I smile at her and pat her head when she stare at me with admiration and awe. “Mag-aaral po ako ng wikang Ingles para balang araw ay maiintindihan ko po ang huli n’yong sinabi ate. Pero salamat po, opo tutuparin ko po ang lahat ng pangarap ko,” puno ng determinasyon n’yang wika dahilan para humanga na lang ako sa kan’ya.

“Alright Noa. Ngayon tayo na?” Nakangiting tanong ko sa kan’ya sabay lahad muli ng kamay ko sa harapan niya. She grab it with a toothless grin on her face. She seem so happy, like she’s not in the verge of her tragedies in life.

Nang makarating kami sa loob ng kwarto ko ay kumunot na ang noo ko nang nagpa-iwan s’ya sa harap ng pintuan?

“Ayos ka lang Noa?” I asked in confusion. She nodded but she remained standing in the front of the door with her eyes timidly scanning the four corners of my room.

“Ate? Ayos lang po pumasok sa kwarto n’yo?” Nahihiya n’yang wika, dahilan para mapabuntong-hininga na lang ako. I thought she’s thinking of something deeper. I smiled at her as I began to walk closely to her. I let my left knee be in touch with the floor while my hands grab her both arms and hold it gently.

“Yes. Ano ang problema Noa?” I asked with fret evident on my voice. It’s not just timidity in her eyes that I can see. There’s something on it. I can understand the fragments of sadness and pain on it, but there’s really something on it.

“Sabi po kasi sa ‘min ni n-anay hindi daw po magandang pumasok sa kwarto ng iba,” she gave me her sweet yet obviously a fake smile. Unti-unti na namang kumakawala ang mga luha n’ya. Pilit n’ya itong itinatago at pinipigilan sa pamamagitan ng kan’yang ngiti. Now, what makes me think that she can really feel happiness right now?

“Come here,” I uttered and pulled her in a hug. Doon na s’ya tuluyang umiyak muli, ramdam ko pa ang pagtulo ng luha n’ya sa balikat ko.

“A-ate paano n’yo po nagawang tanggapin ang lahat po?” Umiiyak n’ya na namang tanong. Mapait akong napangiti sa sinabi n’ya.

“Dinama ko ang sakit Minoa, hanggang sa nasanay na ako. Sometimes you don’t have to take the pain away, but rather embrace it and feel it until you’ll get use to it,” I embrace her even more and caress her head making it lean on my shoulders.

She’s still crying, and her small hands began to travel on my neck, trying to embrace me back. And again who the hell said that time can heal everything? This kind of wound. This emotional wound. Time can never heal this.

Kahit lumipas man ang gaano kahabang panahon, alam kong mananatili sa puso ni Minoa ang sakit na nadaanan n’ya sa kabataan n’ya. The atrocity of nature. The death of her mother, it’ll leave a void in her being. Time will pass and still it will be left voided.

Kailanman ay hindi magagawang gamutin ng panahon ang sakit na nararamdaman ng isang tao na dulot ng isang emosyonal na trahedya. It will always stay with her, and she will live with that pain. My self is my living proof. I took her out from my embrace and stare intently at her eyes.

“Kapag po ba dinama ko mawawala na po?” Inosente n’yang tanong. Ang kan’yang mga mata ay kumikinang sa luha at sa pag-asang sana nga ay ganoon ang mangyayari. Umiling na lang ako sa tanong n’ya. Kung sana nga ay pwede iyong mangyari.

“Hindi Noa. Mananatili pa rin ang sakit, ‘yon nga lang nasanay na ang sarili mo. Ang mga ganyang klaseng sakit ay hindi iyan nawawala Minoa, mananatili iyan sa ‘yo at mabubuhay ka kasama ang sakit na iyan. Pero ang importante ay hindi mo hinahayaan ang sarili mong balutin ng sakit.”

