Slowly, Naruto registers a light from behind his lids, and he settles into his body. In the distance, machines flip right the fuck out, and voices sound.

"-waking up, get away-"

"Move now, or I swear I'll kill you myself-"

Naruto feels like a battered piece of diarrhea, to be honest. His mouth is dryer than a Suna drought. His throat feels itchy, and his lids are heavy.

He tries to shift and roll over to hide from the world, and he feels the telltale tug of a catheter inside him, which is not so great. He also becomes aware of a gentle, rhythmic puffing on his face, and a mask.

Probably over all those things though, he feels absolute agony sing through his side, and a wheeze in his chest when he breathes. He becomes very aware of how very much he hurts, and he keens in his throat as he flutters his eyes open.

"Hurts," he rasps. His voice sounds different, all high-pitched and soft.

Light sears his pupils, and he winces, but he realizes that makes his head hurt more. The world swims around him, and he becomes aware of a hand in both of his.

Scratch that, make that hands all over him, clutching at him like he's going to fall. He feels the familiar pulse of medical ninjutsu around his temples, soothing the pressure, and he smells the sharp tang of disinfectant that tells him he's in a hospital.

He tries to mumble something again, but his dry as fuck mouth stops him, and he blinks, trying to focus on something. He feels the mask on his face move, and something wet and spongy is shoved past his lips.

Naruto sucks on it greedily for a moment before he realizes it is, indeed, a wet sponge, but then he continues because he doesn't give a fuck. The moisture helps his throat and mouth find some sort of sense of normality as more light is shined in his eyes.

"Dilation is normal, as is tracking. Chakra pathways are flowing normally, and all her vitals are in range now, save for her low blood pressure, but that seems to be a long standing condition-"

He knows that voice. That's the voice of his pink haired teammate...

Naruto blinks, then blinks again. His vision clears enough to show multiple people around her bed, but bafflingly enough, Sakura leaning over her, smiling a nervous smile.

"How are you feeling?" she asks placidly.

"Sak-...nng!" Naruto tried to get up but a tremor pain ran through his body causing him to fall again.

"Careful, Naruto! Your body is still weak!" Sakura scolded the blonde. She walked over the blond and sat down besides him.

"Naruto," She started gently, "Do you remember what happened?"

Naruto looked at her and shook his head weakly, "I-I don't re-remember..."

Sakura offered a sympathetic smile, "You were on a mission with Sai. You guys were attacked by S-rank bandits with mysterious bloodline. You were hit by one of their jutsu causing you to transform into a...a-" She hesitated.

"A what?" Poor Naruto was scared shitless.

"-a girl!" She blurted.

"Girl.."Naruto repeated in disbelief.

The blonde willed himself to calm down, "So? Just cancel the jutsu. I'll be back to normal, right?"

He felt faint when Sakura shook her head, sympathetically, "It is irreversible, Naruto. You're a girl permanently. I'm sorry."

Naruto gulped. He- She was silent for a moment then Turned to Sakura, "Permanently?" she inquires, bewildered. She can feel her heart rate pick up, an the monitors around her echo that. The beeping increases in speed, and it's annoying.

She feels a hand bump hers, and when she follows the limb up, Gaara is glaring down at her.

"Idiot," he declares, and Naruto can't help a weak smile. He never did like her plans, but here he is, by her side as she wakes up. He must have been pretty peeved as well, because he knows this is exactly the stunt she would pull, and yet here he remains. Because that what friends do.

"Hi, Gaara," she says, her mind drifting a bit. "Didn't know you're visiting..."

"You were in a coma," Gaara impresses on her. She is still feverish, and she's fretting over little things again. She could have died.

"Naruto," reassures Kakashi. "Just because your gender is changed doesn't mean that you're not our Naruto anymore."

"A coma," says Gaara again. "For two weeks."

Naruto blinks. Then, she lets out a yelp and immediately attempts to hurdle out of bed despite her pain and disorientation.

It ends very poorly for her, because her IV tugs painfully in her arm, and her ears fill with a ringing sound. There is a moment where the world goes black, and she feels far too dizzy, like she is spinning around after taking ten too many shots.

There are hands guiding her back down, and she is limp against them. She can hardly make her body move, and she has to grit her teeth to keep from screaming. Her entire body feels like it's on fire, but also like, maybe, there are knives in the fire inside her body.

"Two weeks...Coma..Girl...Permanently." she slur in weak protest. It echoes in her head like panic,

"I'm going to give her a mild painkiller, but please remember that too much stress could cause her to relapse," she hears Tsunade chide.

"Tsunade-sama, you know how she is. Don't bring it up-" Sai joins in, and it's only because he's peeled his sweaty hand away from hers to chew out the two medics.

The drugs hit her like a hot stream of liquid fire into her veins, and for a moment she struggles against it. Depressants scare her, they always have.

Her mind is forcibly numbed, but she manages to think, Sakura-chan knows I hate this shit, before she loses coherence. Anger and panic drain away. All she can feel is mildly high and relaxed, and the pain echoes distantly instead of overwhelmingly.

Hate this, she thinks dully. It's like there is smoke in her head, fuzzing and softening the edges of reality. Deep in her gut there is a sense of nausea and fear, and she knows that it will last as long as the drugs do. Give her agony over this any day, give her bone deep pain and searing discomfort over this numbness.

"Sakura-chan?" she croaks, and she is there, warm and full of life. She feels her hand, strong and firm on her shoulder.

"...hate this," she tries to snap, but her voice is soft and distant. A breathless whisper.

"Perhaps if you did not strain your already weakened body, or stress yourself out so much, there would be other options," Shizune tells her cheerfully. "I apologize for any discomfort, but you need to heal. You are still very hurt."

she whines, "I'm okay."

"You are not alright, and you will rest and get better," Kakashi informs her. "What needs to be done so badly?"

Naruto lifts her free hand slowly, mouthing words without a voice. Hesitantly, Kakashi leans over to hear her better, but he simply ends up with her warm hand on his face.

He eyes her with a deadpan expression as she stares him down, her eyes clouded. Her fingers trace the edges of his cheekbone for a second before her arm slides, as if the weight of the limb is too much for her to hold.

"Ramen," she whispers to him, as if it is a great secret.

Yamato snorts.

"I want Ramen," she told Kakashi.

"Ah," Kakashi states dutifully as her hand slips further, her fingers holding on to his neck as if clinging on for dear life. He never thought it would be this entertaining to see her reasoning impaired so much.

"very hungry," she tries. "Needs food."

"I believe you'll be fed appropriately," Kakashi assures her.

"But Hospital food sucks," she tells him seriously. "Need Ramen."

"I think you'll manage," Gaara grunts with an eye-roll.