Chapter 2 - Setup
By the time the next day rolls around, Jason still doesn't know Dick has asked Sam to help out. He thinks it's just him which does have him wondering why Dick didn't ask Sam. It seems a bit odd given her whole friendship with Tim anyway but he chalks it up to maybe Sam being busy. Molly mentioned Sam was working on a case that kept her pretty busy. Maybe she's just been preoccupied with that to actually help. Jason isn't sure and he isn't entirely sure why it matters. It doesn't. It shouldn't.
Jason gets ready to go find Tim. Dick sent him the time Tim should be arriving in Gotham with the specific instructions Dick gave Tim. Jason thinks about how if only Tim knew how lucky he was that Jason is going to be there. Tim has almost no training at all and Dick has basically thrown him to the wolves, or so Tim will think. And Jason can't help but even feel a little excited over this whole thing. The last time he saw Tim, he was lying on the ground dying. Because of him. This is how he can start to repay Tim for the damage he caused him and his family. It is the least he could possibly do. Tim might not like him after, but he will be prepared and he will be a good Robin. Jason will make sure of it.
Jason heads out to find Tim, daunting his Red Hood gear and helmet. The drive isn't too far from his safe house but it is raining tonight, on and off. Yesterday was nice, warm and no rain. It's a bit of a depressing contrast between the two days. The street lights reflect off the wet pavement and Jason isn't entirely sure what he's going to do when he gets there. All he knows is Tim will probably need help and he'll just take it from there. It's not exactly how he wants to approach any situation but he's not sure what Tim will even be doing.
Jason pulls up to a building across the street from an alley where some, surely, illegal deal of sorts is going down. Apparently, Tim is supposed to be here eventually so Jason parks the bike in the dark of his alley before he uses a grappling hook to get to the roof of the building just so he can see better. And then he waits.
Meanwhile, Sam has made her place on the roof overlooking the alley with the van, knowing this is where Tim will be. And she can't help but feel excited to see him. She misses him a lot even if it is a little hard to be happy it's under the circumstances of Robin. There's also the bit of dread and excitement over seeing Jason, working with Jason.
Seeing him means there's going to have to be some sort of conversation over the two of them being unable to pick up a phone and call each other. There's going to be some sort of conversation about everything that happened. It's going to bring back all of the pain all over again. Will they even be able to pick up where they left off? Or will they fall into an awkward dance where they both just fumble over each other until Tim leaves? Or will it be worse? But, seeing him, being around him, always felt the most like home and Sam really hopes he's okay and happy. She's excited just to see how he's doing.
Sam is laying on her stomach to take cover while she watches over the ledge but her fingers tap wildly against the pavement at the thought. It's the hope this goes okay, that he doesn't hate her. That Tim is happy to see them both. That Tim doesn't get killed in the first five minutes of being Robin. Excitement, dread, and anxiety flood her system. Why did she agree to this?
Commotion starts from below her and she sees Tim on the top of a car while the goons are loading their van. Even in the low light, Sam can tell the suit is a little different than Jason's and Dick's. The cape definitely is with its jagged edges and it's longer. It fits him actually. Sam stands on the edge of the roof, grappling hook in hand and knife in the other, ready to slide down the second things get out of hand.
Tim handles himself okay at first but then they outnumber him and they're faster than he is and better. Sam knows Tim has had a few training sessions but by the looks of it, they could not have been very long or helpful. Things start looking pretty bad for him so Sam uses the grappling hook to lower herself down but before her feet even hit solid ground, shots ring through the alley, taking out one of the men and then the other. Just as her feet hit the ground, Sam nails the last one with a knife, turning to face down the alley with her arms crossed. And there he is, walking confidently with a gun in hand.
Of course, he beat her to it.
Jason's eyes widen behind his helmet. He did not expect to see Sam tonight. Kind of like last night, seeing her throws him off. It's a bit jarring somehow. Gotham might be a big city but they travel in the same circles, it was bound to happen. Just...two nights in a row seems...odd.
"I had that covered." Sam states through her mask.
Jason can taste his heartbeat in his throat as he keeps closing the distance between them. Her mask always muffled her voice a little but it's still his favorite sound. He can feel his cheeks burning and a smile desperate to cross his lips. Jason bites it back, trying to keep his composure.
"Where the fuck did you even come from?" Jason quips back.
He is eternally grateful for the helmet. Sam was always best at reading him. She could read every expression that ever washed over his face no matter how subtle it was. It was as if they could read each other's minds half the time and he is so glad she can't see him. His eyes are scanning her over, noticing nothing too new in the suit. It still fits her just as it always did, perfectly fitted in the all right places. His eyes go back up to her face, the hood is pulled onto her head but her hair is pulled back in a ponytail. He catches the yellowing around one of her eyes and he almost asks what happened before he swallows it down. It's not entirely his place to ask at the moment but he thinks she's still just as beautiful today as she was the first time he saw her and the last time he saw her.
