The cut-eye that Fay gave the vampire who had moments before made it clear that he wanted to use her neck as a chew toy was a bitter one. One swish of her spoon and he would be nothing more than a couple of coughed-up hairballs by morning. She knew it, he knew it, and the cats knew it. But now what?

The tension between her and the motionless vampire was strong but not strong enough to set off any more internal red flags. Her borders had been breached by her own folly and the powerful wards that she had placed on her property were now too lax to be of much use in this situation. Either Fay was going to have to throw both vampires out and figure out a way to make it permanent or she was going to have to come to some sort of agreement.

Two vampires against one witch wasn't an odd she wanted to deal with right then. Even with a small army of cats at her command. That left her with one possible course of action. A truce.

With a calculating look Fay shifted her stance and took the spoon from the unnamed figure before she swung it through the air. At her signal the tension in the room began to eased by degrees as the cats slowly melted away into the darkness of the house's interior. A few stayed behind just in case, along with Fat Cat and the ever vigilant Figaro.

"Don't even think about it." Fay warned both vampires for good measure.

"The thought never crossed my mind." The blonde vampire said. "Apologies for the window."

"Yeah, well you're paying for it."

Hearing this, the vampire smiled.

"I'm David and that idiot there goes by Dwayne."

David held out a gloved hand to her.

"Fay Prima and I can't say it's a pleasure."

Fay eyed him carefully but did not return the gesture. Her arms remained firmly locked protectively across her chest.

"Wait. You're not going to kill her?"

"No I am not going to kill her."

Dwayne was surprised to the hilt when David had called him out by his actual name in front of her. That was something that just wasn't done. Not unless one of them was planning on draining her because there was a strict rule about leaving no witnesses.

The three of them just stood there awkwardly for a moment at which point Fay tucked away her spoon into a large pocket of her robe and sighed in resignation.

"Might as well sit down." She muttered as she picked up Fat Cat and sat cautiously on the arm of what was left of her couch. David chose the loveseat and made himself comfortable. Only Dwayne remained standing. His eyebrows were locked in concern and the dark look look on his face gave him the appearance of a brooding thunderhead. No self-respecting vampire barged into someone's house, introduce themselves, and then sat down to have a pleasant chat.

"So can I ask why my front window is broken? You two owe me that much." Fay asked as she wrapped her arms protectively around Fat Cat.

"Territorial dispute. I was in the middle of giving this upstart a lesson in leadership." David mused as he watched the other vampire bristle at his words.

"One that you were losing."

"On the contrary, I think it was the other way around."

"You need to get your memory checked. I clearly had the upper hand and you know it."

"You want to back up that claim?"

"You know I can."

"Prove it then."

"I'd be happy to."

Ugh, men.

As interesting as it would be to watch the two vampires growl and posture over who should rule the Santa Carla roost Fay quickly became annoyed. Neither one explained why they had been fighting it out on her front lawn of all places in the first place. She was no expert on vampire politics but it appeared that David felt threatened for the first time in years by Dwayne's arrival and this spat between them was over more than just a tiff over turf.

Fay tried to get a word in edgewise but her voice was drowned out when the word parrying was replaced with bared fangs and ugly snarls.

"Whoa! Calm down!" Fay shouted as she dumped Fat Cat and planted herself between David and Dwayne just as the two aimed to butt heads once more.

"I said COOL IT!"

Fay threw her arms out and slammed the palms of her hands into their chests as hard as she could. A crackle of charged ozone sent both vampires careening into the walls hissing out in pain.

"No fighting in this house. This is my home! If you got beef with each other you take it outside." Fay went from cat-lady to platoon commander in a split second. When vampires were involved there was only one way to diffuse a heated situation and that was with a show of some serious force.

"What was that?" Dwayne winced as he massaged his chest.

His lack of a shirt resulted in him sporting yet another unsightly token of Fay's temperamental non-affection. This one turned out to be the worst of the lot. At the rate he was going at he would end up with more black marks on his skin than a leopard if he wasn't careful.

"She's a witch you moron. She has powers." David coughed as he straightened out his coat in an attempt to regain his composer.

"Witches don't exist."

It was Dwayne's turn to scoff. He did not believe a word of it. Witches? Really? Where was the broomstick and the magic wand?

