That’s the thing about terrorists.

Hindi lang sila iyong mga taong na sa mga bulubunduking lugar. Dahil minsan, sila iyong mga taong may malakas na koneksyon. Mga taong may katayuan sa buhay at lipunan.

Perez is the damn founder of the terrorists’ group PPA. And that means, that Leopoldo Bato-bato lied to me. However that doesn’t matter to me anymore, as long as I know that he’s trying to build his life again.

Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na napakalapit lang pala sa ‘kin ng hustisya. Hindi ko inaakalang na sa isang tao lang pala ang lahat ng hustisyang hinihingi ko.

“Eury are you okay?” Tanong sa ‘kin ni M habang nakaratay s’ya sa isang hospital bed. Ngumiti ako sa kan’ya sabay iling.

“I should be the one asking that to you M,” she smiled at me. We’re fortunate that we are able to defeat and held Perez’ group in captivity, with the help of our individual intelligence and skills.

“I’m sorry again M for bringing you into this, nadamay pa kayo sa gulo ko,” I uttered apologetically.

“C’mon Eury we’re both into this. We’re family, gulo mo, gulo rin namin okay?” Ngumiti ako sa sinabi n’ya.

“O s’ya umalis ka na anong oras na o. You still have work right? Now go I’m fine, “ she gave me a reassuring smile. I glanced at my wristwatch and it’s already seven in the morning. Wala pa akong tulog at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin tumitila ang ulan at malakas pa rin ang ihip ng hangin. Tumango na lang ako kay M saka ngumiti bago lumabas sa kwarto n’ya.

I edged my way towards mang Erwin’s room to check on him and I found him sleeping peacefully. So I just averted my way and walk towards the room which I never want to be inside with.

“Baby where are you going?” Agad na tanong sa ‘kin ni Styyx nang magkasalubong kami. He’s carrying a box of coffee and some pancake, he handed me some but I just signalled him to put it beside and I’ll eat it later.

Hanggang ngayon ay bantay sarado n’ya pa rin ako, matapos kong basagin ang mukha ng hayop na Perez. Kung hindi lang sana sila nakialam ay baka napatay ko na ang hayop.

“I’m going to check on him,” I answered nonchalantly.

“But—“ agad ko nang pinutol ang sasabihin n’ya. Alam kong tututol na naman s’ya.

“I’m not going to do anything Styyx, I just want to check on him that’s it,” bumuntong-hininga s’ya saka tumango.

“Alright I’ll come with you,” he uttered in a persuasive manner. I just nod my head on him, to cut the further words.

Sa labas pa lang ng kwarto n’ya ay may apat na armadong sundalo na ang nagbabantay.

“How is he doc?” Tanong ko sa doctor na kakalabas pa lang mula sa kwarto n’ya.

“He’s okay now ma’am. Just some blood clot in his nose, but he’s gonna be fine,” sagot nito. Naikuyom ko na lang ang kamao ko. I gave him my best fake smile. Hindi iyon ang gusto kong marinig. I want to hear that he’s dying and nothing can help him. Styyx grab my hand before I can even reach the door knob.

“You should remain calm, maliwanag?” He reminded me. I just nod my head.

“Alright let’s go baby,” he uttered. S’ya na mismo ang nagbukas ng pinto, at sa sandaling nakita ko na ang imahe n’ya na nakaratay sa hospital bed, ay matinding pagpipigil na ang ginawa ko.

I want to run our distance and shower him with endless punches. I want to see him again coughing blood with his tragically distorted face. Hanggang ngayon ay pulang-pula pa rin ang kamao ko, at nababakas pa rito ang ilang sugat na natamo ko sa pagsuntok ko sa kan’ya.

Styyx held my hand and clutch it like he’s making sure that I won’t do anything. He never let go of my hand until we finally reach the side of Perez’ bed.

Nadatnan naming tulog si Perez. Sa kaloob-looban ko ay hinihiling ko s’yang huwag ng magising o hindi kaya’y, gusto ko s’yang sakalin hanggang hindi na s’ya makahinga pa. Pero pinigilan ko pa rin ang sarili ko. Mas gugustuhin ko s’yang makitang unti-unting nanghihina at nahihirapan.

