Going Back

"I will come back, I promise." He uttered and kiss my forehead. Marahan akong tumango sa kan'ya bilang sagot.

Alam ko namang darating ang araw na ito at inihanda ko na ang sarili ko, pero bakit hindi ko mapigilang makaramdam ng kaba at pangamba?

Natatakot akong tuluyan s'yang agawin sa 'kin ng kan'yang responsibilidad. But I trust him. I trust his words.

"I will wait for you, and I will welcome you with a tight embrace. Fight and survive baby..." I sincerely answered.

"Embrace lang? Walang kiss?" Minsan lang ako umirap at isa ang pagkakataong ito. Styyx won't be Styyx without his shenanigans.

"Let's get marry after this Styyx," like what I expected his eyes widen and his lips rifted.

Ilang segundo pa ang dumaan bago tila na-proseso ng utak n'ya ang sinabi ko.

"Damn! Baby is that true? Ikaw na ang nagyaya sa 'kin? Oh shit! Please tell me I'm not dreaming," he exaggeratedly uttered, exhilaration evident on his voice.

"You're not General. Now pack your things up. You will fight and come back home. Come back to me alright?" I uttered full of authority.

He immediately straighten his back and saluted at me vigorously while he still can't get over of what I said.

"Sure Ms. President. I will always come back, mostly now that I have the assurance of marrying you right after this war. I will marry you baby wait for me..." He smiled at me sweetly.

I was astounded when he immediately pull my hips towards him and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"I love you so much..." He uttered after his lips leave mine.

Pinagtagpo n'ya ang noo namin habang hawak ng dalawa n'yang kamay ang kamay ko at pinaglalaruan ang singsing na suot ko.

"Oh God finally. Wait for me Mrs. Andervano," ngumiti ako sa kan'ya.

"I will."

Muli n'ya 'kong niyakap at hinalikan sa noo bago n'ya ibinaling ang paningin n'ya kay papa Rhysx.

"Pa did you heard that? We will get marry after this pa," masaya n'yang anunsyo kay papa na tila ba hindi talaga nito narinig ang sinabi ko.

Natatawang umiiling-iling si papa saka tinapik ang likod n'ya.

"I did son. I am so happy for you. I can't be prouder of seeing you right now wearing the emblem of fighting and protecting our country. Fight and come back son. I am waiting for you, your fiancé is waiting for you—we all do."

"I will pa, thank you." Muli silang nagyakapan dalawa.

Pilit mang itago ni papa ang totoong emosyon n'ya ay nakikita ko pa rin ito sa mga mata n'ya.  He's worried and at the same time proud.

"Wait for daddy, Andrea," wika ni Styyx sa kan'yang pusa saka ito hinalikan sa noo.

Papalabas na si Styyx sa pintuan nang tawagin ko s'ya. Nakangiti s'yang tumingin sa 'kin.

"I love you," I mouthed.

Lalong lumapad ang ngiti n'ya. He mumbled I know before saluting at me once again.

I saluted back at him, with my eyes close to welling up tears. I may be a tough woman but I still can't help the fact that Styyx is my weakness. And seeing him leaving me without the certainty of coming back hurts like hell.

Marahil ay ito ang pakiramdam ng pamilya ko noon sa tuwing umaalis ako para sa operasyon.

"He will come back Ry," tipid na lamang akong ngumiti kay M.

Pinagmasdan ko ang pag-alis ng sasakyan ni Styyx, habang umaasa ako na sana tutuparin n'ya ang pangako n'ya. He should.

"When will you go M?" I asked her. She volunteered to be one of the military nurse.

"I'm going in the day after next day," tipid akong tumango sa kan'ya.

"Hija, are you okay?" Papa asked. I averted my look at him, he's now carrying Styyx's cat.

"Opo," I faked a smile.

"Don't worry. This isn't the first time that he left me for an operation. He always do what he said. Mana sa 'kin ang anak ko. Alam kong panghahawakan n'ya ang pangako n'ya. So don't worry okay? Let's just trust him." Papa assured me.