Sam points to the roof. "Clearly. And you?" She questions, keeping her voice flat and curious, trying to conceal her own nerves.
Jason points a thumb over his shoulder. "Clearly." He echoes as he stands next to her.
It all clicks then, this was definitely a setup by Dick. Of all fucking people, Dick Grayson is doing this shit? Jason swears up and down this is getting ridiculous. Bruce, Molly, Gar, Dick? They are all trying to get them to communicate and...maybe they have a point even if Jason never wants to admit it. Not when two of those people are Bruce and Dick. But, he can't focus on that or how this is sending his head into a tailspin.
He needs to help Tim which means he can't let his feelings for Sam get in the way even if ignoring them is one of the hardest things he's ever done. He has to act normal and like being next to her doesn't make him want to explode. He needs to keep his cool, keep the smile from ripping apart his lips because even if this is a setup and he should be mad, he misses her so fucking much it physically pains him. He can't find himself to be mad because Sam will never abandon Tim so even if she doesn't speak to Jason while she helps him, at least he gets to see her as Sam. Like old times even if it doesn't last and for that, Jason is happy.
Jason reaches behind his head, releasing the helmet before he takes it off and Sam swears she swallowed her heart. He looks so good. "Who the fuck are you supposed to be?" Jason calls, eyes locked on Tim and Sam thinks she's melted at the sound of his voice.
His voice is somehow better than she remembers it. A little calloused, a little rough, but not too deep. It always fit him so well and Sam has never been so thankful to have a mask that covers the lower half of her mouth because her lips are curling into the most uncontrollable smile. Every piece of reservation she had about seeing him completely flies out of the window.
Jason Todd has always had his type of gravitation pull like a planet lost in the universe and Sam has just been sucked right back into it.
She misses him so fucking much.
Tim looks down to his chest, right at the R symbol before he looks back to Jason. "I'm Robin." Tim states as if Jason should have known.
The subtle hint of a smile comes over Jason's lips seeing someone else in the Robin suit. It's weird because it almost feels...hurtful. It hurts a little seeing someone else in a position where he was, not in a jealous way but in a way that he is reminded that was him. He was Robin and he fucked up and now he's not. It hurts in the way he's reminded of it being ripped away from his bloody hands. The suit is different, Jason clocks almost every difference in the first few seconds but it is similar. Jason was beaten to death in something similar with the same mantle. There's almost this part of him that even worries about it. Robin didn't work for Dick. He didn't die as Robin but it didn't work for him. Jason was killed. Where's that going to leave Tim?
On the other hand though, there is something about someone else taking up Robin that feels good. Jason died but Robin didn't. Robin never had to die with Jason and he shouldn't. The people need a Robin and he doesn't really know Tim but Sam does and Gar does. He trusts the both of them and Tim looks thrilled to be here. It's a mix but there is something kind of nice seeing the resurrection of Robin.
"Hey." Sam chimes as she walks closer to him.
Tim's smile splits his face. "Hey, how'd you know I'd be here?"
"Molly tracked you the second a Robin showed up. Knew it was you." Sam laughs softly before she pulls him into a gentle hug. "You should have told me." Sam says as she pulls away, her hands coming to his shoulders as she looks over the suit, noticing all the difference between this one and Jason's.
"Yeah, I thought I could handle this." Tim chuckles sheepishly, realizing he was a little in over his head tonight but not lacking in any of his confidence to do this job.
"Clearly, you were wrong." Jason closes the distance between them. "You're lucky we showed up when we did." Jason stands right beside Sam as she drops her hands from his shoulders, maybe her looking over the suit makes Jason want to chew his tongue out of his mouth.
"Yeah, I got that." Tim nods his head. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." The smile reaches her eyes as Sam beams back at Tim.
Jason's eyes narrow at her slightly. Sam seems awfully happy. He knows Tim is her friend but she just seems overly happy or maybe he's in his own head about it. He just remembers that day picking her up from Titans Tower and it was...similar. It's like he's getting stabbed in the chest and the base of his throat knowing Sam was not happy to see him tonight. The very thought of her feelings disappearing makes him feel like his rib cage might collapse on itself. So, he pushes it away as far as he possibly can and bites back his own words, trying to just be relieved she looks happy instead of pissed off Dick set them up. He's just thankful she hasn't run away. Yet.
"What're you doing here anyways?" Jason asks with the nod of his head at Tim.
"Dick sent me." Tim starts before explaining this whole fake plan thing Dick sent him on while Sam and Jason pretend to act as if they have no clue what he's talking about.
Jason nods his head. "Well, it's getting pretty late. I got a place. Come on." Jason jerks his head down the alley before he starts walking, not even waiting for a response.
"Wait, really?" Tim asks with hope.
"Before I change my mind." Jason states, his back fully towards them before he puts the helmet on.
