"I've been keepin' an eye out for you all day, well since August, actually."

"Joey—"

He tapped one finger against his lips, "You swore it wouldn't happen again. You changed your work schedule, and ghosted me for the rest of the summer. I'm not askin' you to call me every day, but shit, Jericho, nothin' for weeks? Ignorin' my texts? What changed?"

Jericho sighed, and a frown replaced his neutral expression as he crossed his arms. He almost let his best friend of four years fuck him in the front seat of his stupid truck, and he's asking what changed? Did he remember or not?

"Joseph, I really don't want to talk about this with you right now. Please don't make me."

He wanted an explanation but Jericho needed time and space. To sort his feelings out, figure out how to approach this, how to word it.

"Jericho, I just want you to tell me what's wrong. You know I don't like it when we get like this because you always stop communicatin' with me. The only thing that stopped me from goin' to your house is the fact that I knew it would cross a line. But God, this is frustrating."

It's not like he can just flat out tell him what's been going through his mind. (He can, he just doesn't want to.) 'I think about your hands on me every day.' No, it's never that easy. So, he did what he does best, deflect until he figures it out.

"Is that right? Come talk to me when you cool off then, 'kay?"

Ever since the blond's rise to fame his sophomore year, he's gotten too comfortable with the special attention. Anyone with sense could see that he was treated like the award-winning peach cobbler at the county fair by his peers, parents, and professors just so they could get into his family's good graces or his pants.

He knows damn well that Jericho's one of the only people who care enough about him to clock his massive ego and tell him when to chill the fuck out. The brown-haired boy was stubborn, but at least he didn't sugarcoat anything for the sake of someone's delusion.

Jericho held his eyes but still walked away first, sitting down at the circular table and finally greeting the friends he hadn't seen since the party; both went back home in the middle of June to see their families.

None of them shared any classes this year, so lunch and weekends would be the only times they'd ever really be able to talk.

"Jericho!"

Angelica Byun smiled widely, softly rounded sandy-brown cheeks rising like dough in an oven. She brushed her loose curls over her shoulder and glared at the other person sitting at the table with them.

Her dad was Korean and her mom Jamaican. So, she had the whole blasian ulzzang look going on, that's what she called it, and all sixteen thousand of her Instagram followers would agree.

He met Cadence Bukhari, sitting right in front of him, through Angelica during his first year of theater. They're all complete opposites, but they can go for a while without talking and then bounce back like it never happened.

Cadence said a quiet hi in response, Angelica's eyes finally reaching him. He smoothed down his curly, copper brown ringlets and adjusted his glasses. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Jericho.

"Anyway! How was your summer? And you can't say boring."

Well, she got him there.

"I didn't do anything except for work, and all those summer projects nearly tore my ass up."

She laughed at him; Angel was tiny, but she was loud, and a few people glanced over at them when the giggling didn't stop after nearly ten seconds.

"That's what you get for taking all ap classes..."

She suddenly stopped both speaking and laughing at the same time.

"I'm not taking all ap class— what is it?"

The girl had probably tuned him entirely out at this point and stared blankly at something right past his head, mouth slightly agape. He turned around, following her gaze across the large room, and there he was walking towards them.

Jericho had to stop himself from slamming his head through the table when Joseph finally arrived and stood in front of the small group. He gave his signature smile and a charming 'howdy' to the other two and took himself a seat to Jericho's left.

"Do we really have to do this right now?"

Tired of trying to reason with a guy who didn't listen to anyone except for the voice in his head.

He grinned, "Yes, we do. I'm cool, I have to get this off my chest, though."

"You couldn't have lead with that instead of dragging me off and cornering me?"

"Cho', look. I shouldn't have done that, and you're right, ok? But just hear me out."

Jericho wasn't ready for this conversation but gestured for him to continue anyway; he'd at least try to keep an open mind.

"I was feelin' some type of way because, after the party, I felt like suddenly there was this," he moved his hands in between them exaggeratedly "invisible barrier between us?"

He continued with a miserable grin, "I thought I'd made it pretty clear how I felt. I figured it was mutual, so that's my fault if I came on too strong. But, after that I only saw you once durin' the summer by chance. I know I should've taken the hint and stopped, and I'm sorry, but you even stopped sharin' your location with me. Jericho, that's a safety measure."

Joseph put his elbow on the table and leaned his cheek against the palm of his hand.

"I want nothin' more than to fix this, I swear on my life. But please you have to stop keepin' me at arms distance with no explanation. Shit hurts."