I smiled in conserve at him. He's right. Styyx will come back, I know he will.

—————

Hindi ako mapakali at paulit-ulit ako sa paglalakad sa gitna ng sala. Bukas pa ako pupunta ng Malacańang upang muling makipagpulong sa mga matataas na opisyal sa AFP(Armed Forces of the Philippines).

Now is the third day of the war. Our plan worked and the Philippine Military successfully got the advantage in the war.

Ngunit hindi nito pinigilan ang pag-aalala ko. Gusto kong siguraduhin ang lahat. Gusto kong ako mismo ang makasaksi sa mga nangyayari. I just can't stand here and wait for the result.

"Where are you going M?" Tanong ko sa kan'ya nang nagmamadali s'yang bumaba. Mabilis niyang isinilid ang mga gamit n'ya.

"I'm going. Our head called they're running out of nurses I need to help," tumaas ang kilay ko sa sinabi n'ya.

Ngayon pa lang ang ikatlong araw ng gyera, pero agad na silang naubusan ng nurse? Ganoon na ba kalaki ang bilang ng mga sugatan?

"I'll come." Matigas kong wika. Ngunit agad na gumuhit ang pagtutol sa ekspresyon n'ya.

"No you're not Eury! You're the President, you're supposed to stay here and make plans. Dito ka lang at hindi ka sasama sa 'kin Eury. Alam ko ang bawat liko ng bituka mo. Kakaiba ka kung mag-isip kaya't dito ka lang. That's what I promised to Styyx—guarding you," my brows creased in her words.

"What are you saying M? I'm just going to look at the situation. I'm not going to do anything," pagtanggi ko. Ngunit nanatili ang determinasyon n'ya sa mga binitiwan niyang salita.

"Whatever Eury. You'll stay here sa ayaw at gusto mo. Please lang Ry..." She pleaded that made my brows crease more.

What the hell is she saying? I'm just going to check on the situation. Ang dami n'ya nang sinabi.

"Mnemosyne..." I called her in her complete first name, I'm trying to show her that I'm determined and serious. Ngunit hindi s'ya nagpatinag.

"I'm going Ry. Bye I love you. Stay here.." napabuntong-hininga ako nang mabilis n'ya akong niyakap saka s'ya nagmamadaling umalis.

"Ate?" Minoa called.

I glanced at her only to see her disheveled hair and weary eyes. It's passed midnight. Mukha s'yang naalimpungatan.

"Go back to sleep Minoa. Come here," I uttered and kiss her forehead while I'm guiding her towards her room.

She's too innocent. Wala nga s'yang kaalam-alam na may nagaganap na gyera sa bansa ngayon.

Hindi pa man tuluyang sumisikat ang araw ngunit mabilis na akong nagtungo sa opisina ko.

Kasalukuyan na ring naroon ang mga mataas na opisyal ng AFP maging ang Department of Defense.

Buong araw ay wala akong ginawa kung hindi ang makipagpulong sa kanila habang nag-aalala.

17% of our men are gone. Hindi ko mapigilang manlumo sa impormasyon. 17% is too much. Iniisip ko pa lang kung ilang buhay na ang nakapaloob sa bahagdang iyon ay hindi ko na mapigilang lalong mag-alala.

Ngunit wala akong magagawa kung hindi ang tanggapin iyon. Hindi ito matatawag na gyera kung walang mamamatay at walang masusugatan. How I hope Styyx is not one of those 17% or else I'll lose my sanity.

Mula noong araw na umalis siya ay hindi ko na s'ya nakausap. Sinubukan ko s'yang tawagan sa telepono n'ya ngunit nakapatay ito.

I'm just assuming that maybe he's in the middle of the war while I was calling, that's why his phone is off.

Lumipas ang dalawang Linggo at patuloy pa rin ang gyera. Wala pa rin akong naririnig mula kay Styyx, dahilan para lalo akong kabahan.

Amidst the good news that the Philippine Military have the advantage during the war, I still can't keep myself on worrying. As long as the war isn't over, this worry of mine won't belost.