“Kung gano’n po ay iiyak na lang po ako araw-araw? Ayaw ko po nun ate. Baka po maubos ang luha ko,” inosente n’yang wika habang sumisinghot, dahilan para sumilay ang isang mapait na ngisi sa mukha ko. She’s too innocent to live this kind of life. But I know that someday her innocence will fade, when life will augment the tragedies that she have experienced. How I hope that she’ll grow up as a strong woman.

“Nope. Balang araw maiintindihan mo rin Minoa. Pero sa ngayon huwag ka na munang umiyak okay? Pupuntahan na natin ang nanay mo,” mapait akong ngumiti sa kan’ya. I help her wipe her tears while she’s trying to suppress a smile.

“Opo!” Bagama’t bakas pa sa boses n’ya na kakagaling n’ya lang sa pag-iyak ay pinilit n’ya pa ring magtunog masigla.

————

“Baby you’re so beautiful,” Styyx uttered with his voice full of admiration. I glanced at him and give him an interrogating look.

“We need to go Styyx,” naiiling kong wika sa kan’ya. He’s imagining something again.

“Yes baby I know. But I just can’t move forward on how beautiful my fiancé is. I’m so lucky baby, your fiancé is so lucky. Lucky to have a fiancé like you,” he said with a grin on his face. He’s lucky? It’s supposed to be me.

“Ilang ulit ko na ba iyang narinig mula sa ‘yo Styyx? Just finish your food and let’s go.”

“Alright baby. But you’re going to adopt them right?” Saglit akong napahinto sa pagsubo at napatingin sa kan’ya. Should I?

I nodded in his question. Minoa and Nelo are already an orphan. If they don’t have relatives here then it will be my pleasure to have them in this house, besides napalapit na rin naman ako sa kanila lalong-lalo na kay Minoa.

“I can see Calliope and Augustine in them,” tipid kong wika sa kan’ya. Tumango s’ya sa sinabi ko saka pinagsalikop ang dalawa n’yang kamay at inilagay ito sa ilalim ng baba n’ya. Saglit n’yang binalingan ng tingin sila Minoa at Nelo na nanonood ng TV kasama si M at Mang Erwin.

“Aren’t they too young to experience such kind of tragedy Eury?” He asked. I stare at his eyes for a moment trying to weigh if to who he’s referring to.

“Too young Styyx,” sagot ko na lang. My brother Augustine was just 11 when he died and my sister Calliope, she’s just 8. What a really tragic life.

Nang makarating kami sa St. Peter ay sa bungad pa lang nito humigpit na ang hawak ni Minoa sa kamay ko. It’s like she’s finding some support. Hawak-hawak ko si Minoa habang hawak naman ni Styyx si Nelo. At kagaya ng dati ay tahimik pa rin ito ngunit nababakas sa mga mata n’ya ang labis na sakit at lungkot.

“Eury there are media,” bulong sa ‘kin ni M.

“Mang Erwin can you please call the PSG po?” Ngumiti sa ‘kin si mang Erwin saka tumango. Ilang minuto lang ay na sa likod na namin ang maraming PSG, at agad kaming pinalibutan nila Erick at Emmanuel. When we successfully enter inside, a coffin greeted us. This is the third time around that I went here. I hope I won’t go here again.

“Ate? Tulog po si nanay hindi ba?” Inosenteng tanong sa ‘kin ni Minoa. Mapait ko s’yang nginitian saka ko hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo n’ya. Hirap pa rin s’yang tanggapin ang katotohanan.

“Kailangan mong maging malakas Minoa. Kailangan mong harapin ang mga kinatatakutan mo. You have to be strong and face your fears in order for you to survive this life. Remember that Noa,” matamlay s’yang ngumiti saka tumango. I glanced at Styyx and he’s already looking at me with an amused expression. He walked towards me leaving Nelo in M’s hand.

“Napakabuti mong tao Eury. You’re a very great leader,” he complimented. I stare at his eyes and give him a genuine smile.

