*April 28, 2010*

I guess it all started with Hamlet.

Briana Taylor sent me an email. The Briana Taylor. The one I've wanted to strangle to death since Foundations of Journalism freshman year.

When I read her email, I was in Union Square collecting my wits against the force of bodies merging and diverging along the block. I hurried over to the sticker-covered windows of the Whole Foods market on 14th St. and pulled out my phone. I had no idea what to expect, but her email's contents were not at all what I would have guessed, not in a million years.

From: Briana Taylor
To: Katherine Miller
Subject: Goodies!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 10:37 AM

Do you have the topic for the final waaaay before everyone else? Oh you don't? I do! I do! And guess who's giving you the deets on it today? Don't do Ten Things I Hate About You. I'm doing it. You're welcome very much.

Choose a Shakespearean play, tragedy or comedy, and compose a comparative analysis with a mainstream film of the 20th Century. Include inaccuracies and probable causes. 15 pages, Times New Roman, 12 pt font, double-spaced, MLA standard.

xoxo, Briana

For all I knew, she could be lying. She was the type. I rolled my eyes as I hit reply.

From: Katherine Miller
To: Briana Taylor
Subject: Re: Goodies!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 10:41 AM

You're kidding. Why are you doing this for me?

Ummm... thank you?
-Katherine

Entering the Whole Foods, all of my tension melted as the sliding doors locked away the heat from the street. The air conditioning was supremely welcoming. I grabbed a cart and a bouquet of violet tulips. Suddenly, another buzz on my ass stopped me in my tracks.

From: Briana Taylor
To: Katherine Miller
Subject: Re: Goodies!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 11:05 AM

You just seem so lonely these days. And I haven't seen you come to class in that 'I just got laid' afterglow in weeks. I thought this would cheer you up.
-Briana

Typical. She had to stick it to me.

Now where was that tension? Oh there. Yep. Right in the pit of my stomach thanks to Miss Taylor. I stifled a curse. Nevertheless, I thanked her, wary of her sudden benevolence. Professor Porter was going to tell us what the assignment was by the end of the week, anyway. As my best friend Billy would say, I just needed a bit of patience.

In spite of my misgivings, ideas blossomed and solidified. I loved The Lion King growing up and knew there to be many similarities between it and Hamlet, minus the blood, gore, insanity, and multitudinous death, but plus cute sing-a-long songs.

We'd covered Hamlet earlier in the semester, and I got an A on that paper. It was about film adaptations, and I chose Mel Gibson's version. Briana Taylor would be in a puddle of loser tears when I was done. Always second best.

My ingredients list for Billy's dinner was in my backpack, so I pulled it out. The red A for the Cold War paper I had gotten back earlier today caught my eye, which made me chuckle. Billy would give me the same grade for this dinner for sure. He was coming here from Phoenicia for the first time, so I couldn't make his favorite dish, Billy's Friesapalooza, with just any kind of chicken, peppers, potatoes, spices and cheese. It had to be from Whole Foods.

Down in the fancy poultry section, I got a text from Briana.

*Cocksucking Whore:* Did u decide what ur doing? Not 10 Things I Hate About U right?
5:22PM

I tossed the package of chicken in the cart, pushing it forward. Like I would ever steal an idea from her. The Taming of The Shrew as a source was pretty obvious from that movie.

*Me:* No Im not doing that one. Im doing Hamlet.
5:25 PM

I silenced my phone and shoved it in the back pocket of my jeans. Muttering a few cuss words, I slammed my hand on the cart's handle. Then, I shut my eyes and took a breath. I couldn't lose it in front of all the shoppers. Then again, it took a lot to get a rise out of these city folk. Everyone up in that podunk town, Phoenicia, would balk at the slightest thing, especially these chicken prices. Eight dollars for chicken breast? Pshaw!

The jar of chopped black olives and bottle of ketchup I needed were in a nearby aisle. Even though I had enough at home, Billy would finish the entire bottle in one sitting. He had done it before.

I picked up the sack of potatoes and went over to the cheese section. He liked sharp cheddar cheese. Then, after a bit of hesitation, I got him a chocolate cake.