"M? How's the situation there?" I immediately asked after answering her call.

It's still 3 in the morning, but I didn't get the chance of sleeping. I can't do it knowing that there are soldiers out there who are fighting for our country's territory.

"Chaotic." Iyon lang ang sagot n'ya pero agad ko nang nakuha ang buong kahulugan nun.

Napapikit na lang ako nang mariin kasabay nang pagkuyom ng kamao ko.

"Have you seen Styyx?" I worriedly asked. I heard her heave a sigh of sorrow over the line, causing my heart to beat fast.

"No I didn't. Panay Marine ang dinadala rito," hindi ko alam kung mapapahinga ba ako nang maluwag sa sinabi n'ya dahil nalaman kong walang masyadong nasaktan sa hanay nila Styyx, o makokonsensya ako at manlulumo dahil sa katotohanang malaki ang posibilidad na sila ang mga Marine na naunang humarang sa mga Tsino.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Prioritize the one's with the red mark!"

"Nurse scalpel!"

"Everyone double time! Many are approaching!"

Nanghina ang tuhod ko nang narinig ko ang sigawan sa kabilang linya. Sigawan ng mga doktor, medic at mga sundalong sugatan. May mga kalansing ng metal at iba't-ibang mga gamit. Tila lahat ay hirap na hirap at okupado.

Nang marinig ko iyon ay agad na nagpaalam sa 'kin si M.

Napasalampak ako sa upuan kasabay nang pagguhit ng sakit sa sistema ko.

Pilitin ko man ang sarili kong maging malakas at huwag ma-apektuhan sa mga nangyayari ay hindi ko pa rin magawa.

What kind of President I am? My men are out there in the middle of the darkness while playing with death, while I'm just here sitting and waiting for a report.

Mabilis kong inutusan sila Emmanuel na magmaneho pauwi sa bahay.

Alas-sais pa lang ng umaga ngunit tila naging baliktad na ang nakaugalian ko. Umaga na sa tuwing umuuwi ako sa bahay habang buong gabi naman ay nasa opisina ako at pinag-aaralan ang mga datos ng gyera.

When I reached house I immediately edge my way towards my room and prepare myself.

I'm done waiting. I can't sit in my chair anymore and wait inside my office for the news about the war.

A leader shouldn't stay behind his men and stay protected. A leader is the one who stand infront of her men and leading them to a fight. And I want to be a leader now.

Sakay ng isang chopper ay narating namin ang lugar kung saan dinadala ang mga sundalong sugatan.

May mga iilang helicopter pa'ng dumadating na may dalang mga sundalong sugatan.

Nang makapasok ako sa loob ay tuluyan na ngang nanghina ang tuhod ko. Isa lamang itong simpleng ospital, ngunit sapat na para magkasya ang higit sa dalawang-daang pasyente. Ngunit ngayon ay may nakaratay ng sugatang sundalo sa labas dahil hindi na nagkakasya sa loob.

Sigawan ng sakit at pagmamadali ang bumalot sa loob. Tila naglalakad ako sa gitna ng mga hospital bed na nasa bingit na ng kamatayan ang mga nakahiga.

Nagkalat ang dugo sa sahig. May ilan pang sundalo ang mga naputulan ng paa o kung hindi ay braso. May ilang sumisigaw ng hindi s'ya makakita at hindi s'ya makarinig.

I have seen this. Nakita ko na ang ganitong mga tagpo mula pa man noon. Ngunit iba pa rin pala kapag alam mo sa sarili mong ikaw ang dahilan nito.

"Ms. President?" Tanong sa 'kin ng isang doktor nang mapansin n'ya ko. Base on his appeal I think he's the head doctor.

"How was it?" I don't know if that was an appropriate question to ask but I don't care. I don't know what to ask anymore, now that I have already seen the answer.

"Simula pa po kahapon ay patuloy ang pagdating ng mga sugatan. Wounded soldiers from the explosion," tipid akong tumango sa sinabi n'ya.

