DREAM SEQUENCE

I used to think that life and death was like saying hello and goodbye, as if one person gets off from a train ride and has to wait a long time for the next one to arrive and the earth was like one living and breathing station where people would be waiting for the next journey of their lives.

And after being shot at the gala, I was now caught in between the land of the living and the railways that led me to the afterlife and what awaited for me there. I can't say that me being shot to death wasn't a surprise since I didn't intend to die at all, not after my "failed attempt to end my life" with my old famiily abandoning me and all that. And even though Ryan Peavey and Theo Blake were unglued after everyone abandoning them for making my world come unglued with revealing my dark past; I guess you can say that the duo did teach me some things in regards of this complicated world. I learned that life can be chaotic for those who are rejected for being weaker and abandoned to die. But while others usually lament and undergo pity parties, there are some who dare to rise above their situations and dare to defy the boundaries set against them.

I learned that for every failure, there is victory ahead and vice-versa. People can be cruel yet there's always some goodness in some who want to see people come out of the shadows. And while society always favor the top dogs and powerhouses, there's going to be some people who admire a good Cinderella story and want to fight for the underdogs.

I even learned that even when you give the world the best you have and they end up kicking you in the teeth, you got to fight on and continue to present the world the best you have. And that you have to dream big when others try to shoot you down.

I learned so much about everything after my suicide attempt that I didn't think it would be possible to come out stronger after I had been dealt a bad hand with the past- being rejected by a family who hated me because I was a love child, losing my parents and siblings to a car wreck before being left with nothing but my mother's contempt and hatred of me, and me facing a possibility of homelessness that had me considering ending it all so I wouldn't be dealt with more failures. If I had ended it all, I wouldn't have met so many faces who had believed in me and wished me the best in life, rediscovered the hidden music in my heart, regained my  true purpose, and even fell in love with a transgender young man who continuously lives in his truth. But most of all, I knew that I wouldn't have known who was fake and who was truly real.

My life wasn't charmed, I'll admit, but at least I did regained some of my worth and was content with leaving this world and-

"Demario, don't let go of this world, child. Don't close your eyes. It's not your time just yet," a sweet older woman's voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

"Your grandma's right, boy," came an older man's voice that was sharp yet kind. "You still have people who still wish you the best. Don't let your music end."

A flash of bright light enveloped me and I was now back at the old apartment that was my prison, only this time the furniture and trappings that my ex-relatives took was back in place and I was now in the kitchen and staring at the three people that were the root of everything.

Grandma Lottie Mae and Grandpa Joseph Ingram, both dressed in their Sunday best that they were buried in, were sitting at the table, both of them giving me sad smiles.

And at the countertop near the sink, dressed in her Baby Phat ensemble and her perm still fresh, was my mother Vivian Emmeline Ingram-Bader as she had a nonchalant look on her face as she crossed her arms. "Hello, Demario," she said crisply. "Take a seat."

I did so, sitting across from Grandma and Grandpa.

"First off, you're not dead in case you're wondering," my mother said crisply. "And as much as I hate to say it, you do have people who do give a damn about you and want you to come back."

"Vivian," Grandma admonished her sternly. To me, "Forgive her, baby, your mother is still a pain in everyone's behinds in hell alongside her husband and those kids of theirs."

"There your grandchildren too, Mama," Mother said, frowning. "I don't see why you favored someone that I should've aborted a long time ago."

"Because you never gave two cents about someone who didn't deserve your contempt, Vivi," Grandpa Joel shot back, gripping his cane as if ready to beat my mother silly. "Demario did everything you and your supporters asked of him, yet you hated him because you had some fling with a closeted man who had HIV. And your mother and I wouldn't have forgiven you if you aborted this boy who did nothing wrong."

"He broke this family for being a love child, something that I didn't want since my husband and the kids knew he brought bad luck," Mother rebutted, sneering briefly before her face morphed into one of tiredness. She turned to me. "Look, Demario, I don't apologize for what I did back then. Neither does my husband and your brothers and sisters. In my book, we were the ones who should've lived that day and had your uncle Carl put you down. If things had gone to plan, you'd be with your grandparents and-"

"That's enough," I couldn't help but say, feeling tired and pissed off.

"Excuse me?" Vivian said, giving me a bewildered look.

"You heard him," Grandma said curtly.

I took a deep breath, ready to put this to rest. "I didn't get shot by some lovelorn jock just to be put down and dogged all over again all because you're a bitter woman who played favorites," I said calmly. "I get that you will always hate me because I'm a love child, but that doesn't mean that you can continue to act like- and I apologize for saying this, but it has to be said- a total washed-up queen bitch who wasted her youth and time on her anger. If you had been faithful to your husband- the man that I thought was my father, then maybe you could've had a happy family. Then again, I might not have been born and around to take care of your sorry household like I was a maid."

If I could see my mother blush with indignation as her mouth dropped open in shock with her eyes wide, I would've laughed. "Y-you can't-" she spluttered.