“Thank you Styyx.” Pasasaan pa nga ba at naging pinuno ako? In my own view a President is not just a leader. But a father or a mother of her people.  In this corrupt country, what it needs is a leader with a heart. A leader who doesn’t only look at the country as a place to be betterment. But who look at her people as the true treasure. And these kids, they are the future of our country. Thus, they need to be guided with full morality and humanity.

“Nakausap mo si Nelo? That kid. I’m worried about him Styyx. What if he’s too broken inside?” The corner of his lips wrinkled forming into a reassuring smile together with his eyes looking at me with certainty.

“He said he’s afraid baby. He’s afraid if how will they live this life now that they don’t have their parents,” My heart sank the moment I heard Styyx’ words. I glanced at Nelo who is already holding her younger sister’s hand while they are walking towards the coffin.

“What did you say?” He coiled his arm around my waist and locked his eyes at Nelo and Minoa.

“To face his fears. Like what you told to Minoa. Don’t worry baby I will help you on guiding them. You want them to be your siblings right?” I nodded in his question. He’s really brilliant and good in observing people, that even if I didn’t tell him what I want to do with Minoa and Nelo he already figured it out.

Ilang segundo lang ay agad akong napatakbo sa kinaroroonan nila Minoa nang humagulgol s’ya ng iyak. I can feel her contagious pain gradually percolating in my system. I feel like my heart broke into pieces again.

This isn’t the first time that I saw Minoa crying. Ngunit ibang-iba pa rin ang uri ng iyak n’ya nang na sa harap na n’ya ang kabaong ng nanay n’ya. It is severe and more painful. I glanced at Nelo and he’s silently staring at the coffin. Red starts to cloak his eyeball, indicating his tears, yet he’s keeping his self on struggling to let it fall.

Styyx edge his way outside making me frown. Ngunit binalewala ko na lang ito. I pull Nelo towards us and I gently caress his face while looking intently at his red eyes.

“Hindi mo ikakahina ang umiyak Nelo. Minsan kailangan mong hayaan ang sarili mong maging mahina para matuto kang lumakas. There’s no strength without weakness Nelo,” marahan kong wika sa kan’ya, dahilan para mabilis kong maagaw ang atensyon ng mga mata n’ya. Ang kan’yang mga mata ay napako sa ‘kin, at ilang segundo lang ang lumipas ay tuluyan nang tumulo ang mga luha n’ya na pilit n’yang pinipigilan.

Agad ko s’yang niyakap kasama si Minoa. Kalong ko silang dalawa habang umiiyak sila. Ilang segundo lang ay ramdam ko na ang presensya ni Styyx. He handed me a bottle of mineral water for Minoa and Nelo. But I didn’t get the chance to take it, because of my hands are busy hugging Nelo ang Minoa while rubbing their back.

It’s a privilege for me to offer my arms and give warm to them. It’s my honor on being their cry-in-shoulder during their weakest moments. And yeah, right this moment my heart fell for them. I don’t want to see them again being like this. I don’t want this life to hurt them again like what it did right now.

I’m not just a President giving a warm hug to these kids right now. But since this moment I want to be their elder sister who’s willing to fight with them and protect them. Bagay na hindi ko naibigay sa yumao kong mga kapatid.

“Nandito lang si ate...”

————

Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa nga ba ang mas masakit. Ang makita ang mga nasasakupan kong naghihirap at labis na naapektuhan ng kalamidad? O ang makita kung gaano kasakit ang pinagdaanan nila Minoa at Nelo. They was crying last night like they’re about to lose their self.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako saka ko ipinaglandas ang kamay ko sa hawak kong papeles. Mabuti na lang at mabilis na rumesponde ang bise-presidente. Kahit papaano ay mabilis na dumating ang tulong sa mga tao.

“Ma’am naglabas po ng mensahe ang bansang China ukol sa kinalabasan ng kaso po,” Zalysha informed. I stare at her with my intrigued look.

“And?”