Mabilis nang bumalik ang doktor sa trabaho n'ya at agad sinaklolohan ang kakarating pa lang na sugatang sundalo. Napapikit ako nang makita ko ang kalagayan nito. Putol ang dalawa niyang paa, dahilan para sumigaw s'ya sa sakit na tila wala ng bukas.

I thought of finding M and check on her but I know that she won't like the idea of me being here. So I just leave the place and head towards the main base of the military.

Ilang kilometro pa man ang layo namin sa base mula dito sa himpapawid ay rinig na ang palitan ng mga putok, tunog ng bomba at kung ano-ano pang pagsabog na dulot ng digmaan.

When I reached the base I immediately find my way towards the office of the high ranked officials and my eyes automatically look for Styyx.

"Ms. President," agad na tumayo ang dalawang Heneral at sumaludo sa 'kin nang mapansin nila 'ko.

I saluted back at them while my eyes are searching for Styyx. I can see the surprised expression in the faces of the two General's together with the people inside here. I know shouldn't be here. But I just really can't stay in my office.

"How's everything General?" They offered a seat for me beside the Military Intelligence team.

"China dropped some improvised bomb. 25% of our men was affected," I nod my head as a response.

I already knew about it, I have seen it's result earlier.

Nagpatuloy ang usapan namin hanggang lumubog ang araw. Ngunit wala akong balak umalis hangga't hindi ko nakikita si Styyx.

Kakagaling ko pa lamang sa hanay ng Airforce nang biglang nagsidatingan ang apat na chopper.

Isa-isang bumaba mula rito ang mga sundalo na kagagaling lang sa battlefield.

Agad na gumuhit ang kasabikan sa sistema ko nang makita ko ang tenyente ni Styyx. His friend Lieutenant Escriber is wounded. He got shot in his left arm, but he still managed to suppress a smile after seeing that they successfully landed back on their base from the perilous battlefield of death and life.

Ngunit hindi ko nasumpungan si Styyx, dahilan para bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko at balutin ng kaba at pag-alala ang sistema ko.

Isa lang ang maaaring maging rason upang hindi makabalik si Styyx kasama nila. At kailanman ay hindi ko tatanggapin ang rason na iyon.

Pinanood ko silang asikasuhin ng mga medic, maging ang pag-upo ni Escriber sa isa sa upuan sa labas.

Tila malalim ang iniisip n'ya. Kaya't nang naiwan s'yang mag-isa ay agad akong lumapit sa kan'ya.

Sinaway ko s'ya nang aktong sasaludo s'ya sa 'kin. I don't need a salute right now.

"How are you Lieutenant?" I started.

"I'm fine ma'am. Thanks for asking," nakangiti niyang wika.

"Where's your General?" Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa at direkta ko na s'yang tinanong.

Tila natigilan siya sa tanong ko at napatitig siya sa sapatos n'ya. Nag-aalangan s'yang nag-angat ng tingin sa 'kin.

I creased my brows and look at him with the mixture of confusion and denial in my eyes.

"I'm with him on the battlefield," nabuhayan ako ng loob nang narinig ko ang sinabi n'ya.

"But I didn't found him when the Airforce arrived and when we're supposed to get back here," my knees weakened.

I balled my fists asking for a support, hoping that it'll give my system an enough strength for me to stand.

"What are you trying to say?"

"We got back here under my command ma'am." He uttered in hesitation.

Under his command?

Lieutenants only do that when they're General are gone. But that's bullshit!

"What?! You can't leave your General Lieutenant!" I retorted.

He bowed his head. And took something from his pocket.

"NO!"

I shouted in asphyxiation when he handed me a letter. I looked at him with my eyes starting to blur— with tears.

Hindi ko matatanggap at kailanman ay hindi ko matatanggap. Para saan ang sulat na inaabot n'ya sa 'kin? Iisang sundalo lang naman ang pwedeng magbigay nun sa 'kin, at wala s'yang karapatan na ibigay ito sa 'kin ngayon.

"H-he left it for you ma'am," his voice broke. I know it's hard for him to do this. He's Styyx's friend.