He may be put in jail after this, but I will make sure that his life inside the cell will be more than hell. I will make him feel the pain and difficulties that I’ve gone through after he massacred my family mercilessly.

“Wake up asshole, you’re not a Señorito,” matabang kong wika habang sinisipa ko ang paanan ng hospital bed n’ya. Ilang sandali lang ay ibinuka n’ya na nga ang mga mata n’ya, at diretso itong tumama sa mga mata ko.

Nagkasukatan kami ng tingin habang nagpipigil pa rin ako sa sarili ko. Ilang segundo lang ay sarkastiko s’yang humalakhak.

“Are you laughing because you’re still alive, but you will going to live a life like hell later? Or are you laughing because you know that I’m keeping a hold on myself for desiring to kill you and burn you alive? I wonder,” I answered his laugh with my best skill in sarcasm. I can feel Styyx’ hold on my hand became even tighter. It’s like he’s telling me to calm down.

“N-none of those. Let’s say I’m laughing because you’re telling me that I’m going to live a life like hell, when the mere fact is, I’m already there. I thought you’re the bravest Lieutenant and the fearless President. But what happened? Are you scared of killing me that’s why you let me live?” My teeth gritted after hearing his words.

“Oh please shut up you fvck!” Sita sa kan’ya ni Styyx.

“Weird it may sound Mr. Perez. But it’s now one of my dreams to slit that throat of yours and burn that abominable body of yours in an infinite fire like what you did to my family. But I want to see you more dying gradually and screaming in pain,” I uttered sarcastically and with vexation evident on my voice. Pagak na halakhak ang kan’yang isinagot sa ‘kin dahilan para mapahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa kamay ni Styyx.

“Same here Ms. President. Iyon nga lang napatay ko na ang pamilya mo,” tumatawa n’yang usal. Pilit ko pa ring pinigilan ang sarili ko at pinahaba ko ang isang pulgada kong pasensya.

“Tell me Mr. Perez. Did your brain cells migrated to your ass for you to have that very shallow reason of killing my family?” Madiing tanong ko sa kan’ya. Muli ay humalakhak siya na puno ng sarkasmo.

“Paano kung tatanungin kita sa parehong tanong Ms. President? We’re on the same side. You killed my family so I killed yours. See? We’re in a fair situation,” he uttered while chuckling yet his eyes are staring sharply at me. Dito na ako hindi nakapagpigil, at mabilis akong lumundag sa ibabaw n’ya. Agad na naglakbay ang mga kamay ko sa leeg n’ya at buong pwersa s’yang sinakal.

“Fair? I can’t see any fair in that Perez! Your men deserves to die! Are you that fool that you can’t even understand it?! My family is innocent. Damn innocent! While yours? Ang mga letse mong tao na itinuturing mo ng pamilya, they deserve what I did. For fvck’s sake! Saan sa nagnanakaw sila ng kapayapaan ang hindi mo maintindihan?” Pilit s’yang nagpumiglas mula sa pagkakasakal ko ngunit wala s’yang magawa dahil nakadagan ako sa kan’ya.

“Eury that’s enough! Shit! Baby please control your temper,” rinig ko ang bawat salita na binibigkas ni Styyx. Ngunit tila ginawa akong mangmang ng galit. Ni isa nito ay wala akong naintindihan.

“Tell me, ano ang laman ng utak mo?! Are you really that air headed fool to build such kind of organization which steals peace?! At kailan man ay hindi tayo magiging magkatulad Perez. Because I have my brain! While you? You have nothing but an organ up there, filled with air! Killing my family in such brutal way will never be fair! Fvck you Perez! Fvck you!” Buong lakas kong sigaw habang hindi ko pa rin pinapakawalan ang leeg n’ya.

Ramdam ko ang paglandas ng luha ko sa pisngi ko dahil sa labis na galit at sakit. Lalo ko pang hinigpitan ang pagkakakwelyo ko sa kan’ya, pero lalo na rin akong pinigilan ni Styyx.

“Baby please… C’mon please,” bigla na lang n’ya akong niyakap saka binuhat pababa mula sa pagkakadagan ko kay Perez.

Nagpumiglas ako pero sa pagkakataong ito ay talagang ginamit na n’ya ng lakas n’ya kaya’t sa huli ay matagumpay n’ya akong naibaba. Pero ang galit na nararamdaman ko ay hindi pa rin humuhupa.