Tim's eyes are wide with excitement. He gets to work the Red Hood?! He knows it's Jason but he was the second Robin and he doesn't even know much about him. Gar and Sam talk about him and he met him a few times but this is totally different. Red Hood is going to help him with this?
"You can ride me with. I've got an extra helmet. I figured you'd need a ride." Sam puts a hand on his shoulder before nodding towards Jason. "My bike's not far."
The three of them make their way to Jason's bike that's closer and then to Sam's before Sam and Tim follow Jason to his safe house. It's the one Sam took him when Crane kidnapped him. Sam stares up at the building for a few seconds, feeling something a bit bitter in the back of her throat over it. Jason can move on, she hopes with everything in her that he is, but as someone who cares about him, it's her job to be bitter and pissed about everything Crane did to him forever.
Tim and Sam follow Jason into the building, now the three of them in their street clothes after taking a detour to change. Sam has almost had her eyes practically glued to Jason ever since. And it's taking everything in Jason to focus on the task at hand and not stare at Sam with a million questions.
The hallway is messy. There's stuff on the floor everywhere and even though Jason is walking ahead of them, Sam can't help but narrow her eyes at him. Surely, he has time to pick up the floor instead of kicking things to the side as he walks by. Jason is always so meticulous with things he likes but he just can't help the mess in a hallway or his room for some reason.
"Venta?" Jason asks, keeping his steady pace ahead of Sam and Tim.
"Yeah." Tim starts. "He lives down on Harbor."
"Never heard of 'em." Jason states, walking through the hallway where he has a laptop set up before he starts typing away at something.
"Dick says he's got information on the Organization." Tim explains as he stands beside Jason, resting his arm on the open counter space.
"He sent you to get intel on the Organization?" Sam asks.
"Yeah." Tim says casually, but almost like he wants to be offended Sam would question it but then he looks between Sam and Jason. "Maybe we could team on this." Tim suggests. "The three of us."
Jason looks to him, struggling not to glance at Sam before he turns around and starts walking way swiftly. "I don't team anymore." Jason says as the laptop makes a noise, Sam peaking over at it as Tim trails after Jason.
Security system, and a nice one, too. It looks at least similar to the one used at Wayne Manor and in the Batcave. There seems to be some sort of cloaking system to shield his location from anyone who might be looking for him. Sam has heard he's made several big-name enemies in Gotham already which is not surprising. Gotham's newest crime lord is going to take some heat. Of course, he's protecting himself. Sam is actually relieved by the system. Maybe the security system lets Jason get some sort of sleep.
"Security activated." The computer sounds through the speakers above them.
"You don't understand." Tim defends while Sam moves to catch up with them. "Brother Blood put my boyfriend in a coma." Tim watches as Jason climbs the stairs before he quickly follows suit, Sam right behind him.
Jason knows he has to play this off, even if Tim is going to nag him all night. If Jason immediately jumps to help him, Tim won't learn a damn thing and he'll probably figure it out. Jason has heard all about Tim's intelligence and detective skills. If Tim is going to be Robin, Jason's not going to make it easy.
"How long you been doing this Robin thing?" Jason asks.
"Um..." Tim stutters as him and Sam enters one of the rooms with Jason, Jason still several feet ahead of them. There's workout equipment, monitors, a fridge. It looks like this is where he trains and keeps his eyes on Gotham. "Not long." Tim says.
"A couple weeks?" Jason asks as he looks over his monitors on the far end of the room.
"Not quite." Tim states, looking around the room.
"A week?" Jason asks.
"Last night was my first night." Tim admits, almost sounding defeated.
Sam nearly cackles. "Sorry, what?" She spits back as Jason turns around. Dick did not say Tim had no training. The two of them exchange a look of surprise and confusion. Dick did not say Tim had no training.
"Yeah..." Tim looks between Sam and Jason, unsure where they're going to take this conversation. He hopes it'll get them on his side. He could use the help.
"Oh, the suit did look fresh off the rack." Jason states. This is going to take a lot of time and effort. "If I were you, I'd get out of Gotham. Take some reps in like Tucson or some shit." Jason states as he leans his lower back against the table with the monitors, his hands holding the edge of the table.
"Shit's been quite a bit messy lately and the Bat's outa town." Sam explains as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"Dick sent me here to find Venta." Tim nearly cuts them both off.
"Your funeral." Jason shakes his head. "You can crash here if you don't have plans." Jason gestures a hand out, offering his place for Tim. "I mean, there's eggs, beer, cheese." Jason gestures quickly to the fridge sitting on the wall facing Jason on the opposite side of the room.
"That is a lovely diet, Jason." Sam mutters back, earning her a bit of a glare from Jason.