"Put that away from me Lieutenant. You can't give it to me!" I shook my head side to side while desperately waving my hand in the air.

"I'm sorry ma'am. I'm so sorry, but General Andervano did everything. I saw how he fought inside the battlefield for almost 3 weeks. He's my friend ma'am. Masakit sa 'kin ang ginawa ko. Masakit sa 'king iwan ang kaibigan ko roon. But ma'am I need to save my remaining men. Kailangan ko s'yang iwan para sa mga kapwa namin sundalo," mahina n'yang wika habang pinipigilan ang pagtulo ng kan'yang luha.

"Enough Lieutenant. Styyx is alive I know. He promised me that he will come back. I can't accept that. I can't believe in your lies. No, never!" Hindi ko na nakayanan at mabilis ko na s'yang tinalikuran kasama ang sulat na inaabot n'ya.

I can't accept that damn letter! My fiancé is alive. He is!

I run my way towards a place where no one is around. After minutes of running I found myself leaning in a trunk with the moon's light bathing me.

Sunod-sunod kong pinahid ang luha kong hindi na matigil sa pagbuhos.

Ang sakit. Ang sakit-sakit.

"Damn you Styyx! You're an asshole! You promised to me! You promised!!!" Wala na akong pakialam sa paligid ko at hinayaan ko ang sarili kong isigaw ang lahat kasabay nang paghagulgol ko.

Hindi ko inaasahang matapos ang ilang taong pagkawala ng pamilya ko, ay muli kong mararamdaman ang sakit na tila ba pinapatay ako.

My stare went on my engagement ring.

He can't be dead. No! He's alive! My fiancé is alive!

"Ba...by please...come back to me...tell me this isn't real. Oh God please wake me up..." I stare at the moon above me, hoping that Styyx is doing it too.

This is too painful Styyx. Paano mo ako nagawang saktan ng ganito? I trusted you! I love you! But why? Why can't you fullfil your promise? Why you didn't come back to me?

"I will come back, I promise."

My tears welled up more when I remembered his words. I covered my mouth with my clenched hands trying to keep myself from crying. Styyx don't like it when I cry.

"Baby. I l-love you so much. Please come back. I need you to tell me that this isn't r-real." I uttered in between my sobs. I'm hoping that he will hear the trickles of my tears and he will immediately come to me and wipe my tears.

He will tell me that I need to be strong. That I shouldn't let my weaknesses overwhelm me. But how? How can I do it now baby? How can I be strong when you're not here beside me?

"I will come back, I promise."

You will, baby. You will come back I know. You can't leave me like this. You love me right?

I forced myself to stand up and compose my self. I wipe my tears and ignore the excruciating pain inside me. Patuloy pa rin sa pag-agos ang luha ko, pero hindi ko ito inalintana.

I'm a woman who value evidences so much. I can't believe in a statement with shallow basis.

If he won't come back to me then I will fetch him. He promised and he should fullfil it.

Sa abot nang makakaya ko ay pilit kong inaalis sa isip ko ang mga nalaman ko. Pinaniwala ko ang sarili ko na panaginip lang ang lahat ng iyon. Dahil hindi naman talaga iyon totoo.

I wiped my tears once again and took a deep breath. I composed my self as I walk boldly towards the base.

Dumiretso ako sa hanay ng Airforce. I need a fvcking jet plane right now.

"Ms. President?" The General saluted at me with confusion.

I gave him a nod and edge my way towards the row of jet planes. May mga engineer na kasalukuyang chine-check-up ang mga eroplano habang ang ibang mga piloto nito ay nakatambay sa gilid at naghihintay ng utos.

"General, can I borrow one of your planes?" I asked as I look at him with authority.

"Ma'am?" He asked full of hesitation and confusion, like he's making sure that he heard it right.

"I need a jet plane, aviate me to the battlefield," puno ng awtoridad kong wika. Walang bahid ng pag-aalinlangan ang bawat salita ko.

"Ma'am are you sure? You can't go there. It's dangerous ma'am. With all due respect, I'm sorry ma'am but I can't do that." Nagsalubong ang kilay ko sa sinabi n'ya.

