Why did most, if not all thoughts always have to lead to such a complicated mess? Sure, sometimes they could be exactly what you need in a situation, the key to unlocking the treasure chest that had been holding the answer you had been searching for oh so long. And yet at other times, they could be your worst nightmare to drag you down into the deepest pit of despair—ripping the key right out of your hands and burning it right in front of your eyes.

No better example could come to mind than this right here, the endless ocean of thinking the Border Collie had been drowning in for who knows how long. The last she checked, her clock said it was nearing midnight, and personally, she knew that the more she checked it, the madder she'd be about losing more of her precious sleep.

Not that it would do her much good now, she was nearly positive that it had been at least an hour since then. But after constant tossing and turning, she gave up and tiredly raised her head, reaching out and grabbing her tag. 

Thankfully it wasn't enough to trigger anything, but it still hurt when the bright, blinding light shinned through her house while she squinted to force her eyes through the pain so she could actually read the clock; and the time was just after three. As if tonight couldn't get any worse.

And she knew full well that if tonight was a normal night, she would've been passed out by now, she had everything one could need for a well-rested night. She had her stuffed penguin resting safely in her arms, her warmest blanket over her, a fluffy pillow (though it was nowhere near the pristine amount of fluff that...actually, nevermind on that one), and she had her sleeping medicine running through her system—although that really wasn't doing its job. It was everything she needed, but it was pointless if she couldn't calm herself down.

She would be the first to admit, the day she heard the big news, she wasn't totally in love with the idea of a younger brother, but after a bit of talking it out and simply letting her emotions die down, she truly was excited.

She loved puppies, that much she had figured out when Ruby and Gus were younger—and plus, who didn't like puppies? It was thrilling, she really did want to be a part of his life, to be the big sister that he could always turn to when in a time of need—whether that would've been shown through a shoulder to lean on or simply a partner in crime, honestly, she was willing to be both.

But now...now he was gone, and she could only watch as it all happened in front of her eyes. The color washing out of his face, the sudden stiffness of his legs, the soft and helpless whimpers as he tried to cling to life. 

It wasn't the first time she had seen life leaves her family's eyes, but the experience didn't make it any easier. And even then, her parents were years ago, a childhood memory that was still vague and blurry—this was going to be a clear vision in her mind for years to come.

"Ugh...and Mom and Dad too," she whispered out loud, allowing her thoughts a little bit of relief from the sweet escape from her mind—no one was gonna hear her, after all, not unless her penguin came to life. But regardless of if her stuffed animal was eavesdropping or not, she still held genuine concern for her parents, as much it hurt for her, she could only imagine the pain of parents seeing their puppy leave this world.

She had seen her dad upset before, but never like that, never in such a way that he couldn't control himself. And her mom, well, she wasn't really sure what was going through her mom's head, she definitely never made a point to show it. 

Surely the husky was as miserable as the rest of them, but she was doing an incredibly good job at not letting it show; that or she really did just feel...something different. Something she couldn't quite understand.

Then, of course, there was the other big event of the night—yes, she figured it was a bit selfish for this to be on her mind right now, but she couldn't help it! She couldn't choose what she was or wasn't thinking, and hey, it brought her some sense of comfort thinking about it. Well, mostly comfort, there was one of the worst feelings of anxiety she had felt, not to mention the warm butterflies in her stomach.

Emma: the one girl she loved above all others, the beautiful Australian Shepherd she had written off as a daydream that was never coming true. Had she...really done that earlier tonight? She should know, she was there, of course, but the whole moment felt more like a blur than anything else.

What was it supposed to mean for their relationship? Did it mean anything? Emma literally licked her, and it was very clearly not an accident, and the shepherd almost looked just as nervous after it was all said and done. Hugging was fine, they did that a lot, and anyway, that was pretty common between friends. But licking? That was practically kissing! Could two people even kiss each other platonically?

The main question was the same one that had been living freely in her head for a while now, did this mean that Emma actually liked her back? There were times when she liked to think of a scenario in which some magical moment would take place to confirm that her dreams of mutual feelings were true, but somehow she had never actually planned for what she would do if one of those moments decided to come into her life. Emma was usually on the quieter side, and while she usually wasn't when they were together, asking about this would probably count as an exception.