Jericho never wanted to lie to him in the first place, he doesn't deserve it, but the truth wasn't any better. Just because the blond already knows him and showed interest first doesn't change anything. In fact, it's so much worse because they've been close for so long.

He was afraid of getting hurt again. Turning off his location was a spur of the moment thing after the other sent one too many messages about coming to see him. He just forgot to turn it back on after.

There's no way in the world the relationship would last anyway. Joseph would realize they worked better as friends and everything would already be fucked at that point. Heartbreak really messed people up and Jericho's had his fair share of love scars.

"You remember everything that happened at Franky's party?"

He could tell that Cadence and Angelica were trying to listen in now. They still wouldn't be able to hear without making it super obvious, so they would probably interrogate him later.

"Like the back of my hand, sweetheart."

He couldn't pay them any mind right now, though.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Joseph rubbed his free-hand down his face, "You didn't ask. I thought you didn't remember it, that's why I was so lost on why you weren't speakin' to me."

The brown-haired boy rubbed his eyes and lowered his voice even more because he didn't want to talk about it anymore; he wanted to disappear. Embarrassing. This whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding and he'd nearly lost his mind over it.

"Fuck. Ok. Yeah, I should've told you sooner, but I was scared. I'm sorry. I miss you to death, but bringing all of that into our friendship? I still need time to think about this, Joey. We were this close," he pinched his fingers, "to doing something irreversible. We weren't sober, and it happened so fast, more than once. I didn't know if you were just fucking around and wanted us to..."

He stopped himself from saying anything else, fear of rambling on any more than he already was.

"Wanted us to pretend that it never happened?"

Joseph finished the sentence for him and exhaled softly when Jericho nodded.

"Mm, I don't."

The blond reached out but stopped himself short, scratching the back of his head; instead. Jericho watched him take a careful look around the cafeteria and did the same. Realization finally settling in at the number of eyes on them right now. Fucking ridiculous.

"I don't wanna forget, Jericho. I'm not the kind of guy who can just bury somethin' like this and act like shit is sweet. If we could go back in time," he stood up and tapped a knuckle under his chin, "I wouldn't change a thing; don't shut me out anymore. I won't bother you right now, but we're going to talk about it. I hate not knowin' where I stand with you."

Jericho chewed on his lip but nodded at him as he left the table. Joseph was different from all of the guys he's ever been with, so even entertaining the thought of being more than what they were now was a pipe dream. However, his friends weren't having any of that, they both gave him knowing looks.

"Not right now, please?"

Angelica frowned but shrugged, silently agreeing to leave it alone until he was ready to tell them something. She knew that he lied for sure now, but it would all come to light eventually. Cadence shook his head and turned away.

They talked about their summers for the rest of lunch, and eventually, the bell rang, signaling the five minutes they had to get to their last block of the day. He waved goodbye to his friends at the doors and walked near the wall through the crowded hallways so he wouldn't be late.

Several nosy people tried to stop him, but all they were going to get was a curt nod and maybe a half-smile depending on who it was. The only reason most of them wanted to talk to him was that he knew Joseph personally.

The brown-haired boy pulled his literature analysis textbook out of the locker and l made his way to the door, walking into the half-full classroom and looking around first.

His fourth block class was Honors English, and every year since ninth grade, at least one of Joseph's football buddies was in it. Jericho knew most of the guys on the team because they also did track in the spring. He didn't recognize anyone so far, though, so he sat in his assigned seat next to the window and waited.

Thus far, all of his classes were missing a certain someone, and for that, he was grateful. It was probably seconds before the bell was about to ring now, but the seat next to him was the only one still empty, and, of course, he spoke way too soon again because that could only mean one thing.

The door slammed open, and in walked one disheveled puffy lipped, Joseph Turner, pearly white smile aimed at the teacher, and all was forgiven. But, the smile quickly dropped from his face when he saw him. Guess he didn't count on being in the same class.

It was probably one of the twins that grabbed him, and Jericho wanted to act like he was only a little hurt, but it just wasn't working out. So, he ignored him, and to think Joseph claimed that he "wouldn't change a thing" not even fifteen minutes ago.

Obviously not enough to fend off a five foot seven girl who couldn't take no for an answer. He nearly fell for it too. If they got together, he'd be in for a world of disappointment. Joseph thrived on attention and was too much of a people-pleaser.

Jericho turned his head in the other direction and rested it in his folded arms on the desk. He inhaled, held his breath, and released it for four seconds each, and when that didn't work, he scowled. This was going to be a very long year.