he kidnapped Persephone because he was probably lonely, and he only cheated on his wife ONCE! Compared to Zeus, the guy that was supposed to be one of the most benevolent beings ever in 'Hercules', that's tame! And he did a lot to make the Underworld orderly and proper, making sure the good were rewarded and the evil were punished! I am particularly thankful for what he did to Tantalus. That guy was a prick!"

"I know, Percy. Just because someone is related to the dead or the underworld, they're commonly made the antagonist."

"Yeah. WE even did that on our first adventure together. The first person we thought 'Hey, he's OBVIOUSLY the bad guy!' about was Hades!"

"Yeah...where are you going with this?"

"...I don't really know."

"Was there a point to this conversation at all?"

"Well, I learned two things today. One, Disney wants to give clean, entertaining, bland, family-friendly material, and two, that the founder of Disney was a racist, sexist, closet Nazi. Who'da thunk?"

"Don't forget that his own workers pretty much despised him."

"Yes, yes, that too."

"...so this is what happens when you put that brain of yours to good use."

"I know. It's scary. That's why I don't do it."

"That explains SO much."

THE END

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