Lalong umusbong ang galit na nararamdaman ko nang pagak na tumawa si Perez kahit pa hinahabol pa n’ya ang hininga n’ya.

Muli ko na sana s’yang susugurin upang muling sakalin, ngunit buong lakas na akong pinigilan ni Styyx. He embraced me tightly, while his back is turned from Perez’ direction, it’s like he’s guarding him from me.

“Move Styyx,” maikli ngunit puno ng awtoridad kong wika. But he didn’t move. He stayed in the same position.

“Baby I can’t. Baby, please control your temper okay? C’mon please baka mapatay mo na s’ya,” mahinahon n’yang wika.

“That’s what I exactly want to do Styyx!” I retorted. But he still didn’t move. He remained hugging me with his might while I’m still refusing.

“You promised right? You promised that you won’t do anything, so please let go na baby okay?” Mahinahon n’yang wika, ramdam ko ang tinig n’yang pilit akong pinapaintindi. Isang malalim na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ko bago ako tumalikod sa gawi n’ya.

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibaba kong labi upang sa pamamagitan nu’n ay makontrol ko ang galit ko. God knows how much I want to stranglr that asshole until he’ll lose his breath, but Styyx is keeping me from doing it. Perez should be thankful of that.

“I-is that all Ms. President?” Bagama’t humahangos ay nagawa pa ring magsalita ng sarkastiko si Perez.

“Can you please shut up!? You don’t know how hard it is to tame an angry woman. You should be thankful that I’m keeping you away from your death!” Styyx uttered to Perez with his voice full of irritation.

I just balled my fists and bit my lower lip even more. I don’t want to stay any longer inside the four corners of this room. It’s just kindling the already burning fire inside me.

“Let’s go Styyx,” tipid kong tawag sa kan’ya habang hindi ko pa rin sinusulyapan ng tingin ang direksyon n’ya. I heard Styyx heave a sigh of relief.

“Alright,” he answered and coiled his arm around my waist. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong muling sulyapan si Perez. Bagama’t ramdam ko pa ang pagkulo ng dugo ko, ay pinili ko na lang kontrolin ang sarili ko.

He’s a fool, and if I’ll continue exchanging some sarcastic words against him it’ll just make me look like more than a fool. I forced a menacing smile towards him.

“Live in hell asshole!”

————

“Ma’am okay lang po ba kayo?” Asked Zalysha. I nodded my head in her question. Sumasakit pa rin ang ulo ko at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin tumitila ang malakas na buhos ng ulan. I wonder if, is there a typhoon?

“Ma’am you have to see this,” she took out her tablet and show something on me.

Umarko ang mga kilay ko nang mabasa ko ang trend sa social media. Everyone is doing a post with the hashtag asan ang Presidente?

“Last dawn nag-landfall po ang super typhoon Ulysses sa Bicol region ma’am. It was sudden and unexpected. Ngayon po ang araw na inaasahang magla-landfall ang bagyo. But It’s wind movement suddenly fastened.” I stare at her with disbelief written in my face. Bakit hindi ko alam ang tungkol dito? And seriously sa Bicol region?

“How’s the people Zal? Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi ang tungkol dito?” I carry my weight and walk towards the window.

“I’m sorry ma’am. Nagkaroon po kasi ng aberya sa PAG-ASA at kahapon lang nila na-confirm. I was about to tell you yesterday but I don’t want to ruin your day,” she uttered apologetically. I stare at her with disbelief. Is she still my secretary? What a shallow reason!

“Zal, you know that my people is more important than anything right? Now tell me, what’s the status in Bicol region?” I asked instead. I don’t have the energy anymore to scold her. What’s important for me now is to send immediate help to my people.

“It was devastated ma’am. Halos mabura na po ang rehiyon sa mapa ng Pilipinas.”

“Fvck!” Hindi ko napigilang mapamura sa narinig ko. For fvck’s sake! Kagagaling lang sa kalamidad ang rehiyon ng Bicol tapos may bago na naman? Ganoon na ba talaga kama-kasalanan ang mga tao sa Bicol? Para gayon na lang sila parusahan ng nasa Itaas?

