I do not own Magnus Chase, Rick Riordan does, so the rights or whatever goes to him and schist.

Mercy: Hey!

Annabeth: Gods, no, we're back here?

Mercy: Long time no see, Annabae!

Leo: Annabae... *bursts out laughing*

Percy: Wow... Wow... Just, wow...

Piper: What are we reacting to now?

Mercy: Oh, right. Magnus Chase.

Annabeth: What

Mercy: He's a demigod too!

Annabeth: What

Percy: Wait...

Hazel: Who is Magnus?

Percy: Hold up, is he, like, Annabeth's son?

Annabeth: Uh, n-

Percy: YOU CHEATED ON ME? *sad face*

Annabeth: What?

Percy: WHICH GOD? It was Apollo, wasn't it?

Annabeth: No no! He's my cousin!

Everyone: *sigh of relief*

Mercy: Um, yeah... Anyway, he's a demigod.

Annabeth: He is?

Mercy: Yeah, Son of Frey

Frank: What the heck is that?

Mercy: A Norse god.

Percy: There are Norse gods too?

Mercy: Yup!

Hazel: Please continue before everyone gets even more confused.

Mercy: Um, right. Well, I have a book about him and stuff so I'm going to read you all a bit. Not much though, maybe half of the first chapter or something.

Percy: Why not all of it?

Mercy: Spoilers.

Leo: Alright, River, get on with it.

Mercy: Did you...

Leo: Wait... Are you a Whovian?

Mercy: YES

Leo: OHMYGODS WE CAN FANGIRL ABOUT DW TOGETHERRR

Mercy: I think I've found my soulmate...

Piper: Gods, please continue before I throw up.

Mercy: Right. Um, anyway, yeah.

Percy: Wait, Annabeth has a cousin in Boston?

Mercy: She's told you before...

Annabeth: How do you know that?

Mercy: Well...

Annabeth: Y'know what? Never mind.

Piper: Good choice, Annabae

Annabeth: *glaring*

Luke: Hey, Annabae-

Percy: NO

Luke: *raises hands*

Thalia: GET ON WITH IT

Mercy: Okay! Okay! I'll read it!

Mercy: *clears throat*

The Bold italic words are Rick Riordan's, mine are normal.

"Magnus Chase and the Gods of Ashard. Chapter 1. Good Morning! You're Going to Die."

Annabeth: Wonderful

"Yeah, I know. You guys are going to read about how I died in agony, and you're going to be like, "Wow! That sounds cool, Magnus! Can I die in agony too?"

Leo: Does sassiness run in the family or....?

Annabeth: Shut up

"No. Just no.
Don't go jumping off any rooftops. Don't run into the highway or set yourself on fire. It doesn't work that way. You will not end up where I ended up."

Percy: What

"Besides, you wouldn't want to deal with my situation."

Everyone: *complete and utter silence*

Percy: Well, it's too late for that.

"Unless you've got the crazy desire to see undead warriors hacking one another to pieces,"

Nico: ...

"swords flying up giants' noses,"

Everyone: ...

"and dark elves in snappy outfits, you shouldn't even think about finding the wolf-headed doors."

Percy and Jason: *shivers* Wolves...

"My name is Magnus Chase. I'm sixteen years old. This is the story of how my life went downhill after I got myself killed."

Annabeth: Well, that doesn't make any sense.

Magnus: *from behind her* I know, cuz. I know.

Annabeth: WHAT THE F-

Magnus: Whoops! Um, sorry. Did I not mention I was here the entire time?

Percy: Who are you?

Magnus: Magnus. Annabeth's coolest cousin ever- *gets elbowed in the stomach by Annabeth*

Annabeth: You're my only cousin, you nitwit.

Piper: You have an accent.

Magnus: What? Oh. Yeah. Boston.

Percy: I imagined you to be taller...

Magnus: Who the frickity frack are you?

Annabeth: Uh, that doesn't matter.

Everyone else: *knowing looks*

Percy: I'm Percy Jackson.

Magnus: ... Am I supposed to know you, or.....?

Percy: .... Kind of.

Annabeth: This is a conversation for another time, guys!

Leo: HES HER BOYFRIEND! HER LOVER! HER NOVIO! THEY DO THE MAKING OUT AND STUFF

Magnus: What

Annabeth: leO VALDEZ

Percy: Yeah, pretty much.

Magnus: Okay, 1) Percy and I are going to have a little talk later,

Annabeth: *facepalm*

Magnus: 2) Why didn't you tell me?

Annabeth: I haven't seen you in years?

Magnus: Uh, yeah you have. We just ate falafel and talked about the gods, like, a day ago.

Annabeth: No?

Mercy: INTERFERING TIMELINES, SORRY! Magnus, she hasn't seen you in years. This is before you died.

Magnus: OH!

Mercy: Yeah

Piper: Anyway, nice to meet you Magnus!

Jason: Yeah, let's get on with the story.

"My day started out normal enough. I was sleeping on the side-walk under a bridge in the Public Garden when a guy kicked me awake and said, "They're after you."
By the way, I've been homeless for the past two years."

Everyone: *Shock*

"Some of you may think Aw, how sad. Others may think, Ha, ha, loser! But if you saw me on the street, ninety-nine percent of you would walk right past like I'm invisible. You'd pray, Don't let him ask me for money. You'd wonder if I'm older than I look, because surely a teenager wouldn't be wrapped in a stinky old sleeping bag, stuck outside in the middle of a Boston winter. Somebody should help that poor boy!
Then you'd keep walking.

Annabeth: I didn't know you were homeless?

Magnus: Yeah, well, you do now!

Percy: But what about your mom?

Everyone: ....

Percy: What?

Mercy: You know what? How about we take a little break from this, before Percy insults anyone else.

Percy: I didn't insult anyone, I just asked a question!

Annabeth: Just... Just shut up.

Percy: *pout*

Mercy: See you next time!