I let the chirpings of the crickets envelope my ears while the moonlight were gently bathing my body. I heave a sigh and nail my hands at the surface of the terrace’s barricade.

Jolo and Sulu are at peace now. The military troops successfully keep a hold of those terrorists. But I still can’t help but to think if what if? It became more worse than what happened? What if huge numbers of casualty are recorded? Will this soul of mine can still bare all my failures?

Hinayaan ko na lang ang sarili kong malunod sa mga isipin. Ngunit nakatanggap naman ako ng isang tawag mula sa Heneral na may berdeng mga mata kaya’t ganoon na lamang ang mabilis na pag-iba ng emosyon ko.

Alam kong sinusubukan n’yang pagaanin ang loob ko, at nagtagumpay naman s’ya nang minsang kumawala ang mga totoong ngiti sa aking labi. Naiisip ko tuloy, kung paano kung wala s’ya sa aking tabi?

What if I don’t have a General like him? Magagawa ko pa kayang i-ahon ang sarili ko mula sa nakaraan at sa mga lungkot at pagsisisi sa sarili na naramdaman ko?

Magagawa ko pa kayang ngumiti nang tunay, at masilayan ang totoong ganda ng Pilipinas? What if I don’t have him? Can I still extend my fragile hand to those who need some to hold with?  Marahil ay hindi...

Hanggang ngayon ay tinatanong ko pa rin ang sarili ko kung paano ko nga ba nakuha ang atensyon ng Heneral na may berdeng mga mata? Gayong naiiba ako sa mga karaniwang babae.

I’m not that feminine and hot. I don’t wear sexy clothes that will surely attract men. I don’t do make-ups and I don’t even know how to tie my hair in a sophisticated and elegant way.

I’m just a simple woman who prefer holding guns while trying to show that humanity still exist. Than holding a handbag with thick make-up, and glistening stilettoes while walking in the red carpet with the spotlight nailed on my direction.

I’m just a woman with desires to serve justice and make this country a better place. Yet the handsome and hottest green-eyed General fell on my pit without me premedetating a trap for him.

Kinabukasan ay maaga akong pumasok upang dumalo sa isang cabinet meeting. At umikot ang usapan tungkol sa nangyari sa Jolo at Sulu kahapon ngunit nang papatapos na ang pagpupulong ay bigla na lamang inanunsyo ng isang senador ang tungkol sa mga na-detect na mga Chinese vessel sa loob ng West Philippine Sea.

I carried my weight and stood boldly while nailing my hands at the table’s surface. I can’t help the frowning of my brows.

“It was detected few months ago. Ayon pa nga sa Philippine coast guard at ng iilang Pilipinong mangingisda ay itinataboy sila ng mga Tsino. Hindi rin sila hinahayaang makahuli ng isda,” came from Senator Escuber. I want to cuss out of asphyxiation overwhelming my system.

“Bakit ngayon mo lamang ito sinabi? Ilang buwan na ang nakalipas?” Pilit kong pinapakalma ang boses ko ngunit hindi ko pa rin maitago ang nararamdaman kong inis.

Nahawaan na ba sila ng mga taong hangin ang laman sa utak kaya’t sa simula pa lang nito ay hindi na nila sinabi? At ngayon pa na kung saan tumagal na ito ng ilang buwan? Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako saka muling bumalik sa pagkakaupo.

“It began during the past administration. It was 7 months ago,” he explained. Gusto ko s’yang pabalang na sagutin. Ngunit pinigilan ko ang sarili ko.

“Did the former President know about this?” He shook his head.

“Fvck!” Hindi ko na napigilan pa at kusa na lamang kumawala ang mahinang mura kong iyon. Ngunit hindi ko na inabala pa ang sarili kong humingi ng despensa.

“Ayon sa nakakataas ng Philippine coast guard ay nag-aalalangan silang isapubliko ito. They thought they could keep a hold on those Chinese vessels, they don’t want the citizens to be enthralled with this kind of issue.” I want to laugh sarcastically and tell them if what’s the point that they are trying to convey? When the fact is that, all they did is pointless!