It's not exactly like Jason to not have some sort of variety. Generally, he eats pretty healthy in order to maintain the muscle and physical fitness to do this whole thing but eggs and cheese aren't exactly the healthiest thing, especially with the addition of beer. Sam knows he's been busy with Red Hood, helping Barbara. But, she wonders if this is one of those things Molly and Gar are worried about. She makes a mental note of it to ask later.
"Been busy." Jason quips back, almost gauging how she'll respond.
"I can see that." Her eyes widen as her hands gesture around.
"Thanks." Tim interrupts them, unsure if this will be an argument or some weird banter thing they do. Tim sets the case with the suit against the wall and that's when he sees a clear board with a cipher on it that looks like Jason's been trying to crack. "You working on something?" Tim gestures towards it as he starts walking towards it.
"No. I'm paying the fucking cable bills." Jason quips back.
"Need some help?" Tim asks, his hands in his pockets as he looks over the cipher.
"Since you're being nosy," Jason starts before he walks over to Tim, Sam joining on the opposite side. "Shimmer's been pulling off high-end heists all over Gotham." Jason explains. "Sending ciphers as clues."
Tim looks over the cipher a bit more and he's got it. He reaches over for the eraser next to the board and starts erasing some of the code Jason has cracked.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jason questions.
"You got your A right but your coding's off." Tim explains making Sam stifle a laugh.
"Fuck you." Jason defends as he watches Tim.
"It's a Fibonacci Sequence." Tim states. "Each number is the sum of two numbers that precedes it." Tim explains. Jason and Sam take a step back to watch Tim work. "K-L-E-I-D-S-C-O-P-E." Tim spells it out, writing each letter. Tim takes a step back, a proud smile on his face while the three of them look over the word.
"Kaleidoscope." Jason states. "Oh, shit." Jason starts, rushing over to this phone sitting not the table beside the board.
"I just had fresh eyes." Tim states, still looking at the board.
"Right, nothing to do with being a genius or anything." Sam quips back.
"Hey, Babs." Jason says with the phone now pressed to his ear. "Uh, Kaleidoscope Auction House. That's the target for Shimmer's next hit." Jason explains before he pauses, looking back at Tim for just a second. "And I'll take my usual percentage." Jason says before he hangs up the phone. "So, you are really smart." Jason states.
"Told you." Sam mutters.
"It's nothing, really." Tim brushes it off.
"Right." Jason nods his head. "So, what's your plan anyways? Stick around Gotham until you find this guy?" Jason asks before he walks over to the fridge, Sam pulls up a seat by the monitors.
"Uh, yeah, I guess." Tim shrugs. "I asked around tonight but no one seems to know what I'm talking about."
Jason nods his head, beer now in hand before he opens it. "Want one?" Jason asks. "Water, Gatorade?" Jason offers before his eyes go back to Sam. "I have other shit."
Sam rolls her eyes, pathetically putting her hands up in defense, keeping her mouth shut this time. For once, she can't quite tell if their subtle jabs are actual jabs or if it's what they usually do. At this point, she's too afraid to ask because either answer sounds a bit too much.
"No, thanks." Tim states.
Jason pulls a blue Gatorade from the fridge before crossing the room and offering it to Sam. It wasn't even a thought Jason had because Sam has always been someone who will not accept an offer of a drink and then drink his. It was more of a reflex to grab the Gatorade for her. A gentle smile pulls at her lips as she takes it softly from him, careful not to let her hand brush his.
"Asking the wrong people probably." Jason answers as he leans against the table in the space right beside Sam. "Or they don't you seriously." Jason uncaps his beer with the remark.
"Second one." Sam states as she uncaps her bottle.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tim looks back at them.
"You got your ass kicked tonight." Sam states. "I got a feeling you aren't very good at being intimidating." Sam shrugs her shoulders casually before she takes a drink.
"Hey," Tim gestures toward her. "I figured out all of you guys and got you to cave about it. I'm pretty good, I think."
"You're my friend and I felt bad for lying." Sam chortles before she takes a sip. "I was at no point ever intimated by you."
"If she didn't want you to know, she never would have led you to believe otherwise." Jason takes his own drink knowing damn well Sam could have, at the very least, hid her own identity from Tim if she really wanted to.
"Still, one of them would have told me! I'm Robin." Tim tries to defend himself, his voice almost defensive until it finally hits enthusiastic with the mention of 'Robin'.
The way he says it makes Sam burst out laughing. The amount of times Sam has heard the words 'I'm Robin' with so much pride and enthusiasm makes it funny. It's the innocence and confidence Robin brings. Tim isn't as...cheerful, enthusiastic about it as Jason was. Tim has seen the horrors already but...there is something familiar about it that makes her laugh. Sam hopes he's able to keep that.
Jason thinks he's melted into the ground with her laugh. The hard part of this whole thing is not going to be training Tim. That'll be easy. The hardest part is going to pretend like it isn't killing him to act like this is all fine with him and Sam. It is killing him not to poke fun at her or ask about everything. This is going to be torture.