Why can't he give it to me? For fvck's sake! My fiancé is still there! Hindi man lang ba nila iyon alam?

"That's an order General." I firmly add.

"But ma'am this is ou--" I cutted his words off with a yell of frustration.

"Just lend me a fvcking jet plane and let me fly there! What do you need for you to do that? I'm willing to promote you into a higher position just get me a fvcking jet plane!" Agad na gumuhit sa reaksyon n'ya ang pagkabigla. Nag-aalangan s'ya kung sasagot ba s'ya o hindi.

"Y-yes ma'am."

He approached a pilot who's busy staring at a photo. When the pilot glance at me his eyes widen. Of course he was just ordered to aviate a President into the battlefield. Who wouldn't be surprised?

Beneath the glistening moon here I am successfully flying in a jet plane with this hesitant pilot. He keeps on glancing at me, with a worried expression that really annoys me.

"Just mind your thing pilot, don't look at me."

"Ma'am, delikado po ang paglipad ngayon. Chinese soldiers might be in the battlefield and finding some alive Filipino soldiers. If they'll notice our plane, they'll definitely turn this into ashes," I bluntly stare at him.

His words didn't even give me the hesitation that I can see in his eyes.

Finding some alive Filipino soldier? And then what? Kill them thoroughly?

That's bullshit! Huwag na huwag silang magkakamaling mahanap si Styyx at tuluyan ito. I swear I'll blow them.

We landed in a seaside kilometers away from the battlefield.

Hindi pwedeng pumasok ang eroplano sa loob ng battleground, dahil kagaya nang sinabi ng piloto ay baka mapulbos na ito bago pa man makapasok.

Nilakad ko ang ilang kilometrong layo ng battleground. Nakapwesto na sa dalawang kamay ko ang dalawang baril ko na may silencer habang ginagamit ko ang liwanag ng buwan upang maaninag ang dadaanan ko.

Wait for me baby.. I'm coming...

Alerto ako sa bawat galaw ko, lalo na nang marating ko ang battleground.

I crawl in the ground quietly when I saw a Chinese troop patrolling around.

There are 20 of them. Hinintay ko silang makaalis bago ako nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

Lieutenant Escriber gave me the exact location where he last saw Styyx, and I just need to reach it now with this burning hope inside me.

It took me couple of minutes before I reach the spot. And there I saw lifeless Chinese and Filipino soldiers lying on the ground few were Americans.

"Baby?" I whispered our endearment hoping that he will hear it.

I immediately stop when I heard rustles of sand. Someone is moving. I immediately hide in a dark spot where anyone can hardly see.

Pinakiramdaman ko ang paligid ko. Patuloy pa rin ang kaluskos na naririnig ko. Tila may naglalakad at ang mas masaklap ay patungo ito sa direksyon ko.

Ang isang pares ng yabag ay sinundan ng dalawa hanggang parami nang parami. I am sure it's the Chinese soldiers.

I was about to punch someone when he suddenly appeared in front of me, but my hands didn't cooperate with me when my eyes immediately recognized who it is.

Tears began to well up my eyes. My heart began to pound so fast, as the corner of my lips formed into a vigorous smile.

I immediately pull him into a tight embrace, he was about to refuse but when he recognized me, he hugged me back.

"Oh God thank you..." I kissed the side of his ear while I'm still hugging him.

Tila napawi ang lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko, at napaiyak ako sa saya. I was right! He will never leave me!

"Baby?" He whispered with hesitation.

I nodded in him while I'm caressing his head.

"Yes it's me. It's me baby. It's me," his hands slowly trace my face.

He touched me everywhere like he's wondering if am I real.

"You're no longer my hallucination?" Napaiyak ako lalo sa tanong n'ya.

Sa dalawang linggong pakikipaglaban n'ya hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinagdaan n'ya. But judging to his gestures right now, he's like traumatized and stressed out.

"I was about to punch you, you know that?" I kid. He let out a soft chuckle.

