not with want, holidays are expected

coming in with hot, putrid breath

and half-hearted hugs

it reminds me of sloppy kisses

and stale tears

for now we wait

and wait, sweaty palms on knobby knees

for it to knock

for it to lean on the doorway,

languish in slouch, bony hip sticking out

the stare will linger

pushing deep into the retinas of my eyes

until I have relinquished over all my thoughts

of sadness--always sadness.

and then holiday pounces

has its way

painstakingly has its way

with flat, nimble fingers

insertions with no real rewards

as it turns me over and over, like a playing card

focusing on your rarity holiday, 

only forthcoming in tepid doses.

we get it holiday

full of special substance and special guts

that it is required for you to be seen

for you to flaunt your magnitude

of the special life you carry. 

holiday is nothing but a word, I say

there is a lash-out.

strong, stressed words,

pour out, as the playing card rips in half

Unique Holiday still holds heavily the idea in its head,

over my head

yes, yes, we will see you 

next time.