Isang folder ang lumapag sa harap naming lahat. Sabay-sabay namin itong binuksan at naglalaman ito ng mga kopya ng mga kuha ng mga Chinese vessels na namamalagi sa west Philippine sea. Hindi lang tatlo ang bilang nito kung hindi ay apat hanggang lima. At bihira din ang laki nito.

“What’s the situation senator? Na sa loob pa rin ba ng West Philippine Sea ang mga Chinese vessel na ito?” Tumango s’ya sa sinabi ko, dahilan para maikuyom ko ang mga kamao ko.

“And don’t you have any plans regarding to this?” Tanong ko sa mga myembro ng kabinete na kanina pa tahimik.

“Kinausap at pinaalis na po sila ng Philippine coast guard ngunit hindi po sila nakinig,” dagdag pa ni Senator Escuber. Hindi na ako nagulat pa kung bakit ganoon na lang ang mga Tsino pagdating sa West Philippine Sea. West Philippine sea is rich with oils and crudes. There’s a lot of minerals on it.

“Okay that’s it. I’ll talk to their President tomorrow. Adjourn,” I said firmly and edged my way out of the conference room. Afterwards, I commanded Zalysha to set an appointment with the China’s President.

What they’re doing is very wrong. West Philippine Sea is Philippines’ territory and getting minerals from it without informing us is an act of invasion.

“Ma’am tomorrow at 6 in the morning you’ll be flying to China,” tumango ako sa sinabi n’ya.

“S’ya nga pala ma’am here’s the update for the case of that police,” wika n’ya saka inilapag sa mesa ang isang folder. I grabbef it and began to wander on it. Kusa na lang akong napangiti. The investigation is done, and he’s proven guilty.

“Na sa Muntinlupa na po s’ya ma’am,” tumango ako sa sinabi n’ya. The victims’ family will be surely happy on this.

“Alright, I want him to fully pay his debt Zal. He killed two persons. Isn’t that inhumane? Tell the authorities Zal, I’ll give him the death penalty,” I firmly said. Hindi nababakas sa boses ko ang kahit na anong emosyon. Yes I do help people but I can be heartless sometimes.

I once said it before that after the further investigations on his case. If he’s proven guilty, then he needs to suffer the death penalty. And I’ll stand on my ground no matter what. Hindi ako pinalaki ng mga magulang ko na walang paninindigan.

“Are you sure on this ma’am?” Nag-aalangan n’yang tugon. Tumango ako sa kan’ya habang pinapaikot sa daliri ko ang hawak kong pluma.

“Yes,” I answered firmly.

“But the Commission on Human Rights will surely oppose you on this ma’am. This will create a huge issue,” hindi na ako nagulat pa sa sinabi n’ya. I’m aware of the consequences. I’m aware that the CHRÑ will meddle on this. But the hell with human rights! He killed those victims brutally, and that was beyond inhumane. And where’s the human rights on that? He fvckin’ deserve to die!

“I don’t care about that Zal. Wala akong pakialam kung ano pa man ang gawin nila ukol sa desisyon ko. As long as the justice is served evenly,” marahas kong naibagsak ang kamay ko sa mesa.

I have seen the agony in mang Emilio’s eyes. I have seen how devastated he is as well as his family. And I know how it feels if you won’t get the justice that you desire. I promised to him that I will give him the justice that his son and wife deserves. And this is how I serve justice. I want it to be even. That damn police killed mang Emilio’s son and wife. Thus, he deserves to suffer the ferocity of the beautiful lie in life—death.

“Electrocute him,” I said firmly. Agad na gumuhit ang pagtataka sa ekspresyon n’ya gayong wala namang kaibahan sa ibig-sabihin ng sinabi ko kanina ang naging tugon ko ngayon.

“But ma’am ---“ I cutted her words off. My decision was fixed.