"That what I sounded like?" Jason asks quietly.
"Kind of." Sam nods her head at him, a soft and beaming smile directed right at him.
"What?" Tim questions.
"Nothing." Sam brushes it off. "Okay, look, why don't you stay here with Jason for tonight and I'll come by tomorrow. We'll go look together."
"You do teams?" Tim quips.
"No." Sam shakes her head, knowing that is a bald-faced lie. "But you're my friend and I help my friends."
"Okay, yeah, cool." Tim smiles widely. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Sam nods softly before clearing her throat. "I'm gonna head out then. Uh..." She pauses for a second before she gets to her feet. "Molly is probably waiting for me so I'll just text you what time to be ready." Sam offers Jason a nervous nod and closed-mouth smile.
Sam makes her way to Tim, giving him a quick hug before she heads for the door. Jason almost lets her. But, seeing her and feeling this way? It's not what he wants. He doesn't want her to be here just because Dick asked her. He doesn't want her to be here just for Tim. He can't just pretend this is all fine.
"I'll, uh, walk you out." Jason pushes off the table, earning Sam to turn around, raising a brow at him.
"Uh..yeah, yeah, okay." Sam nods slowly. "Thanks."
"Don't touch anything." Jason warns Tim before catching up to Sam.
Sam and Jason walk side-by-side out of the room and her stomach is swirling, turning into a goo. She is nearly vibrating from nervousness being around him again. And he looks so good. He looks healthy. The last time she saw him, he was covered in scrapes and bruises but there aren't any on his face. She knows there have to be some under his clothes but his face looks good and his cheeks aren't as hollowed as they were before. His hair is fluffy just as it always was. He looks good.
Jason glances at her and Jason Todd is not one to get nervous but he is so nervous right now he's stuffing his hands in his pockets just because his hands are sweating too much. It's Sam and he has no reason to be nervous but his heart is thundering in his chest and he wants to smile ear-to-ear. Everything is different but it almost doesn't feel that way. His heart is beating for her right now just as it did from day one to day 100. It only ever beats for her.
The two of them reach the door, standing and facing each other. There should be sort of 'see you later' exchange that happens but neither of them entirely know how to do that. Not with each other. They were friends, then friends with benefits, then together, and now they're exes. A handshake still feels far too professional given the intimacy that stands between them and the horrors they've endured together. A wave feels fucking pathetic. And a hug seems a bit out of the question.
It's not even like either of them want to do this whole 'see you later' thing. They have endless questions and if tonight ends, tomorrow will begin and it might be different again. Jason doesn't want to risk anything in this. So, instead of fumbling his way through a goodbye that would haunt him in his sleep for the next ten years, he starts conversation just to stall her a little.
"What'd you do?" Jason jerks his head, pointing towards the bruise on her eye and he almost touches it. He has to force his hands to stay in his pockets.
"Oh, uh," Sam smiles softly, touching the yellow with her fingertips. "Molly, actually."
"No fucking way." Jason chuckles.
"Yeah, uh, been training her a bit." Sam's brows furrow just for a second before she licks her lips. "She asked just to be prepared walking home or some shit. Um...and uh, obviously, you taught her a thing or two. But, she actually fell and I got an elbow to the face."
Jason lets out a booming laugh and Sam forgets how to breathe. It sounds just as lovely as it did before. Booming and loud, thunder shaking her rib cage free of all its pain.
"It was an accident?"
"Yeah." Sam nods quickly. "Fucking painful one. This shit is two weeks out. My eye was swollen shut for like two days!"
Jason keeps laughing and his nose scrunches. Sam swears he's still the cutest person to ever walk the earth. How could anyone not be in love with him?
"Sorry, you alright?" Jason asks, but the smile is still ripping across his face as he licks his lips.
"I am fine, thank you." Sam nods her head, a soft smile on display. "You, uh, you look good, Jay."
The nickname sends his head into a spiral. He can't believe after everything they've done to each other and the time that's passed, she can still make him feel this way. She makes him feel like everything is gonna be alright somehow. And he makes her so happy. Something so simple and it's just joy.
"Thanks, Sammy." Jason nods his head. "So do you." His eyes soften with the ease of his words.
"Thank you." Sam pulls in a breath.
There's a silence that falls over them and something hits them. This is a request from Dick. It wasn't supposed to be a reunion for them. It just happened to work out that way. Jason still did all of that and Sam still hurt him and betrayed him. Neither one of them had the courage to call the other. It took Tim coming here needing help. Something about that really hurts. Their minds take over even as happy as they are to see each other, to feel the love blossom through their chests. But, they look at each other and wonder how they could ever ask for forgiveness, especially with each other looking so good. So, they don't. They punish themselves.
"Molly's helping me, by the way." Sam blurts out on purpose, knowing it'll piss him off.