“They won’t recognize our authority ma’am,” marahas kong naihampas ang kamay ko sa mesa. What is this again?!

“Why?” I asked her with my furrowed brows.

“They’re insisting their nine dash line ma’am. They won’t recognize our authority in West Philippine Sea kahit pa UN na mismo ang nagsabing mas may karapatan tayo.” Ano pa nga ba ang aasahan ko? Sagana sa yaman ang karagatang inaangkin nila kaya’t malamang ay hindi nila ito ganoon kadaling isusuko.

“I want a cabinet meeting right now Zal,” mabilis s’yang tumango sa sinabi ko.

When the clock struck at 10 in the morning. The members of the cabinet gathered inside the conference hall as we began to talk about the West Philippine Sea issue.

“China stated that they won’t recognize our authority in West Philippine Sea. Well, as we all know West Philippine Sea is rich of minerals that is very useful and pricey. Infact, the sea plays a big role in the economy of our country. Malaki ang naitutulong nito sa mga mamayan natin, ang iba pa nga ay doon kinukuha ang pangunahing pangkabuhayan nila.” Panimula ko sa paksa.

“And to make the story short. West Philippine Sea is very essential and significant to our country as well as to our people. But now that a particular country is invading it and claiming it as theirs, isn’t it an act that they’re stealing our country’s dignity?” I firmly said while boldly standing infront of them. Aside from that fact, China is really known for claiming other country’s territory. Halos lahat sila ay tumango sa sinabi ko.

“What do you want us to do Ms. President?” The vice-president inquired.

“We just can’t let them invade our territory. We have to stand our ground and protect what’s ours,” I firmly answered. Kung sa katunayan nga ay kung hindi sana iyon ganoon kahirap gawin ay baka nagdeklara na ako ng gyera laban sa kanila. Ang pinaka-ayaw ko sa lahat ay ang inaangkin ang teritoryo ko.

“It was said that there are several Chinese vessels inside the sea again. So how can we protect our territory if it’s already invaded?” One of the members voiced out his opinion. Tumango ako sa sinabi n’ya. May punto naman s’ya at tama s’ya. Paano pa nga ba namin mapo-protektahan kung napasok na?

“Actually that’s the thing there. We can’t send some marines to guard the coast. It will surely ignite a war, and as much as we can, we’re trying to avoid that right?” They nodded in unison on my words.

Tanggapin ko man o hindi. But fact is fact. And the fact is mahina ang pwersa ng sandatahan sa bansa ng Pilipinas. China is known as a sleeping giant. Infact, it was rumored to replace the United States’ position. Compared to Philippines, China got there high quality munitions. They have high quality war apparatus in land, water and even in air.

Quantity will never threaten me but quality can. It’s not as if they successfully threatened me, but it’s just that, I don’t want to create a game when I know that it’s us who are disadvantageous.

“We can do nothing but to negotiate with them ma’am.” Came from the vice-president. Tumango na lang ako sa sinabi n’ya. Kahit hindi ko man gusto ay wala akong ibang magagawa kung hindi ang makipag-usap ng maayos sa presidente ng China.

And no matter how itchy my tongue is to give an order on keeping them away from our territory, I was left with no choice but to control my self. Kapag ginawa ko iyon ay malaki ang posibilidad na lalong lalaki ang gulo at madadamay ang mga nasasakupan ko. I don’t want that to happen.

A leader should be a risk taker. But before that, he/she should also know the factors of the risk. Is it great enough to create such horrible contemporary issue? Or is it sized enough to give good results at the end of the road? Afterall, it’s my country that will suffer. It’s my people that will most likely to be affected.

Kaya’t wala akong ibang magagawa kung hindi ang makipag-sundo sa bansang China. But after that, they have to make sure that whatever deal that we’ll going to agree with, they will obey it and stand on their words.

Because if not, then I will be that brave President who’s willing to to take the risks. Yes, I’m a territorial person and what’s mine stays mine.

Mine only...

|End of chapter 46|
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