All this thinking made her feel like she was on the brink of insanity, and no matter how much she tried to calm herself down to finally give her body the rest it clearly needed for the night, no good deeds were repaid. All of this effort, and what was her body's response? It was...being hungry, for some reason. At first, it was just a small craving that she was able to ignore, but after all of these hours, she was hearing her stomach rumble so much that she couldn't think straight.

Sighing, she eventually forced her stupid brain awake as she pried herself out of bed and out into the after-hours world, feeling the cold fall air blowing against her fur as the moon shinned down against her. 

She held her scarf against her neck—the wind trying to blow her precious cloth off of her neck as she trudged into the elevator, leaning against the wall to keep herself from falling asleep. Then again, at this rate, she wouldn't exactly be mad about falling asleep in the elevator, at least then she'd actually get sleep.

In the end, she wasn't given any sort of lucky beauty sleep when the elevator doors opened and revealed the dark, lifeless lookout. Her eyes were already well adjusted to the darkness, it didn't take much effort for her to find the small dispenser that would dish out small snack-sized portions of kibble. 

Unfortunately, it required her to scan her puptag to use it since some—also known as her cousins, and occasionally Rubble, but mostly her cousins—would abuse the machine's power to no end without something to hold them back.

Thankfully, she was still able to take her fair share, bring it over to the couch, and eat away as she looked up around her, holding only the purest intentions of going back to bed once she was done eating.

And once she had finally scratched that hungry itch of hers, she definitely would have gone to bed until she saw a dark, shadowy outline of a figure standing in front of the balcony doors. At first glance, she was genuinely terrified that she was so tired that she was starting to hallucinate ghosts, but after a few double takes and tiptoeing a little closer, she had an easier time making a much, much more educated guess as to who it was.

"Mom?" The moment the words left her mouth, the husky flinched and darted her head behind her, her tired eyes narrowed at her pup until she fought through her tiredness and processed who was standing there—a much more welcoming and compassionate expression melting onto her face once the pieces were in place. 

The Border Collie smiled and stepped closer, doing everything she could to ignore the dazed eyes and messy fur of her mother as she reached out and fell into her arms.

"H-hey, sweetheart. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Everest quietly asked, embracing her pup—not that she could really be talking, she was supposed to be sleeping too. The collie quietly sighed to herself, knowing that yes, she absolutely should be sleeping. But if it meant anything, she totally would be if given the choice, she couldn't exactly control what it was that fate decided to give her to work with.

"I-I'm trying, I took my sleeping medicine and all that but I can't sleep. I got hungry so I came up here for a snack." The husky slowly nodded understandingly, letting the silence drift back until her daughter let another sentence spew out of her mouth. "I-I'm sorry about Miracle, Mom. I-I know it probably hurts a lot for you."

"It's okay, Audrey, h-he's not really gone," she insisted with a raspy, almost emotionless voice. Audrey glanced up at her in confusion, only to see her looking out past the windows at the starry night sky above them. 

Part of her wanted to assume that her mom was just trying to be reassuring, and while that was an incredibly reasonable assumption, she...wasn't totally sure with the confident tone of voice the husky held.

"Yeah, Mom," the Border Collie eventually muttered in response, that being the safest reply she could think of—regardless of what was running through her mother's head, that should satisfy either mindset. And thankfully. Everest softly smiled, even if it was followed by her lowering her head and wiping tears out of her eyes; a deep breath leaving her mouth.

It was all...weirdly concerning, the black pup had never seen her act anything like this, honestly, she hadn't seen anyone act like this before. But she was most certainly not going to be the one to question her grieving mother—now was just about the time when anyone could get a free pass for anything.

"B-but I know this is hard on you too, him not being here right now. If you're looking for something to do...I was just about to go out onto the balcony, just to clear my head for a bit before I try to get back in bed. You wanna come?" At this rate, anything sounded better than laying alone in the darkness of a lifeless doghouse. And even if she was tired and barely able to keep herself up straight, she slowly nodded, gripping onto her mom's paw in the process.