Sam isn't trying to hurt him, she's just pissing him off. Jason will snap and fire back and Sam thinks she'll deserve it. Jason Todd has been very good at pushing everyone away and Sam has been very good at running. But, Sam knows Jason expects her to run. If he ever wanted to forgive her for some reason, he'll know exactly what to do. So, she takes a page out of his book and pushes. It'll catch him off guard, piss him off, and it'll be what she deserves anyway. She pushes.
Jason shakes his head, eyes widening. "What the fuck does that mean?" He snaps, searching her face for any indication this is some sort of joke.
"She helps me as Bluejay." Sam shrugs her shoulders.
"Why the fuck would you let her do that?!" Jason nearly demands as he crosses his arms.
Molly is his friend, too. He knew something was going on but he didn't think Molly was actually helping. At this point, he's pretty the two of them have lost their damn minds. Molly didn't even agree with Batman and Robin and now she's helping? All people do in this path is get hurt or worse. Jason isn't going to give it up and he'd never ask anyone to. but, why the fuck would Sam let Molly help her? If he knows Sam at all, he knows she shouldn't be happy about it.
"She asked." Sam keeps her voice nonchalant, knowing that'll irritate him even more.
"Oh, so fuck it, right? She asked and you're just gonna let her? And what the fuck are you gonna do when someone figures it out, huh?" Jason seethes as he tosses his right arm to the side.
"Oh, but it's fine for Tim, right?" Sam questions back as she blinks at Jason. He doesn't seem to have a single issue with Tim, just Molly which is some of the ammo Sam was looking to get out of this.
"He wouldn't leave any of you guys alone!" Jason defends, his hands shooting out to his sides. Molly and Gar have said they're worried bout her and while he's getting pissed off, he's also growing worried. Starting an argument with him is very uncharacteristic. "Molly isn't a fighter! You're putting her in harm's way!" Jason shakes his head before clocking the Tim remark entirely. "I don't have a fucking say on if Tim's Robin, by the way. He's your fucking friend, too! The fuck are you mad at me for?"
"But you were the previous Robin!" Sam snaps back and she isn't even sure why she does it. Sam doesn't want Robin to be the topic of the argument because that isn't fair. She just can't help it, her mouth is moving faster than her guilt and reason. "You're not bothered by it at all but I have Molly working on a computer and that's not fine?" Sam spits back.
Ow.
If there's anything Jason knows about punishing himself, it's what pushing looks like. He's not entirely sure what is setting her off but there's something. She's hitting a low blow bringing Robin into it and while he doesn't want to fight, it hits an exposed nerve. Jason Todd has always hated feeling exposed.
Jason shakes his head with a bitter laugh. "You haven't fucking talked to me in over a month but now you think you know how I fucking feel about a Robin?" Jason lets out a scoff. "And yeah because Molly doesn't need to be in the fucking middle of some bullshit you won't be able to handle. You'll get hurt or some bullshit, go to her, and you'll be tracked. You don't have a security system, bet your locks are shit, what're you gonna do, huh?"
"Yeah, well, phones work both ways, Jason." Sam spits back, choosing to ignore the second half of the argument. He isn't wrong and she knows it. "Molly wouldn't leave me alone about it and ya know, in my experience, the more we let people not help when they are adamant, they do it anyway and then they die or get hurt." Sam scoffs back. "Seemed better this way." Sam nearly mutters it bitterly.
Jason can feel his heart breaking again because this isn't about Molly. He knew it wasn't but it's still about him. He's thinking she's not over the fact that he died which she should not be. But, it almost feels like she's choosing to blame him for his own death and that's something he never thought Sam would do.
"The fuck is that supposed mean?" Jason asks, his voice rough and angered but he's not yelling. That's always the most hurtful form of Jason Todd.
Too far. Too far. Too far.
Sam never intended to hurt him. It's just...maybe there's a lot of unsaid things from both of them because they were always so worried about fucking it up. What's left to fuck up now?
Sam backpedals anyway because it is not fair. It's not his fault. "Nothing." Sam shakes her head.
"No, tell me what you really mean." Jason keeps his stance, his voice unwavering.
Jason sees it as her blaming him but that's not true. The way Sam sees it, if people want to help, maybe they're better off to help. Jason and Sam were held captive and dropped from a Skyscraper because they wanted tohelp and Dick said no. Jason wanted to be Robin and help and Bruce ripped it away. Tim wanted to help but everyone said no. Anytime someone really wants to help, they do and then they get hurt or worse. Molly was going to try and help one way or another. This way, Sam can keep an eye on her. Though, Sam can't quite bring herself to explain it all.
"You. Me. Tim. Dick. Gar. Rachel." Sam explains. "All of us."
"And we were fucking thrown into this shit. All of us." Jason argues his side. "I sure as shit didn't pick it--"
"But you would have!" Sam screams back because it all just hurts again. He's lying to himself if he doesn't think he wouldn't have picked Robin if it were a choice. "Don't pretend like Robin was some burden thrown onto you because he wasn't! You loved it. You still do. Bruce may have weaponized you but he offered it to you and you took it."
