Marahas akong napatayo kasabay nang pagkawala nang malulutong kong mura nang pinutol n’ya ang linya. Sinubukan ko muli itong ikonekta ngunit hindi na. Tila pinatay o sinira n’ya na ang Walkie Talkie.

Fear slowly cloaked my system. She can’t be there. She can’t...

“What happened?” M inquired with a worried look, while holding a record book.

“I need to find her. Damn that friend of yours M! She’s being herself again!” I uttered with my voice shaking in fear. I’m afraid that she’s being that stubborn and heroic woman again. Oh no you can’t do that to me baby...

“What?” Gulat na wika ni M. She knows her friend more than I do, and I’m sure she know what I mean when I said that Eury is being herself again.

“You gotta move Stinks. Stop her,” I immediately edged my way towards the exit of the hospital. My eyes automatically veered on the surrounding looking for the chopper and when I saw the pilot smoking, I immediately drag him towards the chopper’s control wheel.

“This is urgent. Let’s go to the base!” Agad s’yang tumango saka sinimulang paliparin ang chopper.

While I am inside the chopper I can’t help but to feel the loud and fast pounding of my heart. It’s like it’s going to explode. Pakiramdam ko ay naulit muli ang kabang naramdaman ko noong na sa Vietnam s’ya.

I know my fiancé too well. I know how she thinks. I know how frustration can easily keep a hold of her. I know that her principles can drag her either to her victory or to her downfall.

Fvck! I shouldn’t allow that damn Chinese soldier to got me. Maybe I was able to get back with my men, and maybe Eury won’t be there in the battlefield. Hindi ko mapapatawad ang sarili ko kung sakaling may mangyaring masama sa kan’ya. I swear I’ll loose my sanity.

Oh God please...

Confusion hit me when we reached the base. The aircrafts are already flying, the marines and army are already busy preparing their self for the war. But why the heck there are already aircrafts? And the mother plane, it carries the largest bomb so why the heck it is used now? Ang lahat ng eroplano ay patungo na sa direksyon kung saan nakatalaga ang battlefield.

The moment the chopper landed, I immediately find my way towards the office. Sumaludo sa ‘kin ang mga sundalong nakakasalubong ko habang hawak nila sa kanilang mga kamay ang kanilang mga baril, kumpleto na rin ang kanilang kasuotan pandigma.

“WHERE IS THE PRESIDENT?!” My voice thundered around the four corners of the office. I caught everyone’s look of hesitation and shock.

“General,” my upper called me in a soothing voice.

There’s something in his eyes that adds the confusion I feel, and it gives me some clues of what’s going on. But I could hardly accept those.

“Where the fvck is the President? Answer my damn question everyone!” I stare at them with authority. Hindi ko na inalintana ang katotohanang kaharap ko ngayon ang opisyal na s’yang may pinakamataas na ranggo sa larangan ng sandatahan.

“Tone down your voice General, you’re talking to your upper!” He warned me with his usual voice full of authority, but it didn’t bother me. The hell with his position! I’m asking where is my fiancé now!

“Just answer my damn question sir. WHERE IS MY FIANCÉ!?” I retorted. Bigla n’yang inalis ang tingin mula sa ‘kin. Tinitigan ko ang lahat ng naroon. Hanggang dumako ang tingin ko kay Espana, nakatingin siya sa ‘kin ngunit nang tumama ang paningin ko sa kan’ya ay agad s’yang tumungo.

“WHAT THE FVCK IS GOING ON? Why is the Air Force out there and carrying the end game bomb? Please tell me what’s happening and tell me where my FIANCÉ is!?” puno ng diin kong wika. Ang kaninang hinala ko ay lalong nadagdagan. Simple lang naman ang tinatanong ko ngunit bakit tila ganoon kahirap para sa kanilang sagutin ito?

“Espana,” I called him with my voice laced with authority. Sa lahat ng narito ay s’ya iyong nakasama na si Eury sa isang misyon. It’s not impossible that he might know where is Eury. I’m sure that she was been here.