The husky smiled softly as her daughter leaned against her—a part of her going into a fully protective mode to keep her away from any dangers of the world that may be sent after her. She pushed past the glass door and held it open for the both of them, letting the cold sink in as they stepped outside.

"Are you cold out here? " Audrey shrugged, though shivers that shook through her body gave the answer that her mouth never did. Thankfully, it was nothing that scooting closer to her mother to cuddling against her coat of fur couldn't save her from. "W-well, alright, just let me know if you need me to get you a blanket or anything. Or just if you need to talk, I'm all ears."

As horrible as these circumstances were, feeling her mom's fluffy, lavender fur (her own personal blanket for the time being) keeping her warm and safe while the chilling wind blew against her own fur gave her as much comfort as one could probably feel right now.

And even though she was hesitant to reach out to the offer being handed to her, Audrey knew that there was a lot she needed to talk about. She hated the idea of adding more onto her mom's plate, but at the same time, she didn't know if she could manage suffering in silence for that much longer.

"Uhm, actually, yeah, can I ask you something?" the collie nervously asked, getting a questioning hum from the older figure. Audrey kept her head low as she suddenly felt a leg wrapping around her, hugging her closer for support—or simply comfort, either way, it was a nice hug that she gladly nuzzled into. "H-how do you deal with...feelings like this?"

"You mean...how do I help myself when I feel down?" As much as she didn't want to admit more than she already was by just talking about this, Audrey nodded along. At first, Everest's first reaction was to toss that question out the window and tell her to ask her dad for help, that she was the absolute last person to ask for healthy coping methods. Even as an adult, she had only found that answer for herself a year or so ago, throughout the rest of her life she was the one fighting an addiction that claimed that it would help her with these feelings.

And maybe she would've had an easier time walking away from that if she didn't look back over to see the desperation on Audrey's face, begging her to give some sort of advice, anything that might make her feel better. 

Even after today, whether she considered herself a failure or not, she was still a mother, and that was the highest job she could hold—not that she no longer considered herself a mother to Miracle, of course.

"Well...I-I won't lie to you, I was never good at that. W-when I was younger, and I think it started around your age, I...got myself into a pretty deep hole when it came to coping, one that took me years to get out of. I'm still learning myself, and what I can tell you not to do is constantly try and push away whatever bad thoughts you may have. I'm not saying to give in to them and let them control you, but don't force them away. They don't have to mean anything if you don't let them, pushing them away will just make them come back stronger," she explained, pretty much just paraphrasing the advice Haley had once given her—yes it wasn't hers, but it was good advice.

"So...you're saying to just let them come and go?" Audrey tilted her head as Everest smiled in encouragement, feeling the pup's head gently pressing against her side while her eyes looked up in wonder. The husky did feel just the slightest bit of accomplishment that she seemed to actually be able to help her daughter in a way she could never do in herself, but she didn't let that get in the way of her priorities.

"Yeah, exactly like that. Like, here...whatever you're thinking right now, make sure that you aren't thinking of Grandpa Jake's cabin," she instructed, glancing downwards at her daughter whose eyes were squinting in confusion at the request. All the while she was forcing herself with every square inch of her mind to fight through her despair and hold out a little bit longer for her pup's sake. "Did you think of it?"

"W-well, yeah, I couldn't not think of it. That's cheating, Mom," The Border Collie protested with a small laugh, shockingly getting a small giggle out of the husky as well—even if it was mostly bittersweet. It's not like she was wrong, the entire point of the question was to be handcrafted with that exact purpose in mind, and besides, it wasn't a test of her ability to think of something.

"Yes, it is, but you saw what happened. The more you try not to think about something, the more you end up thinking about it, like the cabin. That's exactly what happens with these bad thoughts, the same rules apply, to any thoughts really. Another thing, and I know you're probably sick of me telling you this, but it's still talking about them. I know it's scary, and I don't blame you at all, but you have me, Dad, or even Katie or Emma. Anyone that you think can help you, all of us just want what's best for you," she continued, gently running her paw through the side of her daughter's fur.