“Prepare the chopper Zal, I’m going,” I said rigidly with my eyes locked in the raindrops outside. Shit! How can I fly to Bicol with this kind of weather?

“But ma’am it’s still raining. It’s not safe for you to fly in this kind of weather. Besides the vice-president was there na ma’am,” I expected her words.

“Ask the pilot if he can handle this kind of weather. I need to go to Bicol Zal. I just can’t stand here knowing that my people needs help.”

“Yes ma’am,” she answered before leaving.

Naikuyom ko na lang ang kamao ko. What if Perez didn’t kidnap my family? Maybe I did know about this, and maybe I could send immediate response into this. Mabuti n lang at naroon na ang bise-presidente.

Muling bumalik sa isip ko ang mga post sa social media. Naging pabaya na nga ba talaga ako para ganoon na lang nila ako hanapin? This is what I really hate in bandwagon mentality. Kung ano iyong napapanahon ay sasakyan, hindi man lang inisip kung ano ang mga factors.

I took out my phone and decided to open my social media account. I heave a sigh of disbelief when hashtag posts flood my wall. I stalked some person who did the same post. And for fvck’s sake! They are not even affected by the calamity.

Malayong-malayo ang lugar nila sa pinangyarihan ng kalamidad tapos ganoon na lang sila kung makapagsalita? They’re asking where I am, of course I’m in the Malacańang! And besides I don’t know about this. Hindi ko alam na may nangyayari na pa lang kalamidad habang inililigtas ko ang pamilya ko.

Indeed nature is adventitious. You don’t know if when it’ll lose its grip on it’s ferocious revenge. A revenge for those air headed people. And the sad part in there is that, it don’t give an exemption. It’ll avenge to everyone, even on those innocent people.

“Ma’am hindi daw po kaya. Saka na lang daw po kapag humina-hina na ang ulan,” Zalysha informed when she found her way back to my office.

My disappointments formed into a sigh. I want to go now. I want to extend my hand and help my people. It’s damn frustrating that I’m just standing here and my people there, are suffering.

“Alright,” I answered in conserve.

When I finally saw aperture of light drawn in the sky, and when the clouds of rain finally keep a hold of it’s self for a moment, I hurriedly went to the chopper and ordered the pilot to fly.

The humidity in the air is visible and tangible while we are flying towards Bicol region. I can barely feel the soft breeze of the air embracing my skin, and the coldness of the mist as it kiss the hair on my arms and face.

The moment our chopper reached the atmosphere of Bicol region, my heart sank on the horrible sight. The place were devastated. The water became every house’s roof. And land became invisible. The whole region were cloaked with vague body of waters.

Sinuyod namin ang buong sulok ng Bicol region sa pamamagitan ng paglipad sa himpapawid. At wala iyong ibang idinulot sa ‘kin kung hindi panghihina. Tila dinaig pa nito ang kinalabasan ng isang digmaan. Ang mga bahay na ipinatayo ko upang tulungan ang mga taong naapektuhan ng mapaminsalang lindol ay tila bula na naglaho.

Nagkalat sa bawat sulok ng Bicol region ang mga rescuer. Ang ibang mga alagang hayop ay na sa bubong na ng mga bahay. Everything is damn heartbreaking. Paano na lang kaya ang mga tao rito? Sunod-sunod na sakuna ang tumama sa rehiyon nila at hindi man lang sila binigyan ng pagkakataon nitong bumangon.

I veered my eyes on the surrounding with the heavy burden in my heart. My eyes widened the moment my eyes landed on the roof of a particular house.

There were kids standing at there and waving there hands. I immediately ordered the pilot to lower it’s fly and get closer to the said house. At nang sandaling naaninag ko kung sino ang dalawang batang nakatayo sa ibabaw ng bubong ay lalong nadurog ang puso ko.

Minoa.. Nelo...

“Spread the stair I’m going down,” utos ko sa kanila. Sa aming tatlo ay ako ang may kakayahan na bumaba at iligtas ang dalawang bata sa papataas na tubig. Dahil hindi naman pwedeng iwan ng dalawang piloto ang pwesto nila.

Confusion was immediately drawn on their faces. But I stare at their eyes, showing my authority and determination.

“But ma’am it’s risky,” one of the pilot got his guts and voiced out his opinion.