“S-sir...” I waited for him to continue his words, but he just heave a sigh. My upper took the glory of augmenting his words.

“The President found the enemy’s hideout a---“ I immediately cutted off his words.

“What!? The President? The fvck! How? It’s not her duty!” Marahas na naglandas ang mga kamay ko sa buhok ko. Am I really right?

“She ordered us to bomb her location.” Tila isang senyales ang idinagdag n’ya para agad kong takbuhin ang distansya namin. My hands immediately grab his uniform’s collar and forcefully strangle him through it. I stare at him with my eyes killing him and with my gritted teeth. I can’t even feel the threat of the guns already pointing at me now.

“How dare you! Get off your hands!” He commanded while catching his breath.

“HOW STUPID ARE YOU!? SHE’S THE FREAKING PRESIDENT AND YOU OBEYED HER DAMN ORDER OF BOMBING HER LOCATION?! YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! A STUPID IDIOT OFFICIAL!” I gasped some air after letting out those words. I can feel the burning madness inside me. I want to damn kill him right now. But I know this isn’t the right time. I need to get my fiancé out from her stupidities. Eury baby why you have to be like this?

“Mark my words idiot. If I won’t find my fiancé, you should better go run and hide. I will hunt you and kill you. I’m willing to give up my position and my license as long as I can kill you.” I uttered with my words full of emphrensy. With that, I left the room with everyone staring at me with disbelief. But I chose not to mind it and immediately take my way towards the aircrafts.

Ang iba ay nakalipad na at iisa na lang ang naiwan. Agad akong sumampa rito, hindi ko na inalintana ang sigaw sa ‘kin ng piloto nito. You can harm everyone but not my family, not my love ones, and mostly not my fiancé.

With raging madness and fear I successfully took a take off and made the aircraft fly beneath the sky of uncertainty. The others are flying to fight and drop some bombs. But me, I’m flying to save my woman.

Wait for me baby. I’m coming... Please hold on..

I turned on my radio and connect it to the other planes while looking at the RADAR. The mother plane is encircled with the other small aircrafts.

“This is General Andervano from the Philippine Army currently flying with the FA-50PH FIGHTING EAGLE commanding the pilot of the mother plane to not drop the bomb.” I uttered in the radio. Due to my kilometers of distance from the other aircrafts, some glitches occurred on the radio’s line.

I cursed when I saw the battlefield about a kilometer away from us. I pushed the button and fired at the Chinese soldiers who are aiming at our planes. The other pilots did it too.

Ilang minuto lang ay may mga nagsidatingan na ring mga sundalo mula sa panig namin upang labanan sila. This is not part of the plan. Air Force should be our last card. But here they are, joining the war. And here is me flying with a freaking plane.

It took me minutes in firing before my attention went on the RADAR. Shit!  The mother plane is already kilometers away from me. I can’t help but to feel confusion if why is the mother plane didn’t stop on the battlefield?

Agad ko itong sinundan. Ang paparating na umaga ay nakatulong upang mapadali ang paglipad ko sa himpapawid. I’m not used to making an aircraft fly but I still know how to. Well, whether I know or not I will still make this damn aircraft fly to fetch my fiancé.

I turned on my radio again. And I can barely hear the conversations of the pilots now. I cursed when I heard them planning to bomb the Chinese’s hideout.

“This is General Andervano from the Philippine Army currently flying with the FA-50PH FIGHTING EAGLE commanding the pilot of the mother plane to not drop the bomb!” I yelled over the radio.

I know this isn’t my field. Making an aircraft fly is not my thing. I vowed for a fight in the land and not in the air. But I don’t care about it now. I need to freaking save my damn stubborn fiancé.

Lalo akong napamura nang matanaw ko ang bangin ilang kilometro lang ang layo mula sa ‘kin. Sumilay ang pag-asa sa sistema ko nang mapagtanto kong marahil ay ito na ang hideout na sinasabi nila. Kung titingnan ay isa lang itong parte ng bangin. The roof of their hideout were camouflaged into the rocks color.

