Sabrina

I open my eyes, finally, after laying in darkness for an eternity. My heart thuds as the world comes into focus. 

The Figure is still standing over me.

"Get up," it says, snapping fingers in my face, completely normal, human fingers. "You need to make breakfast for Cory."

It's just my father. 

I nod and scramble out of bed, not daring to speak. The purple walls of my room could dissolve at any second and bring that demon back. If I'm not careful, it'll grin at me and paralyze me with those gnashing teeth.

At least my father just snaps his fingers at me and tells me to cook for the family.

Because that's what we're supposed to be, a family. Him, my step-mother Stephanie, her son Cory, and me, I guess. Our Christmas cards read Happy Holidays from the Tansens!, with all of us grinning in red sweaters. Just, I don't look like I belong with them.

In fact, Harry Potter and I have a bit more in common than most can say, than most would want to say. When everyone dresses up as Harry Potter, they wear his wizard robes and wave a wand around. They don't dress in hand-me-downs or brag about living in a cupboard.

"Sabrina, let's go," my father says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Cory has his big hockey game today." I stumble out the door, trying to remind myself that I have a room, that I belong here. But even Harry had a room at some point, and powers.

Those drug-induced vivid dreams don't count. I have my own personal Voldemort who can take those powers away from me. His words come back to me, grating down my spine. This will be fun. I can't go back. I choke on bile, trying to calm down.

I don't feel like making breakfast. But, like a good house-elf, I smile, wish Cory and Stephanie a good morning, and whip out the frying pan.

"Did you sleep well?" Stephanie smiles, grabbing the eggs out of the fridge for me. I open the carton and crack a few eggs, watching them sizzle as they hit the hot pan.

"Of course," my father ays, grunting as he takes a seat at the table, "she's been taking those sleeping pills." He's not exactly encouraging of me, nor I of him. He thinks I'm weak for taking the pills, and I think he's rude for marrying Stephanie only a month after my mom died. Also, he could have picked someone more age-appropriate.

I flip the eggs, keeping my eyes locked on the bubbling yolks. If I don't care, he can't hurt me. If I do as I'm told, he won't hurt me. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Grabbing plates from the cupboard, I slide the eggs off the pan and set them on the table. Cory gets his food first, being the youngest and least to blame here. And my father likes it when I'm nice to Cody.

"Good luck at your game today, little man!" I ruffle his hair and he smiles up at me. I swear, this kid is the only good thing to come out of this whole mess. "I wish I could be there, but I have to study for the SAT."

He pouts a little, but I move on, placing eggs in front of Stephanie and my father before I allow myself to sit and dig in.

My father snaps his fingers, and I put the fork down. "I thought we agreed you would support this family at all of Cody's games." He crosses his arms, and I melt into my chair. My mouth goes dry and I just stare at Cody, his sad little eyes watching me.

Stephanie comes to my rescue, putting her fork down too. "I'm sure Cody is alright with that, Doug." She smiles down at him. "Cody, Sabrina has a big test coming up and she needs to do good on it so she can go to college. Can she miss your game today?"

Cody frowns, shaking his head. "Doug said Sabrina wouldn't go to college and leave me. He said she's gonna work at the department store and look after me after high school." His little face lights up. "He says she's too dumb to go to college."

Mediocre, needs work.

I shouldn't be surprised, but my eyes start to burn. Too dumb. That's all I am, his dumb bio-daughter, only smart enough to babysit and ring up rich old ladies. I didn't get my father's intelligence, I got my mother's stupidity, just like he always says. And you don't send the stupid child to college.

"Cody," Stephanie gasps, her perfect face looking startled for the first time in a while, "you must have misheard him! Of course Sabrina is going to college!" Her knuckles go white as she grips the table, staring down my father. She's acting like he's going to laugh and say I'm going to college, that Cody is lying.

I don't look at him as he starts talking. "Well, he's not wrong. I told him times were tough and that Sabrina was going to help out the family. That's all. We just can't afford to put her through college."

Stephanie messes with her hair, flustered. "We said we would wait to tell her--"

"And I did. Now she knows. And she's fine with it, right, Sabrina?"

I nod, a pit opening in my stomach. 

Everyone else finishes eating and I'm left to clean up. The plates clink when I stack them in the sink, scalding water burning my hands as I scrub. Times are tough, he said, but he just bought a new set of golf clubs. Times are tough, but Cody plays for the most expensive team in the state. Times are only tough for me.

The world spun out of control the day my mother died. Nothing I do will ever bring that balance back. All I can do is fail. Fail my classes, fail the SAT, fail my mother. If she were here, she'd help me study, telling me stories about college as she explained a compound sentence. She'd tell me how much fun I would have.

I'd tell her about the pills and she'd hug me, tell me it's alright to not be alright. I wouldn't even need them if she were still here.

But she's not. She died. She left me here.

I can't do anything right. If I go to the game, I'll fail the SAT. If I don't go, my father will make my life miserable. If I don't take the pills, I stare at the ceiling for hours. If I take the pills, the Figure will rip me two shreds with his fingernails.

Maybe I can't win. Maybe all I can be is mediocre. But at least I'll be asleep.

The Figure isn't real. It can't hurt me. One pill, and I'll sleep straight through Cody's game. No one will be able to wake me up.

One pill, and my troubles will go away, if only until I wake up.

Silent, I walk down the hall to my bedroom, careful not to make too much noise. The pills sit on my dresser, the perfect escape in a perfect package. I shake one out and gulp it down.

Maybe this time I'll find the boy, and he'll tell me the secret to life. Maybe this time, I'll defeat the Figure. Or run away faster. Anything is better than here.

I think Dumbledore was wrong.

It does do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Despite the Figure, my dreams are better than living. 

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A/N: Back to back chapter updates! I'm really getting into Joshua and Sabrina's minds. These two chapters give some background on their lives, and I hope this explains a bit about Sabrina's 'mantra'. I added music again, so I hope you enjoyed a look at my music taste.

As always, please comment and let me know what you think! Thanks! :)

Word Count: 1,279

Cumulative Word Count: 4,441