He knows Sam is right. Of course, he would have picked it. It was the coolest and greatest thing to happen to him at the time. He was useful and he was enough. He was finally fucking good at something and he was finally good for something. It made him feel like he belonged somewhere even if it didn't last. Of course, he'd do it again. As hard as it is, as tortuous as the last few months have been, he doesn't think he'd do anything differently.
"Fine, what about you?" Jason quips back. "Dick gave you a fucking choice. I remember that." Jason scoffs. "You'd take it all back? If you knew how this ended."
"Of fucking course I would, Jason!" Sam's voice finally cracks. "Yeah, I'd never fucking ask you to help me and I never would have went after Deathstroke with you or Jerry or any of this shit. If I could go back, I'd undo it." Sam pulls in a shaky breath and lowers her voice. "It hurts all the time. I'd undo it." Sam gives him a sad and defeated shrug.
It hurts to say it but a part of her, really thinks she'd undo it if given the chance. Maybe she would just tell Dick no. Maybe it wouldn't be like this today. But, there is a larger part of her thinking she wouldn't be able to undo it. A lot of good came out of her being a Titan. She found this family and maybe had she just said no, it wouldn't be like this. She has been able to save a lot of people since being back on Gotham and doesn't that make it all worth it? The greater good should win.
She's looking at Jason and she wouldn't undo that. A lot of good came out of her being a Titan. Finding a family and new friends, Molly, learning how to properly fend for herself and knowing she doesn't have to. It's all good. And Jason. A lot of good came out of being a Titan and Jason is so intertwined in that, she'd never be able to undo it without undoing them.
She would never be able to.
She doesn't want to and this whole argument was just so stupid.
Jason looks to the ground and he knows what she means but so much of them is intertwined in doing this that undoing that, almost feels like undoing them. He knows that's not what Sam means and she's angry over something Jason isn't sure what. They've talked about it. It's just harder today. It doesn't stop it from hurting though.
"Why put that on Molly then?" Jason brings his voice back down.
"Because you'd do it all over again." Sam says softly. "Because Dick would do it over again. And Bruce and Tim and Kory and...all of them without even thinking twice about it. I think even Gar would. Molly won't regret it and you know that." Sam strengthens her voice. "So, she's helping and you're just gonna have to deal with it, I guess."
"It's still fucking stupid." Jason lets to a soft groan.
This is stupid. He's supposed to be doing better here but he fights her anyway. The punishment to himself and she started it. But...it doesn't feel good to be here again. He doesn't want to be here. He has fought tooth and nail to be alone and now that he is, he doesn't like it too much. It hurts to be here alone. It hurts to be here without her. Jason promised her he'd make it up to her one day and yeah maybe he could have called and she could have called. But, neither of them did. Jason tells the voices in his head to shut the fuck up and he bites back at them.
"Just...make sure she's safe." Jason swallows thickly, catching Sam off guard. Jason never backs down. "You're probably right. Molly can be pretty persistent." He backs down for himself and for Sam. He won't let her punish herself this way. She never let him.
"Yeah..." Sam trails off, tugging the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands as guilt eats away at her bones. "I didn't want her help." Sam whispers, caving, too. It doesn't matter what she thinks she deserves and doesn't deserve. Jason doesn't deserve someone to push him away if he's trying. That's not fair. "But...it doesn't work telling people no so...I make sure she's okay." Sam nods her head. "She is only my eyes in the sky. No one even knows I have someone on the inside."
"Good." Jason nods his head. "Yeah..." Jason trails off, his stare going to the floor, the white streak hanging loosely over his forehead.
One of them has to bring it up. One of them has to bring up the time they've spent apart. One of them has to say something besides the unsaid words that are nearly strangling them. It will always feel giddy with a sense of dread and awkwardness unless they do. Sam always apologizes.
"I'm sorry for not calling." Jason states, catching Sam off guard and it's like he's just stacked twenty more pounds of guilt onto her pile. A lump grows in her throat and not once did she ever actually blame him for not calling her. She thinks he shouldn't in order to protect himself. "I just...got busy and I don't know." Jason shrugs his right shoulder. "Should have."
"I-I'm sorry, too." Sam nods her head. "I, uh...yeah, busy." Sam nods her head, swallowing the lump her throat and biting back tears.
He has nothing to be sorry for.
Jason's heart sinks because there's something wrong. There is always something in the way she stutters around him that gives it away. It got to the point where she almost never did. She almost never tugged her sleeves down. It's more a nervous tick than anything and now she's doing it again. She's too exposed around him again and Jason can't help but feel it's all his fault and it's too late. The thing they had, that strength that ruins mountains, has just wilted away. He thinks it might be his biggest regret.