With a smile of hope that my baby is inside, I immediately made a dive and flew faster towards the spot but I was chagrinned when the front side of the roof camouflaged into rock suddenly explode.

Sinundan pa ito ng isa pang pagsabog. Hindi ito nagmumula sa mga aircraft kung hindi ay sa mismong loob ito nanggaling fear and nervousness began to cloak my system.

“I’m here baby. I’m here fighting,”

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa metal nang muling nagbalik sa isip ko ang mga katagang binitawan n’ya. Is this what you mean on your words fighting baby? Finding the enemy’s hideout and keep a hold of them without even thinking the consequences? Or you already accepted it’s consequences?

“Baby will I be selfish if I tell you that at least be a coward sometimes?” I know she can’t hear me but I’m hoping. I’m hoping that the cold breeze of the dawn’s air will whisper my words on her ears.

I’m hoping that she’s safe amidst the devastated front part of the hideout. I’m hoping that she’s just in a corner and covering her ears while crying and praying that I will come and get her. I’m hoping that she’s calling my name right now and begging for me to save her and protect her.

But I will be a fool if I’ll believe that she’s really doing those now. Because I knew her. She’s that woman who can stand on her own. The woman who can protect herself and fight. She’s the woman with a strong ground on her principles. And she’s brave. Brave enough to have the courage of leaving me.

This is the difficult part of loving a woman who knows how to fight, and who can stand on her own. And a woman who’s independent. There’s always a great possibility that she will be used to in fighting alone, that she will forget my existence in her life. And that’s what I fear the most. But she won’t. I will never allow her. Baby you can’t. You can’t do this to me.

“WHAT THE FVCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? STOP DROPPING THIS BULLSHIT BOMBS! YOUR PRESIDENT IS IN THE INSIDE!” Nanggagalaiti kong sigaw nang inilaglag ng isang eroplano ang dala nitong bomba sa kaliwang bahagi. Wala akong natanggap na sagot sa mga salita ko. Sa Halip ay sabay-sabay na buntong-hininga at sigawan ang narinig ko.

“Please don’t ever doubt my love for you baby. I will always love you. I love you so much. But now I’m giving you the chance to find another woman and fullfil my promise in you to her. Please find a woman who can be with you. A woman without big responsibilities. But let me meet her,” Napapikit ako nang mariin saka ko hinayaan ang eroplano kong tahakin ang umuusok na himpapawid. I don’t like her tone while saying those, and her message. It’s like she’s bidding goodbye.

Another plane dropped it’s bomb. Ganito na ba kahangal ang mga tao ngayon at magagawa pa rin nilang bombahin ang isang lugar na kung saan naroon ang kanilang Presidente?

“I FVCKING TOLD YOU TO STOP BOMBING THE PLACE. CAN’T YOU HEAR ME? THE PRESIDENT IS ON THE INSIDE!” Muli kong sigaw sa radyo ngunit katulad kanina ay walang pumansin nito. With madness and fear for her situation, I immediately made an emergency landing near the cliff.

My chest tightened when the Chinese’s burnt aircrafts greeted me. While gunfires thundered inside. My heart is pounding uncontrollably right now. And tears began to strainly escape from my eyes, when I saw how devastated the place is.

Binalot ang pandinig ko nang mga putok ng baril, dahilan para lalong mangilid ang mga luha ko. Malabong makarating agad dito ang mga kasama ko sa ganito kadaling panahon. And I’m sure it’s not the Air Force that are exchanging some bullets inside. I hardly clenched my fists when an idea cross my mind.

No, it shouldn’t be her. She can’t be the one exchanging bullets with the enemy... Mabilis akong tumakbo papasok sa loob ngunit literal na tumigil ang mundo ko nang nakarinig ako muli nang malakas na pagsabog sa loob.

“NO! BABY NO!” My tears fell rapidly while I’m yelling my esophagus out.