“Spread the stare, and I’ll go down. That’s an order!” Napabuntong-hininga silang dalawa at walang napagpilian kung hindi ang sundin ang sinabi ko.

Maingat akong bumaba mula sa hagdan, lalo na’t panay pa rin ang pag-ihip ng hangin. Tumila na ang ulan pero ang tubig ay patuloy pa ring tumataas at hindi malabong maabot nito ang lokasyon nila Minoa.

The moment my feet landed on the rusty surface of the roof, I immediately ran towards the kids and embraced them tightly. They were shivering in cold and their clothes are so wet.

The little girl Minoa were crying, while his elder brother Nelo remained silent.

“A-ate Eury...” Umiiyak na wika ni Minoa.

Hindi ko alam kung saan nagmumula ang mga luha n’ya, dahil ba sa takot? O lungkot? Maaari ring pinaghalo. Niyakap ko na lang s’ya nang mahigpit, habang patuloy ang pagtulo ng luha n’ya.

“Wala na po si n-nanay ate Eury,” wika n’ya at dito na s’ya tuluyang napahagulgol.

Sinulyapan ko si Nelo at hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko ang pagtakas ng luha n’ya, habang malayo ang kan’yang tingin. Pilit kong pinigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. I can imagine my younger siblings on their state. Ganito rin kaya natakot at umiyak ang mga kapatid ko bago sila pinatay?

“A-ate...” Her sobs keeps her from augmenting her words.

“Shhh... Nandito lang ako para sa inyo,” I tried to force a smile. A smile of sympathy. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganoon na lang kagaan ang loob ko sa kanila, marahil ay dahil sa nakikita ko ang mga nakakabata kong kapatid sa kanila.

“Ma’am we need to go! Papalakas na po ang hangin,” tawag sa ‘kin ng isang piloto. Tumango ako sa kanila bilang sagot.

“Nasaan ang tatay n’yo?” Naguguluhang tanong ko sa kanila. Bakit tila pinabayaan sila ng kanilang ama?

“Wala na po si tatay matagal na,” Nelo answered.  I averted my eyes on him. He’s always that quite and seems like lost in his own world. Napaka-mature n’ya kung tingnan.

Compassion crept in my system. They were now an orphan—like me...

“Makinig kayo sa ‘kin Nelo at Minoa. Kailangan na nating umalis okay? Hindi magtatagal ay lalamunin na ng tubig ang bahay na ito,” marahang wika ko sa kanila.

I understand their situation. I know that they’re at their weakest point right now but we need to move. Soon the water will reach us, and the blow of the air, it’s getting stronger and faster.

“P-po paano po si nanay?” Umiiyak pa ring tanong ni Minoa. Gusto kong tanungin kung nasaan ang katawan ng nanay nila, pero alam kong masyado iyong sensitibo.

“Hindi tayo aalis hangga’t hindi darating ang mga rescuer okay? Kukunin nila ang nanay niyo,” paliwanag ko na lang sa kan’ya. I immediately grabbed my phone and called some rescuer, and minutes after they’re here.

“S-sasama po ako kay nanay ate,” umiiyak na wika ni Minoa habang tinatanaw ang mga rescuer na kinukuha ang katawan ng kanilang ina. Their mother was drowned for saving them. Indeed, a mother will always be a hero.

Niyakap ko na lang si Minoa. I glanced at Nelo and he’s still not in his self, he’s just staring at the rescuers while carrying their mother’s body.

“Ma’am,” muling pagtawag sa ‘kin ng isang piloto.

“May pamilya ba kayo rito Nelo?” I asked the elder one. He glanced at me and shook his head side to side as a response.

“Nelo, Minoa, sasama muna kayo kay ate okay? Huwag kayong mag-alala ako na ang bahala sa nanay n’yo. Ngayon kailangan na nating umalis, pwede ba ‘yon?” Marahan kong wika sa kanila. Minoa’s brows wrinkled forming into a furrow while Nelo looked at me with disbelief.

“Kasama rin po ba sa responsibilidad n’yo ang ginagawa n’yo ngayon?” Nelo asked skeptically. I nodded my head at him.

