How does it feel to be human yet want to fly?

For me, being human is knowing that you have a lot of flaws that keep you rooted to thee ground without a chance of escaping from the words of bitterness from the people who supposed to care for you while playing favorites with your siblings.

But that doesn't mean that I don't want to fly away and be free from the misery.

And since living with the Lomax clan and undergoing this dynamic shift in my life, you can pretty much guess that it's like my feet aren't even touching the ground anymore since everyone is insisting that I speak life to myself despite my rocky start. Now, I will admit that I have these thoughts from Mommy Dearest that still nag at me for being such a poser, trying to fake my way to the top when everyone can see right through my soul- and that's true, whether I want to believe it or not. If you can see me right now, you can tell that I'm still this bitter Black teenager who's been broken and abused like a rag doll my sisters would like to toss around and imagine that I was ready to be thrown away.

But the one thing about surviving my late parents and siblings and a failed suicide attempt that I can remember now is that I have nowhere to go but forward. I have no idea where I'm heading and I'm clueless about what's ahead when Mom's voice warns for me to save face and end it all. But this strange force that's pushing me to keep moving forward is all but too real. So, I'm just going to keep running forward and find out what the real endgame is. It can either crash and burn on me like a time bomb or it can lead to something...more beautiful. The only way to know for sure is to keep moving forward.

One week after Epiphany and Serenity gave me the heads-up about Jillian and Ryan, I made it a mission to stay away from both of them. Believe me, I want no dealings with a lovelorn jock who clearly has some unwanted baggage who has platinum-blonde hair, statuesque-built like Julie Newmar, and can carry a grudge like Joan Crawford and Bette Davis combined. Something told me that I had to focus on myself and let my spiritual and emotional wounds heal.

Which is why I'm currently at swimming and diving practice with some of the guys, feeling grateful that my late parents allowed me to do such things back at the neighborhood YMCA since neither of my brothers nor sisters thought it was cool enough. For all its worth, I was able to get out of the house while they did their thing (partied and conspired against me when not out and about) as the Tuckers were there to cheer me on when I flipped and swirled in the air before splashing into the waters effortlessly when I wasn't beating my competitors.

And as I finished a somersault full twist from the five-meter springform, everyone could see that I was meant to be a part of their world, even if it meant feeling subconscious in my dark-black triangular spandex swimsuit while all the other guys looked like athletic gods in theirs.

"Nice work, Bader!" boomed Coach Lanier, a middle-aged woman who was rumored to be a part of the 1984 water polo team for the USA Olympics, as I emerged from the water and accepted my chamois from Javi (who was on the team and my current partner for the platform). "Kid, I didn't see why your late family never supported you for being a diver. You could give Ipsen and Dumais a run for their money if you had enough training."

I shrugged my shoulders before sitting down just as I saw her approach me. "Well, ma'am, my late mother only valued football, basketball, and track/field as 'the sport of winners,'" I replied, huffing a deep breath. "And she didn't want to see guys wearing little spandex, but I guess anything that was to keep me out of her way was better than sticking around and dealing with her rants at me."

"Her loss," a tanned redheaded female swimmer scoffed. "But she's dead alongside her henpecked husband and her group of haters while you're alive and breathing. She didn't know how good she got it."

"Damn right," Javi agreed just as a young man who looked around my age came forward and sat on my right while my foster brother took to the left. "Anyway, Demario, this is my classmate Oliver Slade, one of the platform divers on the team. I've been telling him all about you lately and he wanted to know you better."

I turned my attention to the mystery guy, taking in his masculine features that complimented him very well: sun-kissed skin, a strong jawline, a bit of a beard that was forming, closely-cropped blonde hair, and deep-green eyes that made me feel a bit lost in his gaze. "Charmed to meet you," I replied, shaking his head.

"Pleasure's all mine," he replied. "I already know enough about your family to understand what you're going through. I thought I had it bad when I came out as trans three years ago."

Now that was unexpected. "You? Transgender?" I said, my eyes widening as I gave him a once-over. "I never knew."

Oliver smirked. "It's amazing what a lot of professional surgery and bodybuilding can do," he teased. "But my family, my parents, were hardcore Christians that didn't accept the new ideals of this country. So I got tossed out and was disowned. Joke's on them since my transgender uncle, who also had the same fate done to him back when he was in college, took me in and accepted me. We kind of have a father-son bond now."

I nodded. "Good to know," I replied. "I wished any of my former relatives had given me any support. All of them wanted me out of their lives when-"

"Don't talk about them," Javi admonished me, narrowing his eyes. "They're part of the past, Demario. It's time for you to move forward to the future."

"Agreed, Mr. Lomax," Coach Lanier hummed. To me, "Demario, I know you're on the springboard for this week's first meet, but I want you to at least consider being Oliver's partner for the platform sessions and get to know each other better. I want you to let him work with you regarding a full workout and nutrition plan as well as bond with each other outside of the weight room and pool. Think you can handle the challenge?"

I thought for a moment. "Might as well," I answered. "I'm already expanding my horizons by being a part of this team and the music ensembles, so I might as well go out of my comfort zone and see where things lead."

"That's the spirit," the female redhead chirped. "I think that you and Ollie could be good for each other. Besides, Ryan still has Jillian harping after him and he's got way too many issues."

"Jillian," Javi warned, shooting her a sharp glare.

"It's okay," I said, giving him a comforting smile. Besides, it's all the better to stay away from Ryan by all means necessary. Plus, it allows me to get to know Oliver Slade, the transgender diver who could give any cisgender male a run for his money.

The rest of practice went on without a hitch, and too soon it was time to head home after a relaxing shower. "Hey," I heard Oliver say eagerly just as I was getting ready to head out of the indoor natatorium.

I turned to him as he caught up with me. "What's up?"

He pulled out a simple card that boasted of his phone number. "Call me anytime," he said. "And if it's not too much to ask, I want us to meet up this week and maybe even hang out."

I caught a glimpse of Ryan, who was currently talking with both Antonio and Evan. "Sure thing," I replied. "Name the time and place."

Oliver grinned, his perfect teeth on full display. "Great," he cheered. "See you around, Bader."

I watched him leave, my gaze lost on his masculine frame that still captivated me.

"Ready to go?" I heard Evan ask from behind me.

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Let's go home, guys."

And just like that, I may have unknowingly met my first star-crossed lover. But as I shot a glance at Ryan and caught his unamused stare, something told me that things were going to be more complicated. Thankfully, Golden-Boy Peavey wasn't riding home with me and my brothers as we breezed past him.

But yeah, folks. This story of mine was about to get interesting in more ways than one.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Oliver Slade! And from where things stand, he might be a new love interest who will compete against Ryan for Demario's heart! We shall see what happens next since Oliver will be involved in this story as we move on.

In the next chapter, Demario is surprised yet again by one of his late mother's former coworkers as we go down memory lane. Stick around, folks, as things get more and more interesting!

Dedication: CowperViolet. Song: "Human" by OneRepublic.

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