Napaubo ako sa usok na nagmula sa pagsabog at sa nagbagsakang pundasyon ng tunnel. Ngunit hindi ko ito inalintana at kahit gaano man kalabo ay desperado kong sinuong ang makapal na usok. Pilit kong pinapasok ang loob.

Ngunit sinundan ito ng isa pang pagsabog, at masasabi kong sa pagkakataong ‘to ang bombang dala ng mother plane na ang bumagsak. I can feel the great explosion’s impact, causing my body to fly in a no particular direction.

But I can’t feel the pain. Right that moment my body became numb. My heart broke to millions of pieces. My tears fell more uncontrollable. Because I know that right that explosion, her principles, her responsibilities, her courage, her country thoroughly take her away from me.

Dahil alam kong sa pagkakataong iyon ay tuluyan na ngang nangyari ang kinatatakutan ko. My star perished along with the huge explosion without giving the meteor a chance to save her.

————

“Sir? Sir? Sir!” Malabong sigaw at mahihinang pagtapik sa pisngi ko ang nakapagpagising sa ‘kin.

The moment I opened my eyes, it automatically landed on the dazzling sky. Bahagya akong napapikit dahil sa liwanag ng araw. Ngunit napahinga ako nang maluwag nang marinig ko ang payapang alon ng dagat, maging ang maligamgam na ihip ng hangin.

It’s just a dream. Napangiti ako saka inalayan ang sarili kong tumayo gamit ang mga kamay ko, ngunit nakaramdam ako ng labis na sakit sa balikat ko.

“Sir you’re wounded!” Nang tingnan ko kung bakit ay tila nanigas ang katawan ko. Bumilis ang paghinga ko at sumikip ang dibdib ko. May nakatarak na bahagi ng eroplano sa balikat ko. And this means... My feet automatically found its strength to stand up and edge my way towards the... devastated hideout.

“Baby...” Labis na nanghina ang buong katawan ko na kahit ang sumigaw ay hindi ko magawa. Kung gayon ay hindi panaginip ang lahat?

“Sir! Sir! We need to go!” Hindi ko pinansin ang pagtawag sa ‘kin ng isang sundalo, sa halip ay nagpatuloy akong nanghihinang naglalakad. My body trembled and my tears began to rapidly fall again. The excruciating pain that I thought was just a dream slowly crept in causing my heart to be broken again in millions of pieces.

Nang marating ko ang loob ay lalong nanghina ang katawan ko. Kusa akong napaluhod nang sunog na mga katawan ang nadatnan ko. I cried silently while screaming without voice. The pain I feel right now is too much that I can’t even utter a word.

“Sir...” Pilit akong pinapatayo ng sundalo ngunit wala akong lakas. Tila naubos lahat ito.

This can’t be true... My fiancé is alive! She promised me that she will wait for me! She promised me that we will get marry after this. But...she didn’t..

Tahimik akong umiiyak habang dinaramdam ang sakit. Ang sakit na tila hinigitan pa ang naramdaman ko noong nawala si mama.

“Baby...” I could hardly augment my words. The pain is keeping me from doing it. Tila isang imahe na nagbalik sa ala-ala ko ang lahat ng mga panahon na magkasama kami. Those moments where I am able to kiss her, hug her, and tease her. Those moments where I am embracing her from the back while we are both staring at the starry sky. Those moments where I can hear her sarcasms. And that moment where she told me that she’ll marry me.

Ang lahat ng iyon ay tila isang malabong ala-ala na bumaha sa isipan ko. Mga ala-alang naghatid ng labis na sakit sa puso ko. Baby why you have to be like this? You’re too unfair! Why? How? How could you leave me like this? How could you hurt me like this? When all I did is to love you!

“Ang daya mo Eurydice! Ang daya mo! Minahal kita higit sa lahat! Ngunit...ako? Minahal mo rin ba ako katulad ng pagmamahal ko sa iyo? Dahil Eury...nangyari nga ang kinatatakutan ko...in the end you chose your first love over...me.”