"I can't say the truth, is that it?" I sassed, giving her a pointed glare. "Well, too bad for you because it's the cold truth, toots. If I could give you, your husband, Camilla, Shauntay, Demarcus, and De'Sean the entire world on a silver platter with golden spoons, you all would still hate me for being in your family. No matter what I did or how I stayed out of your hairs, it wasn't enough for you. No, you still wished me dead and hinted of ways of how Uncle Carl could make my death look like a suicide so you could cash the insurance check and gamble it all away. In your world, you see my brothers and sisters as assets while your husband holds top seniority. Me? I was an expendable liability- someone who was worth more dead than I was alive. But you didn't expect me to outlive you all since I had to take my finals at Frederick Douglass High alongside the sorry excuses of football and basketball players who couldn't win a championship to save their skin. And for the record, I highly doubt that your precious boys could even get a scholarship at Texas Southern because they're potheads without the good sense of a billy goat. And your daughters being future beauty queens? Please! They're basically clones of you being beautiful yet having ugly hearts. Yet you and your husband favored them over me because I wasn't a part of your American Dream. I bet you still wish that thunder and lightning to kill me where I stand, don't you? Well, too bad for you because I'm not going to let you get the last word, Vivian Emmeline Ingram-Bader. You had your chance to be a good mother and you blew it with me."

I sat down, my heart now cleansed as Grandpa clenched my hand.

My mother, ever the street-smart and hard-hearted woman...was speechless.

"You hurt this boy more than you realized, Vivi," Grandma said gently. "He needed someone to love, yet you made sure that he didn't have that. If it wasn't for those Tuckers and anyone else back at Fairlake Arms to give him a few comforts, he might've ended it all sooner. I thank  the Lord Almighty that those girls were quick enough to get him to the hospital so they could pump out his stomach. You damaged this boy up to he was ready to end it all because of your pride."

"I'm not sorry, Mama and Daddy," my mother said stubbornly. "I have zero regrets with treating that thing like he was nothing. He's always going to be a nobody yet I'm going to leave him alone because he hates me. The feeling's mutual."

She sneered briefly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Is that how you really feel, Mommy Dearest?" I asked her.

"You know it," she replied arrogantly.

A loud clap of thunder echoed around and my mother instantly vanished, her screams silenced by more thunder while a flash of lightning made my skin crawl.

"Don't be afraid, child," Grandma said, noticing my look of fear. "That's just the Lord doing His business and ready to give your mother and her brood their punishment. Like that judge said, they're in that place with people who mistreat His gifted children."

"We've been watching you for quite a while, son," Grandpa noted, giving me a small nod. "You didn't deserve all of what she and her followers gave you. But the Lord didn't want you to end your life because He had bigger plans for you- you regaining your love for music and even falling in love being one of them. And even now, He knows that it's not your time just yet. You have a lot to live and fight for, Demario. And your journey on Earth isn't over. There's still songs left to create and share with the whole world. And you got some people on your side who wish you well. But most of all, that Slade child is waiting for you."

He pointed to where the TV was as it flickered on and showed me still lying on the hospital bed as a teary-eyed Oliver and his uncle kept a silent watch over me when Gianna, Jose, Judge McGillivray and even my foster dads came in to join them.

"They're all waitin', child," Grandma said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "The question, however, needs to be answered. Are you willing to continue to fight for what's yours? Are you willing to continue to rise like a phoenix and show your mother that you're not going to let her dictate your life?"

Was I, readers?

It's so easy to give up and let go of life when things got rough. But picking yourself up and deciding to brave through the storms...that was going to take a lot of courage and grit. And after everything that was said here in this void and even before I got shot, I knew that I needed to continue to prove to myself that I could survive.

No.

I needed to start living.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at my two supporters- the guardian angels who I knew wouldn't let me fall to pity- and said the one word that would seal my fate. "Yes."

Grandpa smiled widely. "Then you live your life and let the music flow within you, boy," he said. "And I'll be expecting to see you win lots of awards yet remaining humble. Never forget where you came from and never lose your light."

"We love you, Demario," Grandma said, her face glowing even as everything began to fade. "We'll be watching over you."

"I love you too," I said as everything faded away before I closed my eyes and said one silent farewell to my guardian angels...

******************

"Demario..."

"Get the doctor...coming to..."

"Oh, wow...babe, I'm here...my hand..."

My eyes fluttered open slowly to see the relieved faces of my boyfriend and his uncle, Ms. McGillivray (her immediately pulling out her phone), Gianna (she had been crying for a while), Jose (ditto), and even Joel and Taylor (double-ditto, though the latter will deny it if asked).

"Welcome home, Demario," Oliver said. "Don't scare me like that again,"

"I don't intend to," I promised him, wincing slightly as the pain in my stomach lingered.

And just like that, I felt like I was back home.

Folks, I bet you're crying over this chapter right now, aren't you? I'll admit that I felt misty when I wrote this, but more angry at Vivian as she's unrepentant of her  sins. No matter, she's not going to be a part of this story any more. She had her say and she's finally paying the piper.

Anyway, how do you like the part when Demario finally giving his mother the much-needed roast that needed to be said? I think Dominque Jackson from "Pose" would've been pleased.

Anyway, we check in with Theo and Ryan as reality sets in and they soon realize that they made a big mistake. Oh, boy.

Dedication: -belis and sweetdreamer33. Song: "Hate on Me" by Jill Scott.

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