"Baby I love you. Let's ge--" hindi n'ya natuloy ang sasabihin n'ya nang bigla s'yang bumagsak patungo sa 'kin.

Nag-aalala ko s'yang ginising, ngunit malapot na likido ang nahawakan ko sa bandang ulo pababa sa balikat n'ya.

Shit! He's wounded!

Nang masiguro kong nakaalis na ang mga Tsino na rumu-ronda ay mabilis at buong lakas kong binuhat ang bigat n'ya patayo.

"You're too heavy baby," I kid again. Pilit kong tinatakpan ang kaba at pangamba ko.

Natutuwa ako at muli ko s'yang nakita. But what I need to do right now is to get him out here. But the heck! He's too heavy, and he being in an unconscious state doesn't help.

I tried to carry him in a way of how soldiers carry a wounded mate in the midst of the battle. But I can't. He's too heavy.

Kaya isinandal ko na lang ang bigat n'ya sa 'kin, at ini-akbay ko ang isang kamay n'ya sa 'kin upang mas madali ko s'yang mabuhat.

Ilang oras na paglalakad sa kadiliman ang ginawa ko. Ilang ulit kaming muntikang bumagsak, pero pinilit ko ang sarili kong magpatuloy. Kapag lalong tumagal ay baka maubusan s'ya ng dugo.

Tagaktak na ang pawis ko pero wala akong balak na bitawan s'ya. I can sacrifice my self for anyone how much more for him. I'm more than willing to.

Napahinga ako nang maluwag nang maabot namin ang eroplano, agad tumakbo ang piloto papunta sa direksyon namin at tinulungan akong buhatin si Styyx pasakay sa loob.

"You need to go! Hurry! Give him immediate care and attention when you reach the base. Please save him!" Ma-awtoridad kong bilin sa piloto nang nasa loob na si Styyx.

Nakapwesto na s'ya ngunit tila nagdadalawang isip s'yang umalis at sundin ang iniutos ko.

"How about you ma'am?" He asked with hesitation. I shook my head in him.

"I'm fine pilot, now go. Please, he's losing blood. Bilisan mo na!" Pagmamadali ko sa kan'ya, ngunit nakatitig lamang s'ya sa 'kin.

"But ma'am I can't leave you here," he disagreed.

"Yes you can. I'll wait here. Hanggang dalawa lang ang pwedeng maisakay. Don't worry pilot, just take General Andervano back to the base and I'll be fine," I suppress a smile.

Muli akong umakyat sa eroplano at napangiti ako kasabay ng pagtulo ng luha ko, habang pinagmamasdan ko ang payapang mukha ni Styyx.

"I love you so much baby. If I can't come back, please find another woman and fullfil my promise in you to her. I'd love to see you smiling. I love you. Thank you for staying by my side." I kissed his forehead down to his closed eyes and down to his lips.

When I saw a pair of Walkie Talkie in his uniform, I took the other one and slid it inside my pocket.

"Please go now," walang nagawa ang piloto kung hindi ang sumaludo sa 'kin at paliparin ang eroplano paalis.

Natuptop ko ang bibig ko upang pigilan ang sarili kong humikbi. Mula sa buhanginan ay tinanaw ko ang paglipad ng eroplano lulan ang lalaking mahal ko palayo. Sa huling pagkakataon ay sumaludo ako sa kan'ya. Isang saludo na maaaring hindi ko na muling maibigay.

Sapat na ang makita kitang papalapit sa kaligtasan mahal ko. Sapat na ang masiguro kong mabubuhay ka.

Mahal na mahal kita Styyx. Mahal na mahal. Ngunit patawad, kailangan kong tapusin ito.

Dumako ang luhaan kong mga mata sa kalangitan na ngayon ay nagniningning pa rin dahil sa kislap ng mga bituin.

"Let the star and meteor take it's different path baby. When you see the star dying again, please don't save it. You better continue your journey and ignore it. I love you so much Styyx..." I uttered as my look went back on the jet plane flying away from me.

I will try to come back baby but please don't wait for me...

|End of chapter 50|
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