"I'm really sorry." Sam says more clearly this time. "For, uh, f-for not calling and uh, arguing with you just now. I, uh...I-I don't know." She tugs the collar of her hoodie down just a bit, feeling suffocated by the fabric but then Jason sees the silver of a necklace around her neck.
She still wears it?
Sam opens her mouth to talk but Jason cuts her off.
"Is that the necklace I gave you?" He blurts out before he can even process it. He needs to know.
Sam looks down, seeing the chain stare back a her before she pulls the pendant from her hoodie and Jason wants to combust.
"Yeah." She states, the infinity charm staring back a her. "Uh..." A smile pulls at her lips. She never takes it off even when it all feels hopeless because maybe, just maybe, it's not just the cliche of infinity of her but some sort of symbol of hope that they'll find their way back one day. "I know we haven't talked and this shit feels awkward and shit but uh, I don't know." She licks her lips. "Figured Molly would call if you something happened and then...you'd know."
Sam is realizing how dumb this whole thing. Maybe they can't have what they really want. Maybe that's not how this is meant to be. But she knows he checks up on her and she knows he knows she does the exact same. It's silly and ridiculous for them to tiptoe over each other as if they haven't witnessed each other at their best and worst. Sam held his lifeless body in her hands. Jason saves her life. Being a part from each other...not worth it.
A smile pulls at his lips before it turns into a smirk. "Someone's gotta be prepared with your habit of being kidnapped." Maybe it gives him hope, too.
"Shut the fuck up." Sam groans. "It's been months." Sam can't help the smile that crosses her lips.
"You're due." Jason quips back.
Sam lets out a laugh, sending a chill down Jason's spine. "I am good on that thanks."
Jason tilts his back, feeling the same as her. This whole thing is fucking stupid. He needs to swallow his pride and he just doesn't want her leave. Despite his habit of spiraling into self-deprecating thoughts, he knows there has to be something left between them. Since the very first day, there has been something there. So, maybe they try this friend thing again. Maybe it'll work out.
"This is fucking stupid, right?" Jason laughs. "Not talking and shit." He clarifies.
"Yeah." Sam nods with a laugh. "Molly and Gar and Tim have been telling me that."
"Molly, Gar, and Dick." Jason groans. "Fuck, even Bruce."
Sam lets out a laugh. "Okay, you know it's bad when Bruce is over here giving you advice on the s."
"Right?" Jason lets out a scoff. "We good?" Jason asks with hopeful eyes.
"Always were, Jay." Sam smiles softly at him and in that moment, she makes a silent promise to herself that she doesn't care about her heart but she will guard his with every knife she has. "Friends who actually talk and act like it this time?" Sam questions.
"Yeah, need someone to nag me." Jason sticks his hand out.
"Oh, well, if you insist. Clean this fucking place, it's a mess!" Sam takes his hand in hers, shaking it softly.
"Since we're friends, you could help." Jason quips back, looking at the hallway that resembles the aftermath of a tornado.
Sam takes her hand back. "You could go fuck yourself."
"Where's the fun in that?" Jason grins back at her with furrowed brows.
SAm's brows raise with a splitting smile. "Ask your hand."
Jason let out a chortle. "Fair."
"Okay, seriously, I gotta get back. Molly will have too many questions if I stay any longer." Sam nods her head, already mentally preparing for the amount of questions Molly will have and knowing none of them will actually pertain to Tim. "I'll be back tomorrow, you gonna come?"
"Nah." Jason shakes his head, figuring he'll let the two of them catch up by Sam showing him the ropes alone for a bit. "You guys go. Dick call you?"
"Mhm, you?" Sam pretends like she doesn't know, mostly to keep the peace between the batboys.
"Yep." Jason nods his head. "Setup?"
"Absolutely." Sam laughs. "Dude still hasn't told Kory but he's setting us up."
"We have to repay the favor then, I guess." Jason offers Sam a wild and menacing grin.
"Oh, definitely." Sam nods quickly.
Jason shakes his head with a laugh. "Just gotta get Tim into shape first."
"We'll get him ready in no time." Sam beams back at him with the scrunch of her nose.
"We'll start training when you guys get back tomorrow but follow my lead." Jason offers, already ten steps ahead with a plan.
"Because Tim can't know." Sam finishes.
"I got an idea." Jason nods.
"You always have a plan."
"Always." The word babe almost slips from his lips.
"Okay, Jay." Sam's cheeks shoot red, sensing it, too. "I will see you tomorrow." She nods once before she turns on her heels and exits the building.
Jason watches her and his thinks he's breathless. There's something reminiscent of the first day he met her. Not entirely knowing much about her. He knows about her today but there's a gap of time he's missing. There are two actually because he doesn't know all of the details in the time he died. There are voids he's missing and what's changed about her because of them? It almost feels like that first day because his bones are vibrating with excitement and he can't wait to see her again. It feels like it did then and he would love to keep chasing that feeling.
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