I mulled over the extent of my plans as I tapped the plastic bar of the cart. Leaning against the cool glass door for the twenty-four assortments of coconut milk ice cream, I shut my eyes for a moment. It was his first time in New York City, so we could have gone out for some sushi or pizza. He was the type of guy who'd want to just stuff his face and chill, though. My kind of guy... except not. My kind of guy friend, friend being the operative word.

I proceeded to the narrow up escalator, sure about this dinner. He would love it.

The twelve lines for the registers were so long, they snaked down to the artisan bread section. So, I pulled out my phone to pass the time. My lips pursed to the side, I pressed the side button, hoping for good news. The screen flashed with an envelope flying up with angel wings. A new text message.

*Cocksucking Whore:* Oh nihilism. Suits u.
5:27 PM

Hardy har. I didn't escape Phoenicia to be mocked by a two-faced snob like you.

I deleted that text with a huff. Shifting my weight from my left foot to my right, I began checking my emails.

From: Dana Thompson
To: Katherine Miller
Re: Submission for May 3rd edition- "A Rally for Right: Who Are the 99%?"
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 5:31 PM

No changes needed. Really good work, Katherine. This 99% thing may be catching on. I hear there may be a rally here in New York next week.

By the way, since I'm graduating this year and Sam's a shoddy Managing Editor, I'd like to discuss the Editor in Chief opening next year. Any interest? Let me know...
- Dana Thompson

Editor in Chief
Woodward Chronicle
Drexden University

My phone almost slipped to the tiled floor. I fumbled around with it and squeezed it firmly in my hands with a muffled squeal. If my insides were a character, they would be Aladdin's Genie bouncing around in his lamp.

From: Katherine Miller
To: Dana Thompson
Re: Submission for May 3rd edition- "A Rally for Right: Who Are the 99%?"
Wednesday, April 28, 2010 5:33 PM

Absolutely! Monday works!
-Katherine

Oooh, I couldn't wait to turn that paper around. There were only so many stories about the food I could stomach. I guess nepotism only got Sam so far.

I found an email from my dad next: online coupons for Home Depot. Great Dad. How grateful I am for your generosity. Let me count the ways.

Another classmate, Phoebe Marshall, sent an e-vite to an end-of-year party. No thanks! I didn't even know why she was in school. She never came to class, except for finals. What a way to waste your parents' hard-earned cash.

I deleted that email and read the next one from the Drexden newsletter. It included a list of live performances this weekend, both on and off campus. Luckily for me, The New School had a month-long production of Hamlet ending Sunday.

I clicked on the link and a picture of the lead popped up on the screen.

I moaned, eliciting a brief head turn from a tall slender blonde standing on the adjacent line. Her eyebrows rose and fell before her gaze once again settled on her preppy dark-haired beau beside her. I shook my head with a grin, my theory on apathetic New Yorkers reinforced yet again. Down at the screen, I feasted on the yumminess.

"Hamlet" had bright green eyes, freckles peppered across his wide forehead and the bridge of his nose, a sharp jaw, and a shock of thick red hair. He looked a bit loony, which added to my intrigue. Someone must've taken the picture when Hamlet messed around with Polonius, claiming he was a "fish-mongerer." It was funny.

The loony look was an unusual but welcome choice for an ad; rather than brooding sex appeal, they went for crazy. At the front of the line, I pondered on the whys behind that choice. Maybe they were after a truth in their art like I was in my writing. I spotted the address for The New School on my phone, which was a bus or train-ride away, and decided to go right after I was done shopping.

At the register, the total came to double what I had predicted. My cheeks grew hot as I hesitated before pulling out my debit card. There was possibly enough left in my checking account. My scholarship dollars would be stretched to the max despite saving up for Billy's trip.

Maybe.

I gulped and smiled at the rotund cashier with kind brown eyes as I swiped my card. I wiped my sweaty hands across the tops of my thighs, my breath caught in my throat.

Please please please please. For Billy.

He deserves it.

I'm gonna try this A/N thing after each of my chapters, hoping for feedback from everyone.

What do you think of Kat? 

Is Briana the bitchiest of them all?

And what about this mysterious "Hamlet"...

Comment, vote, and be merry!