“Now let’s go. It’s not safe here.” Agad ko nang binuhat si Minoa. Alam kong mahirap sa kan’yang iwan ang kanilang ina pansamantala. But they have to.

“A-ayaw ko po! G-gusto k-ko po kay nanay!” Pagtanggi ni Minoa. Nagpumiglas s’ya mula sa yakap ko at pilit na bumabalik sa pinanggalingan n’ya. Nelo began to walk towards her.

Compared to an ordinary boy at ten. Nelo looks more mature and strong, he’s not showing his tears to her younger sister. And I can understand him.

When you’re the elder one, you must always be a role model to your younger siblings. The elder one tends to show that they’re strong and unmovable.

“Minoa sabi ni ate Eury babalik naman daw tayo, kailangan lang natin umalis dahil hindi na ligtas dito,” muli akong humanga sa sinabi ni Nelo. Sa mura n’yang edad ay napakadali na n’yang naintindihan ang mga bagay-bagay. Sinabi n’ya ang mga katagang iyon na tila ba hindi s’ya nasasaktan.

Mabilis na akong kumilos at binuhat ko na ang nagpupumiglas pa rin na si Minoa. Binabaan ng piloto ang lipad ng chopper upang hindi na kailangang dumaan pa kami sa hagdan dahil mahihirapan akong pa-akyatin si Minoa. Agad ko nang binuhat si Nelo saka ako sumampa.

Minoa were still crying while staring at the devastated place which is now covered with vague water. I can’t help but to feel the tightening in my chest.

Pinili ko na lang s’yang yakapin upang kahit papaano ay maramdaman n’yang hindi s’ya nag-iisa. Losing your love one will never be that easy, you need to go through endless needles of pain.

“A-ate...” Lalo ko s’yang niyakap at hinalikan ko ang tuktok ng ulo n’ya. Hindi s’ya tumitigil sa pag-iyak kaya’t naisipan kong sabihin na lang sa kan’ya ang mga salitang paulit-ulit kong narinig noong nawala ang pamilya ko.

I hold her both shoulders and stare at her teary eyes intently.

“Naiintindihan kita Minoa. Naiintindihan ka ni ate dahil dumaan din ako sa ganyan. Nawalan din ako ng pamilya at napakasakit nun, napakasakit... Pero tingnan mo si ate ngayon. Heto pa rin ako at patuloy na lumalaban hindi ba? Malalampasan n’yo rin iyan, matuto kayong tumayo sa sarili n’yong mga paa. Gamitin n’yo ang mga trahedyang nangyari sa buhay n’yo upang gawing sandata.” Marahan kong wika sa kan’ya habang hinahaplos ko ang ulo niya.

“Tingnan mo si kuya Nelo mo. Hindi s’ya umiiyak kagaya sa ‘yo hindi ba?” Sabay kaming bumaling nang tingin sa tahimik n’yang kuya. Alam kong nasasaktan din si Nelo pero pinili n’yang magmukhang malakas para sa kapatid.

“H-hindi ka po lungkot kuya Nelo?” Inosenteng tanong ni Minoa.

“Syempre nalulungkot din si kuya Nelo mo. Pero pinili n’yang palakasin ang sarili n’ya at pinili n’yang tanggapin ang mga nangyari,” ako na ang sumagot. Sinulyapan ko si Nelo at kasalukuyang malayo pa rin ang tanaw n’ya.

“Alam mo kasi Minoa hindi nawawala sa buhay ang trahedya, ang kailangan lang natin gawin ay tanggapin ito at muling tumayo. Tandaan mo ito Minoa. Kahit ilang trahedya man ang magpadapa sa ‘yo ay sikapin mo pa ring bumangon okay? Kailangan mong maging matapang at matatag. Huwag kang papatalo sa buhay. You have to be brave and strong Minoa, only the weaklings don’t know how to face the tragedies in life,” I patted her head and kissed her forehead. Unti-unti ay tumitigil na s’ya sa pag-iyak. Alam kong malabo pa’ng naintindihan n’ya ang lahat ng sinabi ko. Pero umaasa akong balang araw ay matatandaan at maiintindihan n’ya na ito.

I have faced too much tragedies in life. I have seen different images. From hope to destruction, from love to pain, and from happiness to sadness.

But still, here I am, still breathing and fighting...

|End of chapter 44|
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