"Oh really? And vampires are just the stuff of Hollywood? Welcome to the big wide world of the supernatural. I hope you know that you guys are not the only ones who can do things right? I mean, I may not be able to fly like you do but I can certainly make myself scarce if I have to."

"And you knew." Dwayne glared at David.

"Yes I did. Santa Carla is a magnet for the supernatural scene on the west coast. We just have never had the chance to be formally introduced." He nodded to Fay.

"You can say that again."

The old fashioned Felix the Cat clock on the kitchen wall began to chime. It was four o'clock in the morning.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why aren't you afraid of us? You are way too calm about all of this. It doesn't make any sense."

This had to be the first time that Dwayne had been around a human who had seen what he was and did not run off screaming blue murder or try to shoot him. Being beaten with a piece of wood was understandable though. Wooden stake, wooden spoon, same thing.

How often did the undead knock on her door?

Fay took in a deep breath and massaged the corner of her eyes. How was she going to answer him? It was too late to get into the logistics of it all and the vampire had destroyed her living room. Why should she tell him anything?

Fine. She would take the high road and be the adult in the room. Just this once.

"Let me just start out by saying I owe you nothing and I should not even be telling you this. Vampires aren't the only ones with rules okay? Yeah, I'm not scared of you. Either of you. Why? Because I'm used to this sort of thing. And not just vampires. Zombies, werewolves, mummies, ghouls, succubi, incubi, three-headed dogs, killer rabbits...I've just about seen it all. How? I'm a Prima. That means my family and I are, you could say, different. I'm a witch Dwayne. And not the candle and bell kind. I have an aunt over in Louisiana who can raise the dead."

"Raise the dead? Really?"

Dwayne arched an eyebrow in interest. Fay nodded.

"Necromancer."

"Really?"

"Yep. Believe me when I say that she is terrifying beyond all reason."

"Hmmmm."

"So a pair of fangs isn't going to bother me. You two are not the only ones with teeth and a false face."

That last bit perked David's interest.

"Anyways it's late. I know that you two keep odd hours but I'm dead tired and you need to leave now. I would do the whole coffee/cookie thing but since you don't deserve it you don't get it. And I have to work in the morning. So whatever macho vampire issues you two have to figure out go do that. And just so you know there is no sense in trying to kill each other because it won't do either of you any good. Don't ask me how I know, I just do."

Fay motioned to the broken window with a tired wave of her hand.

"The next time you get the urge to lock horns, do it someplace else okay? I have neighbours. They talk. I'm going to have a hard enough time as it is trying to figure out how to explain why I suddenly had the urge to remodel this place in the middle of the night."

There were more questions that Dwayne wanted to ask but now was not the time. He allowed Fay to herd him toward the window while he a careful distance between them. Nothing about the house or dealing with Fay made any sense. He had every intention of finishing what he started with David but now the idea of offing the cat lady was no longer appealing. This was going to require some serious mulling over when he had the time.

"Bye."

Fay actually shooed him out of her home.

Dwayne gave Fay one last guarded look before he slipped out the window and took off into the night. David turned to say something but Fay just waved him off.

"You won't have to worry about waking up with a stake between your ribs any time soon. I have no intention of coming anywhere near you. You stick to stalking your side of town and I'll stay put in mine and we'll just forget that this even happened. Okay?"

David studied her before he nodded in agreement.

"Okay."

"And if I ever catch you anywhere near my place again I will introduce you to the big spoon. I promise you David, you do not want to see what kind of damage that thing can do."

David laughed but Fay was dead serious.

"My grandmother once took out a pack of vampires with it and then used it next day to make a cake with their ashes. She fed it to some dogs just to make sure they would never have the chance to come back."

That got David's undivided attention.

"I don't think they would have seen that one coming."

"No one ever does. Goodbye David."

David took that as his cue and vaulted out of the window.

Fay stayed put as she listened carefully for the tell-tale sound of rushing air. She wasn't disappointed. Satisfied that the neighbourhood belonged to her again she reached into her pocket and pulled out her spoon. Poor thing. The wooden head was just about burnt though and top part of the handle had turned black from where it had touched Dwayne's skin. It was ruined but it had done its job and done it well.

Mer?

Fay looked down at her feet as Figaro wrapped himself around her leg for comfort. His green eyes were filled with questions.

"Looks like we're going shopping tomorrow."

The silver striped house cat purred in agreement.