“At ang sakit! You hurt me baby! You hurt me! How could you do this to me?! I thought you’ll wait for me and marry me!? But...why? I wish you didn’t made a promise to me! You’re too selfish for being this selfless Eury! You should’ve...you should’ve think of me! But why? Why is that this damn country is all you care?! Anong meron ang bansang ito na kahit buhay mo ay handa mong ibigay? Bakit?” Tuluyan na akong napahagulgol. Ang dami-daming katanungan sa isip ko. Tila lahat nang nakikita ko ay napakalabo.

I could hardly accept the fact that she’s gone. Because I know how strong and tough she is. An explosion won’t defeat her. And she will never leave me. But I know that I will just sound denial.

“Sir...” Napatingala ako sa sundalong kanina pa tumatawag sa ‘kin. He’s my Sergeant. Dahil luhaan ang mga mata ko ay hindi ko masyadong maaninag ang inabot n’ya sa ‘kin. But the moment it landed on my palm, my tears welled up even more. And it just proved me more that everything is real.

“Where did you get this?” He pointed me the scattered and burnt ammoniations.

With my trembling knees I tried to stand up and walk towards it. And the moment I saw where the ring came from. My knees fell on the ground again. This time it’s weaker. The pain I feel was multiplied. With my weary and trembling hands, I struggled to reach the necklace which was laced in the body’s neck..

Sunog na katawan habang nakasaludo ang nakakubli sa likod ng mga nagkalat na kahon ng bala. At suot n’ya ang kwintas na ibinigay ko sa babaeng pakakasalan ko. Lalong tumulo ang mga luha ko at pakiramdam ko ay mawawalan na ako ng hininga sa labis na sakit na bumabara sa lalamunan ko.

Hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang hininga mo ay ang bansa mo pa rin ang inalala mo.

Sa isang iglap ay umalingawngaw ang palahaw ko, pilit kong binubuhos ang lahat ng sakit. Ngunit wala...tila wala itong epekto..

“You thoroughly leave me my love...” Muli akong napahagulgol ng iyak habang nakaluhod sa harap ng katawan n’ya. Hindi ako makapaniwalang ito na s’ya ngayon. Wala ng buhay...

“Sir we have to go!” Nagmamadaling tawag sa ‘kin ni Sergeant Rolan matapos umalingawngaw sa paligid ang malakas na pagsabog na sinundan ng palitan ng putok ng baril.

The war isn’t over yet...

Gamit ang natitira kong lakas ay pinilit ko ang sarili kong tumayo. Hinubad ko ang suot kong gula-gulanit na, na uniporme saka ko ito marahan na itinakip sa katawan n’ya.

I wiped my tears and gathered the remaining strength and courage within me as I offered to her burnt body my greatest salute.  A salute of loyalty, bravery and a salute of my undying love for her.

I will finish what you had started baby....

She died for this war and I won’t let her death be in vain. I will win this battle for you baby. I will...

“Guide me to the battlefield Sergeant.”

Explosions are everywhere. Bullets seems like fragments of destruction that blows together with the sultry air. I grabbed my rifle and locked my helmet. Lieutenant Escriber smiled at me when he saw me. But I couldn’t give him the same smile. It’s like my lips don’t know how to smile again after I lost her.

May isang barko pa ang paparating lulan ang mga Tsino. Saglit akong napatingala sa kalangitan. Walang bituin at tanging araw na lang ang nakikita ko. Ngunit alam kong araw man o gabi ay hindi nawawala ang bituin at nanatili sila sa kalangitan.

“Watch me baby as I will fight for your first love. Watch me while I’m having the courage of finishing what you had started. I won’t disappoint you. I promise. I love you so much...” Mabilis na akong tumayo at sinundan ang Tanke de Gera na nauna sa ‘min.

“General!” My men called me with a gleam of happiness on their eyes. I wish I can see those gleam in the eyes of my fiancé...

