pre dating Peraltiago

Her chest felt tight, as though she wasn't getting enough oxygen to her lungs, like she couldn't breathe.

She couldn't breathe.

Her sight was blurred for tears but she could make out stacks of boxes, papers and drawers all around the room. They were closing in.

Amy felt herself sink to the floor, her legs curling up as her back pushed against the wall as though she could push through to the next room and out of here.

The walls are closing in and she can't breathe.

She hiccuped in a breath, trying to calm herself down. In; one two three four five— she coughed and chocked back a sob.

Someone opened the door and Amy retreated behind a larger stack of paperwork, but whoever it was hadn't come in.

Another set of footsteps, this time they came in, they felt close. Amy curled up, trying not to focus on their eyes burning into the top of her head. Her chest tightened, she couldn't breathe.

"Ames?" God, no, not him, not now. She was a mess, he shouldn't have to deal with her right now, not again. This would be the 5th time he's had to deal with her in this state this month. She curled up even tighter.

"Amy? Hey," he moved to kneel beside her, a hand on her knee. "5 things you can see, go."

She took a breath, making an effort to focus on five things. There was a warmth in the pit of her stomach: she wasn't sure whether that was just her anxiety or because he'd remembered what techniques calmed her down. Amy blinked the tears out of her eyes.

"Boxes, drawers, papers..." in the spaces between her words, he muttered nonsensical phrases, encouragement and comfort. His hand never moved from her knee. "The door..." she looked around, stuck. "You."

She focused on his face, watching the way his smile pulled at the corner of his mouth like he was fighting it. The way his eye creased on one side until the smile was everywhere, yet it was still one-sided.

"4 things you can hear." Amy shook her head, the anxiety taking over again.
"I can't, I can't hear anything."
"Amy, shhh, stop listening to your head, I need 4 things we can both hear."

She closed her eyes, trying to slow her breathing. "I can hear... the printer, Scully?" Amy took several desperate breaths and by the time she caught her breath, Jake was beside her, arm around her with his hand rubbing circles onto her shoulder.

"Come on, Ames, 2 more."

"My heartbeat? Is that cheating?" She smiled as Jake chuckled beside her, repositioning himself yet again. "And you, shuffling. You're not very stealthy, you know."

Jake apologised, taking her hand gently and pulling it away from where she was twirling hair nervously around her finger.

"3 things you feel."

"It's just you." She laughed. "Your hand in my shoulder, your hand on my hand and your hair on my neck, it tickles." Jake only pressed his face further into her neck.

"2 things you smell." He requested.

Amy hesitated before replying. "Paper and gummy bears." He smiled against her skin.

"1 thing you taste." Amy shrugged, relaxing into whatever space he had for her against his chest.

"I can't taste anything, I haven't eaten for a while so it's just... awkward breath taste."

He outright laughed. And then so was she. There was no pain in her chest, no nagging voice in her head. Just her and him, laughing.

Jake's arms wrapped securely around her and Amy turned to curl against his chest, her legs over his, arms around his neck.

"Thank you." She didn't have to speak loudly, her lips were against his cheek.

"It's not a problem. You wanna talk about it?"

"My mom, she's ill. I've got seven brothers, four in-laws, one worried father and three of the eight nieces and nephews that have phones hassling me, asking how she is. And I don't know. I'm visiting as much as I can but I-"

Amy felt Jake's lips in her hair, against her cheek. She relaxed.

"Mom's gonna be fine, there's nothing fatal, she's just on bedrest, it's a hereditary thing, moms got it, Raf's got it, Tony's got it, the rest of us haven't come across it but... you never know." Jake's hand ran tracks up and down her arm.

"I'm just nervous. And so's everyone else, but these past few weeks, everything just seems, extreme? I don't know, I'm just on edge. And Gina said something about my outfit and then the whole day's just been fighting down stuff like this until I can't do it anymore."

Jake only pulled her in closer, talking hesitantly. "I know you want to be.. because I know you. But you don't need to be in control all the time. You've got so many holiday days, you can afford to take a day off, have a lie in and look after yourself. And if you ever need me, I'm right here. Always."

"Always have been. Always will be." She finished for him, her head now resting on his shoulder.

"I owe you like a million."

"You don't owe me a thing.."