“No but’s Zal. I ordered electrocution for him that’s it. Can you please bring me some tea?” She hesitantly nodded and edged her way towards my office’s door.

Inabala ko ang sarili ko sa pagpipirma at pagbabasa ng mga papeles, nang magsimulang tumutol ang emosyon ko sa desisyon ko. Ayaw kong maging mahina. I don’t want to be that weak in giving a fair justice.

Nang makabalik si Zalysha ay agad na akong sumenyas sa kan’ya na isapubliko na ang iniutos ko. Buntong-hininga lang ang isinagot niya. I let the tea bath my throat while my hands are grabbing my laptop.

I am not done yet...

I let my fingertips land on the keyboard’s surface as I began to trace all the Perez’ property. I know that the facility which Detective Chlonan said will give me worthy and valuable evidences. He died for it, so perhaps that facility is that is how important.

After hours of finding, I heave a sigh when I found none. Several houses and restaurant is all I found in the Perez’ property. Buntong-hininga kong isinilid na lang ang laptop ko at itinuon ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa pagbabasa at pagpipirma ng mga papeles.

Mahahanap ko rin ang pasilidad na iyon... I will find justice no matter what happens. I won’t give up on seeking it.

————

Papalubog na ang araw nang matapos ako sa lahat ng ginagawa ko sa opisina. Kumausap ng iilang mga personalidad, nagbasa at nagpirma ng mga papeles.

I stretched my back together with my knuckles. The crackling sound of it gives pleasure in my ears. I took out the photo of Mr. Perez’ integration towards the PPAs, from my bag and stare at it.

This is just a picture... This will never be an enough evidence. Dahil maaaring hanapan n’ya lang ito ng butas. Ngunit ano pa ang mga ebidensya na maaari kong mahanap? Gayong ang pasilidad na lamang ang natitira kong inaasahan, ngunit hindi ko naman ito mahanap. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako.

Kahit anong lakas ng impluwensiya’ng meron ako ay hindi pa rin ganoon kabilis makamtan ang hustisya. Ngunit ang impluwensiya’ng tinataglay ko ay wala rin namang halaga dahil pinili kong kumilos mag-isa.

“Good evening baby,” Styyx abruptly greeted me when he arrived at my office. He walked towards my direction and rewarded me a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes for a while feeling the sensation that it gave. And as expected my tired mind and body found a temporary peace, and rest. This is how powerful Styyx in me. He’s the only one who can calm me and give me rest.

“Are you done? Let’s go?” Anyaya n’ya. Tumango na lang ako saka marahang ngumiti. S’ya na mismo ang nagdala ng laptop at ibang mga gamit ko. Nang makasalubong namin sina Emmanuel at Erick sa labas ay sinabihan ko na lang sila na ihatid na lang si Zalysha dahil hindi pa naman ito nakakabili ng sasakyan.

“Exhausted?” He asked while starting the car. I shook my head as a response. Pagod na pagod ako kanina ngunit sa halik at presensya n’ya lang ay unti-unti nang nawala ang pagod ko.

“Baby can I kiss you? You just look so beautiful,” I let out a soft chuckle in his words. He seem so serious in his words.

“Damn!” Hindi na ako umilag pa nang mabilis n’yang tinanggal ang seatbelt n’ya saka inilapit ang mukha sa mukha ko. Napangiti ako nang naglapat ang aming mga labi. Those lips of him, I won’t get tired of kissing those...

“You’re so beautiful baby,” he said in astonishment after our lips departed.

“Oh?” I answered in disbelief. Kahit pa madalas ko naman iyong marinig mula sa kan’ya. Nakakatuwa at tila lahat ng mga matatamis n’yang salita maging ang kan’yang kilos ay tila estranghero pa rin sa aking sistema.

Inakala ko noon ay nasanay na ako sa kan’ya, ngunit niloloko ko lamang ang sarili ko dahil sa bawat matatamis na salitang naririnig ko mula sa kan’ya at sa mga pagkilos n’ya ay nagugulat at humahanga pa rin ako.