Lieutenant Escriber ran towards me and patted my shoulders. “Let’s fight for her.” I nodded in his words. Kasabay nang pagsigaw ng mga kasama ko ay ang pagtakbo namin ni Escriber patungo sa aming mga pwesto. Mabilis kaming tumalon patungo sa isang butas na nilikha ng pagsabog.

I aimed my rifle towards the approaching Chinese soldiers from the water.  Kasabay nang paglandas ng luha ko ay ang pagsigaw ko sa galit at ang pagkalabit ko sa gantilyo ng baril.

“RPG!” Malakas kong sigaw sa mga kasama ko nang makita ko ang isang sundalong Tsino na dala-dala ito at kasalukuyan nang inaasinta ang direksyon namin. At sa isang iglap ay sabay-sabay kaming tumakbo lahat papalayo sa mga pwesto namin.

To think, we already have the advantage of the war for there are only about hundred of aircrafts from the Chineses. But their soldiers are like us. They don’t know how to give up. And they are determined to win this war.

There are almost eight thousand of Chinese soldiers and we got ten thousand Filipino soldiers and two thousand five hundred American Marines. We got the quantity. But what matters the most is quality.

Napamura ako nang makitang sumabog ang isang Tanke dahil sa missile na nagmula sa warship ng mga Tsino. Ito ang nagsisilbi nilang suporta. Ngunit hinaharangan na ito ngayon ng sarili naming barko.

Sabay na nagsigawan ang mga Tsino saka buong tapang na tumakbo patungo sa direksyon namin kaya’t mabilis namin itong pinaulanan ng bala. Napapikit ako nang makitang deretsong nasaksak ang isang kasama ko matapos makalapit sa kan’yang pwesto ang isang Tsino.

“General we fvcking need our gunner! Our two gunners are down!” Sigaw sa ‘kin ni Escriber habang patuloy s’yang nakikipagbarilan.

“Sergeant follow me!” I called Rolan. Agad siyang tumayo at sabay kaming tumakbo patungo sa dating pwesto ng gunner.

We made a successful jump towards the hole. My hand immediately trace the devil’s gun’s parts while Sergeant Rolan are already putting the bullets on it.

I veered my eyes at my surrounding. Filipino and American soldiers were bravely fighting. All I can see is there burning fire of determination and courage, that death can never efface.

“Look at them baby. They are all determined to win this war. They are all determined to finish what you had started...”

Sunod-sunod kong pinaulanan ng bala ang mga paparating na Tsino. Ni isa ay wala akong pinalagpas at siniguro kong hindi na sila muli pang makakatayo. Until my last breath I will fight for this sea. For she died for this.

Matapos ang ilang oras na palitan ng putok at kaliwa’t kanang pagsabog, ay tuluyan nang lumubog ang araw at muli nang naririnig ng lahat ang hampas ng mga alon. Kasabay nito ang pagwagayway ng bandila ng Pilipinas sa ere. Ang bandila ng bansang labis n’yang minahal. At ang bandilang sumisimbolo ng kan’yang sakripisyo at katapangan.

Nagsigawan ang mga kasama ko, may ibang naiiyak sa saya, na para bang hindi sila makapaniwalang buhay pa sila.

I edged my way towards the water. I chose to weakly sit on a dead body of a Chinese soldier while I’m locking my eyes at the vast ocean sprinkled with smokes and devastated parts of the Chinese’s warship. May ibang bangkay na naglutangan sa dagat ngunit pinili ko na lang itong balewalain.

“Baby we won. Nanalo tayo. West Philippine Sea is officially ours now...” I uttered with a weary smile while my tears are streaming down.

Sa huling pagkakataon ay buong tapang akong tumayo habang nakatanaw sa malawak na karagatan. Dinama ko ang tubig na pumapasok sa bota ko. Nakangiti habang umiiyak kong itinaas ang kaliwang kamay ko.

I took a deep breath before straightening my back and arching my arms perfectly making a 30° angle.

“I will never win a battle against your memories baby. Guns and battlefields will haunt me with your every memories. I am now giving my greatest yet last salute for warfare. I am now giving up my license baby. I can’t fight anymore without you...”