Audrey smiled and slowly nodded, adjusting her scarf to keep herself warm and wrapping both of her legs around her mom while she buried her head into the safety of her shoulder. She couldn't see Everest anymore, but she could feel her loving guardian holding her in place against the warmth of her fur—an endless blur of lavender that held her carefully and protectively.

"T-thanks, Mom, I appreciate it," she whispered, gently feeling her mother licking the top of her head. However, even though she was thankful for all that her mother was doing for her and she couldn't bear the thought of shoving even more problems her way, her questions weren't done. Not quite yet. "S-so...can I ask something else? It's unrelated but I can't stop thinking about it."

"Of course you can, sweetheart. What's on your mind?" Audrey nervously went quiet for a moment, resisting the urge to immediately blurt out her question instead of letting herself think about it so she could word it in a way that wouldn't completely rat herself out. How to ask this without seeming completely obvious was way easier said than done, and that was ignoring the odds that Everest already knew exactly who it was she was thinking of.

"H-how do you know if someone likes you or not? Or, how do you get them to like you?" Although it was subtle enough to not be noticed, Everest grinned, naturally seeing directly through her attempt at hiding her secrets—she was as easy to read as the pages in a children's book. No insult to her daughter, naturally, she merely saw it as sweet.

Oh how she had waited for this, she knew this question had its chances of coming up sooner or later, even if she was incredibly terrified of how it would all play out. Her daughter moving into the stage of her life that held blossoming relationships never comforted her, she had to admit.

There were parts of her that wanted to talk Audrey out of them to keep her safe, to spare her pup from the horrors she once experienced—to protect her, the same way she wanted to protect Miracle. But at the same time, she knew how magical they could feel, the beautiful new world they could open your eyes to. Just as long as they were healthy and something both parties truly loved.

"Well...I suppose you can never be positive if someone likes you, but from my experience, it all depends on how they act around you. But still, that differs between everyone, the only real way to know for certain is to tell them," she explained, seeing the sudden yet attempted-to-be-hidden panic on the Border Collie's face after hearing the horrifying suggestion of confessing feelings.

"O-oh, okay," she muttered, clearly stressing herself out over the mere idea that the only way she could ever get her happy ending was to risk it all by telling Emma directly. Everest couldn't blame her, there were a lot of things in relationships that were scary—and even if it wasn't what her daughter wanted to hear, it was the necessary truth. Regardless, she would not let this conversation end without giving her at least some peace of mind.

"And, there's no real getting someone to like you, if that makes sense. Real love is something that happens naturally, it's scary sometimes, but also worth it in the end. I can tell you this much, your dad and I starting to date was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. If you're ever feeling that way for someone, you should tell them, if they genuinely care about you they'll understand no matter what their answer is," the husky continued, still having to convince herself that this was helping her daughter and not setting her up for failure.

"Y-yeah...I guess that does make sense. Thanks, Mom, I-I think I'm gonna head back to bed. Love you." Audrey carefully stood up as she hugged her mom one last time, once again receiving a few licks against her cheek. She was still terrified, to put it simply, speaking her mind was rarely something that worked out well for her. If this really was the only way, however, hopefully, it would work out better.

"Anytime, Audrey, sleep well. I love you too. Oh, and before you go...don't worry, I think you and Emma would make a very cute couple." Immediately, Audrey's face heated up as she tried to brush it off—refusing to believe that her mom knew. If she knew, that meant her dad did too, but hey, maybe that was just anxiety talking. Everest just giggled, letting her daughter off the hook this time as she looked out at the starry night sky. "Don't worry, I'm just messing with you. I'm just gonna stay out here a bit longer and say goodnight to Miracle, you go on ahead. Goodnight, sweetheart."

As worrying as it was for the Border Collie, if everything went according to plan, maybe her feelings not being such a safely guarded secret was what she was meant to do. The thought of rejection still terrified her, so much so that she was fully ready to back out if need be, but she had to silence the voice in her head before it drove her insane—even if it meant risking losing the only friend she had ever known.

Besides, they already had a sleepover scheduled for tomorrow, and the small possibility of it working in her favor sounded too amazing to pass up. It could end horribly, in fact, it probably would, but there was still that one in a million chance that it could turn out to be the best decision of her life.