“I’m so lucky baby! Why shall I seek for those sophisticated women out there when I have you, beautiful in her own simple way. And I will never look at those models out there, because I have you the hottest and sexiest President. I love you so much baby,” he smiled at me and kissed my hands.

“I do too baby, now drive.” His smile turned into a pout followed by his murmurings. I just let out a soft chuckle and stare at him while maneuvering the car’s steering wheel.

“Baby I heard from my comrades earlier that you want to electrocute that no longer a police man?” Saglit n’ya akong binalingan ng tingin bago muling ibalik ang tingin sa daan.

“Yeah,” I answered nonchalantly.

“Are you sure on it?” Nagtataka n’yang wika. Tumango na lang ako sa kan’ya bilang sagot.

“But isn’t that too cruel baby?” My brows furrowed when I heard his voice.

“Cruel than how that damn officer killed mang Emilio’s son and wife?” I answered to sound sarcastic.

“That’s not what I mean baby,” he uttered apologetically.

“Just drive Styyx, I don’t want this to go further,” marahang wika ko saka ibinaling ang paningin ko sa labas. I don’t want to start an argument with him.

“That’s why I love you baby,” wika n’ya saka hinagilap ang kamay ko at masuyong hinalikan ito.

“I’ll fly to China tomorrow,” Pag-iiba ko sa usapan.

“Oh?” Nakangiti n’yang wika.

“And you’re not coming,” madiing dagdag ko, lalo na’t alam ko na ang tumatakbo sa isip niya.

“But baby I want to. I can’t let you go alone without me,” at kagaya nga nang inaasahan ko ay agad na naman s’yang nagdahilan. I know he’s thinking about what happened in Vietnam last time. But I can’t let him go with me.

“You have responsibilities here Styyx,” ma-awtoridad kong wika. Bumuntong-hininga s’ya bago muling magsalita.

“But what if that w—“ I immediately cutted his words off, after figuring out what he’ll try to say. I was right,  he’s thinking about what happened in Vietnam.

“I’ll be safe baby. Infact I can handle myself. You don’t need to worry, nothing will happen alright?” Paniniguro ko sa kan’ya. Napipilitan s’yang tumango na lamang.

“You’ll stay here and conduct some operation, hunt those terrorists down General,” I uttered firmly.

“Sigurado ka?” Tumango ako sa sinabi n’ya. Ngayong alam ko ng kasabwat ni Mr. Perez ang mga taga-PPA, ay marahil sapat na ang pinalampas kong isa. Wala na akong muling palalayain pa.

“It will be my pleasure baby, we already got some leads,” he smiled at me vigorously. Napatitig na lang ako sa kan’ya matapos marinig ang sinabi n’ya. Is this really how advance he is? Yung tipong wala pa man akong sinasabi pero kumikilos na s’ya. He’s unbelievable!

“Do you think I can lead this country well Styyx?” I inquired instead when the idea crossed my mind.

“Hey, don’t say that baby, of course you will. Look you’re one of a kind President okay? I’m always here to hold your hand, “ he answered sweetly. I smiled at him genuinely.

“Thank you,” nginitian niya ‘ko sabay kindat. Dahilan para lalo s’yang gumwapo.

“You’re the best President baby. You’re a woman with principles, just and dignity. That’s why I love you so much...”

|End of chapter 38|
•Please don't forget to vote and comment <3•

(A/N): Disclaimer po ito. So whatever opinions aforesaid inside this chapter, it will remain in the world of fiction only. Ang opinion na meron ang bida ay sadyang isinulat upang maipagpatuloy ang storya, at wala itong kinalaman sa personal na pananaw ng nagsulat. Because I know that we don't have the right to judge someone's death, and the reason that he brutally killed a person is still not enough. Wala po tayong karapatan na husgahan ang isang tao kahit pa gaano man kalaki ang kasalanan n'ya, ipaubaya na lang po natin sa Diyos. :)